Odd Christmas Toys 2006

Forgive my time traveling nostalgia for Christmas Past. I know I'm a few years older than dirt and the toys I desired, even lusted for, when I was a boy were likely to be composed of only two elements: plastic and my imagination.

I do remember the time a friend's older brother one post-unwrapping day brought out an amazing gift he had received. It was the holy of holies It was James Bond's attache case based on the "From Russia With Love" movie. It had the hidden dagger, pistol with barrel extension and stock and silencer, passport, code book, money and even business cards. It sold for around 20 bucks.

Here in 2006, you can get a "new" version of the case for ... wait for it ... $4300. It comes with a Vaio TX Notebook, and various digital goodies. Can't be a spy without the digital toys. (And yes, I marvel at the Bond video game of the entire movie "From Russia With Love" available now. But the comingling of Bond and Barbie is just wrong.)

Way back in the ancient times of my own childhood, I lived in a town so small that toys were available at a dry goods store, or in a teeny section of four-aisled grocery store. And we aren't talking depression era days here. Still, since I was barely eyeball-high to the counter at the dry goods store, I took more pleasure than most could imagine scanning the bins of green army soldiers, red and yellow and blue Indians and Cowboys, and for the hi-tech kids, there was a Hot Wheels section with lengths of plastic track which could create the physics-defying looped section. If memory serves, after about an hour of hurling the wee plastic cars down the ramps, we dismantled the track and used the pieces as swords and smacked the crap out of each other.

Good times.

The knowledge needed here in 2006 for most-popular toys and the amount of money needed just zaps my time-addled brain. And truly, some of the stuff out there is just plain freaky.

Take a look at the kid's tattoo parlor playset. Yeah, kids can now pretend to be practioners of body modification with a toy tattoo gun. And who doesn't yearn for their kid to wear a camo cap backwards?

Maybe you can find a Home Mullet Salon playset for the kids too.







Then there's the most curious looking Dora toy. Kids are never too young to think in Freudian imagery I guess.








For the 0ver-18 game and toy lovers, I'm sure Honky Tonk Homicide, a redneck murder mystery dinner party, is gobs of fun. Marks the first time I've ever seen the words "redneck" and "dinner party" used in conjunction.

Camera Obscura - Faulkner's Vampire; Bond's Revival

A full length screenplay by William Faulkner was discovered a few years ago which is his only unproduced and still complete screenplay. And it's a vampire movie.

Lee Caplin found the script some years back, and is now pitching the project around Hollywood. The original was set in an unnamed Eastern Europe location, but the idea now is to set it in the Deep South. More details can be found at this link.

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This weekend also brings the return on the creation of writer Ian Fleming, a somewhat violent and eccentric spy named James Bond. The actor in the lead is Daniel Craig - a fine choice given his acting chops in movies like the Tarantino-like crime thriller "Layer Cake." And the story this time is based -- make that loosely based -- on the novel "Casino Royale."

Observers have cheered the movie for closely following Fleming's story ... but there are some significant alterations which make me irritable. The novel - and Bond's assignment - are quite specific. He is sent to challenge another spy/terrorist who goes by the name Le Chiffre in Monte Carlo at the baccarat table. Yet the movie changes the game to a high stakes Texas Hold-Em game.

Sorry, but Bond playing Texas Hold-Em is like Bond chugging a bottle of wine while eating a double bacon cheeseburger. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Fleming's books are tight and compact thrillers, barely 200 pages each. Bond is brutal, yes, and something of a loose cannon. And there has only been one occurrence by my reckoning of the movies following the books closely and that's the first film, "Dr. No."

Don't get me wrong - I like the Bond films, with the exceptions of those with Roger Moore who is more Austin Powers than James Bond. And one I like very much is "You Only Live Twice" yet ever since that film, producers have crafted a series of wildly improbable stunts and goofy gadgets and clever title songs. Fleming's stories for the most part were abandoned.

I plan to see this new Bond within the next few days, but smart money says the most faithful presentation of Fleming's work can be found in "Dr. No."

A side note: the trippy weird version of "Casino Royale" from the 1960s is entertaining as a time capsule only, but a bitter rivalry between actors takes place between Peter Sellers (as Bond) and Orson Welles (as Le Chiffre). The refused to be on set together and each shot their "confrontation" separately and film editors had to do the rest.

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Every movie trailer you can think of for upcoming films is here. Be prepared to spend quite a bit of time saying things like "oooh!! this looks great" and "awww, yer kidding me!"

Speechless

Grim news today from Oak Ridge blogger AT, about his wife who has been so critically ill.

I offer my deepest sympathies to AT and his family, as do so many thousands of others who have been reading AT's accounts of what has been happening for the last few weeks.

Her illness arrived without warning and has been truly devastating. None of it seems fair or right

Words seem a feeble thing right now.

But the hopes and wishes and prayers from so many, I trust, do offer a sense that this troubled time is being shared by friends and strangers alike. We all send you and your family much love and concern.

UPDATE: A memorial fund has been set up for the Atomic Tumor family. To donate, send a check to: Barbara J. Kilpatrick Memorial Fund C/O ORNL Federal Credit Union P.O.Box 365 Oak Ridge, TN 37831.

Carmina Burana on Banjo?

I know the first time I heard the music from the Carmina Burana Fantasy it was in the 1981 movie "Excalibur." I quoted the lines from that movie for days and weeks, but it was the rousing score of the music I recall the most.

It's been a part of many movies - the opening scene to "Jackass: The Movie", "Natural Born Killers," and even in "South Park".

It's been used to sell products like Old Spice, Reebok, Pringles and Volkswagen.

But I've never heard it the way banjo player Sandy Bull has put it together.

Mayor Injured, Bear Killed

I'm not sure if it's something in the air or what. Tennessee officials are packing some heat and they aren't afraid to use it.

Seems that elected officials are not to be messed with. First we had Knox County Commissioner "Lumpy" taking down an would-be robber, (and be sure to check out the accused's MySpace page).

Then State Senator Tim Burchett says he caught a group of youngsters during a break-in and held them at gunpoint, though he did offer them chocolate chip cookies.

And Cocke County Mayor Iliff McMahan, out on a bear hunt on Monday, fell and injured his leg and was somehow still able to take out a bear. The Newport Plain Talk reports:

"The next thing I knew, there was something big and black coming at me. I said, 'Oh heck,' and shot the bear twice, killing the animal as it was about 10 feet away." McMahan, who says he is not a big hunter, said the 337-pound black bear was easily the largest bear he had shot. The mayor had to basically crawl his way out of the woods since the other members had to tend to the dogs and the dead bear who were shot by the club on Monday. Negotiations are under way in the McMahan household as to the final resting place for the prize hunting trophy."

Horrorfest Lands In East Tennessee

A weekend of macabre movies arrives this coming weekend - and the shocking truth that the mini-festival of horrors is playing in Morristown is .... did I say shocking? Well, that's me. Shocked and awed. Score two points (or is it eight?) as the After Dark Horrorfest: 8 Films To Die For will be presented at Paradigm Cinemas.

Part of me is convinced not all 8 films will be here, or that the showtimes won't allow me to see all of them, or some bad thing will happen to otherwise shortchange this horror fan. The fest is marketed as a collection of movies too graphic and ghoulish and disturbing for general audiences, but hey, they are being released to theatres and not right to DVD.

The movies are playing all over the state and the nation. For a full list of theatres and movies, you can check out the official website. Apparently no bulk tickets to all the movies are available, you'll have to pay for each one. Suck.

