Wednesday Web Walking

Gathered from the vast landscape of Our Internet Tubes --

A fine editorial on the mythmaking of Fundamentalists as they strive to distort Science and theories of Evolution and instead promote Religion. Key to their efforts? Lies and distortion. Here's a sample:

"There really are two theories of evolution. There is the genuine scientific theory, and there is the talk-radio pretend version, designed not to enlighten but to deceive and enrage. .... But then there is the real theory of evolution, the one that was on display in that Harrisburg courtroom, for which there is overwhelming evidence in labs, fossils, computer simulations and DNA studies. Most Americans have not heard of it. Teachers give it short shrift in schools because the subject upsets too many parents who only know the talk-radio version. But real evolution isn't random; it doesn't say man came from monkeys. Those claims are made up by critics to get people riled up"
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The amount of surveillance prominent today in the world is achieved not just by government desires, but with the immense effort of business too. Both groups are employing each other's tactics in order to establish a massive database on information on every move you make - and more, to predict your behavior. Pre-Crime Investigations ahead! Full story here via Democracy Now! and a sample:

"Guilt by Google, that’s not copyrighted. You know, these data-mining programs, what you have to understand is that they’re not sifting through masses of information to find known terrorists or people who are suspected of terrorism on reasonable grounds. What they're doing is they’re sifting through all this information they’re collecting about us all to predict who might be a terrorist. This is predictive technology. And it’s interesting. It comes from the private sector."
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Here is one of several posts via No Silence Here on the furor created by the Knox County Commission concerning their recent appointment process and how it violated the Sunshine Law and ignored the public demands for new elections. The defense by Commissioner Lambert that they conducted their deals of vote trading that "we did it in public view" is rather lame. If someone accused of theft says "Hey, I did it in daylight when the homeowner was in the home!", would they be declared innocent of theft?
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A new look and design for Nashville is Talking. Check it out. As a Pynchon fan, I love big V's.
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Will the tears of a defense lawyer Ted Wells prevent a guilty conviction for "Scooter" Libby? Part of his defense is that "he did not lie on purpose" in the criminal investigation in the outing a CIA agent's identity to bolster the reputation of his boss, Vice President Cheney. Since the media has been providing moment-by-moment coverage of events in the case of who can bury Anna Nicole Smith and not on the Libby perjury case - I predict Libby is NOT the father of Anna Nicole's child.
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Sources say the movie "Capricorn One", about a secret plot to fake a Mars landing, is being remade. And are they really going to call it "Capricorn Two"?
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Thanks to the lovely Tits McGee, who mentioned this bizarre website which features cats (yes, cats again) and captions. This was one of my favorites.

TN Teachers Get Global Climate Change Details

According to a press release from the state's Department of Education, a statewide webcast will offer teachers across the state with information and facts regarding global climate changes this week. Despite the chatter from non-scientific pundits and talk-radio mythmakers, the goal here is to provide educators with the most current scientific research and analysis.

The press release says in part:

" ... Atmospheric chemist Dr. Bill Chameides, chief scientist with Environmental Defense, the webcasts will allow teachers to email questions to be addressed during the interactive session.

These webcasts are an opportunity for teachers to learn the latest global climate change research to pass on to Tennessee’s future scientists, the students,” said Tami Coleman, coordinator of Project CENTS for the Department of Education. “Only students equipped with such knowledge will be on the forefront of developing new answers for keeping our communities healthy and viable.

The webcasts will take place Thursday, February 22 and Thursday, March 1 at 3:15 p.m. CST. The first webcast will focus on climate science. The second session will address solutions such as renewable energy sources, energy conservation and new energy-efficient building design."

Dr. Chameides makes no bones about the science involved regarding climate change. His most recent statement on this year's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change is here, where he says "Those hesitating on quick, bold action must now explain why the world's leading scientists are wrong about the science, and many of America’s leading companies are wrong about the economics.

And more about the Project CENTS program can be discovered here, as they continue their efforts to provide informed enviromental education to Tennessee students.


Students in Nevada, on the other hand, are being treated to a character known as Yucca Mountain Johnny, a cartoon icon of a miner, who tells kids that the embattled Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Facility is good for everyone. By clicking on his image at this web site, he says thinks like "Any idea is worth having" and "The best sense for safety is common sense."

Using a cartoon character and some goofy online games is a rather silly way to promote a boondoggle which is likely a dying project.

The Hotel Aftermath - Coming Home from Iraq

The wounded and brain-bruised American veterans are often trotted out for symbolic hoistings, though the daily struggles of those who braved battle and combat in Iraq and Afghanistan are often now engaging a paperwork battle and administrative policy minefield. It's the Surreal World for both vets and their families.

Both yesterday and today, the Washington Post has an in-depth series on the challenges faced by vets at Walter Reed. Reporters didn't go through the PR offices for information. They researched privately, without the knowledge of those in charge of the facilities.

What emerges, first in this report and also in this one, are details of the struggle to survive the return to America. Some information defies logic - how can a solider be deemed unworthy of disability pay due to "pre-existing conditions" if those conditions did not prevent them from serving?

