More Great Moments in Writing

Great writing is flourishing in the comments section of Amazon (as I've recently noted). Today's example comes via the hundreds of  'reviews' of a BIC ink pen ''designed for her":

"I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks."

---

"Normally my hand writing is defined and strong, as if chiselled in granite by the Greek gods themselves, however upon signing my name I noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and looping. More worryingly the dots above the I's manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses. Obviously I had no choice but to challenge the delivery man to a gun fight on the rim of an erupting volcano in order to reassert my dominance. Had I not won this honourable duel this particular mistake might have resulted in a situation that no amount of expensive single malt whiskey and Cuban cigars could banish. I leave this review here as a warning to all men about the dangers of using this particular device, and suffice-it-to-say will return to signing my name with a nail gun as normal."

---

"Gone are the days when I had to wrap my delicate lady hands around an ugly man pen to write my recipes and devotional love poems to men. Now I can commit myself to writing to do lists with an oh-so-soft grip between the frail appendages that - were they stronger - could be called fingers."

Twittering and Pinteresting Political Power

Tracking and counting political tweets and Facebook 'likes' are now a part of American politics - perhaps in much the same way that a teenager might observe and evaluate their popularity.

Yes, there is now a daily Twitter Political Index.

And there's high-profile use this year of political parties on Tumblr, Pinterest and Instagram.

Campaign strategists eyed the tweet-count for the Republican convention (Paul Ryan peaked at 6,000 tweets per minute, Romney had 14,300) and easily put their texting prowess to work - President Obama had 52,000 tweets per minute during his speech.

The singer Madonna, however, racked up 10,000 tweets per second during her Super Bowl halftime performance. (stat counts via here and here) But does any of this translate to actual votes?

The Pew Research folks compiled a study earlier this year on how Democrats, Republicans and Independent voters rated "social media" as a political tool. Some of the results:

"Some but not most users of social networking sites (SNS) say the sites are important for a variety of political activities:

• 36% of SNS users say the sites are “very important” or “somewhat important” to them in keeping up with political news.
• 26% of SNS users say the sites are “very important” or “somewhat important” to them in recruiting people to get involved in political issues that matter to them.
• 25% of SNS users say the sites are “very important” or “somewhat important” to them for debating or discussing political issues with others.
• 25% of SNS users say the sites are “very important” or “somewhat important” to them in finding other people who share their views about important political issues.

In each activity, Democrats who use social networking sites are more likely than Republicans or independents to say the sites are important."

Click to enlarge

Being talked about seems to be the goal, with the hope then that talk translate into votes. As an organizing tool, it would seem to be quite valuable and it also seems that Democrats use it best. If it leads to votes, however, is still the real question.

Or is all the twittering, pinteresting, facebooking merely a modern version of capturing hearts and minds?

Dangerous Dumbing Down - The Fatal Flaw in Gov. Haslam's Education Policies

Is the process of getting an education merely a system designed get a job and to create a workforce? I wrote about this topic in August, noting Gov. Haslam's push to steer education into job training. As he said at the meeting with business leaders:

"The state that's going to win is going to be the state that figures out how to understand market demand, then define that back to...middle schoolers and high schoolers in terms of what do they need to be doing to prepare, and then funds that appropriately," Haslam told the group. "So what I'm trying to do is figure out how do we tie that loop together?"

This idea isn't a new creation, it dates back to the early 1900s, as noted in an editorial by Michael Roth, president of Wesleyan University, in today's NYTimes. And Roth points out the idea was challenged then by John Dewey, calling out such efforts as an attempt to reduce humans to mere tools of industry:

"Who wants to attend school to learn to be “human capital”? Who aspires for their children to become economic or military resources? Dewey had a different vision. Given the pace of change, it is impossible (he noted in 1897) to know what the world will be like in a couple of decades, so schools first and foremost should teach us habits of learning.

"For Dewey, these habits included awareness of our interdependence; nobody is an expert on everything. He emphasized “plasticity,” an openness to being shaped by experience: “The inclination to learn from life itself and to make the conditions of life such that all will learn in the process of living is the finest product of schooling.” 