The movies are a broad mix of low budgets and large, some stars are featured, many are newcomers. How broad is the range? Well, there's the new movie from J-Horror icon, Takashi Shimizu, who created the "Grudge" series and a new funny/scary flick called Snoop Dog's Hood of Horror.

You can go to this YouTube link for a page with a preview to each of the movies. Previews are also on the Horrorfest web page

The Paradigm Cinemas website is here, but sorry, no tickets online.

Otherwise, please allow me to say "Woot!!"

Tax Relief for Elderly A Tall Order

Voters across the state said Yes in huge numbers to allowing for a change in the tax laws and provide some limits for senior citizens regarding property taxes. Today's Tennessean editorial on the topic says Nashville should lead the way in this change:

"So it is not surprising that (Mayor Bill) Purcell would react quickly to the opportunity again to support such relief. In his letter to council members last week, Purcell described the effort as a way to help seniors "live out their lives in dignity in the homes where they raised their families and created the neighborhoods that bind our city together."

As lawmakers consider tax relief for seniors, which is highly popular, they must do so with the knowledge that it will mean other sources of revenue will have to bear more of the burden. Few people will argue with property tax relief for the elderly, but the trick will be in finding ways to make up the difference. So the effort must be handled carefully."

The devil is truly in the details for this measure.

The approved amendment states that cities and counties can enact the change, which could easily create mass confusion - what if the state's 95 counties create 95 different changes in the tax structure? And if cities can likewise draft their own laws, how many different tax laws will be created?

The approved amendment states that cities and counties can enact the change, which could easily create mass confusion - what if the state's 95 counties create 95 different changes in the tax structure? And if cities can likewise draft their own laws, how many different tax laws will be created? And as I understand the change, the General Assembly must first decide how much senior citizens can earn to even be eligible for a tax freeze.

The fact is no county or city is obligated to enact any changes. State agencies which advise cities and counties are certain to push for uniform laws, but the state's communities seldom act in agreement on anything.

This was a poorly conceived amendment, requiring zero compliance. The ballots themselves had errors in the wording of the change and "corrections" to the ballot wording were nearly impossible to find on election day - the polling place I went to had voting machines on one side of the room and the corrected wording for the ballot measure were posted on the opposite side of that room. As I understood it, the change in wording was supposed to be posted on the voting machines. That just did not happen at each polling location.

The size of the senior citizen population nationwide is going to grow by huge numbers within the decade and those in charge of drafting future tax rates are keenly aware of the coming changes.

I would expect changes in tax rates will be very very slow to emerge. I'm sure special committees to investigate the issue will be created and their eventual reports will arrive in some distant future. Glaciers will move quicker than any change in the tax laws.

Keep The Watchdog Alive

An excellent example of bipartisan efforts working to the benefit of all taxpayers and to insure that reconstruction programs in Iraq are effective has been provided by Republican Senator Susan Collins and Democrat Senator Russ Feingold.

The lawmakers are intent on keeping alive the special Inspector General's program to track billions of dollars which Republicans in the House tried to kill. It makes no sense, as both senators argued today, to stop such a highly productive and much needed oversight program.

Sen. Collins says:

"We must keep the watchdog on the job," Collins said. "It is inconceivable that we would remove this aggressive oversight while the American taxpayer is still spending billions of dollars on Iraq reconstruction projects.

The SIGR site details how vital their work has been, how much work remains and clearly deserves to be allowed to complete it's task. Only those seeking to defraud taxpayers would want to see this program end.

But You've Been Murdered!!

Not a good day when you're lying handcuffed on the deck of your own home and deputies tell you that you've been murdered.

Yet, that's what happened according to one Cocke County couple, who have filed a $12 million lawsuit against the deputies and the sheriff's department. They also state in their lawsuit that officers provided no warrant either.

The press report also has fascinating details of the suit:

"The Lovells allege in their lawsuit that Cocke County Sheriff's Dep. David Parton, Sgt. Armando Fontes, and Lt. Doug Atkins attempted to use a large landscape timber to break down the door to their residence, located at 180 Solitaire Way, then entered the residence with guns drawn, including an assault rifle. The lawsuit contends that the Lovells were forced to lie on the front deck, while scantily clad, and that Jean Lovell was tackled and handled roughly by Fontes in the process. The Lovells also contend that, when they asked why the action was being taken, Jean Lovell was told that, "You're the one who was supposed to have been murdered ...."
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"Alternatively, if there existed a valid reason to search for a victim and/or a perpetrator, it is shown to the court that the alleged victim and/or perpetrator were not of a size sufficient that they could fit inside a kitchen drawer, or a bathroom drawer, or a drawer in a piece of furniture. "In short, there was no valid reason to rummage through plaintiffs' personal effects," stated the lawsuit."

I suppose saying "I'm not dead!!" just isn't proof.

UPDATE: I mentioned it in the comments section in this post, but here is the link to the LA Times story on Cocke County, which, naturally, local officials did not look kindly on.

PS3 vs Wii vs XBox 360

The real battle for the next few months won't just be a policy debate in Washington, DC.

From coast to coast and around the world, the battle is about to begin for the minds of young and old alike as crazed consumers begin measuring the wins and losses between the three new videogame consoles - PlayStation 3, Wii and XBox 360. Billions of dollars are at stake.

I know in the gaming community I'm about three days older than dirt. I got addicted early in life, using electronic stimulants like those found on a Commodore 64, the Atari system, and to further reveal my age ... pinball machines.

I still use my ever-reliable PS2, and yes, I'm still playing ancient games like HotShots Golf and Star Wars Battlefront. (I once considered including the fact that I completed God of War and Max Payne 1 and 2 on job applications under Accomplishments.) But, I faithfully watch the most important gaming overview show ever period and amen, and that's X-Play with Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb. I've suffered hand cramps and even missed work a few times lost in button-mashing madness, powered by Doritos and Mountain Dew. And yet I am fully aware that on the Gamers Scale, I barely rate a 3 out of 10 for hip and ultimate gamer.

With Christmas approaching, the stores will be feverishly attempting to keep these competing consoles stocked. But which to buy??

Engadget has an exhaustive round-up of the pros and cons on each system.

And while I really enjoy PlayStation most, I am fascinated by the Wii - wireless controllers where arm and hand movements control the events in the game -- I say "Woot!!"

Come Take A Nashville Ride

You are invited to come join me as I guest blog at Nashville Is Talking this weekend.

Also, I will once again tomorrow offer up some free tickets to performances at the Comedy Festival being held next week in Las Vegas.

Check into Nashville Is Talking tomorrow morning for all the details and your chance to win.

Also, if you're a regular reader of my movie and entertainment posts on Fridays, you'll have to check out the Nashville blog for all the good stuff and the oddest entertainment news I can find. (Like that'll be tough to provide!!)

UPDATE: What is the connection between the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" and the NBC comedy "The Office"? You can find the answers in this post I just added to Nashville Is Talking.

Charges Sought Against Rumsfeld

I'm not sure the charges can stick, but since Donald Rumsfeld has resigned, he also loses immunity protections. However, I can't see the case proceeding very far. Still, a report in Time magazine says a case is moving through the legal system in Germany:

"Just days after his resignation, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is about to face more repercussions for his involvement in the troubled wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. New legal documents, to be filed next week with Germany's top prosecutor, will seek a criminal investigation and prosecution of Rumsfeld, along with Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, former CIA director George Tenet and other senior U.S. civilian and military officers, for their alleged roles in abuses committed at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison and at the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba."

Free Comedy Festival Tickets!

I have some free tickets for you to see performances at the Comedy Festival in Las Vegas for next week. That means several lucky readers will get a chance to see Bob Saget and Jamie Kennedy or Nick Cannon or Maxim's Real Men of Comedy. Truly and no joke.