For all the talk about supporting the military, the experiences of veterans are historically often sideline issues, seldom considered by warhawks and poorly funded by government leaders.

A sample from today's article:

"Bomb blasts are the most common cause of injury in Iraq, and nearly 60 percent of the blast victims also suffer from traumatic brain injury, according to Walter Reed's studies, which explains why some at Mologne House wander the hallways trying to remember their room numbers.

Some soldiers and Marines have been here for 18 months or longer. Doctor's appointments and evaluations are routinely dragged out and difficult to get. A board of physicians must review hundreds of pages of medical records to determine whether a soldier is fit to return to duty. If not, the Physical Evaluation Board must decide whether to assign a rating for disability compensation. For many, this is the start of a new and bitter battle."

snip

"Perks and stardom do not come to every amputee. Sgt. David Thomas, a gunner with the Tennessee National Guard, spent his first three months at Walter Reed with no decent clothes; medics in Samarra had cut off his uniform. Heavily drugged, missing one leg and suffering from traumatic brain injury, David, 42, was finally told by a physical therapist to go to the Red Cross office, where he was given a T-shirt and sweat pants. He was awarded a Purple Heart but had no underwear.

David tangled with Walter Reed's image machine when he wanted to attend a ceremony for a fellow amputee, a Mexican national who was being granted U.S. citizenship by President Bush. A case worker quizzed him about what he would wear. It was summer, so David said shorts. The case manager said the media would be there and shorts were not advisable because the amputees would be seated in the front row."

Both articles (here and here, with a response from Walter Reed here) deserve your attention and consideration in the current debate about how we proceed with an open-ended war.

Bush Making Opportunities For Fraud

A rule was abandoned by the Bush administration which did ban companies involved in fraud charges for contracted services from doing continued business with the government and created both a lack of oversight and a lack of punishment, and has allowed for a minimum of $10 billion in waste and fraud in reconstruction in Iraq.

These reports - which mean devastation to timetables for improving U.S. efforts in Iraq - barely make a blip in the national media, busy reporting on snowfall, celebrity makeovers, and American Idol contestants. It's a story that isn't easy to understand and the media does nothing to increase that understanding.

Since nearly a third of that ten billion is in overcharges and waste from Halliburton - using that rule created by the Clinton administration would have meant that the company, once headed by Vice President Cheney, would have been dropped from use.

Even the conservative Washington Times has reported this near-outlaw raid on tax dollars and that the risk of more waste and fraud remains to this day:

"That problem could worsen, the Government Accountability Office said, given limited improvement so far by the Department of Defense even as the Bush administration prepares to boost the U.S. presence in Iraq.

David M. Walker, comptroller general of the GAO, Congress' auditing arm, said his agency has been pointing out problems for years, only to be largely ignored or given lip service with little result.

"There is no accountability," Mr. Walker said. "Organizations charged with overseeing contracts are not held accountable. Contractors are not held accountable. The individuals responsible are not held accountable.

"People should be rewarded when they do a good job. But when things don't go right, there have to be consequences," he said.

A spokeswoman for the Army, which handles most of the Iraq contracting, did not have immediate comment.

Senate Democrats, calling recently cited cases of waste "outrageous rip-offs of the American taxpayer," quickly moved to introduce legislation yesterday to stiffen punishment for war profiteers and cut down on cronyism in contracting.

The bill, sponsored by Sen. Byron L. Dorgan, North Dakota Democrat, and 22 other senators, would impose penalties of up to 20 years in prison and fines of up to $1 million for war profiteering and restore a rule that prohibits awarding federal contracts to companies exhibiting a pattern of breaking the law in performance of government contracts.

That rule, put in place by President Clinton, was dropped by the Bush administration upon taking office, Mr. Dorgan said.

The auditors' joint appearance before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee comes as Congress is preparing for a showdown with President Bush next month over his budget request of nearly $100 billion to pay for more U.S. troops in Iraq. "

Will any officials in the Tennessee delegation demand immediate improvements? Cetainly, as House Democrats get ready to review spending on the war in Iraq, these huge amounts of waste will provide them a strong argument for limits on spending.

Next week President Bush will visit Tennessee, as will newly-elected Senator Bob Corker -- though their appearances are tied to drumming up support for more of the same failed policies, not for improving accountability.

The Naked Head of Britney

Using this as the lead story in a newscast is not exactly journalism, but KABC did lead with this yesterday with their report that Britney Spears shaved her head and then went for a tattoo. If you wish, you can view their report here.

It made me think of that lawyer who went crazy and shaved his head in the movie "...And Justice For All," though everyone in that movie went crazy. I am no fan of Spears, but she has my sympathies as the fame-crazy world is obviously chewing her up most fiercely. As writer John Updike once said, "Fame is a mask that eats the face." It eats hair, too, apparently.

Poor kid needs some bona-fide friends who can urge her to stay out of the public eye and just try being a non-famous human for a few months.