"The inclination to learn from life can be taught in a liberal arts curriculum, but also in schools that focus on real-world skills, from engineering to nursing. The key is to develop habits of mind that allow students to keep learning, even as they acquire skills to get things done. This combination will serve students as individuals, family members and citizens — not just as employees and managers."

Gov. Haslam has already said he plans to introduce legislation to tailor education to the needs of business and industry. While I see the value of having higher employment rates, it's a critical error to sacrifice education in order to fulfill an industrial business plan. The discussion and debate about education must include more than their desire for faithful employees - smart, broadly-educated populations can accomplish so much more.

Combat At Knox World's Fair Park

Photographs by Virginia Beld

A horde of fighters swinging swords and howling commandos locked in combat are headed to the Amphitheater at the Knoxville World's Fair Park!

And you are invited to witness it all.

The Wild Thyme Players will present the 2nd Annual "Duels and Desserts" on Friday Sept. 14th at 7 pm for an evening of intense entertainment everyone can enjoy.

Stage combat scenes, an original one-act play, a silent auction and a baked goods sale will make for a heck of a great time at this fundraising event. The actors will perform vignettes using various fighting styles and weapons, including broadsword, rapier & dagger, quarterstaff, epee, knife and unarmed stage combat. The second half will present a swashbuckling original short play based on “The Three Musketeers” written by WTP fight choreographer Mark McGinley. I asked Mark to explain just what these combat scenes are like:

"We have a rather large cast. There are 21 of us playing a variety of roles. Our youngest cast member is Lexi Trigg, who is 11 years old. She's very excited about getting to do a sword fight with her father, Steve. One of our seniors, Jeanette Stevens, will be appearing in two fights that she wrote herself. 

"We've been in rehearsals since mid July. It takes a lot of time to put together a show with this much combat in it. 

"Stage combat is the art of simulating a fight for the purpose of telling a story. It's a matter of working safely with a partner to create the illusion of violence. Yes, stage combat has a lot to do with the martial arts. Good martial technique is important to sell the illusion to the audience. If a fighter is out of stance, lazy, or sloppy the audience will lose interest in what's happening on stage. Stage combat also has a lot in common with dance. When you're in a stage fight, you're doing a learned sequence of movements (choreography) with a partner (not an adversary). 

Rehearsals for the daring combat

"All our weapons are 100% real spring steel. No rubber weapons here. They just don't make that pretty ringing noise. We do use dulled blades, though. We're not crazy, you know.

"And our silent auction will have a pretty wide variety of items to bid on. We have UT memorabilia, free passes to Flyaway in Pigeon Forge, hand made jewelry, and more. And of course, there will be baked goods."

Yummy desserts and combat! That makes for a winning combination in my book.

The event gets underway with doors opening at 7 PM, and the performance will begin at 8 PM. Admission is free with suggested $5 donation or bake sale purchase. Gift packs with merchandise and gift certificates from various local businesses will be up for bid in the silent auction. A portion of the proceeds will go to TribeOne, a community leadership development organization based in East Knoxville. Media sponsorship is provided by WUOT-91.9 FM. For information call 325-9877 or email director@wildthymeplayers.org.

The WTP mission is to provide collaborative learning opportunities in a process-centered environment for artists of all experience levels and backgrounds, and to encourage appreciation of theatre in our community. Formed in 2006, the company is an all-volunteer 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. 

So go!

The Great Maple Syrup Robbery Mystifies Canada

Just how does one steal over 10 million pounds of maple syrup? And who knew that Canada has a 'global strategic maple syrup reserve'?

One of the warehouses in the 'reserve' network in Canada held an inventory check recently and the theft was discovered ... yet, the thieves only took the syrup and left a massive wall of empty barrels:

"Now, we are trying to evaluate how much maple syrup is missing. It’s walls of barrels of maple syrup. It’s a very big warehouse. We have to take every barrel and check it for the content, and weigh them. We think that its a significant amount. But there is maple syrup left. But we will also have to be very cautious or take a lot of precautions.We will analyze it. Every barrel is graded and has a bar code, and its very strict. So now, that someone has just came in this warehouse, and just like played with the maple syrup? No. This is not fun. We will take it very seriously."

