Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Ethics Exhaustion
I know there is a sense of Ethics Exhaustion among the general population. A good example of what brings that about is the long-fought legislation to create an anti-torture bill in Congress which the president signed and yet he also signed a statement saying his office was not legally bound to uphold or enforce the law.
Here in this state, as in many others, influence peddling and lobbying play a cash game - and the recent revelation that Jack Abramoff will "talk" about his work has many officials and party supporters scrambling like bugs running from a blast of insecticide. I doubt much will take place to correct or punish those who broke the law since Abramoff and the Justice Dept. have worked on his "plea bargain" for a year and a half. Some will be sacrificed for the Greater Good, but many will skate away to safety.
Wailing about federal corruption often misses that the most damaging and corrupt administration was a previous Republican-led disaster: Ronald Reagan's legacy is the leader, with nearly 200 administration officials indicted or investigated. Selling arms to Iran, the multi-billion dollar collapse of S&Ls, the fastest growth of federal power and government in general - seems as if the door was kicked open to allow for anything with a response that "the ends always justifies the means."
Perhaps all this "corruption" really has become the status quo.
Another recent example here in Tennessee is the nearly two dozen findings that the Tennessee School Board Association's director Dan Tollett grabbed money like he was on a game show. But the TSBA is working on it. I'm sure it will be better .... soon ... one day .... maybe.
Governor Bredesen today made these comments to legislators:
"In the months since last spring, I have traveled a great deal across our state, and it is gratifying to me to see the amount of plain old common sense on this subject. Most Tennesseans believe in the integrity of their government, of their elected leaders.
They know that there are bad apples once and awhile – I’m dealing with similar issues myself. They also know that public officials aren’t vacuum-wrapped in plastic; we all live in the real world and there are always potential conflicts and cross-currents. But they trust us, when things go wrong, to move forward, to learn from the experience, and to do the best job we can of fixing the problem.
Tennesseans still trust their government.
I ask us now to join together – Governor and Legislature, Democrat and Republican – to prove once again that we are worthy stewards of that trust."
If you've bothered to read this far, how do you really think all these Ethics investigations will fare?
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Truthiness, Muffin Tops and Whale Tails
The American Dialect Society discussed this and other issues over the last week, including the "newest" words to reach prominence in the English language. But is this influence truly new or are conclusions about how we talk accurate?
"Linguists believe that young women and men talk differently from each other: women ask questions out of politeness while men want data. Women allow each other to finish a sentence before starting their own, while men interrupt more. In addition, women seeking prestige pick up fashionable new words faster than men.
Experts believe this has been going on for centuries. A Finnish study of 15th-century English court correspondence, for example, shows that aristocratic wives moved from archaic "ye" to "you" significantly earlier than their husbands."
But for now, you can talk about whether or not podcasting will jump the couch as a bunch of whale-tailers and muffin tops, like, totally take over the world of words. (Play this game at home - just plug in your favorite era of slang, as in "The mod happening was groovy until the fuzz arrived." or how about "I jitterbugged until dawn with a tomato who was reet, sweet and not too petite." or "She got all Single-White Female on me" - thanks Buffy.)
And the fun thing about "studies" and "scientific surveys" is that you can create on almost anything you imagine. Another recent study was launched to study the ways in which clothing affects the appearance of a woman's butt. Love the picture that accompanied the story too.
And there's this one about how cell phones and mobile text-messaging causes more tension within a family.
Hope this life-hacks your blogging.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
TN-based Company Selling Your Phone Records
No court orders needed if you use the Locatecell.com services and they report in hours, according to the company's website. The page can also link you to a service to search land lines too.
The FBI tried it and it worked for them. And according to the report:
"Representatives of Data Find Solutions Inc., the Tennessee-based operator of Locatecell.com, could not be reached for comment.
Frank Bochte, a spokesman for the FBI in Chicago, said he was aware of the Web site.
"Not only in Chicago, but nationwide, the FBI notified its field offices of this potential threat to the security of our agents, and especially our undercover agents," Bochte said. "We need to educate our personnel about the dangers posed by individuals using this site and others like it. We are stressing that they should be careful in their cellular use."
