Banning Science and Mr. Coffee

Are science education in our schools and scientific curiosity in general being sacrificed in service to Fearful America?

As a result of state laws attempting to squash the home-made production of methamphetamine, once commonly obtained items like beakers and vials, as well as science programs in schools, are now part of an ever-growing list of banned items. Wired magazine talks about the issue here, noting:

"In the meantime, more than 30 states have passed laws to restrict sales of chemicals and lab equipment associated with meth production, which has resulted in a decline in domestic meth labs, but makes things daunting for an amateur chemist shopping for supplies. It is illegal in Texas, for example, to buy such basic labware as Erlenmeyer flasks or three-necked beakers without first registering with the state’s Department of Public Safety to declare that they will not be used to make drugs. Among the chemicals the Portland, Oregon, police department lists online as “commonly associated with meth labs” are such scientifically useful compounds as liquid iodine, isopropyl alcohol, sulfuric acid, and hydrogen peroxide, along with chemistry glassware and pH strips. Similar lists appear on hundreds of Web sites.

“To criminalize the necessary materials of discovery is one of the worst things you can do in a free society,” says Shawn Carlson, a 1999 MacArthur fellow and founder of the Society for Amateur Scientists. “The Mr. Coffee machine that every Texas legislator has near his desk has three violations of the law built into it: a filter funnel, a Pyrex beaker, and a heating element. The laws against meth should be the deterrent to making it – not criminalizing activities that train young people to appreciate science.”

Or making coffee. Yeah, I wonder if lawmakers considered banning, say Mason jars, too.

Couple that story with others, such as this one, which questions whether any of the recent alleged terrorist plots were even possible:

"I don't think these nut jobs, with their movie-plot threats, even deserve the moniker "terrorist." But in this country, while you have to be competent to pull off a terrorist attack, you don't have to be competent to cause terror. All you need to do is start plotting an attack and -- regardless of whether or not you have a viable plan, weapons or even the faintest clue -- the media will aid you in terrorizing the entire population."

An ever-confusing alarmist mindset will not serve anyone except those who use terrorism as political tactic.

Demonizing science can only dumb down the country. Replacing science with superstition isn't moving forward, it's racing backwards in time and abandoning rational thought.

Is this perhaps why we have a growing culture which is embracing ideas such as the one being offered in a 'museum' in Kentucky, where claims are made that the reason the T. Rex had long sharp teeth was so it could eat coconuts.

Camera Obscura: 21st Century Movie Mayhem

Time again to wade deep into the shallow end of movies.

Oh, the things I watch so you don't have to, and the things you (meaning The Public) watch which I take in many months after the movie is on The Hot List. All that and more is here in this regular Friday feature.

Let's tackle a new movie first, like the based-on-a-really-bad-video-game - "D.O.A." "D.O.A." is a video game about ... uh, well,chicks in skimpy outfits who fight in tournaments, and there are like 4 or 5 game 'sequels' including one involving volleyball. They could have just called the game Nekkid Fu-Fightin' Chix, but I guess D.O.A. sounds ... more clinically violent. The movie offers up Jamie Pressley, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance and Eric Roberts (as the Bad Guy), and is directed by fight choreographer Corey Yuen. And boasts 4, count 'em, 4 screenwriters. It was supposed to be released last October, but distributors wisely reset the date for the summer.

Why make the movie? I think it has something to do with the fact that Maxim magazine makes money, that kung fu movies make money, and that America loves sex and violence. Especially when there is absolutely no logic, narrative or reason for the sex or the violence. Here's one write-up of the plot which made me laugh out loud: "Three female fighters are chosen to take part in DOA: Christie Allen, a sexy jewel thief, Tina Armstrong, a tough-as-nails pro-wrestler and Kasumi, a Ninja princess."

Yuen is a highly imaginative fight director, and pre-adolescent boys who pay (repeatedly) to see this PG-13 hoo-ha will be in Heaven. Fighting. With Chicks.

The reviews are in for the new Fantastic Four movie and they are not fantastic. They are really bad. Clocking in at 87 minutes, the movie is apparently still too long according to some critics. I may go see it, but only because Silver Surfer is an old favorite of mine. The good news is the Silver Surfer will be getting his own movie, with "Babylon 5" writer J. Michael Straczynski providing the script.

As I am an inclusive person, here's a movie for the women -- a movie of nekkid dudes in an action setting!! There are plenty of bare butts, ripplin' muscles and even a love story in the fresh to DVD "Apocalypto." It's a bizarre mish-mash of history and hysteria, and director Mel Gibson provides heaps of torture and dismemberment in his .... well, it isn't really an Epic, though it has Epic Moments.

I will say however that the visual style and cinematography are so good, there is truly little need for script or subtitles to the movie. It's so well presented that almost anyone can grasp the story and the drama by the vivid pace and graphic violence. Run, Jaguar Paw, Run!!

I liked the movie a little bit better when it was called "The Naked Prey", as that film's Lessons in Empire Building were more clearly expressed. Still, Mel Gibson knows how to ramp up the action and show off the beefcake, so have at it ladies.

For sheer weirdness , the Movie of the Week this time out goes to "The Thirst." The advertisements claim the movie is a cross between "Requiem For A Dream" and "Near Dark", but it isn't nearly that good. It does have a cast of fairly well-known performers Clare Kramer (Glory from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"), Adam Baldwin ("Serenity") and Jeremy Sisto.

The plot is nearly indescribable nonsense -- a stripper and recovering drug addict (Kramer) is turned into a vampire one night. Her boyfriend, who is not a stripper but is a recovering drug addict and nerd, sees his ex-living girlfriend in some skeezy Goth-strip club which looks like some kid's idea of a how a basement in his parent's house could look cool. So he gets turned into a vamp too.

The boyfriend learns his girlfriend is now living among a group of vampires who are hiding out in a church camp for kids, awaiting the first campers of the season. The duo decide to kick the vampire habit and take down the vamp family. Oh, and there's some plot point about only women being able to turn people into vampires, but no one has fangs. There is more arterial blood spray in the movie than I've seen in a long time - this blood sprays out like it was designed by the guy who did the water fountains at the Bellagio in Las Vegas or maybe the guys who did the Mentos and Diet Coke videos.

Oh, and the Vampire Family includes two sort-of Asian Twins who speak gibberish and slither all over the place. Their performance and presence are indicative of the unlimited nonsense in "The Thirst". I've seen worse movies, and that's about the highest praise I can give this one. When vampirism is the cure for rehab, it just is not going to be a good day (or a good movie).

Moon Pie Party and the Bonaroo Festival

Big crowds and much entertainment abounds this weekend in middle Tennessee. You can choose between the constantly growing Bonnaroo festival or the traditional old school celebration of Moon Pies and RC Cola.

For some 13 years, the adoration of the Moon Pie and RC Cola has been held in Bell Buckle, with this year's bash set for Saturday. Events include a coronation of the Moon Pie King and Queen and the World's Largest Moon Pie Cutting Ceremony. Full schedule of events are here at the official site. As a child raised in Tennessee, I myself prefer the full three-course Southern Lunch: a white-bread baloney sandwich, topped off with a Moon Pie for dessert and all washed down with an icy cold RC Cola. I will confess, though, I think the last time I dined in such fashion I was in my teens.

The massive Bonnaroo Festival is underway this weekend in Manchester. Live broadcasts via the web and satellite radio are available for that, and lots of folks are blogging the event, including my fine friend Atomic Tumor (though blogging more at his convenience than for news, and with the style and observations that make AT such a great read). The official 'Roo site has all the news and links to hearing/seeing the event.

I am not sure if anyone has ever live-blogged a Moon Pie Festival, but perhaps it's time.