Many folks speculate the syrup was never really there, speculating that someone or a group of someones, hustled thousands of empty barrels into the warehouse. It's a true mystery and perhaps the market will be flooded (slowly perhaps) with black market syrup, estimations are that one-fourth of the 'strategic reserve' are gone.

Oddly - there have been recent numerous instances of large-scale thefts of sweet stuff.

-  In British Columbia, a heist of honey and bees and hives was reported: "The equipment required to pull off such a caper may have been significant. Constable MacDonald speculated that the hive frames may have been placed into a temporary structure, then transported on a flatbed truck. But even lifting the honey-laden frames would not have been easy. 'You can just imagine the weight of some of these large hives,' he said. “They probably needed a forklift.”

-  Tons of elderberries were stolen from one massive Austrian farm: "The thieves, who cut an opening in the perimeter fence to access their target, had probably been at work since last Monday, police said. They even came back for more on Friday and before dawn yesterday. The berries were of a special variety used in the pharmaceutical industry and as colouring agents.

In fact, bulk food theft has been sweeping across Canada and other locations.

POSTSCRIPT: A grim and brutal theft of food in India by politicos, valued at over $14 billion,  leaves populations in starvation.

Clint Eastwood, American Icon, Learns The President Might Be A Democrat, Gets Riled Up

I've been trying to puzzle out just what Clint Eastwood said last night at the GOP convention -- he had a semi-angry argument with an empty chair, which he claimed an invisible President Obama was sitting in. 

"You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going? Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball...

I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Democrat??!!!

"Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello?  There are too many leaves in your walkway...

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

"Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

"Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, 'til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between."

Oops, sorry, that was from Abe Simpson, not Clint Eastwood, though it's easy to get the two confused ...

Tampa's Convention of Dunces

Given the clumsy, clueless and mean-spirited 'debates' dumped out by the passing parade of Republican presidential candidates for much of 2011 and 2012, the final days of their selection of a candidate for president was never going to hold much credibility, was it?

The lack of honesty, ideas, plans and the abundance of denials that their party has stalled Congress for the last 3 years has been difficult to witness. I'm all for opening up a discussion of ideas about political policies - but it just has not happened. What's left is a precarious balancing act which signifies little other than the absence of ideas.

Perhaps it shouldn't be any surprise then that vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan hauled out a litany of distortions and deceptions while attempting to excite the folks in Tampa. Lies are what are cited in one report today (limiting the focus to just the five "biggest" ones):

"I’d like to talk, instead, about what Ryan actually said—not because I find Ryan’s ideas objectionable, although I do, but because I thought he was so brazenly willing to twist the truth.

"At least five times, Ryan misrepresented the facts. And while none of the statements were new, the context was. It’s one thing to hear them on a thirty-second television spot or even in a stump speech before a small crowd. It’s something else entirely to hear them in prime time address, as a vice presidential nominee is accepting his party’s nomination and speaking to the entire country."

And the most-repeated and lovingly embraced distortions from The Nominee himself, Mitt Romney, are likely to get repeated tonight too. 

As others have noted, it's just sad and weird that the only idea the GOP is pushing into the political field is simply - "We still don't like Obama and that's enough for us and should be for you too."

Dylan's 'Duquesne Whistle' Video Arrives

The newest album from Bob Dylan arrives next month, but today we have a new video from one of the tunes from "Tempest", called "Duquesne Whistle". The video director is one Nash Edgerton, who's had a long career as a stunt double in the "Matrix" movies and for Ewan McGregor in the "Star Wars" movies. So maybe that's why this video, featuring a young lady who drives a Gremlin, features her young male admirer who gets beat up for his single-minded romanticism.

This is a jaunty Bob Willis-styled tune, and Bob's voice is as gravel-bumpy as a forgotten road. I still so enjoy his work, and was recently diving back into his astonishing album from August of 1965. His musical creations have been a constant wonder during my lifetime. I'm quite glad we are both still here, exploring, playing and pondering life and love and everything else.

Duquesne is as fun to write and pronounce as Albuquerque.

Rep. Akin Said Out Loud What The GOP Really Thinks

The outcry from Republicans over the dangerously stupid comments of congressman Todd Akin is decidedly at odds with the very platforms of the GOP. One is left with the clear impression that the outcry is bogus, given the reality that Akin said out loud what the GOP really thinks about women, rape and abortion.