Law enforcement has been warning undercover operatives about the threat.
Thought you might like a heads up too.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Senate Candidate's Reforms Lost In The News
The news media has plenty to say about how much money certain candidates are raising right now in the Tennessee Senate race, but why not focus on some of the ideas put forth last year by Rosalind Kurita?
Her (is that the problem, the candidate is female?) plan included these ideas:
-- End the revolving door. Once you serve in Congress, you shouldn’t be allowed to leave and become a lobbyist. No more 'cooling off' period, end the practice of Members of Congress using their public service for private gain.
-- Make Congressional districts fair. 98% of Members of Congress win re-election. We need and independent commission to guide the redistricting process so average citizens have a fair shot at winning a seat in the government.
-- Report "grassroots" lobbying. Currently, a loophole in the law allows so-called "grassroots" lobbying expenses to go unreported. Untold millions are spent influencing legislation and the public never knows about it. Reporting of grassroots lobbying expenses should be required.
-- Report lobbying more frequently. Current law only requires reports every six months. Lobbyists ought to report their expenses quarterly, and the reports should be more detailed. It should be easy for the public to find out what Member of Congress was lobbied, what legislation was discussed, and how much was spent.
-- End Lobbyist Funded Trips for Lawmakers. Millions of dollars are spent each year by lobbyists to give lawmakers free vacations. Under the guise of "issue-education," lawmakers take extravagant trips paid for by special interests.
-- Real penalties for breaking the law. Lobbyists regularly file late or inaccurate reports and little is done under the current system. Lobbying disclosure deadlines should be enforced and stiff penalties should be imposed for breaking the law.
"It’s time for real reform," Kurita said. "We deserve a federal government we can trust. Special interests won’t like these reforms, but I don’t work for them. My job is to fight for what’s best for the people of Tennessee. When it comes to ethics, my experiences as a nurse will serve me well. We need more Senators who have spent time taking care of patients, not just taking care of special interests."
As of 2006, her voice and her ideas seem to be ignored.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
"It's in the hole! A Cinderella story .."
In the early 1990s, the state saw fit to post $20 million in bonds for something vital, crucial to the state, the economy and all the wee little folks who call Tennessee home. Health care? Education? Housing? Law Enforcement? Nope. Think Golf courses. Who better to get state financing than the ultra-needy folks who travel the nation and the world whacking balls into holes with sticks?
"The locations were very poor to draw the type of clientele they would need to charge the fees they proposed," said William H. Barnett II, an accountant in East Tennessee who opposed the building of the Bear Trace 10 years ago, predicting that it would go in the red.
"We also felt, as we looked at it, that many of the locations were political. That's very powerful in this state. When you combine political motivation with an investment of that type and it's not successful - then the taxpayers pay."
It gets better - well, for some anyway - despite warnings of the failure of this project (shrug, shrug) it was endorsed and it failed and you are stuck with the cost. But at least one person got a nifty state job from the operation, according to the report cited above:
" ... the lawyer for Tennessee Golf, Nashville lawyer James L. Murphy, explained the dire straits in a Dec. 10, 2004, letter to Jim Fyke, who was head of the state parks system at the time.
"While The Bear Trace golf courses may or may not have been the best use of the $20 million in bond money that the state authorized in 1993, that decision cannot be reversed," Murphy wrote.
"The money has already been spent and ... it is impossible for anyone to generate the revenues required to meet the increased debt service obligations that will be required beginning in 2006."
The company lost plenty, too, including more than $17 million in investments it made in the courses, he said. Fyke, who is now the state's commissioner of Environment and Conservation, declined to comment through a spokeswoman."
Nice job. It's in the hole!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
A Statewide Porperty Tax for Education?
Local school boards would still decide how to spend the dollars and that begs several questions - if local policy has not been able to keep students enrolled until they graduate, will more tax dollars fix the problem? Each system currently creates their own funding priorities, don't they? Have their decisions been adequate for each system and how is their effectiveness reviewed? Will increased taxation bring higher grad rates?