The Comedy Festival website is here, presented by HBO and AEG Live, and there are tons of great acts ahead. Performers for the event, November 14-18 include Dane Cook, Chris Rock, Bill Maher, Dave Capelle, Damon Wayans, Jimmy Fallon and many many more.

If you want two tickets to Saget and Kennedy or Maxim's event - be one of first two people to respond ASAP in the comments. Include an email address to win!!

These tickets are flying fast! Act immediately to win!! Contest here closes at 5 pm EST.

UPDATE: Well the window of opportunity has closed!! Not takers of the freebies mean some other folks will have a chance at the tickets.

Conservative Comedy

Had to do a double take when Colbert collided with Limbaugh.

At least Colbert honestly creates satire.

Limbaugh creates ... well, ratings and money, yes. But satire appears often by nature of the double-sided blade of "truthiness" he flails around with in his ever-diminishing effort to entertain his true believers.

First, take a look at Limbaugh's attempt to get away from the Republican defeat on Tuesday:

"The way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried. Now, you might say, "Well, why have you been doing it?" Because the stakes are high! Even though the Republican Party let us down, to me they represent a far better future for my beliefs and therefore the country's than the Democrat [sic] Party does and liberalism."

Now, comedian Stephen Colbert:

"Tomorrow you'’re all going to wake up in a Brave New World, a world where the constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where Tax and Spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody'’s high!!! Whoo!!! I'’ve had it! You people don'’t deserve a Republican majority. Screw this, I quit!"

(hat tip to Liberadio)

For sheer lunacy, however, nobody can touch the witless drooling of Bill O'Reilly.

If I Can Dream

It's the right time for some Elvis.

Goodbye To All That?

A double smackdown for Vice President Cheney has brought quick changes following the elections - Rumsfeld is out as Secretary of Defense (smack one) and Robert Gates, longtime ally of the first President Bush is in (smack two).

While speaking boldly for Rumsfeld last week, the fact was changes were being prompted by the president and Cheney's views on leadership were being pushed aside by President Bush.

"But sources told NBC News’ military analyst Bill Arkin that prior to the election, Vice President Dick Cheney argued with other politicians over whether Rumsfeld should stay. White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten and others said Rumsfeld should be removed, the source said. Both sides agreed the decision would be made after the election, when Bush would make the final call based on how Republicans did.

According to the source, Bush agreed Rumsfeld should be removed after seeing election results favoring Democrats. Cheney then lost another argument, protesting Gates’ nomination as Rumsfeld’s replacement."

I say long overdue.

Next: will John Murtha be the new majority leader in the House?

Republicans Held Accountable

Time for a change. That's what voters across the country said in a majority of ballots. The shrill voices demonizing anyone not a Republican were provided a simple message yesterday - shut up.

It's always astounded me that Right Wing cheerleaders like Coulter and Limbaugh and Vice-President Cheney were never satisfied that Republicans held the majority at the Federal level. Any and all policy failures or personal doubts weren't their fault. It was the Evil Liberal, the Godless Democrat minority, the folk they would have us believe are secretly aiding terrorists.

With a clear voice the majority of Americans called "Bullshit" on all that.

Coulter must be a whirling dervish today to realize the first woman to reach the position of House speaker is not only a Democrat but a Liberal one. The Coulters and Malkins and the tiny echoes of blog-repeaters need to take stock and realize America rejects their whining.

Not only did the Democrats take a majority of seats in the House of Representatives, they did not lose any either. They took a majority of governor's races too, and again, did not lose any. And it appears the Democrats have just enough wins to take the Senate to a more balanced population, and again, lost no seats.

Blaming a non-existent, non-patriotic enemy is a fool's argument. Republicans did not just lose a campaign - they lost the confidence of America to be more ethical or moral, to shrink government intrusion into the private sector, to grow the economy for all citizens, to provide for the national security.

Six years into his presidency, George Bush has finally realized he should take time to meet with those who don't walk in lock-step agreement with him. After all, it was Bush himself who declared he was a Uniter and not a Divider. Time to pony up.

In Tennessee, the election of Bob Corker was no simple task. It was a squeaker of a victory. A few thousand votes could easily have gone the other way. The pressure is on now for him to provide leadership, not to rubber-stamp the party's wishes. Should he begin to drift into following the lobbyists and the party bosses, I'd expect he'll find himself out of office and out of favor with voters quickly.

Nationwide voters told the GOP they have been held accountable and found wanting.

Democrats and democrat leaders need to rise to this moment - correct the course.

Big Political Changes or None?

This year's election will certainly be the most live-blogged and internet active election in the nation's history. And history shows a fascinating look at the projected changes in party control of Congress. Read on for more on that.

For a nationwide review of what's happening at the polls and the outcomes of all elections in the country, a good place to watch will be at CQ Politics --

Many have proclaimed already the House will turn to Democrat leadership, but few foresee changes in the Senate. This state's Senate race may be the deciding election

The CQ writers did have a very interesting historical perspective on their site yesterday:

"Since 1914, there has never been an instance of the House changing hands without the Senate following. Such an event did happen following the 1910 elections, when many senators were still appointed by state legislatures. That year, Democrats gained 58 seats in the House, vaulting them into the majority. Republicans did lose seats in the Senate, but not enough for them to lose the majority in that chamber."

If I encounter anything worth writing about when I vote in an hour or so, I'll add it to the posts today.

The Million Dollar Referendum

Two voters will be one million dollars richer if a referendum passes in Arizona.

Now that's voter incentive!! Much better for the voter than say, the "bag-o-pork-rinds" you get for your vote in Appalachia.

Glenn Reynolds and others say this effort will just bring "stupid people" out to vote. How anyone can tell the difference between a stupid voter or non-stupid is puzzling to me.

While pundits have debated the issue, I would say voters will approve of this measure by a huge margin. Why indeed wait for some elusive outcome in the elections to provide a measurable benefit, when you can take a chance that your choice (no matter what it is) can make you an InstaMillionaire?

And does the "stupid people" reference indicate that some folks consider that some people need a 'stupidity test" in order to have the right to vote?

Then again, is voting so hateful and despised that a million dollar carrot has to be dangled out before you?

Arizona also has a referendum which if passed would require ballots be sent by mail to every eligible voter who could then vote by mail. And still someone in both primary and general elections will get the million clams.

Hmpf! In Tennessee, all we get is a non-binding referendum which allows for government to give property tax breaks to the elderly, with zero promise the government will actually create such a law. Oh and another stupid law (yes, I say there are only stupid acts of legislation, not stupid voters) to ban certain types of marriage even though we already HAVE a law banning certain types of marriage.

Yeesh. At least we could get a beer coupon or something.

UPDATE: The Arizona voters rejected the referendum and said no to a million dollar payoff. Whattaya know??

Send The Rubber-Stampers Home

If you are a voter who can't see the time is here to end the corruption and scandal in Congress, then no word or fact provided on this humble page will change your perspective. That's sad. Because we ignore such failings at the nation's peril.

I remain hopeful this election day will end with a majority of the leftover "Contract With America" Republicans going home again. I said when that idiotic pandering campaign of 1994 started that it was a sham and a shame. It has been both. Congress isn't able of structuring forced amendments to self-correct bad policy and corruption.

Voters do that.

To pretend otherwise is to pretend some party or some majority or some President has a supernatural ability to Always Be Right. And it is to pretend that your role as voter plays no important role. It does. Our country is not served best when voters are uninvolved, spun one way or another to assure party solidarity. Independence made this nation -- it remains as vital today that each of us holds Independence above Party Powers.