'Yeah, They're Dead. They're All Messed Up.'

As I am loathe to just jump in and participate in every goofy popular web/blog trend that rolls thru the internets, I am a fan of the zombie movie stuff, and since Newscoma did alert me that today is "Blog Like It's The End of the World!", then I am in. The premise, begun here, is that folks should blog like a full-blown worldwide zombie apocalypse is underway.

And hey, I've joined in for "Talk Like A Pirate Day" and "Wear a Gorilla Suit Day", so then why not this one?

Here's some things to consider -- at best, both electricity and fuel for vehicles will be utterly unavailable within a matter of hours. If you can find a bookstore to loot, which is likely as zombies don't read much, get yourself a copy of Max Brooks "Zombie Survival Guide". It has plenty of helpful info, but your reading time is gonna be limited. If you are traveling in a group, get one person to read as the rest of you flee for safety.

As Max has noted, one of your best defensive weapons will be a good, hefty axe. They need no ammo at all to work well.

Do not spend too much time bemoaning the fact you haven't already read Max's book, or that you did not join up to promote the Zombie Preparedness Initiative. Too late now.

In a recent interview, Max was asked:

"How can a layperson like myself distinguish between a zombie and a bureaucrat?

Max Brooks: Simply put, a zombie will try to eat you, a bureaucrat will try to ruin several hours of your day."

Trust me, a bona-fide zombie is not going to require a lot of pondering on the "hey is that a zombie?" issue. You'll know.

As I was thinking about what to write for this BLITEOTW Day, I wondered how the current media might handle the event. For instance:

The story on FOX News: "Well at long last, the Democrats have shown what they really are and what they really want -- they are the Undead and they want to eat you or convert you. These Demo-Zoms are anti-family and anti-American! .... oh wait, holy crap! Is that Ronald Reagan?? Looks like he has decided to rejoin the Democrat Party. And we can confirm that Hillary Clinton is registering the zombies to vote."

The story on CNN: "We have exclusive footage of the Anna Nicole Smith zombie and she's devouring an attorney and a .... hold on, hold on, Paris Hilton has a comment to make ...."

Drudge Report: Zombies eating brains! Rush Limbaugh, Neal Boortz, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace, Michael Savage, Michelle Malkin, have NOT been attacked!

OK, fine, those are the easy jokes.

Now on to the blogging the zombie doom outside my doorway.

Here's how I would cover it:

"Outta here, suggest you do same."


ADDENDUM: A new zombie-comedy movie is set to open in limited release this weekend, called "Fido". A friend sent me a trailer for the movie, which is set in an alternate 1950s America. Some cosmic debris from a passing comet has turned all the dead into zombies, Fortunately, a giant corporation known as ZomCom, has established a method to 'domesticate' them and they are put to work as servants and menial laborers. A young boy named Timmy finally gets one of his own at his idyllic suburban home, who he calls Fido (played by Billy Connolly). Carrie-Anne Moss plays Timmy's mom. It looks pretty funny, so in honor of this day, here's the trailer:

TN Legislature Rejects Real ID Act

More good news today -- the TN Legislature has adopted a resolution rejecting the Real ID Act!

Mike Silence noted the vote on SJR248 today.

My hearty congratulations to the state - now it's time for the federal representatives from Tennessee to take action and repeal this terrible legislation. Forget asking for federal funds for the act -- repeal it!

Contact your elected officials via these email, phone and faxes.

Local Congressman Designates 'Eagle Day'

1st District Congressman David Davis sponsored a Resolution which Congress adopted last week which is called "American Eagle Day", to be observed on June 20th.

While I have often been critical of the Republican Congressman's take on numerous national issues, I do appreciate his appreciation of one of the nation's symbols, and more importantly, his high praise for the dedicated and successful work of the American Eagle Foundation in Pigeon Forge:

"This non-profit group has worked to establish recovery programs to protect the eagle, and actively cares for many non-releasable birds to ensure they live healthy lives.

“In addition, they operate the largest bald eagle-breeding facility in the world, and have released hundreds of eaglets into the wild with the support of local, state, and federal officials.

“Through the efforts of the American Eagle Foundation and a grassroots effort by children nationwide, I was pleased to offer this legislation for consideration."

Indeed, the organization daily works to protect those beautiful creatures and to expand our ability to nurture and study American Eagles. Their web site is here, though their eagle nest cam is down until next year, but this site is full of information and I encourage you to learn about the group, and support them if you can through donations.

I am also thankful that Rep. Davis' first bill presented to Congress was not some wacky, unwarranted partisan policy. Though it will be noted his resolution isn't really much of a stretch - it's kind of like a bill saying "Hey. I like America and American Eagles" and it's hard to fault an elected official for making that kind of pronouncement.

Now if the Congressman will apply his efforts on some other rather important issues, he'll earn much, much more of my respect.

NOTE: Some other ideas on National Symbols.

Show Me Your Papers, American!

Some controversial new laws for American citizens has me wondering in a most negative fashion about how much government documentation the future American will be required to carry.

I've mentioned some of this before, like the Real ID Act, tacked onto legislation to provide relief funding for victims of the tsunami that struck Southeast Asia. The law mandates every citizen in the U.S. must have this new ID if they wish to open a bank account, travel on an airline, collect social security, enter a federal building, utilize any Federal service, get a job and more. And like Russ McBee has written, this law needs to be repealed.

Over the weekend, I learned about another new law, which I had never heard about, enacted under the title "Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative." Under this law, American citizens who travel to Mexico, Canada, Bermuda, or take cruises to the Caribbean must now have passports to return to the U.S. As of next year, says the law, if you drive or walk into Mexico or Canada, you'll have to have a passport to return.

But this past weekend, the massive backlog of those Americans who seek such passports for travel is so large, the law has been put on hold for a few months until the State Dept. can hire hundreds of new employees to process applications. However:

"This summer also may not spell the end of the passport crunch.

Homeland Security has insisted it plans to go ahead with a January 2008 start for requiring passports at all land border crossing in the United States — a security measure that could trigger a new frenzy of applications."

Since the Real ID law mandates each state create their own IDs, will other states formally accept them since they are from other states? Will we need passports to travel from state to state? Or will we need documents giving permission to travel out of and return to our home states and documents giving permission from the states we wish to visit?

UPDATE: The state legislature has voted to reject the Real ID Act and calls for federal officials to repeal it.

State To Cut Sales Tax, Morristown Set To Raise It

This week the state government crafted a much-agreed to plan for a rollback on state sales tax on food from 6 percent to 5.5 percent. The state Democrats pushed for the rollback, which is likely to be approved by the state and will go into effect on Jan. 1 2008.

The plan only affects food sales tax and customers will get a - somewhat small - break.

Except in Morristown.

Poised to enact a property tax rate increase of 40% the city also plans to provide a referendum (is it one of those city games of a non-binding votes the city has held before if the public rejects it?) which would increase the local option on sales tax on all items by .25 percent and decrease slightly the massive property tax rise. If approved, grocery taxes would be cheaper outside Morristown city limits.

In addition to the sales tax increase and the historically high new property tax on residents and businesses, the city also wants to tax residents and business under a new 'storm water assessment", a new tax based on 'impermeable square footage' for property owners and they hope to net some $400,000 annually. That's about the same amount of they city's 'book-keeping error' from last year.

The first Morristown council meeting to vote on these proposals, June 14 at 4 p.m., is also the same meeting where the public will be allowed for the first time to comment on these widespread tax increases. According to city officials, all these tax increases will only allow the city to operate for 3 years before another increase is needed.

UPDATE: As I mentioned on this topic before, I doubt there will be much if any dissent on the increase, since comparatively the rate in Mo'town is pretty low anyway. I do wonder just how much taxes and the dubious management of city finances must increase before the public does decide to get involved in the issue.