Some quotes from the story mentioned above from the Memphis Commercial Appeal:
"Local property taxes in many places could be significantly reduced if the state were funding operations. Some people would pay less; most would pay more probably since total funding would move closer to what other states spend," said Morgan. "As a state, we would still be way below the (Southern regional) average tax burden under any plausible scenario."
And some statistics:
In Tennessee, only 59 out of 100 ninth-graders go on to graduate from high school. Only 36 will enter college. And only 15 will graduate from college.
In the best-performing states, 91 out of 100 ninth-graders go on to graduate high school, 62 enter college and 28 get a degree.
Morgan said that data, combined with a 2005 National Association of Manufacturers survey that 80 percent of manufacturers have difficulty finding skilled workers, tell the story.
Morgan says part of the reason for submitting this report was to create public discussion about education in the state.
I've had this question on my mind for some time - do Tennesseans place a value on education? Is education simply a training guide for employment? Given the state's wide ranging unemployment figures, from 4 to 14 percent or higher, what happens when we have a 91 percent rate of high school grads? A higher number of college grads? Is manufacturing the only way to judge economic health?
It appears to me the state is utterly stagnant in education policies that foster commitment to the process of education. The federal education policies also seem inadequate, given the number of years the Dept. of Education has had to tackle these issues.
Voters are given the job of reviewing the effectiveness of school boards (but not superintendents) and they seem completely disinterested in most cases, and new residents to the state often look for work in areas where school funding is highest in hopes that will insure a solid education for their kids.
Is the solution just more money?
Monday, January 02, 2006
These Are My Answers
Though I would like to know why these things are called "memes". Seems a sort of high-tech-wistfulness to call a list a meme. I do remembering encountering the word for the first time in Neal Stepehenson's epic sci-fi comedy novel of the future "Snow Crash" a few years ago and his usage of it makes sense in a kind of "community-based virus of information sharing" way.
OK, fine here we go.
Four jobs you've had in your life: I've been a dishwasher, I've stacked books in a library, I once shoveled sand into a machine that mixed it with concrete and then came out a high pressure hose to form the shape of a waterslide which was in Jonesboro, and that was in summer for like 10 hours a day and I passed out the first day, so that would be Shoveler, I guess. And I've been paid cash money for writing plays and stories, which is a different kind of Shoveling. What I would really like to find is the Job that Wants To Stay WIth Me.
Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over: Oh I suck at this. I've never been able to give anyone a list of my Ten All Time Favorites, so Four is insane. Let me try this approach - I can name Four movies I've seen more than one hundred times (I could probably name a few dozen), and that list would include "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly", "Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb", James Whale's "Frankenstein", and, oh, why not admit it - "Star Wars", which I saw in theatres over one hundred times at least. Nerd Alert!!
Four Places You've Lived: Ha! While I have lived in many towns, like Morristown or Monterey or Nashville - I have only lived in Tennessee, so that's my final answer. Check with me in a few years on this question and see if anything new has happened.
Four TV Shows You Love To Watch: I once played a game with a friend who owned a satellite system and we used to try and see how many consecutive hours of reruns of "The Simpsons" we could watch, so there's one. I have been rather glued to the new show "Lost", but man, I have grown to hate commercials and so I seldom have the TV off a movie channel these days. Ok,. two more. Well, I did watch a heap of "Monty Python" on BBC America over the weekend and never tire of those shows and the only DVD sets of a TV show I own are "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," and I've shown my nerdy affection for that show on these pages here before. So there's four.
Four Places You've Been On Vacation: I love traveling, despite my single-state residency status. Some of the best trips I've had were to New York, Miami, Jasper, Tennessee (i loved all those trips to see my dad's family and listen to them all tell stories and laugh), and Washington, D.C.
Four Websites I Visit Daily: I am always entertained and educated going to MetaFilter, and rarely a day passes where I don't go to the IMDb, the Internet Movie Database, I always enjoy Crooks and Liars, and ... oh boy ... so many ... I do stop and read thru all kinds of writers and writing via the Rocky Top Brigade more than once a day.
