Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Frightmare Manor 2012 Set To Open

"Now, clear your minds. It knows what scares you. It has from the very beginning. Don't give it any help, it knows too much already."

Terror comes back to town as Frightmare Manor opens on Sept. 21, kicking off another unforgettable Halloween season at their 4-Attraction Scream Park.

Voted the Number One Haunted Attraction by WBIR-TV in 2009, 2010 and 2011, smart money says they'll capture that title again for 2012. An army of creative folk, ghouls, zombies and just plain gruesome ghosts are planning now to scare you witless.

As I have for the past few years, once again I too am your unofficial Blogging Host and Guide to Frightmare Manor. Chris Wooden, the owner and creator of this unique attraction, along with a dedicated crew, work year-round to make Frightmare a must-see event.

The Attractions include Frightmare Manor, Frightmare Backwoods, Frightmare Carnivore and the world-famous (or infamous) Nightmare at Frightmare Challenge - if you can endure all four attractions on one visit, you can get your admission price back.

Some details and a behind-the-scenes peek for the 2011 event can be found here, especially regarding the haunted history of the location and the notorious tale of the site's ghostly inspiration, Jeremiah Lexer:

"Jeremiah Lexer was the original property owner of this entire plantation around the turn of the 18th century. The past 2 years we have focused on more recent, controversial events surrounding the 2001 closing of the
successful restaurant on this property. Over the past year, we have dug into the record books and unearthed a lot of forgotten (or hidden) information about Jeremiah Lexer and his original homestead. We believe
Haunted House customers want to experience TRUE TERROR. Because of this, Frightmare Manor will remain at the old Jeremiah Lexer Plantation. We will continue to learn and share with our customers the evidence over the next few years."

Frightmare Manor also has a Facebook page you should check out, as they offer free tickets and major discounts on VIP packages too, plus it's one of the best ways to keep up with all the latest news and information.

Their main website has all the info you need to order tickets and their full calendar of events for 2012. They'll be open on weekends in September, starting on the 21st. And I'll have more exclusive reports and information to share with you as their new season unfolds. 

Can you take the Frightmare Challenge?

Monday, September 10, 2012

More Great Moments in Writing

Great writing is flourishing in the comments section of Amazon (as I've recently noted). Today's example comes via the hundreds of  'reviews' of a BIC ink pen ''designed for her":

"I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks."


"Normally my hand writing is defined and strong, as if chiselled in granite by the Greek gods themselves, however upon signing my name I noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and looping. More worryingly the dots above the I's manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses. Obviously I had no choice but to challenge the delivery man to a gun fight on the rim of an erupting volcano in order to reassert my dominance. Had I not won this honourable duel this particular mistake might have resulted in a situation that no amount of expensive single malt whiskey and Cuban cigars could banish. I leave this review here as a warning to all men about the dangers of using this particular device, and suffice-it-to-say will return to signing my name with a nail gun as normal."


"Gone are the days when I had to wrap my delicate lady hands around an ugly man pen to write my recipes and devotional love poems to men. Now I can commit myself to writing to do lists with an oh-so-soft grip between the frail appendages that - were they stronger - could be called fingers."