Lessons in Blog Sarcasm

Some things I learned this week:

Wading deep into the mire and muck and into the witless hubris of some blogs dotting the cyberscape which are best referred to as My Sarcastic Ironic Metaphors Are Better Than Yours, I was reminded of three old sayings from old people.

First, from a conversation I had once on my grandfather's farm on summer day -- "Boy," he said, pointing to a steaming cowpie, "That there is bullshit. Now, it ain't got no use unless you use it as fertilizer. The difference between a human and a bull is that a bull will drop a big ol' pile of shit and walk away from it and a person will make a pile of shit and crow about how proud they are of it, polish it all up as if it would turn into solid gold and then go in search of more bullshit to make folks think they have mastered the art of goldsmithing."

Next, a quote from G.B. Shaw - "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

Third, Shaw also wisely notes, "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty and the pig likes it."

POSTSCRIPT: Nope, not going to link to the blogs of not-sarcastic-just bullshit wordgasms helmed by not-Generals and Meatless buffets, because my grandfather taught me to lead folks away and not into shit. Plus many Tennessee blogs including mine have given you much context on this topic all week. (If yer burnin' with desire to know details, use the email option in my profile.)

Camera Obscura - Extended Tom Hanks Pop-Fest; 'Diggers'; Raimi's FEARnet

Two movies fresh to DVD are very much worth the time (and money), one a new indie feature and the other is a massive extended director cut for "That Thing You Do!", written and directed by Tom Hanks, which tracks a 60s-era pop band as they rise and fall.

I highly recommend the Extended Cut for "That Thing You Do!" which was always infectious fun in it's first release. The story follows a 1964-era wanna-be pop band who move from the garage to national stardom in a rapid rise. The rise and the effects of sudden fame do not, however, detail a weird decent into excesses and self-destruction. Hanks, as both writer and director, keeps the focus on how both success and failure and the fleeting nature of fame are met with grace, how the characters treasure the joys the success brings, and how the bonds of friendship endure. Yeah, the movie isn't about people imploding, but about the optimism of the era.

This new DVD also contains the theatrical cut, but the Director's Cut is just a bit better. Either way, this is a real crowd-pleaser. What's new in the nearly 30-minutes of new footage? For one, the central character, Guy (Tom Everett Scott) gets a girlfriend we actually get to see, played by Charlize Theron. There are alos many more funny scenes about the band, about the record label's other acts, and a curious scene wherein manager Mr. White (Hanks) seems to be headed on a date - with a man.

Mix in the already great performances in the movie from Liv Tyler, Steve Zahn, Hanks and more. Hanks' script and direction are great examples of good character writing and sharp pacing.

Also of note, the tune, "That Thing You Do!" was penned by Adam Schlesinger, who has since gone on to play bass in the band Fountains of Wayne. You can order a copy of the movie by clicking on the banner below.



-----

A recent indie feature which played to great response at the SXSW Film Festival last year is now on DVD and is titled "Diggers." The story here is one set in the mid-70s, about longtime friends all back in their Hamptons hometown on the East Coast and trying to make sense of how to continue a multi-generational lifestyle of being clam diggers. The ensemble cast includes Paul Rudd and Maura Tierney (and oh, what a crush I have on her - my brother in law Fred knows her and yes, I've sent messages via Fred that she rocks my world.) Where was I?

Oh yeah - "Diggers" is both dramatic and funny, a realistic slice of life about the burdens of traditioins, the yearning for freedom, and the effects of work and family and was written by (and features) KenMarino, who was a writer-performer on the cable comedy The State. Based partly on his own life, his story can be both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Here's a trailer for "Diggers:"




Order a copy of "Diggers" by clicking on the banner above.

NOTE: My thanks for getting to see both the above mentioned DVDs via M80. I love these guys who have sent me tons of great flicks in all genres and and I'm happy to say we'll continue to work together in the future!

-----

The media empire created by Spiderman and Evil Dead franchises, director Sam Raimi, has expanded this week with the internet creation FEARnet. Web episodes, streaming movies, shorts, trailers, featurettes, behind-the-scenes, news and more from all things spooky from both newcomers and familiar filmmakers. The site started it's first web-series this on Wednesday.

I heart Sam Raimi.

Whew! The Awaited Vol Child Abroad Arrives

Much congrats to the Vol Abroad and family as wee young Cletus (whoops, make that William) has arrived.

Welcome to the planet Wee Vol! Some pics here.

Massive Property Tax Increase for City

I feel so sorry for the city residents in Morristown, since they have been so ill-informed and aware of city government policies but on the other hand, seeking information and accountability does not seem to be a priority either. The result is that the city is about to enact the largest tax increase in the city's history. Still, with the increase, the tax rate on property will be about $1.35 per $100 of assessed value, and perhaps residents are just gladly oblivious.

Oddities abound in the revelation that the city's finances are tanking. Such as - the information was not a topic among the recent city election in May. And since only a few thousand people bothered to even vote anyway, well, it's as if the residents just shrugged and went on to putter in the yard or watch some TV rather than vote. However, since info of an impending financial nightmare was absent, who can blame them?

The budget problems seem to be rooted in pie-in-the-sky projections from the city staff. They adopted previous budget plans based on the idea that sales tax growth would be about 5% over the next 5 years -- a 25% increase in city revenues got zero response from elected officials, though that is a massive increase, essentially doubling the real revenue activity. Local press calls it "stagnant sales tax collection" instead of "normal rate of collection, which was negligently overestimated".

And conveniently for elected officials, all this was absent info until after the elections ended.

A new garbage collection tax on city residents, rising insurance costs for the city, rising costs of (also grossly under-estimated) city-wide sewer system construction, pay hikes for city employees, expanding the ranks of the police department are just some of the post-election realities now being served up to residents.

I have thought for a long time that A.) I am very glad I am a county resident and not a city one. While city actions can have an impact on the county, since I do not live in nor vote in the city affairs, then there is not much I can do or say. Also at the county level, just about all those in charge of running the county are elected and not appointed, which leads me to the next point; B.) The source of the problem in my opinion is that the elected city council and mayor positions have no, or limited, impact on city policies and operations. The city's administrator runs the show and no one votes for who has that job other than the council itself, whose knowledge of the city's affairs are all filtered through that same administrator.

Yet continuing to rely on the people who failed you in such a large way -- would that happen in the private sector? I seriously doubt it. The overall cost of taxation may be small, but the mistakes that led to the budget woes were preventable. And the burden of fixing the mess is landing on the residents rather than on those who cause the mess.

WKRN About To Lose Out

Terrible news from Brittney, who is resigning as blog hostess at Nashville Is Talking. She has been needlessly beaten and abused of late. I hope WKRN-TV realizes they need to rally to support her in a major way rather than allow her to be cut loose.

I respect her viewpoint and reasoning on wanting to go. The threats and hatred are frightening. Which again means to me the management at WKRN need to celebrate, elevate and embrace the enormous success her work has created. Like some others, I wonder if the new management at the station is pushing for her to go instead. Their loss. And a major one.

UPDATE: Fortunately, I do not think her voice could ever be silenced. In fact, she'll be getting a bit more kick ass at her own place, Sparkwood & 21.

Random Points on the Map of Joe

Is anything really random? Or is something else, like Mitochlorians maybe, coursing through us to design some vast unknowable quilt of life?

I do know a young and growing boy who is named Random, but I digress.

From the internets arrives today a meme, a tag event, from the impressive pages of Newscoma. The instructions are as follows:

"I just need to quickly write 8 random facts/habits about myself, then tag 8 people. If I tag you, you had better play."

Okey doke, I'm on it, NC.