Four of Your Favorite Foods: Any kind of pizza, and I can chow on roast Turkey whether it's a holiday or not, I love a fresh salad, and ... is coffee a food? No? A Beverage? Yeesh! These lists. I'll mention a recent addiction - gimme that Eel Roll Sushi, baby!! (Since I'm Southern, I suppose potatoes and cornbread are obviously included).
Four Places You'd Rather Be: Sounds ominous. The first is at a job!! Where I get paid!!!! I don't much care for winter, so where it's not winter. By the ocean. Or, conversely, deep in some mountains. (Of course, I'd also like to have my own spaceship or villa or something ritzy). Is that more than four?
Four Albums You Can't Live Without: I suppose you mean CDs, right? This is worse than the movies list. Well, just about anything by the Beatles, and I can't list some without omitting others and this isn't fair. I do like several compilations I have. Oh this is impossible - I want rock and jazz and blues and some bluegrass too and some rap too, even. Is this over yet???
Sorry.
Oh I'm supposed to tag four others to do this - how about ... 10,000 Monkeys and A Camera, and also have to tag Juliepatchouli, and one of the brains at Six-Meat Buffet, who claimed once only they were supposed to do "sarcasm" on their pages and perhaps this may annoy them. and um ... oh ... I've been enjoying the pain and suffering at Atomic Tumor, so them too. And if you are not on this ridiculously short list or have no blog, then add your "memes" in the comment section.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Gemini and Accord - Loving Movement
Both of these ads are celebrations of cars, those four-wheeled wonders of movement that have transformed the world and also serve as icons of individual personality. (Do you have a name for your vehicle?) The manufacturing and selling of cars and car parts and fuels and making roads and transportation routesand insuring them and taxing them consume billions of job hours and trillions of dollars, which all go to feed other jobs and services around this blue world. And as these videos show, we have a joy, an ecstacy for our transportation items. (How many car wash and wax locations are in a 3 mile radius of your home? I mean, c'mon they sell hamburgers by getting Paris Hilton to wash a car in a thong with a dripping sponge in one hand and meaty burger in the other.)
First video - which you can access here (via MetaFilter) is for the Isuzu Gemini, which I think ceased production in 1999. Drivers and cars hit the road like the dancing sprites in Disney's "Fantasia" celebrating the change of seasons in an orchestration of sheer joy, leaping through fountains and bouncing thru traffic. The video runs about 3 minutes or so and just keeps getting wilder and more inventive as it whirls its way past you - be sure to watch all of it. And remember, no computer effects.
Second video - which you can access here, is for the new Honda Accord. The video is a sort of reverse joy, a deconstructed celebration of every ball bearing, tire, wire, screw, bolt, and component of a car. The notes on the page indicate again how no computer effects were used, that it took over three months to shoot and took over 600 takes get the video you see. It's a pure Rube Goldberg machine - and aren't such deconstructions brilliant ways to show how we can complicated the simple to astonishing heights of unecessary but entertaining ways?
Some final thoughts - I still want my own personal rocket car or better, a teleporation device. I also wonder what it will take or how long before we move past the internal combustion engine as our cultural definer.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Camera Obscura - Final Friday

Here at the final Friday of 2005, we return to the topic that has had me writing non-stop for over 27 years now - movies. What they are, what they mean, what's new and what's old. Also too, since I was asked by someone, a definition and/or explanation of why I call my posts about movies Camera Obscura.
There is a pretty long history of the use of a Camera Obscura, which you can read here, starting with a reference to a Camera Obscura from the Chinese philosopher Mo-Ti in the 5th century. And there is a simple law of optics involved with this concept - rays of light pass through a small opening, with or without a lens, and an upside-down image of what's outside will appear on a surface opposite the opening. For many years, it was a tool for artists and astronomers, a way for them to trace a drawing of an image or a planet. It is part of the art world today, and likely will always be. Given the nature of human perception, it seemed to me a fine way to describe the act of viewing a movie (another optical trick) and the act of writing about what I see.