As columnist John Avlon writes:

" ... the Republican Platform Committee again included in its platform draft support for a "human life amendment" to the Constitution, which would not make exceptions for victims of rape or incest or even provisions for the life of the mother.

"So while this position is being roundly decried for political reasons in the case of Akin, it is simultaneously being enshrined in the official Republican platform. It is evidence that the problem is not the policies but the political damage of discussing them in public."

Republican-led legislatures have very successfully been challenging a woman's right to choose, with vows to shut down Planned Parenthood (despite the many vital medical services they provide) and in Tennessee, a new law has nearly eliminated choice options in Knoxville, forcing one clinic to shut down.

Great Moments In Banana Slicing History

Apparently everything real or imagined is for sale on Amazon.

But as entertaining as the products might be - like the UFO Detector or the Uranium Ore or Tuscan Whole Milk - it's the comments/reviews which are the most entertaining.

For example, take the Banana Slicer for sale.

- "For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed."

- "I always struggled with cutting bananas. Should I use my holiday cookie cutter set? My spoon? My laser pointer? My chainsaw? Sometimes the options were so overwhelming that I'd just throw caution to the wind and eat the banana skin-on. This tool has really taken the complexity out of a task that had left me in tears time and time again. Thank you Vittorio Banana Slicer."

- "As you may or may not know, I have 27 trained monkeys I use to do my evil bidding. Well, the younger monkeys teeth have not fully developed and so slicing a banana to feed them is a necessary chore. The adult monkeys used to have to chew up bananas and feed their young but not anymore with the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer."

Pages of comments/reviews begin here.

Happy Blog Birthday to Me

August 2005 marks the creation of this humble yet lovable blog. And no sign of stoppage yet.

I'm moving into the 8th year of global digital publishing, noting that many a web site and blogging page has arisen and vanished, and I am, as always, simply happy to be here. Readers from just about every nation have made their way here over the years and I appreciate all of you so very much.

I must also thank The Google for creating this platform which allows me the ability to share my thoughts with the rest of the planet.

Here's a salute to all of you courtesy of Sam and Dave -

100 Best Maniacal Laughs

A hearty rip of maniacal laughter is created by both the Good and the Bad ... and the Lunatic too. In the clip below, honors go to multiple entries from Nick Cage, Gary Oldman, Bruce Campbell and just about all memorable Disney villains. One of the best things about this 100 Best Maniacal Laughs in Movies - you'll probably laugh yourself while watching.

There Is No Voter Fraud In Tennessee (Or Any Other State)

When the ridiculous notion that new, photographic Voter IDs were needed in every state of our nation, the most cursory examinations of voting records clearly indicated such laws and IDs were totally unnecessary, that no large scale fraud existed.

Now - as legislatures across the nation have made the decision to require these IDs - we get a formal, comprehensive study which plainly reveals what we already knew ... there just isn't any fraud to combat at all:

"News21, a part of the Carnegie-Knight Initiative on the Future of Journalism Education focused on investigative reporting, analyzed 2,608 alleged election-fraud cases, going back to 2000, mined from thousands of public records requests, in all 50 states. (You can peruse the resulting database here.) In all, they found just 10 cases of voter impersonation, or, "one out of about every 15 million prospective voters" during that time."

"In Tennessee, the study turned up 14 total cases of reported fraud since 2000, none of which were cases of voter impersonation. The city of Memphis filed a lawsuit last week, challenging the state's voter ID law on constitutional grounds."

Imagine that one person, let's say his name was Bob, and back in 2002, Bob ate a chicken salad sandwich that was rotten and it killed him, and every state in the nation voted to outlaw chicken salad sandwiches, even though no one can find anyone named Bob who died after eating a rotten chicken salad sandwich - that's pretty much what the bogus Voter ID law is built on - mindless fear.

In Pennsylvania, just as a case against the implementation of the law, the state has agreed the law is utterly without merit or necessity and is likely illegal:

"... state officials conceded that they had no evidence of prior in-person voter fraud, or even any reason to believe that such crimes would occur with more frequency if a voter ID law wasn't in effect.