1 -- First, I must say a random fact is that right here on the floor by my foot there has been a copy of "Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III" in the Uncut VHS version and it has been there for months now. It has not moved and I've been watching it daily and it just stays right where it is. I don't think I've watched anything on VHS on more than two years ... wait, no, I take that part back. I did watch my VHS copy of John Woo's "Hard Boiled" about two weeks ago. When Chow Yun-Fat plays a cop named Tequila and ends up rescuing babies from a maternity ward during a bajillion-gun slo-mo shoot-out, you have some serious entertainment. Viggo Mortensen is in "Leatherface" and the movie features the line "The Saw Is Family" but I still have yet to place that VHS in the VCR and watch it, so it just lays there like some demented dust-bunny.

2 -- Can a habit be random? I must remember to think about that.

3 -- This year I have not been fishing yet, which is a habit I used to have more intensely. I love to go fishing and am surrounded by some most excellent lakes. So I will have to go to it soon. Have I ever told you about the time I went fishing and lost my pants and had to run naked to my truck? It is a true story. I was crossing a dry (I thought) spot in the lake-bed one December day en route to my truck at a nearby state park. The not-dry lake-bed suddenly became an evil mud-bog and I was suddenly stuck chest-deep in the mud. Fearing for my life, the only safety tip I could think of was about what to do if you fell through some ice into a lake, which was to flatten my arms and what was unstuck of my upper body across the muddy ground. So I sank no further. I let go of my tackle box, which was in one hand, and used my fishing pole in the other hand to attempt to leverage my body out of the muck.

That's when I felt my sneakers go. Ah well, I thought, there is no getting those back as 70 percent of my body was still beneath the ground. I could see my truck, about 80 yards away, taunting me. Again, I used my fishing rod to leverage me up and that's when it started -- my jeans slid off of my backside and weirdly cool mud mingled freely with my nether regions and I stopped moving immediately sensing like a bona-fide psychic what would soon be my future mud-slimed naked self standing near the boat ramp of a state park.

I pondered my options for the next few moments. I noted the utter absence of any other people nearby and then considered trying to snake an arm down into the vice-like grip of mud surrounding me to snag the jeans. Putting more of me back into the muck was not an option. With great relief, I recalled that my wallet and my keys to the truck were in my tackle box, which was above ground. I took a deep breath and did what had to be done. Like those earthworms I had, at times, used as bait, I wriggled up from the dirt and mud inch by inch until I had a naked knee on the ground and the wind whipped about my muddy butt. As all of my legs emerged, the hole closed up behind me as if it never existed, my jeans and shoes forever a part of the earth's crust.

I stood for a moment, wearing only a muddy t-shirt, feeling like a primeval creature who dared approach the world bipedally. Snapping back into reality, I bolted for the truck somehow opening my tackle box in mid-flight to get my keys out. And then I realized that even once I reached the sanctuary of my vehicle, I still faced about a 15 minute ride home through heavy commuter traffic naked and covered in lake mud. Also, the impending naked run from truck to house. This was not over. I never veered from my goal, however. I was nakedly committed to finishing this episode. Suffice to say that driving naked was kinda fun, but not fun like you might repeat the act. True, I may have smiled more at the vehicles around me as I steered through school zones and shopping districts, especially when I was stopped at traffic lights. Finally home, I appreciated the usefulness of pants in a new way and to this day know that the lake ate my jeans and sneakers with extreme prejudice. Still, I survived to tell this tale.

4 -- Wow that last point was way to long. As a rule though, I have never ever fished naked. Just went home naked once.

5 -- I must remember to ask the guy at the record store when the new Beastie Boys is coming out. I wanna get that. Their new one will be an all instrumental album and those boys can play some funky grooves. (I really should not have told that story about me being naked.)

6 -- Really, I'm thinking I should not have told that.

7 -- This isn't going well is it? it's turned from a random fact/habit list into something else, but on the plus side, I'm almost done.

8 -- Whew! I reached number 8 and am almost done here. OK, one more random fact/habit. Ummm ... how about .... I collect old post cards and ... nope, all I can think now is how embarrassed I am that I told that naked fishing episode. Damn.

OK, that's my fulfillment of the Newscoma Directive. Next -- name some other blog writers to take on this project. How about:

Les Jones

Salem's Lots

The Freedonian

Juliepatchouli

Tennessee Jed

Cherokee Sage Woman

Fine, that's only six. But I gotta go lay down now.

Wacky Funtime Blog Comments

It did not take long yesterday for the comments regarding a possible election race between two former Tennessee senators, Thompson and Gore, turned into a mish-mash of gibbering madness. While I appreciate that this humble but lovable blog was featured in the post at No Silence Here, I am even more grateful I did not get the comments that were generated there!

All that noise would have given me a headache.

Hooo-eeee, people. Such rabid indignation and creative assertions of fanciful notions do not make me swell with pride as reasoned discourse turns into ... well, I am not sure what all that noise is except noise. If one or the other of these Non-Official Candidates gets your corn to popping, I am happy for you. Still, if the talk in those comments represents the views of people who actually vote, then no wonder we get the politicians we get.

PS - I better give credit to The Editor for that "corn popping" phrase as she is the only one I've heard use it before.

UPDATE: More fine examples of comment insanity were visited today upon NiT. Such as "And since we’re all being candid with each other, let me just say how much I revile “The South” and everything it stands for. Your whole claim to distinction versus other states is based on a failed revolt to keep your abominable practice of institutional racism, which most of you now fondly remember as your golden age. If there’s a problem here it’s only that Reconstruction ever ended.

Hoo-eee. Is the heat? Lack of fiber?

Tobacco Battle in Legislature

Last night the state Legislature gave their approval to raising the tax on cigarettes by 62 cents per pack. The increase is largely meant to do one thing - provide more money for education. Democrat Senator Jim Kyle sent an email out late last week noting that the new revenues would increase the state portion paid for the BEP funding formula for schools from 65 to 75 percent.

"By increasing state funds and reducing local government funds, your local government benefits tremendously. Home owners should expect and should demand lower property tax payments in the future because their local government will have a smaller obligation on its largest budget item.

----

"What does this say about the Tennessee Senate? What does this say about Democrats and Republicans? I would say that it speaks volumes as to who can be trusted to lead our state. Please remember, for months Republicans said there were other ways to finance the education plan and the tobacco money was not needed, but in the end, Republicans did not fight the tax; they did not offer alternatives to the tax; they simply stood on the sidelines."

Tom Humphrey writes about the fierce battle in the Legislature, as Republicans attempted to tack on amendments to the bill, led mostly by Greeneville Republican David Hawk. Hawk wanted to earmark $100 million to go to the state's schools for construction costs. Since there are 195 school districts, the amount going to each school would have barely been a percentage of the typical costs of construction projects are in the tens of millions of dollars.

Paying more into the BEP at the state level means lower costs for funding by local governments, which typically pay for school funding increases through higher property taxes or through taxes for things like local wheel taxes. But will we actually see a local tax decrease? I sort of doubt it as local governments will likely decide they have other needs which MUST be paid for.

So smoke 'em if ya got 'em and if you can find a place that allows to smoke, and thanks for Volunteering to pay a new education tax.

Also see a wrap-up at Volunteer Voters.

The Hunt for Fred November

After watching former Tennessee senator Fred Thompson speak to a gathering of some 400 Virginia GOP fundraisers, I have realized what office he is seeking. He may not be seeking the office of George W. Bush, but he is certainly aiming to take over from Dick Cheney.

With grim faced-seriousness, Thompson was doing a first rate impression of Cheney. He blamed all ills on terrorism, Democrats, the Media and activist-judges. One comment that I found most spin-heavy and content-empty was the one where he railed against the Judiciary Branch, saying they had their priorities all wrong, that the government could seize private land for private development thru eminent domain but if you want to put a Nativity Scene on the Courthouse Lawn, you cannot. Huh??