Literally, the phrase is Latin, and means Dark Chamber - and as Merriam's Dictionary defines it:
"a darkened enclosure having an aperture usually provided with a lens through which light from external objects enters to form an image of the objects on the opposite surface."
When I wrote my first movie column in the mid-1980s under the banner Camera Obscura, I had no idea there were already numerous film journals and columns that used the same title and when I found out there were, I still used it for a simple reason - I like the word and the image the concept made in the dark chambers of my own mind, a reflection of what I see.
Audiences in a movie theatre all participate in these flickering moments, as they have for years, but each person still leaves the event with deeply personal memories which makes for both shared and private encounters. Thanks to rapidly changing technologies, I can watch them endlessly now in my own home whether on dozens of movie channels or on stacks of DVDs or VHS tapes. From the first movies made up to illegal bootlegs of movies not yet released, it's all at my fingertips.
But that isn't the same as being in a theatre - which were once palaces then became dull shoe-box shaped mall multiplexes and now are events with stadium seating in rocking chairs which may include digital sound named after a 70s sci-fi movie, THX-1138. And even though the Drive-In is disappearing, there was nothing like watching a movie outside as you sat in your car on in a lawn chair. I can usually recall the theatre and perhaps the cities where I've seen most movies, a memory that is far different from viewing a film for the first time on television.
When it was cheaper to see them, I went more often, and when I was paid to see them and review them I went even more. The sound of a projector is music, a sprocket hole is a doorway to infinity and illusion.
I am constantly amazed by old favorites and new discoveries. This week again watched two truly American classics, the first was "Two Lane Blacktop" from director Monte Hellman. James Taylor (yes, the singer) and Mike Wilson (once a Beach Boy) drive endlessly in a grey primered '55 Chevy and don't talk much. Warren Oates drives a GTO and wants to race and spins endless versions of his life story to anyone who will listen. The movie is so empty and silent in places, or sometimes is overwhelmed by roaring engine, and it also does something I like in many movies - it captures a specific time and place in history. Here, its the post-60s and early 70s mundane and morose qualities of America. Hellman's style and editing may bore most viewers but if you let the movie just run it's course, it leaves an emotional wallop.
Another oldie this week was "The Hustler" by Robert Rossen and starring Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felsen who lives and dies in pool halls. A sequel, "The Color Of Money" is also fine, but this original story is like bebop jazz and whiskey soda - cool and biting. Here too, are little moments of time, 1960 America. The lunch counter at the bus station is a real place, and the spare but loaded pick-up dialog between Newman and Laurie Piper is as real as the forlorn bus stop.
Not everyone wants some Big Idea when they watch a movie - they just want to be entertained for a while, to laugh or to be thrilled. But even then, what we watch and how we react, its all part of the same process of perception and participation.
OK, enough of what was - what's ahead for 2006?
A vast amount of movie trailers for upcoming releases can be found here, and that's a good place to start pondering the next year of movies and good place for me to stop today. I will add however that one of the behind the scenes details on the site mentioned above is the production of Frank Miller's "300", based on his graphic novel about Spartan warriors. It nicely blends the artwork of Miller, history and the new ways technology is making movie magic.

Thursday, December 29, 2005
Simplicity Defined
In four months, he's sold over 900,000.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
A True Story
I think it's a good story, but also I think it shows how any person who arrives in what remains of the downtown area is going to be confused. Is it a business that's open? Is it a building that's collapsing? Why are there overhead sidewalks that lead nowhere? Why does the city do it's best to bulldoze and take over and zero to build up the existing businesses? Why do some places get the red carpet treatment from the city (like a spankin' new bank) and legendary and solid businesses (like Ramsey's Farm Market) which are a part of the city's history, get the short end of the every stick?