"There have been no investigations or prosecutions of in-person voter fraud in Pennsylvania; and the parties do not have direct personal knowledge of any such investigations or prosecutions in other states,” the statement reads."

 The goal of the law, sadly, has been achieved - it will stop many from voting and will confuse the rest of us. It is not about fraud - it is a rollback to the days of when only white, adult males with property are allowed to vote. And that is not American at all. Shame on every legislator who approved these laws.

Tennessee Designers Make Mars Rover Move

It's deeply gratifying to learn that some very smart folks in Ooltewah, Tennessee are responsible for making the massive, newly-landed mobile laboratory on the surface of Mars actually move around.

The American Bicycle Group in Ooltewah (population: 687)  designed the legs to withstand to the landing and be able to move around the surface for the next several years, according to the story in today's TimesFreePress:

"The Chattanooga team left its mark on Mars, too. Each one of their names is etched inside the legs they helped create that have now found a permanent home among the stars."

At KnoxViews, R. Neal noted today that the wheels of the car-sized rover will leave a "secret coded message" in the Martian soil.

As this new hallmark in robotic space exploration made it's landing, some thousands of folks gathered to watch it all live on the giant screen in Times Square. (click to enlarge)

More pictures of the evening here.

The rover has a nuclear battery which could power the robot for some 14 years - the graphic below, via Space.com, reveals how it is loaded with cameras and equipment. (click to enlarge)

Mark Clayton: Triple Tennessee Facepalm

Our humble state of TN made national political news - once again - for achieving a new level of Dangerously Stupid Acts. The cause this time was the election victory last week for a full-blown toon named Mark Clayton as a Democrat U.S. Senate candidate.

Seems the voters just plunked down their votes for Clayton because his name was first on the ballot - and when you add in the idiocy with which the state Dem party operates, as discussed by Southern Beale on her blog - well, it becomes clear that it was just about inevitable that Dangerously Stupid would win the day.

For many months, I was fairly certain that actress and activist Park Overall was going to win that primary - she campaigned with much energy and speaks so plainly, it seemed a no-brainer that she would make a very fierce competitor for the incumbent millionaire Senator Bob Corker. Never underestimate the power of ignorant voters is the lesson we are left with I suppose.

Add in the fact that it was not until after the election of Clayton that the state Dem party disavowed Clayton. I know of many smart Democrats in Tennessee and read some fine writing from many of them online. But the state party is as deaf as a post apparently. You folks might want to start crafting some standards and hiring some people who are competent.

It's bad enough folks would vote for someone they knew zip about. And it's mighty clear that for the last few years the state Dem party has zero ability to operate with any significance. (And for the record I have never been a member of any political party.) The official state Dem response to Clayton's win simply "urges Democrats to write-in a candidate of their choice in November.”

Like that's a good idea. They need to throw 100% of their effort into backing Park Overall, who would at the very least make mincemeat of Corker during a debate. 

But here's my real concern -  our state has loads of Conservative voters and party leaders, I get that. But I also know there are many, many of us non-Conservative, non-Republicans who live and work in our humble state and we get zero representation in government, from the city level to the state level and the federal level. Like many of us in this minority group, I still write and call my elected representatives to express my views on many topics - and at best, all we get back is a "thank you for writing" and "your views are important" replies. And that's a lie.

These folks will not ever stand up for us, will not ever even consider the merits of the issues we raise, and that dismissal is final and permanent. And electing a full-blown toon like Clayton will just make it worse.

Does Gov. Haslam Want Dumb Workers or An Educated Society?

In recent days our esteemed Governor Bill Haslam has been holding meetings with folks from a wide range of business and university officials to talk about education with a particular goal in mind - that higher education must work harder to train people for jobs.

An article in today's KnoxNewsSentinel begins:

"Tennessee does not have enough qualified workers with specific skills, a high work ethic and critical thinking abilities, local business leaders told Gov. Bill Haslam on Tuesday.

College and university leaders, meanwhile, said they need more resources to adequately educate and graduate more students to fill those jobs.

"We're trying to have those conversations around the state to make certain we're providing positions that will train people for the jobs that are there today."