It was a pure Rove-Speak event. While I was most curious to watch Thompson campaigning, what I saw was rather a sad continuation of the polices of the Cheney White House. Much anger, and much disappointment that the "media" was not telling the Good Stories.

And that pending Immigration Bill being pushed by President Bush? Thompson said it was all Teddy Kennedy's fault.

Guess he did not read the editorial last week by GOP guru Peggy Noonan, who said Bush's bill was the last straw and a sign for All Good Conservatives to Abandon Bush. She wrote that really, her disillusion (and the country's) has been growing for years:

"What I came in time to believe is that the great shortcoming of this White House, the great thing it is missing, is simple wisdom. Just wisdom--a sense that they did not invent history, that this moment is not all there is, that man has lived a long time and there are things that are true of him, that maturity is not the same thing as cowardice, that personal loyalty is not a good enough reason to put anyone in charge of anything, that the way it works in politics is a friend becomes a loyalist becomes a hack, and actually at this point in history we don't need hacks."

Well then - welcome to the America that George Hath Made, Peggy.

You can watch Fred Thomspson's pre-campaign speech here at C-SPAN's Road to the White House.

For a news round-up of CNN's debate for Democrat candidates last night, go here.

--P.S. The phrase "Hunt for Fred November" was sported on buttons at the Virginia event for Thompson.

Camera Obscura - Knox Geek Alert; 'Battlestar" Ends

Geek Alert!!

Fans of comics, sci-fi movies and TV shows and even 'rasslin (?) will be all over the Knoxville Convention Center starting today and continuing this weekend as they host Adventurecon. One name that caught my attention was Irvin Kershner, who directed The Empire Strikes Back, and of course a host of Star Wars celebs, like Anthony Daniels (C3PO), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) and the guy in the Vader suit for the first three movies, David Prowse. (David was also in A Clockwork Orange, too). Also set to attend is actor Billy Dee Williams.

Another name I immediately noticed was Caroline Munro, a Hammer horror gal who was in one of my favorite old horror movies, Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter. Of course she was a Bond girl, starred in the very odd "Starcrash" and in "Golden Voyage of Sinbad" and many more genre flicks.

From Star Trek, there's Walter Koenig and Denise Crosby. A full list of celebs is here at the Adventurecon site. Comic artist John Romita Jr, and many more newer artists and writers are also scheduled to appear. Plus tons of dealer tables and lots and lots of new toys!!! (Oh, I mean "Collectibles")

-----

Since I'm here in cult film fans and geeks, allow me to point you to the first preview of the new Star Wars show, The Clone Wars. (At this time, no network has signed on to air the show ... maybe a direct-to-DVD release??)

-----

Director Darren Aronofsky's science fiction movie from 2006, "The Fountain" is out on DVD and I saw it last week. It stars Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz as a couple whose love story is charted over a thousand year time frame via three parallel stories from the past, the present and the future.

Praise for this movie has been quite large, but I have to say that although I did enjoy the movie, it all kind of fell flat for me. The movie does have much to recommend it for viewing, though for me what most viewers saw as the 'future' time-frame set in a weird bubble-like spaceship I interpreted completely differently, as more of a spiritual landscape of two loving souls searching for each other over time and space.

Acting and effects are all excellent - it just sort of seemed like it needed one more script revision to express itself better. I would say this is one of those movies that a viewer will either simply love or truly hate and find boring. I'm more in the middle - call it an Good Try Which Fails.

-----

Makers of the highly acclaimed "Battlestar Galactica" series have announced the upcoming fourth season will be the last for the show:

"This show was always meant to have a beginning, a middle and, finally, an end,” read a statement issued by executive producers Ronald Moore and David Eick. “We’ve decided to … conclude the show on our own terms."

-----

And a favorite mash-up video for you: Ron Burgundy as the King of Sparta!

Turn All The Web Into LOLCats

Goofiness is one of my close friends. So what follows on this post is me letting that friend take over a post here.

Via an entry on Metafilter, one intrepid web walker devised a page which can convert any RSS feed, Facebook, Twitter, news feed, CraigsList personals, and just about any page on the web into goofy pictures of cats to go with the headlines on post entries. I had much laughter doing that. The following picture was from one of my entries this week:

Oddly, when I popped in the Instapundit address, all I got was the constant repetition of this picture, with no headlines. Guess this is just InstaCats, hard at work.

Go here if you wish to play the game.

2008 Primaries In 2007

The race for the 2008 Presidential election, as if ya didn't know, is underway NOW. Why is it here 16 months before the actual November election day?

It's because the nominees of the current two party system will be locked into place within the next 7 to 8 months. Yesterday the state of Georgia moved their primary date to Feb. 5th, the same as Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, California. Delaware, Idaho, Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York , Oklahoma and Utah. Even earlier, on Jan. 29th, primaries are to be held in Florida and South Carolina and before then, election primaries will be held in Iowa, Nevada and New Hampshire. Even more changes are ahead as another 12 state legislatures have pending bills to move their primaries - which means nearly 40 states would have their primaries by Feb 5th.

The candidates who win primaries then - about 8 months from now - will be the two who battle it out between February and November. So the campaign is in full tilt mode today. And I think John H. pegged another reason for the push "most of America is ready to get rid of the current bunch."

Given the more immediate nature of media today, with instant news and instant web reports, a candidate with deep pockets of quick cash could easily wait until December to announce and still gain the edge by February. In fact, the less time a candidate has to endure the daily grind of media and public grilling, the better their chances. And given the current timeline of primaries, it will be that grind over the next 7 months which will lead to the two nominees. And all the smart money today, approaching the first of June, says the race is wide open and anyone of the announced and unannounced candidates could be their party's winner. That has to churn the insides of campaign organizers and candidates.

This summer and early fall will make or break a campaign.

That's why the debates are taking place now and the heat of summer has not yet begun, and it will be getting hotter than seven hells for all of the Seekers for the next seven months. The web will roil with riotous upheaval -- and I think there's a reason for that too: no candidate or party has a really solid idea on what to do next to resolve the issues of the Bush administration, though all of the voters know there is a hell of a mess to clean up.

Horace Silver Quintet

While I often link to videos at YouTube (as I did yesterday) that might have some political statement, I have found most often I go the site to watch a vast collection of musicians often captured live onstage. Some web users have patiently and diligently brought out many incredible performances. From Miles Davis to Stan Getz or Thelonious Monk, Sonny Rollins, Bill Evans and many others I could name, there is a galaxy of musical genius to witness. (As opposed to watching say, the blunders of politics or just average folks yakking at a webcam.)

Tonight as dusk was approaching I was driving thru town and listening to the Horace Silver Quintet play "Senor Blues". Something about that jazzy, bebop sound and summer nights can coalesce into amazing moments. So, web junkie that I've become, I searched YouTube for some Horace Silver performances and found this incredible performance before a Dutch crowd in 1959. I also highly recommend Horace's official web site - much history and inspiration about the legendary performer can be found there.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Acting Candidate

When a politician comes out in a coyish, alluring way to announce maybe he'd like to run for and become the President of the US of A, I immediately distrust them. Either on the bus or off, as Ken Kesey used to say.

The coyish-candidate is Fred Thompson. He's a good actor. So is he acting like he's being coy or is he really being coy? He certainly acts patriotic in a video released in 2003. In response to his video, is this one:



The Fred-wooers and war-lovers are up in arms by Kleinheider's post about the above video.

My only complaint about that video is it needs to include reference to other soldiers, not just the American military. While I absolutely respect a person's decision to serve in the military, there are other ways to defend and fight for freedom, democracy and human rights. You, dear reader, know this and if you do not, it's time to re-evaluate your worldview.