I know there are signs the GOP hold on the Congress is weak, and I truly hope the leadership changes. We have not been well represented by laws which insulate corporations from accountability, especially as the GOP leads efforts to privatize more and more government operations -- here's a fact for you: The government has not been "privatizing" it's responsibilities, it has been "corporatizing" them.

Billions in fraud and waste in Iraqi war operations alone have brought much pressure on corporations, thanks to a special committee created, despite much GOP opposition, to oversee the actions of corporate, no-bid contract winners. Sadly, that committee has just been eliminated by the Republican rubber-stampers, told how to act and how to vote by the Bush Administration. Why eliminate this committee? Not because they failed at their job -- but because they were successful.

To call out war profiteering for what it is has been the goal of a documentary film that should make every American furious and urge voters to change the leadership in Washington. Check out the Iraq For Sale Blog here, many clips from the movie are there, as well as the lies and deceits of companies who have been earning billions at the expense of continuing a badly executed military strategy. Robert Greenwald speaks about the "outing" of war profiteers:



To endorse the plan we've had is to endorse a long, drawn out but highly profitable war. Most real patriots simply feel ashamed when they see the facts. To blame a political party for the enemies' successes is to ignore the failures of the polices and strategies forced through a Congress which seldom cared if the ends justified the means. The fact is the "ends" have not materialized. And the "means" are dubious at best, criminal at worst.

Vote.

One Blogger Posts From Life and Death Struggle

However icy or "soggy-bottomed" your heart and soul might be, I dare you to take a few minutes and walk into the world of an East Tennessee blogger who has been posting about something amazing and terrifying - his 29-year-old wife's life and death struggle in the hospital, and his effort to somehow grasp what is happening and what might happen.

The events which have taken place over the course of a few days to blogger Atomic Tumor and his wife, who goes by the name Golden Apple Corp, will dwarf most any problem you have been having. To say it briefly, GAC became ill for some unknown reason and has remained critically ill. She remains so this morning. Many other bloggers in the state have already mentioned this, asking for your best thoughts and prayers and hopes.

I'll happily add my voice to theirs.

Even though AT and GAC and I have never met face to face, we are fine friends - that's what happens when you begin to make daily contact with someone who writes online about themselves and their thoughts. I may only visit online, but I stop there more than once a day, I add my comments, and I discover the world through the eyes of another person.

I know the pain and the worry and the fear devour whole galaxies of thought and emotion for families whose members fill hospitals across the world. These Oak Ridge folks are most fortunate they have many members of family and friends to help them now. But I also know it doesn't seem like Fortune is being their ally at this time.

It takes some kind of unknown ability to do what AT has been doing - not just the minute to minute and hour to hour courage to cope with a critical illness which has ravaged the one he loves - but to write about it so openly, so honestly and with such joy and pain, I know that takes something truly unique.

I've had to deal with it myself recently and here's what I learned: pouring your hurts into an online blog is beyond difficult. To do it at all, much less to do it well, that takes great strength.

You can begin the storyline here - from taking her to the hospital to AT's most recent post. I hope you take the time to read all of the posts of this dire event. That you meet them and their friends at Team AT - Bosphorus, Mrs. Eaves, and many others like me who stop and visit there.

What is being shared is rare and powerful and will take you straight into this struggle. You cannot emerge untouched. You'll meet some amazing people, and adding your hopes can only help.

A few excerpts from a variety of posts:

"She'’s responding again. She hasn'’t opened her eyes, but she squeezed my hand. She raised her eyebrows. She got onto me for self depreciating humor.

I no longer have any doubt that she'’s in there communicating with me. Well, not that I did, based on the last post, but things like this are so hard. I don'’t like not understanding things, and the world that she is in now I don'’t understand.

I hate to leave her. I hate to see her that way. God, I love her."
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"I want to tell you guys stories about her, about GAC, but I can'’t think of any. I want to say something that will touch you, something that will make you think of the person in your life, and how things happen out of nowhere, how tennis turns into praying for your wife'’s heathen soul to be allowed into heaven, because I can'’t bear the idea of being separated from her, and because I was sure that her end was imminent.

Guys, this is hard. I'’m too drained to think of any of these stories, and I really want to. I want to for myself.

And I want to cuddle her. I want to breath in the scent of her hair. I want to kiss the back of her neck, and tickle the tiny hairs back there. I want to rub her feet. I want to hear her voice."
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"At night, if GAC is sick, it gets a little worse. I hear thats normal, to some extent. Maybe the pull of the sun does something to our cells. I was outside earlier, looking at the sky, and the stars, and the significant things, and thinking about the cells in her body. Thinking about the world in her head. A world bigger than the sun, and the stars.

Somebody once told me that Stephen Hawking said that he believed when you die, you become as a god, because the energy that consciousness is turns inward, or something like that. Maybe it was that because of the whole matter/energy thing. I don'’t remember.

How many days can be like today? How many people go through this, silently, in the next car. When the world is normal, and you'’re worried about getting to work on time, or realized you forgot a dental appointment, or just mad at your wife for something stupid that you don'’t remember, how many people around you are feeling this?"

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"At night, when everybody else is asleep, I'’m going to let the gravity of this hit me, and I'’ll write posts like I did. Tonight I want to tell you how we met. I have a lot of stories, and I want to share them, if you'’ll listen. Or if not, don'’t really matter. I like writing.

Ironically, writing is easy. A few weeks ago I was in a bit of a funk, and couldn'’t write much. Now I can'’t stop my fingers."

"Thanks for being there. I can feel you, peering through the 1s and 0s into my grief and my terror.

GAC will read this, right?"

Again, I hope you take some time to read all of his posts and the comments from around the Web.

I hope most of all that GAC gets all her health and strength back soon, that she is in the arms of the man who loves her, surrounded by her children and her family and friends who value her above all the wealth in the world.

UPDATE: The latest post for this Monday morning is here. AT updates often , so please add your hopes and prayers just as often.

Haggard's 'Prick and Anguish'

As I told some friends recently, the only Haggard I have ever liked was named Merle.

So this Ted Haggard - a political evangelical who met with the President on Mondays to make sure the Conservatives had the votes from the megachurch madness crowd - is yet another gay-basher who is apparently gay. Or wrestling with the question of being gay or not, while campaigning the government for ways to stop gays from being married.

Yes, the jokes were all over the Web yesterday and will be for some time. In some of the back and forth laughter at a Fallen Neo-Con Angel, I made the comment that I think many church folk secretly wish for a flawed, hypocritical pastor. It humanizes the pastor and makes the membership rest a little easier with their own Sin.

Just recall the sexcapades of Bakker, Swaggart, etc etc.

And then I was presented this fine excerpt from Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter:

". . . the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale had achieved a brilliant popularity in his sacred office. He won it, indeed, in great part, by his sorrows. His . . . power of experiencing and communicating emotion, were kept in a state of preternatural activity by the prick and anguish of his daily life."

See, even the earliest Americans knew about the dangers of a political "moral majority" (which isn't either one).

Camera Obscura - Simspons Horror; Feast; Slither

Come this way, down thru the lowest section of the basement where the lights sputter and grow dim, the steps leading down turn slightly slimy and slippery, where the hand-rail disappears. It's all old down here and it's all new, too.

Shhhh .... don't be afraid. It is possible for just about anything to survive.

This is one of the oldest parts of the house, and I can often be found here, relaxing and watching movies. See, it's more dry here. There are some very comfortable chairs. What? Oh, no, don't worry about finding your way back. Sit, please, sit down. I have some leftover Halloween candy if you.... no?

We'll find our way back out soon enough.