It happens, I know, in most any town - certain developers who are friends with the right planning commissioners or city appointees - get the best efforts. The rest can all go to hell. The history of the downtown is even more amazing when you consider how the former city hall (now a parking lot) used to overlook one of the most notorious centers of crime that operated blatantly in plain sight of everyone.
Whoops - this was supposed to be about LA Barabbas. Sorry. He's a fine writer and knows some of the most famous .... well, best not to say who he knows. He will reveal all. Go. Read.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
TN Home to 3 of Top 25 Webcams of 2005
But this post is about achievement and status of the Widely Webbed World cam kind.
According to EarthCam's Best of 2005, Tennessee has not one, not two but three of the top 25. In Tennessee math, that's what, like 30 percent? (Yes, Virginia, that was a joke.) Just scroll thru their list for access to all the TN webcams honored this year.
Now one of them was surely no surprise - the GracelandCam. You get two cams really, one of the entrance, which has some li'l gold Christmas trees visible and another of a black and white cam that looks like either some kind of Nativity scene or a forgotten scene from the French New Wave, maybe Jean Luc Godard or an early Truffaut effort.
Now, of course you could just take a peek at the Eiffel Tower cam, or use the robotic cam you can control to look around Tokyo - or even the Dept. of Motor Vehicles cam in Alaska. But then you'd miss the other two Tennessee web cams on the top 25 list.
One is a "live" feed of Piranhas from somewhere in Nashville, but I could really not make much sense of that one. It has a zippy opening credits sequence and then a web page opens for a company that makes advertisements called Piranha Pictures (they claim they made a spot for TDOT and the TN Dept. of Tourism and others) But when I click on the "watch Piranhas Live cam" I get nothing. Still, they seem to be sincerely spending tax dollars and other investment funds on .... something.
Best of the bunch, hands down, however is called JailCam. Yes, live action from Clinton, TN and the Anderson County Sheriff's Department. It even has a warning that you may witness "instances of violence or inappropriate behavior by detainees ..." Now, we're talking worldwide entertainment value!!
So a salute from yer Cup of Joe goes to Graceland, the alleged Piranhas, and the Anderson County Jail, which ranks right up there with cams of the Pyramids and Arctic Exploration Vessels and even a Panda Cam. Start the new year with your plan to make Tennessee the Webcam Capital!! (Think DollyCam or MoonshineCam or DisgruntledVolCam ....well, you get the idea.)

ET Jobless Rates Continue Climb
For example, the Hamblen County rate is up to 6.3 percent while the city of Morristown's unemployment rate is at 9.1 percent.
As the Sun reports:
• Cocke County, 7.4 percent, up from 7.1 percent in October;
• Hamblen County, 6.3 percent, up from 6.2 percent in October;
• Hawkins County, 6.0 percent, up from 5.2 percent in October.
• Sullivan County, 4.7 percent, up from 4.5 percent in October;
• Unicoi County, 6.2 percent, up from 5.6 percent in October;
• Washington County, 4.7 percent, up from 4.6 percent in October.
Nearby, Smaller Cities
Among nearby, smaller Tennessee cities, the following were their unemployment rates in November:
• Bristol, 5.1 percent, up from 4.9 percent in October;
• Johnson City, 5.2 percent, up from 4.9 percent in October;
• Kingsport, 7.2 percent, up from 6.9 percent in October; and
• Morristown, 9.1 percent, up from 9.0 percent in October.
Among Tennessee’s major metropolitan areas, these were their November jobless rates:• Knox County (Knoxville), 4.4 percent, up from 4.1 percent in October;
• Hamilton County (Chattanooga), 4.8 percent, up from 4.7 percent in October;
• Davidson County (Nashville), 4.9 percent, up from 4.7 percent in October; and
• Shelby County (Memphis), 6.3 percent, up from 6.0 percent in October.
Monday, December 26, 2005
New Numbers Thanks To Technorati
I checked today and found the value has more than doubled since then! By Odin's Beard!!! In a few huundred years, I may somehow figure out how to turn the words into income! Thanks and more thanks to all of you for ... well, making this all that much more worthwhile!!
And li'l Tiny Tim may lose his crutches and be ok after all!