It's comforting to think our military presence in Iraq is made of patriotic volunteers and no doubt there are many, many of such folk. There are also over 126,000 highly paid members of privately contracted "security forces" at work in Iraq too, funded by our tax dollars. And the more than half a million soldiers are still not enough to achieve whatever definition of success the current administration in Washington is seeking.

But for Fred to wax sentimental (act sentimental?) in his courtship with the presidency is rather hollow. Denigrating other groups, like students or reporters, is too much of a repetition of the currently divisive nature of Washington politics. If that's Fred's take on America, I hope he stays on the sidelines. Being dramatic is easy work. Tackling the issues and shaping the policies both at home and around the world is much more difficult and complex.

UPDATE: Radio talker Steve Gill rips angrily at both Kleinheider and Brittney for daring to even consider posting the Thomspson video. How dare K and B express an opinion??!! Especially on the internet!! Especially about a non-announced candidate for president!?!?!? Gill sets his Blamethrower to full power, which is the mundane status quo of talk radio (is it time to start calling these shows Hate Radio?)

So You Think You're a Star Wars Fan?

30 years, six movies, a gajillion product tie-ins and fan conventions which seem to occur every few seconds at some place on the globe -- all that has made George Lucas' "Star Wars" a bona-fide legend (and made Lucas one rich man). Memories of the first film (now known as Episode IV) have been abundant this weekend as fans mark the anniversary of the release of the original film.

I have my own personal memory. It started on a summer night in Newport, TN when some friends and I went to watch a movie at the Woodzo Drive-In. I can't recall what movie we went to see, but I vividly recall seeing the preview for "Star Wars." First, though, a little background. Way back then, the Woodzo was adjacent to another drive-in, called Scenic Drive-In. That drive-in exclusively showed soft-core porn - which was a little odd in that the screen actually faced the highway, so anyone driving past might catch a glimpse of a 40-foot close-up of a boob or butt check or even more.

Anyway, on that night, my friends and I were scooting across the fence between the Woodzo and the Scenic to watch some movie with naked girls. However, just before I scooted across, I happened to hear and see the first images of "Star Wars." The announcer was talking about aliens from 1,000 worlds and spaceships firing off lasers and robots talking and walking around and that preview just froze me to the spot. For the first time in my young life, thoughts of naked women became a secondary issue.

I was friends with the owner of the Woodzo, so I immediately went into the projection booth to talk to him about the preview he had just shown:

"Harold, what was that movie?"

"It's called The Star Wars," he said.

"When will you show it?? I have to see it!"

"Well, not fer a while. All the hard-top theatres will get it first, but it'll come here later this summer." (NOTE: hard-top theatre is an indoor theatre.)

By the time it did arrive at the Woodzo, I had already seen it in a hard-top theatre, which was a good thing, since it was nearly impossible to get to the Woodzo in time for a parking spot for their showings as the movie was a monster hit by then. And yes, I was one of those legions of folks who saw the movie about 40 times during it's first release.

Still, I often ponder if it was the movie or the marketing for it which made it such an icon of entertainment. The marketing continues full tilt to this day. As the photo above shows how folks today can order Star Wars Halloween costumes for their pets.

Back in the early days, you could even buy your little girl Star Wars Underoos. Insects now have scientific names based on Star Wars' character names.

The inter-web, of course, is loaded with collectibles, parodies, jokes, essays and more - there is a four-page collection of links here at Look At This (such as the rock band that wears Star Wars costumes and is named AeroSith) and the Star Wars related theme posts on MetaFilter is likewise a huge list of links.

One odd bit of movie trivia I learned from watching the movie and it's sequels so much was the inclusion of a sound effect scream, known as The Wilhelm Scream, The scream is in all the Star Wars movies, but dates back to the early 1950s and is still being used today, in movies like "Reservoir Dogs", "Spiderman", and "Shrek the Third". A full list of the movies with the scream is here, and the history of the scream here. Whose voice made the scream? Best bets say Sheb Wooley.

So these days, I divide the fan loyalty (or madness) into two groups: those who know about the Wilhelm Scream connection and those who don't.

RELATED: Some other remembrances are here from Kat at NiT.

Music For A Long Summer Weekend

Camera Obscura - True Obscurity; Bloody Rambo; Movie News;Sanjaya Hoax

One legend in Hollywood lore is that an actor/actress who wins an Oscar follows the win with a role so strange in a movie so odd that it could scramble a viewers' brain. Some examples are Michael Caine's appearance in "Jaws IV" after winning one or Halle Berry's role in "Catwoman" following her win for "Monster's Ball."

But these all pale in comparison to the movie "Shadowboxer" with Helen Mirren, released just prior to her win in "The Queen." (NOTE: The director of "Shadowboxer", Lee Daniels, was recently in Tennessee, making the movie, called "Tennessee" which features Mariah Carey.)

Now I really love Mirren's work - she can plan darn near any part and bring something fantastic to the screen. But "Shadowboxer" is a movie that could kill a career, turn your brain upside down, and is nearly impossible to explain - just as it is nearly unwatchable. A viewing of the movie from start to finish should earn the viewer some kind of Endurance Oscar.

It's oddity and strangeness did compel me to watch it all, as I kept wondering just how strange it could become and with each passing scene it exceeded my expectations. Strange was just the beginning point of this odyssey into the bizarre. The cast includes some other notables, and more on that in a minute. First, let me try and lay down the schematic here.

It opens with a young boy toying with a real gun. Dad enters and warns him said gun is no toy. Mom looks on fearfully. Fast forward to the future and young boy is now a grown man, played by Cuba Gooding Jr (yet another Oscar winner who just can't seem to connect to good movies at all anymore). Gooding now enacts odd criminal plots with Helen Mirren, who, we learn as the movie continues via moody montages and artsy flashbacks, is both his step-mother and lover and teacher.

What is she teaching him? How to be a hitman. Seems Mirren is a top-tier hirtman. They share weird assignments and then she bathes Gooding when he's feeling low. Just one of many scenes which leave the viewer .... well, confused barely describes it.

Oh, and we also learn Mirren is dying of cancer. It's like some weird blend of a Lifetime movie and a Steven Segal script or something.

The daring couple get a contract to kill some other crooks who have angered their crook-boss, played by Stephen Dorff. Like Gooding, Dorff seems to have a knack for finding the strangest of scripts. In addition, the contract calls for the killing of Dorff's girlfriend, who is pregnant. (The girlfriend is played by actress, Vanessa Ferlito who had a short but excellent performance in the "Death Proof" portion of "Grindhouse", and in "Descent", and I hope she continues to find better films.)

As the crooks are killed off one-by-one, Mirren walks in on said pregnant gal and just as Mirren takes aim at her, the gal's water breaks and Mirren decides to help birth the child -- "Get some water and towels!" she tells her confused partner/step-son/lover Gooding.

Not to give too much of the plot and story away (yeah, like anyone other than me would watch this from start to finish) Mirren and Gooding take the mother and child to a new home with new identities and only take occasional hit-jobs to keep the family financially well off. "You take care of her!" Mirren says of their semi-adopted young woman, and then there's a scene where Gooding and Mirren get naked and do the nasty in a public park while blossoms and such flutter artfully in the breeze and Gooding then shoots Mirren in, I suppose, an act of mercy to avoid a painful death by cancer.

Other casting oddities here are Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("Brick", "The Lookout"), who plays a doctor to the criminal underworld and his girlfriend is hilariously played by Mo'Nique.

This movie almost falls into the neo-exploitation genre of movies like "Hustle and Flow" and "Black Snake Moan." And it absolutely qualifies as Obscure Find of the Month.

