Yes, it's that time again - craft your best caption for the photo above and you too can be a WINNER!
What will you win? A giant heapin' helpin' of my love and devotion, that's what. Not too shabby. (And of course, you'll receive the satisfaction of a job well done!!)
A caption to get you started --
"Say Mayan Apocalypse one more time, and there will be something way worse than coal in yer stocking."
It was quite flattering to be called out by Mr. Silence for my absence over the past month - it is good to be missed. So thank you.
It has certainly been a busy summer of news, grievous idiocy, botched governmental and social tomfoolery and more as the nation ponders presidential elections and witnesses the near witless fumbles of the old-fashioned media folks assigned to collect and share the national news.
A few random observations for you -
-- Here in my humble community - as in many others - I cringed when I saw the middle-school level of headlines and reporting following, for instance, the horrible massacre in Colorado at a showing of the newest Batman movie, "The Dark Knight Rises" -- the headline?
My local paper had a picture of the theater where the events took place with a two-word headline: "Dark Night" -- had such a headline been presented in a freshman newspaper class, it would have gotten an F grade and a note that said "Tacky and Shameful". Sadly, so many other newspapers and newscasters said the same thing. Mass murders and tasteless witty puns do not go together. Yeesh.
-- A research scientist in Stockholm was jealous when he assumed his wife kissed another man, so he cut off her lip and ate it. He told the press: "I got the idea spontaneously. I thought, 'I'll get rid of it. I'm a
man of science, I have a very high IQ. I have the ability to solve
problems in a second'."
-- On a more positive note- a professional hula hooper performs for the crowd on how to hula hoop, pour a glass of wine and drink it while hooping - God bless the Internet -
Each year thousands of new bills get submitted to the state and federal legislatures, with little to slow their apparently infinite growth. Outrage has been hot on the heels of many bills, as claims are made that they emerge from faceless bloated lobbyists and organizations whose true goals seem impossible to define.
And, more and more, these bills define regulations over every aspect of our lives, often demanding that citizens of our great nation and/or state must perform various tasks prior to attaining approvals, benefits, licenses, etc etc.
But what task do we, as citizens, require of our representatives before they submit a bill, whether it was given to them to submit or they crafted it all by themselves? Wouldn't it be a good idea to demand some kind of proof of personal sacrifice or commitment?
Well, I have a suggestion.
I happened across a semi-popular bit of behavior which I think we should adopt as a requirement before any bill could be submitted - it's called The Cinnamon Challenge.
This challenge began to appear online in 2001, and videos soon followed.
The Cinnamon Challenge: a person must consume one tablespoon of cinnamon without spitting it out or vomiting. If a representative can do this, then their bill can then be submitted and undergo the usual process of approval or rejection. I would also add that every attempt at mastering the Challenge be videotaped and uploaded to YouTube. In fact, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn recently took the challenge and passed it just fine - so it is not impossible to master this challenge ... or is it?
Here's a sample of videos of average American folks attempting the challenge:
A semi-popular comedienne named GloZell recently tried it (with appropriately wacky results):
So there's my idea - fail the Cinnamon Challenge and your bill fails. Pass it, and then the legislature can consider the bill. I'm betting it would reduce needless bill activity by a significant margin. For those that succeed, we have proof the representative really, truly cares about the legislation.
I'll hand it to Knoxville Sen. Stacey Campfield -- he do love to make headlines, even ones that make him look like a high-level chucklehead (see The Daily Show). (And for the record, Stupid does not adhere to state boundaries.)
But now The Senator offers a state-mandated, nanny-government rule which would force public schools to make students get pre-approval from parents for any extra-curricular activities of clubs and organizations. Hopefully, despite the intrusion of the State Overlords, most all parents kinda sorta know what kinds of clubs and groups their children take part in - just ask most any parent and they'll tell you the long list of locations and activities they drive their children to and from.
But Big-Government, You-Need-Help-Parenting The-Sen.-Campfield apparently is utterly unaware of such familial behavior.
And really, should it not be the local school boards which set the standards for student organizations and parental notifications? And don't they do that already??
I'd hate to think students will be forced into top-secret, underground groups and confederations. Who knows, though, maybe Sen. Campfield could start one of his own ...