Now let's see... ah yes, first at little comedy, a little laugh to put you more at ease, yes?

Sunday marks the 17th time that "The Simpsons" provides their annual Halloween "Treehouse of Horror" episode. Of course, due to football and baseball, this Halloween event usually takes place in November. Sort of spooky time-traveling, I suppose. This year offers you a chance to make a Simpsons video clip.

And you can win some prizes too - decide which clips to use, which sound effects and music to add at this site, where you can make your own Treehouse of Horror clip. Try it, you'll find out just how easy it is to make a little horror tale. Kang and Kodos will help you!

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A new movie is on DVD which was actually the third in the "Project Greenlight" series, a lame event meant to give new directors a chance to work their movie magic. Not one of them has done well, and this last one is easily the best of the bunch. It's a plain and simple horror genre movie called "Feast."

It almost plays out like a comedy/video game. The movie starts and you are introduced to the characters when the camera freezes on them, gives you some snarky titles cards with info on who they are and what their chances are of surviving this movie -- most fare quite badly in that category.

They are all in a run-down and seedy bar one night when two people rush inside, freaking out. They speak weird warnings of strange things attacking them. And then the 'things' attack. There are no real reasons offered as to what these things are, why the couple is being chased, what is happening at all -- characters are lined up and taken out in, as I said, a video game-style shootout. The filmmaking is very much on the cheap, so there are lots of Sam Raimi styled shaky camera shots and buckets of gore and blood.

The movie stars Balthazar Getty, Henry Rollins, Jason Mewes and Krista Allen.

Don't expect much, and you may just enjoy this one.
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Another new one for DVD has arrived as one of the best-reviewed films of the year and yes, of course, it is a grim and grisly gallows-humored entry called "Slither". How do I say this next part? How about this -- this is one of those movies where "people blow up real good."

A meteorite falls to other with a gooey thing inside of it. Director/writer James Gunn, who made the very fine remake of "Dawn of the Dead" has made an explosive (really) salute to B-movies and horror films from several decades. Actor Michael Rooker gets some kind of infected alien dart-dealie in his neck and turns murderous and ... horrifically obese.

Simple-minded folk face off against slugs by the thousands which turn everyone into zombiefied, tentacled and pregnant time-bombs. A little bit of "The Blob" and "Alien" and some of Cronenberg's cult-classic "They Came From Within" and again, buckets of gore and blood are here. Actor Nathan Fillion ("Firefly") takes the lead and has a great time as does the rest of the cast.

"Don't let 'em in yer mouth!!"
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What? You want to leave?

Okay by me. You can find your own way out, can't you? I've got a few more movies to watch here. I hope you don't mind making your own way back.

Here, take this before you leave -- it's a little preview of a movie called "The Invisible." It's by David Goyer ("Blade", "Batman Begins") and the producers of "The Sixth Sense." Just a little ghost story. I do like the main character's name.

You be careful and I'll see you again.

Soon.

UPDATE: Told you I'd be back!

I was just reading a story that Newscoma had on her blog about asshat Bill O'Reilly trying to use the popularity of a horror movie like the "Saw" series to boost his over-inflated ego.

Check out her post here and you can also read the thoughts I had about the story on her comments. I'm not giving the asshat the satisfaction of saying what I think twice. Plus, Newscoma has a great photo from the horror movie "The Head That Would Not Die" which you should see.

Six Words Make Science Fiction Story

Wired magazine puts together an impressive collection of short stories -- very short stories. All six words long. All science fiction. I sent this to some friends via email, but thought, why not share it here too?

Some samples and their authors:

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
- William Gibson

Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
- Neal Stephenson

Read the whole collection here. (And be sure to read the six-word Hemingway story mentioned in the article.)

Nielsens Say GOP Dominates Internet

The ratings company used to gauge television is now examining the internet and their report from yesterday says Republicans dominate the online community - declaring that of all those online, 36.6 percent are Republican, 30.8 percent are Democrats and 17.3 percent Independents.

More on the issue of Nielsen ratings for online users in a moment - first, though, whatever the report may declare I see something much different. Their own numbers show 48.1 percent of those online are not Republicans. And yet add all the politicized numbers of adults online and you get a total of 84.7 percent. That leaves 15.3 percent.

More number fun -- add 15.3 percent to the 48.1 percent not Republican and you have 63.4 percent. So the Nielsen headline is "Republicans Outnumber Democrats Online." True, but non-Republicans outnumber the GOP 63.4 percent to 36.6 percent.

I loved this paragraph in the report:

" Perhaps contrary to assumptions about who's a Democrat and who's a Republican, neither party seemed to favor a particular gender or age group. Among racial groups, African Americans skewed Democratic; with a composition index of 231, they were over twice as likely to be Democratic as the average Web user. Asians were 36 percent more likely than the average Web user to be Democratic, and Hispanics were 28 percent more likely. White people were slightly more likely to be Republican."

If asked, I would respond that I am an Independent - I don't belong to a Party. I do know the Party that has controlled the House and Senate for the last 12 years and all 3 branches of government for the last 6 years have failed at the job of representation. I've not seen the country this forced into divisive camps since about 1968 when American cities were on fire and assassinations were all over the news.

As for politicizing the Internet, I told a friend recently what I enjoyed most on the Web were all the varied political opinions and expressions being presented. For the first time in my lifetime, I can see/read/hear opinion that is not filtered through television or radio programming distortions or newspaper control of information.

And I think that scares the bejesus out of media conglomerates and government. Free expression is a wild and untamed thing, but without it this is not truly a free country. It's a controlled and caged beast looking for ways to run free again.

My friend reminded me of the early days of our nation, when "pamphleteers" shared information about the world and the events around us. Men like Thomas Paine, and yes, there is a website named for him which I often read and urge others to do as well.

And just this week, the Pentagon announced they are working 24-7 to observe and create information for the internet:

"The Pentagon press secretary, Eric Ruff, says part of the new effort will focus on getting the Defense Department'’s viewpoint into new media, such as Internet blogs and podcasts, and also to provide department officials for more radio and television programs. At a briefing, he denied a reporter'’s suggestion that the department is trying to go around reporters for major news organizations who cover the Pentagon on a regular basis."

So there is much emphasis for the Nielsen Media Reasearch Company to corral the World Wild Web -- control is the goal, not observation. Make no mistake, the web is a media that is manipulated -- but almost anyone can do it, you don't have to be a publisher or a broadcaster. You just need a computer and an internet connection and you're off to pretty much define your own worldview.

Tens of thousands of Bloggers are daily and hourly providing information, opinion and debate. I think an America with literate and computer literate writers have already helped improve our country and that should be allowed to flourish and grow and not be subjected to the needs of any one or half-dozen media manipulators.

Having started web surfing in 1992 and working on this wee page for some 15 months, I have barely scratched the surface of all that is possible, seen only an infinitely small portion of the immense world of wired residents. I'm very much a clumsy infant in this world, but for the most part, I still am allowed the freedom to explore as I wish.

Write like ya mean it. It is a rare time and who knows how long it will run free?

Praying For A Senate Seat

Laura Bush campaigned for Bob Corker in Kingsport this week and spoke in glowing generalized terms of what a fine Senator he would be. Given the event was held on very GOP-friendly ground, nothing need be said to convince anyone to vote for Corker -- it was more of a photo op and fundraising event. Ford has had his events as well.

But this comment from Corker in the Kingsport-Times News report did get my attention:

"The FEC (Federal Election Commission) makes you say that thing ‘I'm Bob Corker, and I approved this message.'" Corker told Republicans. "In fact what I'm hearing all across the state of Tennessee is that parents and grandparents tell me they will ask Johnny or Sally or whoever the young person is to say the blessing. They will say ‘Please bless this food. Please bless our family. Please keep us safe and secure. (Then they will say) I'm Bob Corker, and I approved this message.'"