------

OTHER MOVIE NEWS

Quentin Tarantino showed an expanded full length version of "Death Proof", from the "Grindhouse" double feature at the Cannes Festival this week. Judging from reports, producer Harvey Weinstein says the full version is better.

--

Reviews are in for the new Coen brothers feature, "No Country For Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy and the reviews are solid. I look forward to this one big time:

"Cinematographer Roger Deakins captures everything from mid-day open-sky vistas to claustrophobic night time urban action; in timing and tension, No Country for Old Men is one of the most suspenseful films the Coens have ever made, which says a lot. Cormack McCarthy's novel has also been impressively well-adapted -- improved and altered, but nonetheless full of McCarthy's clear, concise yet poetic voice."

--

Looks like the FOX network will try another sci-fi series. This time, it's a spin-off from "The Terminator" series called "The Sarah Connor Chronicles." A nifty preview reel was on YouTube earlier this week but got taken down. Sarah Connor will be played by Lena Headey ("300", "Brothers Grimm") and yes I have a crush on her. A future cyborg sent back to help the Connor family is played by Summer Glau, who was River in the series "Firefly." Sadly, given FOX's track record for sci-fi, this show will air four episodes and then be cancelled.

--

A preview which has been left on YouTube this week is for the movie "Rambo 4". Jeez, does Stallone look rough and old and rather ill. The preview also boasts buckets of gore and violence, especially the shot of a guy getting turned to hamburger meat while sitting in a jeep.Reports say they are fighting hard to keep it from being rated NC-17. And his co-star is the lovely Julie Benz, who was Darla in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" TV show.

--

Clip of the week -- Was Sanjaya of "American Idol" a Joke??? Or is the whole dang show a joke at the expense of music itself ....

Porn, Politics and the Internets

I have to share a discovery I made this week. I suppose it should not be surprising news to some, but it perplexes me.

Early this week, I mentioned the erotic encounter reported by Knoxville porn starlet Barbie Cummings and a member of the Tennessee Highway Patrol. The report was just too dang odd and inherently funny not to mention. Since then, this humble blog has been swamped at historical levels as readers sought details of the encounter. Visitors from every state and all US territories, from China, Europe, Africa, Australia, Asia, South America, and the UK all feverishly arrived here looking for info. I'm pretty sure if web access were available to penguins and polar bears, this blog would have crashed my server.

It's isn't news that there is porn and more porn in every corner of the internet. And I have pondered the ramifications of renaming this page Cup of Joe Porn just to drive traffic here, but I won't do that .... really, I won't.

And make no mistake, I am delighted that the abundance of visitors found this humble and lovable blog. But it is slightly disappointing that bajillions of people place a higher need on finding porn than on any other topic previously posted here. (It is worth noting too that the previous record holding post on these pages was the link to a page that features submissions of pictures of cats that look like Hitler. An insatiable desire to find Hitleresque cat pics and porn doesn't exactly boost my overall optimism in web-aware humans. It makes me wonder if there is some nefarious site of Hitler Porn which gathers billions of readers.)

And hey, if pixels of porn fill your personal needs, I hope at least such binary urges harm no one. And if only a teeny percentage of such web-walkers land here and decide to read some other posts available here or link to the sites I offer, then I am grateful for that, at least.

What I have learned does indeed add to my understanding of one peculiarity. Namely, how it is a U.S. President can be relentlessly excoriated, vilified and become an obsessive focus of humanity when linked to an episode of Oval Office erotic encounters -- as opposed to a US President who has distorted the Constitution, consistently and deliberately mislead the public and the Congress in national and international affairs, appointed incompetent leaders to jobs in emergency management and other vital offices, embrace secret prisons and generally ignore realities by the truckload. It appears such acts are just too boring and fleshy games of slap and tickle in the White House need little understanding by base minds.

It's as if the public expects a preponderance of corruption of power and blindly accept it as normal. Make the lie large enough and few will care. And scandal now is the domain of the mundane expletive or celebrity haircut.

Cable Bill Removed From Legislature, For Now

Reports say this morning that the bill to alter the laws regarding cable franchises in Tennessee has been withdrawn by it's sponsor. R. Neal has a good round-up of coverage on this action.

I hate to admit it, but I think it's a pipe dream to imagine the massive public opposition, along with the firm opposition from city and county governments statewide were the cause of this removal. I do think such opposition helped. The plan will be back next session, I am sure.

To me, that indicates the lobbying efforts from AT&T will fade from the front pages of media and blogs and will now become an assault on individual members of the General Assembly - in other words, they are going to try this again after they can harass members in private. That will also mean the company will be spending big bucks to inundate the residents of Tennessee with propaganda promoting their plan.

The fact remains, under current law, AT&T could, if they wanted, apply to cities and counties for franchise rights. The current law does not prevent them from seeking to become legal providers. The real question for residents and legislative members is why AT&T does not do so.

See also previous posts.

Creation of New State Agency Behind OK of Cable Bill?

A new law which takes the cable TV business away from local controls and local voices sailed out of the Tennessee Senate Committee yesterday and looks to be headed to a vote by the full legislature - which, I expect means it will be adopted and made law.

As I've written before, I have no opposition to AT&T wanting to jump into the cable business - but to make that decision only after state law is altered, only after local control of cable franchises has been removed, provides no benefit to the consumer and muddles the procedures for how such franchises would be held accountable.

Yesterday I mentioned some of the reasons the Senate Committee chaired by East Tennessee Republican Steve Southerland gave in to the pressures of the high-dollar lobbying by AT&T. Senator Southerland, along with Sens. Beavers, Bunch, Crutchfield, Stanley and Wilder. Voting no were Sens. Burchett, Burks and Tate.

A plan which would have allowed for the Tennessee Regulatory Committee to provide oversight of the requirements of the now all-but-approved changes to law was scrapped and instead and entirely new state organization will be created to "oversee" the law.

The new group (no mention of it's operational costs and impact on the state budget) will be made up of twelve members nominated by the Tennessee Municipal League (which had opposed the legislation) and the Tennessee County Services Association (despite that counties statewide voted to oppose the bill), and by the State Comptroller, the commissioner of the Dept. of Economic and Community Development, and the chairman of the TRA.

Just fascinating how opposition to the bill was transformed once some of those opposing it would now be part of a creating the special government committee.

In Tom Humphrey's report today in the Knoxville News Sentinel, he has this marvelous quote from AT&T president in Tennessee, Marty Dickens:

"the Senate committee's vote demonstrates the legislators are listening to consumers"

I have heard precious few "consumers" advocate this bill. Highly paid lobbyists have been vocal, though, spending millions to push this bill.

And as Humphrey writes, opposition to the bill from Sen. Tim Burchett prompted AT&T to warn him that his opposition would cost him campaign contributions. AT&T attorney Joelle Phillips said nothing inappropriate was done, though, and that her company backs "less government, lower taxes and more freedom."

True, if you think adding a new level of state bureaucracy is "less government". The cost to the budget, unknown. Cost to taxpayers, unknown. Benefits for AT&T - large.

The bill may be voted on in the full legislature Thursday.

NOTE: Sadly, for the first time, my last email to my Senator, Steve Southerland, opposing the bill has gone unanswered.

UPDATE: R. Neal at KnoxViews has more on the topic, noting that despite local government requests for AT&T to go ahead and offer a plan without the new bill in place, AT&T declined.

Battle Intense on Flawed Cable Franchise Change

Once again today, state legislatures take up the issue of some very unwise changes to how cable franchises are provided and regulated. It's been the single most dollar-gulping lobby effort this year in state government, with current spending at just over $4 million. (And that's just the amount as of April of this year.)