My blog is worth $15,242.58.
How much is your blog worth?
Kelvis Has Entered the Building
This is not a suggesstion, It is a blatant plug.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Two Christmas Stories
Still, I searched for a story or two to share here today.
Then, reading through some of the links included here on this page, I read a two-part Christmas story at, of all places, The Stinkhorn Rodeo. So please take a read at Johnny Rawhide's "Makiin' Christmas At The Ranch" Parts One and Two.
And much Joy and Peace to all.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Camera Obscura - Write The Caption Contest

Here's a few things for you on this non-normal Friday movie post.
First -- feel free to make up your own caption for the following photograph. And no, it is not from the movie "King Kong". (And thanks too go to the Rodeo Monkey for showing me the national value of monkeys in general.)
Also, I have to hand out just a few lumps of coal for some folks who have made this Christmas season a time of greed, hatred and lies.
First Fox News in general and also Fox host John Gibson, who used falsehoods and fear about the holiday to increase his book sales with a dubious example of writing (and also it gave him airtime to screechingly whine in a feeble attempt to "prove" his ridiculous viewpoint and more importantly to sell a few hundred thousand copies of his Book of Lies, called "The War On Christmas: How The Liberal Plot to Ban Christmas Is Worse Than You Thought."
Another title could be "Please Buy My Book Or I'll Shoot This Dog" (apologies to the National Lampoon for use of their headline.) What a twisted excuse for journalism.
So, just for fun, make up any caption you wish for the photo here and add it in the comment section.
And you can also find a whole heap of great monkey stories over the last few weeks at Rex L. Camino's Blog of Doom. That story about Paris Hilton's pet monkey attacking her is my favorite story of the year. (See "Paris Monkey Attacks" Nov. 16th post for the first of many stories.)
Oh and one more question you may or may not want to answer - Why do I title my Friday posts "Camera Obscura"? My answer will appear next week.
Feliz Navidad, Merry Ho-Ho, Happy Holidays and don't monkey with my Christmas again.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
10,000 Plus for Christmas

I just wanted to say a giant-sized thank you to all the many readers and bloggers and subscribers and the curious who have been making this page a stopping-off point. Sometime on Wednesday, the statistic counter on this page noted I had passed 10,000 page views. I know some sites get many many more, but I still say THANKS!!!
I have just started to dip into this new form of media and communication since August 2005, and to have so many readers in such a short time, I feel I have offered enough of worth and note here to encourage you to return and others to seek this page out. Many fine writers - see all those links over on the left - have added greatly to the number of visitors here and I thank them with all my heart. And I hope you visit them as well, since they have given me many hours of excellent reading and information.
I know I am hardly a constant source of news, but the opportunity to write and share that writing with any and everyone who has some kind of computer access means more than I can express. It is truly liberating to bypass all the typical boundaries of publishing and find there are readers who care to spend time here. While the banks and stores I try and do business with never ask if I want to trade some blog time for their services, the worth of this project is priceless to me.
All in all, it makes me want to work a little harder to provide information and stories and oddities i encounter as I shuffle my way forward. There have been so many excellent rewards in terms of friendship alone, I can only consider myself a wealthy and fortunate man indeed.
So Merry Christmas to all of you and thanks for a gift I will diligently return with as much good writing as possible.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Dancing In The Streets

You've likely heard it before here in the South -- Dancing leads to corruption, sin, decadence, sex and maybe even tobacco. Thanks to a short but deeply enjoyable visit with my mother and two of her sisters yesterday, I remembered my first attempt into getting busy on the dance floor when I was still a wee lad. It was thanks to another set of sisters, Edna and Rita, my aunt's kids, that I hit the floor to twist the night away waaaaaaay back when in - well, I think it was 1965.
As memorable as the image of dancing may be, the music that was played is just as vivid and it marked my first encounter with the soulful R&B sounds of Motown. (Be sure to check out the video at the bottom of this post, in all it's black and white glory.)