- Singer Billy Ray Cyrus tells GQ magazine that the Hannah Montana Show "destroyed his family". Yet another case of how television, music, fame, wealth, dual and triple identities, divorce, success, and friends will eat your goodness.
A company will allow you the chance to buy some Star Wars Perfume so you could smell like Princess Leia (slave princess that is) or you could go for the Eau Lando Cologne and smell like Lando - it even has it's own cape.
Apparently, a common thread to the Miss Universe competition is a parade of contestants wearing dresses designed to represent their home nations. Looks like Switzerland is ready to stop being neutral: And I'll let the ... um ... "fabulous bloggers" at Tom and Lorenzo provide their own caption below for the ... dress?? worn by Miss USA, Rima Fakih:
"Stone and Co., which describes Loving Levi as a "real inside look into who he is as a father, a skilled hunter, an avid dirt biker, and his journey down the road of small-town politics... right after he gets his high school diploma," has already started shooting the pilot, according to Variety.
And though Johnston didn't look as if he was kicking off a political campaign last night at the 2010 Teen Choice Awards, he says that he will fulfill his duties as mayor if elected.
"It's hard to figure me out," he said. "You've got to follow me around. I'm very different. I lead a crazy life. But it will basically be both worlds, my life in Hollywood and back home, the real country boy that I am."
Well, you don't have to follow him around, but apparently somebody's going to.
The 22-year-old father of one ... said that he and Bristol were indeed looking for the right reality-show opportunity during the brief time they were back together, but that they "weren't thrilled with any of the ideas. We got a lot of offers. But the fact is we didn't want to do it."
Too bad "Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island" are off the air ... but I'm kinda thinking none of the PTCEM crew knows that. Or maybe they just think they are all on both shows now.
So is there some new thang where the boot scootin' dancers decide to go all crunk to a Brad Paisley hit?? I did not know that. I was hoping for maybe a Bus Driver or a Sprinkler move at least.
I often wonder about the things I'm wondering about in the world around me. Much of these concerns could likely just be labeled "worrying", which is a sort of old-fashioned phrase for "anxiety attacks."
Here in the modern now-a-go-go times, many achieving Americans would advise me to drop the worries, make sure I carve out a long-lasting and hefty slice of the American Dream pie and "worry" about keeping that safe.
And there are surely times I wish I could do just that - buffered by a large enough slice, I could let everyone else figure it out for themselves, bask in my domain and revel in whatever it is large slice owners revel in.
All of which directly affects this blog and what appears in it. Who wants to read droning dreads and worries of corruption, greed, disaster, politics, etc etc? I might spend some time reading of such things, but repeating it for you, dear reader, could be most tiresome. Negativity begets itself.
Since day one of this blog, I have included this sub-title under the main - "Being an American requires constant vigilance". It's a warping of another far more famous comment often attributed to Thomas Jefferson - "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance" - but Jefferson never said such a thing.
It was instead an Irish lawyer and politician named John Philpot Curan who said "It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt." As a writer and wordsmith of some leisure, one must dig into words and their origins and meanings, so it is worth noting a few things ... "Vigilant" is taken from the Latin "vigilāre" which means "to be watchful". But one the addition of one letter, the seemingly keen "vigilant" becomes the criminal act of one who is a "vigilante".
Curan, as the above link details, had a rather troubled and complicated life for his tireless devotion to principle and a refusal to compromise and was prone to dueling. Perhaps it is the condition of those who hold fast to principle to venture into troubled waters.
That all said as a forward and preamble for what follows as the actual topic of today's blog post - which is that much of what we do as individuals arises from our families, those we are born with and those we create for ourselves. And really, even that is not the actual point here today - it's that blogging and the internet offers far more than dreads and dire warnings, or at the least, they offer us some humor and less serious (far less serious) considerations too.
Today's Google Trends note that searches for "awkward family photos" are pretty huge. That's because the long-running blog of the same name has now been collected into book form for consumers and has already landed on best-seller lists.
Times are bad - no one ever thought West Virginia or Guam would be a vital part in becoming president. The price of everything is higher than boat dock gas. Take a break, people.
The Nominee (Not An Actual Photo of Sen. Campy)
EAT IT, WORLD! IN AMERICA, OUR STRIPPERS CAN FLY!