And while I certainly agree our state and community needs critical thinking skills, I read no mention of just what "specific skills" are being cited here, other than mentions of welding and engineering. And we certainly need to discuss and debate the role and the enormous impact which education has on our world at nearly every level.

The optimist in me wants to believe the driving forces for these Haslam-led meetings will lead to a better understanding of what the functions higher education should serve.

The pessimist, however, sees a day when higher education is either about technical services or football and other sports.

Reading the comments to the KNS story (often a grueling descent into nonsense) I noted the following one:

"We don't need any more fluff degrees.

No more philosophy, theatre, arts, sculpting, dead languages, mythology, psychology, library science, interpretive dance, music, music history, Greek literature, roman literature, American literature type degrees.
I could go on but why the state continues to fund universities that pump out not only worthless degrees but degrees that put their constituents into crushing debt with no real hope of finding a decent job in their field is beyond me.
If someone wants to get a degree in one of these areas its fine but why encourage it by offering scholarships to it?
China does it right. Scholarships and state funding only in areas that produce jobs in fields of study."

What kind of world will we have should we remove knowledge of history, science, the arts, language, libraries, music, literature, etc etc. Is emulating the nation of China our best option?

Is the sole purpose of attaining a college degree merely to obtain a high-paid job? Is there no value left in education if it does not lead to a giant paycheck?

Once we eliminate the areas of study the commenter suggests - critical thinking skills will likewise vanish. Absent ethics, philosophy, communication skills, understanding of history, the ability to express ourselves and our thoughts about our world, ignoring the past or ridiculing those who excel in all these areas - what kind of world would we have?

Humans are not meant to simply serve a machine of industry ... are they? 

Tennessee Senate Wants To Ban Teaching Gravity

(NOTE:  Satire follows below ... at least I hope it is satire.)

Speaking from outside the Tennessee State Capitol building in Nashville, Weinger said the bill would protect teachers who chose to criticize gravity and other scientific theories in their classrooms.

“The aim of all education is to teach students to think for themselves and we plan to do this by allowing children to be indoctrinated with whatever loosely founded views their teachers may hold.”

He added “there is strong evidence in the Bible that the Law of Gravity is a fallacy. For example, Hebrew 1:3 explicitly states that Christ upholds all things by the word of his power – seems like a pretty solid argument to me”.

“If you compare this against what’s currently taught – that matter ‘emits gravitational waves’ which ‘effect the curvature of the space time continuum’…well gravity starts to look pretty unlikely doesn’t it? I’m pretty sure most of those aren’t even real words. Unlike Christ’s.”

Ms. Jenny Fuller, an elementary school teacher from Gatlinburg TN who has been campaigning against the inclusion of gravity in the school curriculum for several years, said she was “delighted” with the outcome.

“I have long felt uncomfortable teaching gra…gra….this theory” she said. “It is clearly a dangerous idea to teach our children – Newton ‘discovered’ gravity by an apple falling on his head, Adam and Eve fell from the Garden of Eden for eating one. Then Newton calls gravity an ‘attractive force between all objects’ – such a mentality is clearly a gateway for temptation and sexual promiscuity”.

More here, and for those who need even more assistance:

SATIRE:  Noun: 1. The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices.

I Return to Blogging via A Wee Stroll Across The Internet

It was quite flattering to be called out by Mr. Silence for my absence over  the past month - it is good to be missed. So thank you.

It has certainly been a busy summer of news, grievous idiocy, botched governmental and social tomfoolery and more as the nation ponders presidential elections and witnesses the near witless fumbles of the old-fashioned media folks assigned to collect and share the national news.

A few random observations for you -

-- Here in my humble community - as in many others - I cringed when I saw the middle-school level of headlines and reporting following, for instance, the horrible massacre in Colorado at a showing of the newest Batman movie, "The Dark Knight Rises"  -- the headline?

My local paper had a picture of the theater where the events took place with a two-word headline: "Dark Night" -- had such a headline been presented in a freshman newspaper class, it would have gotten an F grade and a note that said "Tacky and Shameful". Sadly, so many other newspapers and newscasters said the same thing. Mass murders and tasteless witty puns do not go together. Yeesh.