Perhaps the kids have a better handle on government and religion than given credit for.

And as Tom Humphrey noted, Corker says he's been praying a lot.

"Corker also stopped in Wilson County, just east of Nashville, to support an elementary school that faces a lawsuit for allowing a group called Praying Parents to meet there.

"I think any school would be so pleased to have parents who gather once a month - not in the presence of students - praying to give the faculty and students strength and guidance," Corker said.

"We all know the strength that comes from prayer; I pray 10-12 times a day on the campaign trail," Corker said.

At the time Corker met with that group, Ford was holding a meeting with "Faith Night At The Polls."

I suppose it's time to tweak to the old adage - "There are no atheists in voting booths".

Military Standards for Service Lower Than Ever

So just how miniscule and short is the attention of the national press? The hysteria over what Senator Kerry said about being "stuck in Iraq" is getting more press than the war itself. I expect the knee-jerk reactions of ReBlogLicans to squeal out in angry agony.

However --

Last week, the press and even the military itself, was expressing grave concerns over the lowering of standards used to reach military recruitment goals. Here's an article from The Marine Corps Times:

"They’re meeting their numbers in the short term, but doing it in a way that doesn’t bode well for the future,” said Peter Singer, a senior fellow in foreign policy at the Brookings Institution, an independent research and policy institute.

“They’re lowering their requirements and taking in a greater number of people who would not have made the cut previously,” such as CAT IVs, Singer said.

CAT IVs are potential enlistees who have earned the lowest scores on the aptitude test.

“Studies show that CAT IVs don’t make as good a soldier,” said Singer. They have a harder time shooting straight and succeeding at complicated tasks, he said.

“These are the folks who tend to get into more trouble, as well,” he said. “Pvt. Steven Green is the best example.”

Green, along with four other soldiers, is in federal prison for allegedly raping and killing a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killing three of her family members. He was a high school dropout with behavioral problems and run-ins with law enforcement before he enlisted in the Army.

“This is a kid who would’ve washed out in the past under the old standards. That raises some concerns.”

Singer said “the wash out” rate for basic training in 2005 was 18.1 percent. In 2006, it dropped to 7.6 percent. That means roughly 10 percent of people who would have washed out before are now in the military, he said.

“The Army also doubled the numbers of non-high school graduates it took this year,” he said.

And the military isn’t just lowering standards, he said.

“They’re dumping an enormous amount of resources and manpower into recruiting. They’re making a greater effort, lowering standards and they’re still just eking it out.”

Marshall, the local Marine Corps recruiting station commander, said his branch is as exclusive as it’s always been.

“We haven’t lowered our ASVAB standards or increased our age limit to foster numbers like the Army has,” he said, as eager teens ran through obstacle course stations around him. “We don’t sell technical skills or college funds — we sell the opportunity to be a Marine.”

However, he did admit concern about the overall quality of the military.

“The lowering of standards is going to lead to a long-term problem in terms of leadership and understanding the mission,” he said. “If you got someone who scored a 21 on the ASVAB, how can he understand our technical manuals or the mission from the commander? We don’t write it in fifth-grade English.”

Eugene White, a retired Army lieutenant colonel who served for 24 years, including two tours as a platoon leader in Vietnam, said he was concerned with the number of medical and criminal waivers being issued for enlistees.

“When you talk about people who are obese or have criminal records from my perspective as a platoon leader, they require a higher degree of care and maintenance,” said White, who now works as a military analyst for a private corporation.

He’s less concerned about soldiers who don’t have a high school diploma.

“I’ve met a lot of soldiers with GEDs who are better trained than high school grads,” he said.

Candidate Charges Bush With Treason

Charges of Treason have been brought against President Bush and others by third party candidate for congress Robert Smith here in the 1st District. He promised to do this back at the beginning of the campaign and says on his blog he filed the paperwork in October.

"At noon today I stood inside the federal courthouse here in Greeneville, TN. I made sure the Marshals knew I was charging Treason by the President and his enabelers. I demanded that the specifics be forwarded to where they could be acted upon."

The formal charge (and a press conference, if he can get the press interested) is planned for Nov. 7th in Greeneville, according to this post by Newscoma.

Hispanics Transforming Tennessee

"Blending cultures is an uncomfortable idea for many people here. It's just too new, for one thing. But the number of Hispanic children in the Hamblen County school system is growing dramatically with every passing year, and school is where the blending usually starts.

``We're going to be the group that changes the mentality in our town,'' school district Director Dale Lynch vowed.

In the early 1990s, Hamblen County schools enrolled maybe 35 students a year whose primary language was Spanish. The numbers exploded in the past five years.

This year, 11 percent of the children enrolled districtwide are Hispanic, and about three-quarters of them need help learning English.

Sitting on a table in Lynch's office is the book Help! They Don't Speak English Starter Kit. But he could also use a manual on dealing with parents angry about the extra cost of educating non-English-speaking students.

``We didn't see rebellion from parents until it became an issue with the county commissioners,'' Lynch said.

$6,800 per child

The school district budget is funded by the county, and former Commissioner Tom Lowe stirred up a tempest last year when he began lobbying for the federal government to pay the county's share of educating non-English-speaking students.

Officials said it costs about $6,800 a year to educate a child in the district and that they do not separate into a separate budget category the additional cost of teaching non-English-speaking students. Clearly they're reluctant to display an amount of money that would trigger more hard feelings in the community.

Beginning in December, the district plans to provide half-day intensive language training at an ``International Center'' for about 120 students a day, those with the least-developed English skills."

The above is an excerpt from one of a series of stories on the rise in Hispanic residents in Hamblen County from Houston Chronicle reporter Kim Cobb.

More of that article here, with additional stories here on immigrants and farming In Hamblen County, and other reports here, here and here.

I spoke and emailed with Kim numerous times over the last few months as she worked on putting the series together. It is by far some of the most in-depth examination of legal and illegal immigrants in East Tennessee. She noted the one irony in this cultural change which I have seen as well -- jobs disappeared in the 1990s into Latin America and then in the late 1990s, Latin America began to relocate here - for better pay, better health care, better lives.

There are sadly many misperceptions about immigrant communities, but the fact remains the same - the change has already happened. Some residents are simply angry that change has occurred. Most are adapting to a larger Hispanic community, finding ways to assist them in almost every level of business and culture.

I just wonder why it took a reporter from Texas to find the will to develop and report the issues.

One part of the series discussses the major federal case which East Tennessee media has barely bothered to report - the Garcia Labor indictment.

"But the federal government nabbed a big fish in July, obtaining indictments of the owner of a Morristown-based agency supplying temporary workers to factories and farms throughout the region on charges that he operated a "large-scale illegal-alien-employment and money-laundering scheme."

Prosecutors charged that Garcia Labor Co. Inc. knowingly hired about 1,000 illegal immigrants for an air cargo company in nearby Ohio and brought some of them from Mexico to take the jobs.

Max Garcia and two other company executives pleaded guilty this month, agreed to forfeit $12 million in company earnings and face up to 10 years in prison.

Now there is an obvious question: Did Garcia have a personnel pipeline running between Mexico and Morristown, too?"

Happy Halloween!

I cannot imagine a Halloween without a peek at the handiwork of Tennessee Jed, who carves a sort of Memorial Pumpkin each year. This year's choice is a standout. Check it out.

