Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Canned Jellied Cranberry Nightmare

It tends to ooze and slide out of the can and land on the plate making a horrible Splorp! sound. It tends to be marked with indelible ringed impressions which uncomfortably resemble the contents of a can of Old Roy dog food. And if it is called "sauce" it should never stand vertically like that on a plate.

The cranberry deserves far better treatment.

Besides, recent studies show that toxic chemicals accompany this alleged food item. So don't serve it or buy it, unless you only present it to the table as a form of inedible sculpture.

Merry Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Watery Definitions and Butt Enhancements

A brief look at stories stirring discussion across the web-world:

-- In Europe, a panel of experts has decided one cannot advertise that water can prevent dehydration - if, of course, you define dehydration as a "disease", then, "A meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy, concluded that reduced water content in the body was a symptom of dehydration and not something that drinking water could subsequently control."

-- It's worth noting the different tactics employed against protesters - hands off policies in place when folks tote guns to protest rallies versus aggressive "non-lethal" assaults on peaceful, non-gun-toting protesters. Also notable - we have very steadily adopted the notion that government permits are needed in order to exercise our rights to voice opinions via a protest.

-- One wonders why aggressive enforcement of banking and financial regulations were not immediately applied to halt bogus and conflated schemes for making money as quickly as authorities were called in to remove tents, sleeping bags, and peaceful protesters from public spaces. Which of the above actions constitute the greatest threat to public safety?

-- Despite the spread of national and international protests and concerns over financial management (or mismanagement) in government, Republicans in Congress remain locked up solid against improvements to the economy, even the improvements they vowed to provide. "Republicans, in effect, said in August, “If we fail, we’ll accept these cuts we don’t want.” The same Republicans, in effect, are now saying, “It turns out, we don’t like our idea anymore. ... In the bigger picture, Republicans were never working in good faith. Even putting aside the inherently disgusting debt-ceiling crisis they created over the summer, GOP officials were willing to offer the defense-cut trigger precisely because they knew they’d try to kill it after the super-committee inevitably failed."

-- If this is the non-doctor person you decided to visit to get "butt enhancement" injections -

Then don't be surprised the shot contains cement, super glue and tire sealant.