-- A congressional race in Middle Tennessee over the seat held by Diane Black has become nothing more than A Battle of Millionaires, and they spend more time all Chicken-Little fashion wailing that Sharia Law and Mosques are taking over the state like giant swarms of man-eating kudzu monsters. Again, shame, shame. Multi-millionaires do not give a diddley-squat about improving the state or national economies.

-- A  research scientist in Stockholm was jealous when he assumed his wife kissed another man, so he cut off her lip and ate it. He told  the press: "I got the idea spontaneously. I thought, 'I'll get rid of it. I'm a man of science, I have a very high IQ. I have the ability to solve problems in a second'."

--  On a more positive note- a professional hula hooper performs for the crowd on how to hula hoop, pour a glass of wine and drink it while hooping - God bless the Internet -

Bloater Paste, Punting and The Glamorous Blanchisseuse

It's obvious, that I, your humble narrator and blogger have been absent for most of the month. But it is with some good reason, as I have been on a journey through the British countryside via Kenneth Grahame's "Wind In The Willows".

I've been directing and rehearsing a stage version of Grahame's tale for the 21st Annual Rose Center Summer Players production here in Morristown, which runs one weekend only for four performances July 27, 28 and 29 at Rose Center. This is the fifth summer in a row I have been fortunate enough to work with the production, which is an arts education program Rose Center runs each year, offering students a chance to learn and explore the theatrical world. And as before, I'm having a blast working with so many talented young actors.

The story - which has been shortened and Disney-fied over the years into "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" - is a fascinating and very funny adventure of some very proper British woodland creatures who go boating and picnicking on the Thames river - Rat, Mole, Badger and yes, Mr Toad, plus many rabbits, squirrels, hedgehogs and some villainous weasels.

The weasels are fierce bullies, who do eventually get what they deserve, and the young actors decided to make them look like greasers from the 1950s, all leather jackets and jeans, and they remind me of the gang of witless thugs led by Eric Von Zipper in all those early 60s beach movies.

In working with Grahame's book, I had to learn just what "bloater paste" is - and it doesn't sound too good. It's a fish paste, usually made from sardines, and in fact, as of 2012, there are no longer any makers of this dubious culinary delight in England. Bloater Paste is fast becoming a lost menu item (probably a good thing).

Punting, of course, is a bona fide British past time, which the young actors today simply giggle about. Punting is just fun to say, after all. 

In the course of the story, Mr Toad gets sent to jail for stealing cars and then escapes dressed as the jail's laundress. Yet when he describes his escape to his friends, he claims he transformed into a "glamorous blanchisseuse", and that sent all of us scrambling to figure out how to say and what it was. We learned that many of the world's most famous painters had made the lowly washerwoman, or laundress or blanchisseuse all subjects of paintings, such as Van Gogh and Lautrec. Who knew?

With opening night just a week away, I expect to have even less time to spend online, so please provide a bit of forgiveness for me. And for a mere five dollars, you can get a ticket to the show too, and join in the wild world of Pastes, Punting and Laundry.

Zombie Theme Parks and Country Music Zombie Ballads

Walking dead folks are quite popular - so popular that they could bring a wave of economic booms and boomlets.

One developer in Detroit is pushing hard to let the city fathers sell off some 200 acres of the more derelict sections of the city to build Z World Detroit -- a zombie-infested theme park. While his fundraising is pretty low so far, but the final outcome might just be that one day you and the family can trek to the Motor City and flee and fight zombies. The LA Times has more on the story.

The official website for Z World Detroit offers t-shirts, buttons and fun drawings like these via this promo video:

But what about the fans of country music with earnest singer-songwriter aspirations who also have zombies on their mind?

Then meet Amanda Richards, who has a new record out, a 'concept album' about the plaintive tunes of the last lone survivor of the Zombie Apocalypse called "Play Dead". Richards says her music is from the perspective of " ... a collection of old-school country songs about the zombie apocalypse written from the perspective of the soon-to-be last person on Earth who happens to be a country singer and a feminist.  The songs span nearly the entire history of country music: from boot-stomping old-timey banjo tunes to classic he-done-me-wrong ballads; endearing melodies sung with charm and poise countered by gory apocalyptic themes."

Songs include:

"Don't Leave Your Woman (When There's Walking Dead)" 
and
"Undead In My Bed"