Next stop is Rex L. Camino, who has details on "How to Build Your Own Bona Fide Real Undead Zombie." As Rex says,

"I should also point out that I’m in no way advocating that you turn another human being into a zombie. Don’t get me wrong, that would totally kick ass, but I’m officially telling you that, although there is no specific law against zombie making, there is probably something illegal within the process."

And until Viacom makes them take away all their products from YouTube, then enjoy:

Losing

For a day or two now I've been trying to find the language to express just how distorted and lost my home has become. My home was once a revolutionary country - one with problems aplenty as history shows. But it was revolutionary because it was a defender of Liberty and Freedom and bound by laws. In the scope of human history, I told myself in search of some comfort, America did much in a very short time.

In civics and history classes, the ideas and ideals which were the bedrock of America were constant. Flaws were found, for they exist in even the best of intentions, but I saw a country moving into such better reckoning, realizing that not just landowners and not just white males had Liberty, Freedom and lawful protection. For a while, it was as if the vast majority of this country both understood that and worked ceaselessly to achieve it.

Now the thoughts in our national capitol and in the minds of too many well-educated citizens are tuned to a single note - Fear.

Leaders locally and nationally have shown contempt for our bedrock ideals. The most unnerving and shocking example of this is tucked away in a bill quietly signed into law by President Bush - a worthy bill containing pay increases for the military, accountability for (some) government contractors, better housing a military bases.

But then there's this section which leaps backwards hundreds of years - a little paragraph which eliminates the rights of states and grants to the President and the President alone authority to send in military troops into any town, city or state, regardless of whether a town city or state requests or requires such might.

Public Law 109-364, in Section 333 states:

"The President may employ the armed forces, including the National Guard in Federal service, to--

`(A) restore public order and enforce the laws of the United States when, as a result of a natural disaster, epidemic, or other serious public health emergency, terrorist attack or incident, or other condition in any State or possession of the United States, the President determines that--

`(i) domestic violence has occurred to such an extent that the constituted authorities of the State or possession are incapable of maintaining public order; and

`(ii) such violence results in a condition described in paragraph (2); or

`(B) suppress, in a State, any insurrection, domestic violence, unlawful combination, or conspiracy if such insurrection, violation, combination, or conspiracy results in a condition described in paragraph (2).

`(2) A condition described in this paragraph is a condition that--

`(A) so hinders the execution of the laws of a State or possession, as applicable, and of the United States within that State or possession, that any part or class of its people is deprived of a right, privilege, immunity, or protection named in the Constitution and secured by law, and the constituted authorities of that State or possession are unable, fail, or refuse to protect that right, privilege, or immunity, or to give that protection; or

`(B) opposes or obstructs the execution of the laws of the United States or impedes the course of justice under those laws.

`(3) In any situation covered by paragraph (1)(B), the State shall be considered to have denied the equal protection of the laws secured by the Constitution.

The Senate passed this unanimously. 23 members of Congress voted against it. Since the bill contains regulations on hundreds of changes, I'm sure some would say that "overall, this is a good bill." That is a sheer lie:

"On September 19th, a lone Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) noted that 2007's Defense Authorization Act contained a "widely opposed provision to allow the President more control over the National Guard [adopting] changes to the Insurrection Act, which will make it easier for this or any future President to use the military to restore domestic order WITHOUT the consent of the nation's governors."

Senator Leahy went on to stress that, "we certainly do not need to make it easier for Presidents to declare martial law. Invoking the Insurrection Act and using the military for law enforcement activities goes against some of the central tenets of our democracy. One can easily envision governors and mayors in charge of an emergency having to constantly look over their shoulders while someone who has never visited their communities gives the orders."

A few weeks later, on the 29th of September, Leahy entered into the Congressional Record that he had "grave reservations about certain provisions of the fiscal Year 2007 Defense Authorization Bill Conference Report," the language of which, he said, "subverts solid, longstanding posse comitatus statutes that limit the military's involvement in law enforcement, thereby making it easier for the President to declare martial law." This had been "slipped in," Leahy said, "as a rider with little study," while "other congressional committees with jurisdiction over these matters had no chance to comment, let alone hold hearings on, these proposals."

More here.

I know some may argue that the failure of the Federal response to Hurricane Katrina makes such changes necessary. But let's remember that this president staffed FEMA's leadership with idiots who had zero working knowledge of responding to natural disaster. Hundreds of long-time FEMA staffers quit their jobs in disgust and, no surprise, the argument was then made that FEMA should just be a part of Homeland Security -- which is now responsible for flu vaccines and responses to tornadoes and ... what was that other thing?? Oh, yeah, Terrorism.

My home, my country, was once known as the "home of the brave."

Today, it is home of the terrified.

So terrified, that both leaders and citizens are willing to abandon any belief or any law if they feel, for the moment, it might provide an illusion of safety. They have abandoned reason.

I do understand know why so many voices on Right-Wing Radio and Newspapers and Cable networks and Blogs all sound as if they are shrieks of fear. They are fearful. And they appear to fear everything.

They have no confidence in themselves, their country, in Liberty or Freedom or Law. In their hearts, they feel only loss and terror.

Such people are like those who are drowning, and when a rescuer appears to help them, they will likely attempt to drown that person as well due to their relentless panic.

YouTube Yanks Comedy Central Clips

It really isn't a surprise to me that video clips are being yanked off YouTube within days of their purchase by Google. One can imagine Google's attorneys wailing and warning about copyright lawsuits -- something I'm sure they did before the purchase. And I imagine the meetings ended with "we'll deal with that AFTER we buy them."

Via Digg today, reports claim YouTube is yanking clips from Comedy Central's "The Daily Show", The Colbert Report" and "South Park."

I did a bit of checking today and found that many older clips are currently available, but many recent clips are now gone. Given that thousands and thousands of clips are available, it may take them some time to remove them all.

Lawyers cited the dreaded Digital Millenium Copyright Act as justification for the removal. The far-reaching law can also prevent industry professionals from even speaking at conferences about issues related to digital research. More here.

So until the clips are all gone, here is a fine conversation between Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert of the Real Threat in America - bloggers:

Camera Obscura - Top Funny Horror Movies

When the holiday of Halloween occurs so close to an election day, it's rather difficult to conjure creeps and shivers which could compete with candidates and nefarious unnamed committees

Given the surreal absurdity of politics and the dread of the voter, it seems a fine time to offer a list of some of the Funniest Horror Movies. Please feel free to add your favorites. Oh, and just because the movies mentioned here do have humorous qualities - some can still scare you witless.

THE TOP TEN

10. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE -- I never tire of watching this aberrant attempt at filmmaking. It truly is so awful it is completely hilarious. The writing, the acting, the sets, the narration, the plot, just every thing about it will make anyone laugh. Can anyone even understand a word that Tor Johnson says? Rumor has it that the TV host Vampira spoke no words in the movie because she said the writing was so bad it could ruin her career to utter the lines. Like many a classic comedy, it gets funnier every time you watch it. The pie-plate flying saucers on strings wiggling across the tiny sets, the shower curtain that serves as a doorway to an airplane cockpit and lines like:

"Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots.
Jeff Trent: Now you just hold on, Buster "

Sheer genius.

9. BEETLEJUICE - A box office hit with bona fide stars, directed by Tim Burton, this movie has much in it's favor - like The Handbook For The Recently Deceased, which reads like "stereo instructions." I also liked the football team killed in a crash who just can't fathom that they are dead. Great satire on many levels, and the scabby, crusty Beetlejuice performance from Michael Keaton: "I got demons runnin' alll through me!!"

8. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD - This movie's ending gets really scary, but what fun to be had along the way! Start with the medical warehouse where the movie is set as actor James Karen goes into a screaming panic when he realizes a canister containing a zombie has broken open. Karen nearly steals this movie, closely followed by actor Don Calfa as a mortician who reluctantly agrees to help burn the pieces of a zombie in his crematory - which creates an instant rainstorm which brings even more zombies back to life. Famous for the introduction of the line "Braaaaaaains" from a zombie, and my favorite, when a zombie gets on the radio from an ambulance and says "Send more paramedics!"

7. EVIL DEAD 2 - Yes, numbers 7 and 6 are pretty much a tie for Sam Raimi's hilarious antics of poor Ash (Bruce Campbell) fighting off demons from some comedy one-liner Hell. Make no mistake, Campbell turns in a performance worthy of Harold Lloyd or Buster Keaton or any comic legend. He cuts off his demon-possessed hand, then has to chase it all over the house as it taunts him and makes goofy noises. Prior to cutting it off, the hand proceeds to bash the hell out of Ash's head with so many dinner plates you'd think this cabin he's in is a warehouse for a restaurant. Gory and comedy non-stop.

6. ARMY OF DARKNESS - And Campbell and director Raimi don't stop - poor Ash is sucked into a demon dimension and of course Prophecy says he will save the medieval world he is trapped in. He is attacked by tiny two-inch high Ash-clones, has his faced nearly sucked into a demon vortex and has a shotgun on one hand and a chainsaw welded to the other. Plus, he wows the crowds with lines like:

"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You *got* that?"

5. DEAD-ALIVE - Before he fund fame as the director of "Lord of the Rings", Peter Jackson made some very strange, very funny and very gory movies. Bitten by a Giant Rat of Sumatra, the hero's mom turns into a flesh-eating zombie, which our hero tries to protect. Bad idea. Plenty of jokes are here, especially the local preacher, Father McGruder, who fights the zombies with his kung-fu skills. Oh and there is the scene where the hero takes a roaring lawnmower to a room full of zombies. Unforgettable (but be warned - this is a clear-the-room gorefest).

4. HIDE AND CREEP - Made in Alabama a few years ago for about $1.95 and cheered by Kevin Smith, the story presents a simple set-up. What happens when the dead begin to come to life in a town full of dim-witted hicks? Lots of zombie-movie jokes and it may be the first movie to be labeled a "zomcom."

3. GHOSTBUSTERS - Another big box office hit, with a hilarious script ("Here's your mucus, Egon!") and many other quotable lines. It's a modern version of the old Bob Hope horror comedy "Ghostbreakers", plus it spawned a terrible sequel and an animated series. And that song that Would Not Die.

2. SHAUN OF THE DEAD - If you haven't seen this one, run as fast as your feets can go and grab a copy. This British comedy makes it quite clear that it is rather difficult to determine just who a zombie might be as so many people drift so lifelessly thru the day. Once our "heroes" figure out what's happening, their plan is ... well, not so much a plan as a desire to hide out in a pub. And even in the worst of times, there is always time for friends to argue.

1. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN - A masterwork of moviemaking from Mel Brooks, which makes careful homage to all the old Universal horror movies of the 30s and 40s. And it's "Fronkenstein!" And of course, "Eyegore" and not "Igor."
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If you are rushed for time and don't have the chance to see a full length horror comedy, then try this one out - "Night of the Living Dead" in 30 seconds acted by bunnies.

"Masters of Horror" Back For 2nd Season

Ah, Halloween - the annual return of, as AT said, "the best banner ever!"

Thanks, AT - it was created for just this holiday last year by The Editor.

And it serves to herald the return of an excellent series of one-hour specials on Showtime, which begins again on Friday the 27th of October. I've got a full rundown of episodes and info about each show. And how best to introduce these fright-fests featuring the work of Dario Argento, Tobe Hooper and more? Why, via the pen of William Shakespeare, who wrote:

" 'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world."




Ok, now the episodes:

Oct. 27th -

“The Damned Thing” by R.C. Matheson. - 10/27/2006

An unknown monstrous force descends upon a small Texas town, turning husband against wife, brother against sister, parent against child. Tortured by his own tragic past, Sheriff Kevin Reddle (SEAN PATRICK FLANERY) must overcome his horrific rage if he is to restore order. MARISA COUGHLAN and TED RAIMI also star in this apocalyptic tale of terror.

Tobe Hooper (“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “Poltergeist”) directs.

Nov. 3 -

“Family” by Brent Hanley. - 11/3/2006

The Fullers (MEREDITH MONROE and MATT KEESLAR), a young married couple, move to a new town and discovers that their neighbor, Harold Thompson (GEORGE WENDT), is not what he seems. He putters away at his hobbies; however, his passion is anything but innocent. The Fullers will soon know what evil lurks in the depth of suburban basements.

John Landis (“American Werewolf in London ,” “Thriller”) directs.

Nov. 10 -

“The V Word” by Mick Garris. -11/10/2006

When two teenage boys break into a mortuary in hope of seeing a dead body, the macabre punishment visited upon them will far outweigh their crime. Instead of fulfilling their morbid curiosity, the boys are attacked by a rampaging vampire (MICHAEL IRONSIDE) and must ultimately decide whether to sacrifice themselves or survive as blood-thirsty killers.

Ernest Dickerson (“Bones,” “Demon Knight”) directs.

Nov. 17 -

“Sounds Like" by Brad Anderson- 11/17/2006

Quality control supervisor Larry Pearce (CHRIS BAUER) spends his days monitoring the nuances of his tech support staff's telephone conversations… listening is his life. However, when grief over his son's death leads to a supernaturally heightened sense of sound, Larry is forced to take violent action to silence the horrific cacophony in his head. Its “The Tell-Tale Heart” meets “The Conversation” in this tale of psychological terror based on Mike O'Driscoll's short story. LAURA MARGOLIS also stars.

Brad Anderson (“The Machinist,” “Session 9”) directs.

Nov 24 -

“Pro-Life” by Drew McWeeny & Scott Swan - 11/24/2006

A near-accident on an isolated mountain road lands young Angelique (CAITLIN WACHS) in a nearby women's health clinic. As her fervently anti-abortion father Dwayne (RON PERLMAN) and his well-armed three sons attempt to “liberate” Angelique, she discovers that the only thing more dangerous than her would-be saviors is the demonic seed growing within her. MARK FEUERSTEIN and EMMANUELLE VAUGIER also star.

John Carpenter (“Halloween,” “The Thing”) directs.

Dec. 1 -

“Pelts” by Matt Venne.- 12/1/2006

Fur trader Jake Feldman (MEATLOAF) knows that you can't make a coat without breaking a few animals' necks. In his pursuit to make the perfect fur coat to win over a woman, Feldman steals supernatural raccoon pelts that violently turn against those that covet them. “The skin trade” gets a whole new twist in this Giallo-style adaptation of F. Paul Wilson's short story. JOHN SAXON also stars.

Dario Argento (“Suspiria,” “Terror at the Opera”) directs.

Dec. 8 -

“The Screwfly Solution” by Sam Hamm. - 12/8/2006

Based on the short story by Raccoona Sheldon, a deadly virus infects the nation, transforming men into psychotic killers who attack every woman that crosses their paths. A suburban housewife and her teenage daughter embark on a treacherous journey to survive, but how can they protect themselves from an entire gender gone mad? JASON PRIESTLY and ELLIOT GOULD star.

Joe Dante (“The Howling,” “Gremlins”) directs.

The official link to the Showtime site is here.

Other entries include an adapation of a David Schow story directed by Tom Holland, and Stuart Gordon is adapting Poe's "The Black Cat" which he will also direct.