Other reports note how intense the battle has become:

"TV4US [an AT&T lobbying firm] has completed two resident mailings. One mailing included an 11-by-5 inch postcard carrying a tear-off postcard to be mailed back to the group. On April 3, the group delivered 14,000 of these return postcards to state legislators. The cards asserted that cable rates have gone down 28% to 42% in communities where competition exists. The cited source is a January 2006 Bank of America Equity Research study. The card asserts that reform laws in other states have brought lower prices and better services.

“The message is completely wrong,” said Stacey Briggs, executive director of the Tennessee Cable Telecommunications Association. The TCTA and municipal groups such as the National Association of Telecommunications Officers and Advisors are critical of such statements, questioning whether those rate estimates include unpublished, short-term acquisition rates. Cable incumbents also note that telephone companies, in discussing their video plans, state they don’t intend to compete on price.

Briggs said 18,000 visitors to the site have opted to send an e-mail or a fax to legislators, arguing against the telco-friendly bills pending in both chambers there.

Two weeks ago, TV4US supporters passed out pink plastic pigs in the legislative plaza in Nashville. The message: When pigs fly, cable rates will go down. Briggs said the effort played upon “consumer misconceptions” that alternative providers will charge lower rates. Few legislators are citing rate cuts as a reason to pass franchising reform, however, he said."

Today, and hopefully not too late, I sent an email expressing my strong opposition to the bill to Commerce, Labor and Agriculture Committee Chairman Senator Steve Southerland. While earlier emails with the Senator contained some doubts the bill would pass, he has over the last few weeks, supplied 10 amendments to the bill which seem aimed at insuring it's passage.

This is the email I sent:
"Dear Sen. Southerland,

I appreciate your previous responses to my emails regarding the proposed change of state law for cable franchises. I remain completely opposed to this new law, for reasons detailed below.

However, I must first express some disappointment and confusion that all the amendments to the Senate bill 1933 were sponsored by you, as you sit as the Chairman of the Commerce, Labor and Agriculture Committee. Rather than standing opposed to this new proposed legislation, you seem to have added 10 amendments which instead attempt to encourage support for the bill.

Countless city governments, county governments (including Hamblen), and organizations like the Tenn. Municipal League have all adopted resolutions in clear opposition to this bill's passage -- did these same groups contact you and ask you to amend the bill for easier passage?

I note that while your amendments did include sections which would not hand over local control of rights-of-way controls, the language does include requirements that any customer must first file complaints about cable service to a city or county government, which would then forward the complaint to the cable provider, and that mediation would then move to the courts if resolutions could not be found. The state, which seeks by this bill to take franchise authority away from local control, is then utterly absent from addressing concerns of customers, putting all burden on local government.

Since locals would then be the ones responsible for any court costs in a losing effort, the locals would have little interest in pursuing such cases. The state, as these amendments make clear, provide no oversight to this plan for state-licensed franchises.

The current laws also require cable franchise holders to develop plans and strategies to expand, or build out, their services to insure the broadest and most comprehensive availability of services. This new bill eliminates such efforts. Since more and more businesses and communities must have internet access in order to compete in our growing global marketplace, to remove such incentives and guarantees will, I fear, only insure that the most rural of areas will be lacking. Rural areas, Senator, are your constituents, those you should be serving.

Also, as written, current cable and internet providers who have local franchise agreements, would now be able to make a state franchise agreement which would also eliminate the requirements to further or continue their efforts to expand services within a service area. How is such a change a benefit to residents and customers?

Could please explain why you found it necessary to add these 10 amendments, which seem aimed at shoring up support for this unwise legislation? Similar bills submitted to states nationwide have failed more often than they have succeeded.

Thanks for your time and your replies to my emails,
Joe Powell

NOTE: The TML Newspaper reports that a condition on build outs was added to the bill by amendment,however, as they report:

""The amendment only required to provide video to 25 percent of the households in which it provides telephone service. This minimal requirement could be fully satisfied by offering service
in just two of the state’s largest markets; providing no assurances
or protections for the remainder of the state. Moreover, the
build out amendment adopted last week does not provide for
any penalty should AT&T fail to meet this meager requirement."

A link to the Senate directory is here.
A link to the House directory is here.

Porn Barbie and the State Trooper

There just aren't many stories in the news in Tennessee about porn stars and the Highway Patrol, but li'l Barbie Cummings is changing all that.

On the Knoxville-based porn starlet's blog entry of May 7th, the actress claims she had a roadside romp with a patrol officer just outside of Lebanon. According to her, she pleasured the patrolman, who took pictures of said pleasuring, which she posted on her blog. (And fine, fine, if you wish to see the porn blog entry, [CORRECTION: after some thought, I decided it was bad ju-ju to link to a porn page here, sorry, If you are determined to find it you will, but I won't help!!], I warn you right now, this Barbie is not the one sold in stores, and her blog may make you want to wash your eyes out with bleach.)

Trooper James Randy Moss (heh heh -- 'randy") has been suspended as this event is investigated, although li'l Barbie appears in a Knoxville News Sentinel Article hoisting her copy of the ticket and says "I didn't get out of anything. It was not a trade. Just like a guy - he got his, and I still got the speeding ticket."

The KNS report has other nifty, joke-ready statements, like:

-- She gives her age as 21. (Yeah, once, for a year, about eight or nine years ago, she was 21.)

-- She says once she "advised" the trooper of her career, he let her sit next to him in his patrol car while he brought up her website on his in-car laptop. (So that's what they call it nowadays!)

I had really not noticed this story at all (yes, I avoid watching the local newscasters) until I noticed a dozen or so people searching for "Barbie porn highway patrol" and landing on my page, and found out the grim details. Of all the comments many web sites marking this roadside attraction, the one I liked best was from a fellow who said upon seeing the unclothed Barbie on her blog: "Man, she's not from the Tennessee Valley, she's from Silicone Valley."

Most Conservative and Liberal Places in TN

A question has been posed by a sort of new resident to Tennessee, via KnoxViews, about what is the most Conservative place in Tennessee and what is the most Liberal.

Like one commenter mentioned on the KV site said, the 'corridor along I-81' is mighty dang Conservative, something I can testify about having lived along that corridor since about 1977. Having lived in Carter, Washington and Johnson counties, worked in Sullivan, Cocke, Greene and Hawkins and Hamblen and Jefferson -- indeed these are deeply Conservative places.

However, back in 2000, I had the chance to work in southeastern TN, in places like Bradley, Monroe, Meigs, McMinn, Loudon and McMinn counties. I kept seeing signs on main and back roads for the Army of God, and talked to many residents who were scary in their Rightness.

Is there a single answer for either question - most Conservative and most Liberal?

My snarky first response to 'what's the most Conservative place in Tennessee?' is this: it's the part that lies between Memphis and Bristol.

Snarky response to Most Liberal? The answer is my house and the houses of my friends.

However, even a label like Liberal doesn't really describe my home or those of my friends. To me, we have always had several things in common - we tend to be open-minded, tolerant and fearful of ideologies which demand lock-step agreement.

Since I was raised mostly in Middle TN and traveled some in parts West, I have noticed the state's temperament to be less Conservative as I moved in the Middle and West directions. Still, even that has changed over the last 10 or 15 years.

My ultimate response to the question of most Conservative has to be the entire 1st District. They have solidly backed hardcore Conservative GOPers for Congress since 1881, and only once since 1859 has the Representative not been a Republican.

It boggles my mind too, since the entire area has remained a low income, drop-out ridden, good-old-boy haven for over 100 years and there exists very little thought in the public to move past this point. I've been reluctant to admit it, but the residents seem to like it the way it is. So be it. It's their decision to accept the status quo.

Am I a Liberal or a Conservative? Well, like the old saying goes, it depends on who I'm standing next to.