Here's the scene - a high school room, in the late spring I think, in Crossville. I have no idea how I ended up in the charge of my cousins that day, but there I was. It was getting close to the end of the day and some agreement had been made by teachers and students that music and dancing would be allowed for a short time. I imagine today the teacher would be fired and the students the victims of national media scrutiny for such hedonistic, extra curricular actions.
The students were allowed to bring in their 45s (no, not guns), though my aunt wondered if each kid brought in 45 recordings each to be played -- no, these were tiny vinyl discs played at 45rpm on a belt-driven turntable fitted with these stubby metal adapters and the sound came out of a single mono speaker. Sounds ancient today - it was back when rock and roll was in its infancy, though in a skyrocketing move to the top of the pop culture, when singles were still a mostly new way for records to be sold. You didn't download it - you bought these li'l discs in paper sleeves in grocery stores and drug stores since record stores were something only major metropolitan cities possessed.
So, there I was, a newbie to the dance and rock world, watching as these older kids (who all seemed like adults to my five-year old mind) hurled their desks and chairs to the sides of the room. The record player was plugged in to the wall outlet, the stack of 45s jammed onto the spindle of the player, and shoes went flying - it was easier to find a groove and move just wearing socks. Seems there was even a kind of Soul Train solo dance show, as kids lined up on either side of the room and we all took turns showing off our painfully white-people dance moves.
A lifetime of technology has been developed and taken hold since then. Today, music is downloaded onto your portable phone, and many high school or younger kids can videotape themselves with that same phone, dancing or singing along to the music and then post those videos in dozens of places on a Webly Wired World. Saw one the other day of some kid dancing along to a revamped hip hop mix of the old 60s tune "If You're Going To San Francisco" -- a weird mix to be sure. And there they are, performing solo like a superstar for all the world to watch.
And Crossville is mighty different too - home to Espresso Bars and Chinese diners. I recall when the big event was to hit the A&W Drive-In and get root beer. Dear God, I'm old.
But it is the music of that day I remember most - the Supremes, the Four Tops, the Temptations, Marvin Gaye, the Miracles. How could anyone stay still hearing those hits? Simple lyrics, yes, mostly about love or the loss of it and some more songs just about dancing itself. Looking back at what the Top 40 hits were that year, the tunes ranged from Buck Owen's "Tiger By The Tail" to Edwin Starr's "Agent Double-O Soul" to the Beatles, the Stones, Otis Redding, The Beach Boys, Sam Cooke and on and on.
Thankfully, even then, most dance steps were all improvised by everyone. So anyone could dance and we sure did. Joyous and unself-conscious, loose and free, I had no idea we were part of a cultural jump that was on the verge of changing the world. For us, it was just good music and laughter and fun and gave even the wee east Tennessee folks like myself a chance to get funky and find soul. We helped make cool a way of life.
That said, here's a sample of the music and the performances, this one from The Temptations (and consider this one a long-distance dedication for her.) Please feel free to dance.
Monday, December 19, 2005
My Way via the President and Paul Anka
In the popular phrasing, it's just "wingnuts" and unpatriotic insanity. What actions can the president legally take concerning wiretaps? Is it, as the president claimed, justified to achieve a speedier result rather than slog thru courts seeking approval?
Newsweek columnist Johnathon Alter notes:
"What is especially perplexing about this story is that the 1978 law set up a special court to approve eavesdropping in hours, even minutes, if necessary. In fact, the law allows the government to eavesdrop on its own, then retroactively justify it to the court, essentially obtaining a warrant after the fact. Since 1979, the FISA court has approved tens of thousands of eavesdropping requests and rejected only four. There was no indication the existing system was slow—as the president seemed to claim in his press conference—or in any way required extra-constitutional action."
Uh-oh. Which law applies to who for what? What may appear to be real trouble may just be so confusing for the average American that all this uproar is merely to be another funky story for the fringes of BlogLand. Still, the calls for investigations of impeachment are underway.
Is it just me, or can you hear the strains of Paul Anka's "My Way" playing behind the president as he speaks?
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.
I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!