Fame-frenzy has been the rage this week, in the wake of the Anna Nicole Smith death-custody battle-who'll inherit the money lunacy. I know that "news" about sex and money get ratings. Duh. But for every minute of "news" taken by this story is yet another minute devoid of content about important events which impact millions of Americans. For instance, despite the pundit blather about the House resolution stating the Bush plan in Iraq is bad policy, how much coverage has actually been provided to explore the status of the war, or reconstruction?

Other than a few blogs, such as Salem's Lots, there was precious little major media coverage of the corporate profiteering and contract fraud for Iraq, to the tune of $10 billion dollars. Imagine the level of scrutiny a week's worth of round-the-clock reporting would bring to that story. Crimes such as these might actually get punished and intense attention might even prevent future frauds which destroy more U.S. efforts in Iraq than an army of insurgents and their IEDs.

The vivid glare off the bald head of Fame can obscure much that is important.

Camera Obscura - Lynch Coffee; 'The Fly' Opera; Abrams Directs 'Dark Tower'

Tucked inside a recent interview with David Lynch is the news that should make his fans smile and their heartbeats increase. The interview notes that he's got his own brand of coffee on the way. "Black as midnight on a moonless night" however is not how he likes his own brew - he says he drinks about 20 cups a day, but they aren't all espresso. Read the interview here.

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Director David Cronenberg and longtime musical collaborator Howard Shore have announced they are creating a new opera based on Cronenberg's movie "The Fly." Reports say the opera should premiere in Paris next year.

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Also just announced -- J.J. Abrams of "Lost" fame has another project in the works, this time making a screen version of the multi-part book series "The Dark Tower" by Stephen King. Still to be decided is if the project will be a feature film or a television mini-series.

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Grindhouse movie theatres may be long gone, but a new project from Quentin Trantino and Robert Rodriguez celebrates the days of cheesy exploitation movies, bizarre plots and characters, and white-hot action in a mini-double feature called "Grindhouse". The movies, "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof", will also include previews and attractions for other mythical grindhouse fare directed by a slew of famous directors.

While there were few of the grungy movie houses in Tennessee, we could always count on finding the truly low-budget offbeat movies in a host of drive-in theaters, which have also sadly faded from the American landscape.

Confused by what a grindhouse was/is? The brand new trailer explains it all. And yes, that it an automatic rifle made into a leg.

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Finally, something a bit more peaceful and relaxing. Meet Nora the cat, who plays the piano so well, she may be a reincarnation of some famous player of the past. She sure seems to have an ear (a furry one) for making music.

Great Pics From the Mountains

Sunshine and snow made for a memorable day in the mountains yesterday.

Sande sent along some pics she took around Tellico Plains, and pretty much the same kind of sights were visible yesterday when I was in Cosby. (Check out her blog for more photos.)

Angry Father of the Angry Talk Show

"Go gargle with razor blades!"

Such was the typical rant from Joe Pyne, a TV and radio personality who has been credited as being the Father of the Conservative Talk Show. Pyne's TV career ran from 1954 to 1969, and he died in 1970 from cancer.

A fascinating account of his tactics, style and confrontational hijnks is detailed in this report from the retro website TV Party!.

Some samples of his methods and madness:

"Life magazine commented, "His manner is that of a barroom tough who invites his quarry to pull up a chair and sit down. Five minutes later, the poor lummox is apt to feel like he has been slapped into a corner with his tie ripped off."

After Joe got in his licks, he would turn to 'the dock' to give individuals from the now-outraged crowd their chance to grill the guests - and fling their own pious put-downs. Pyne was unapologetic about his approach, "I'm not a nice guy, and I don't want to be. I have no respect for anyone who would come on my show."

And a semi-legendary word battle between himself and Frank Zappa:

"So I guess your long hair makes you a woman," said Pyne.

Zappa responded with "So I guess your wooden leg makes you a table."

Campfield Targets Women?

What could be the point behind Knoxville's State Representative Stacey Campfield's proposed bill to require death certificates for abortions performed in Tennessee?

Campfield says in the KNS report:

"All these people who say they are pro-life - at least we would see how many lives are being ended out there by abortions," Campfield said. ..."Hopefully we'll be able to get a little information out of this."

The effort here seems geared to gaining information - the private information of patients who have the procedure. And the statistics on all procedures are already provided to the state.

"Tennessee law already requires abortions to be reported to the Office of Vital Records, though the identities of women having abortions are not included in the reports. Death certificates require identifying information like Social Security numbers."

Why not some legislation to require that the men who are the partners in the creation of a pregnancy be identified? Is Campfield, who often files divisive and headline-grabbing legislation, trying to isolate women as potential criminals?

Personally, I see little point in Campfield's actions other than stirring up the emotions of emotional voters and getting media attention for himself. In that job, he is usually successful.

The Ugly Truth in Iraq

It's perplexing, some might even say beyond belief, how some members in Congress remain so disconnected from the ugly reality of the war in Iraq. Fearful members of Congress have argued that approving a resolution, even a non-binding one, opposing the president's latest plan will "send the wrong message that America is divided on the war." Even though we obviously are divided on Iraq.

A CBS poll says:

"A new CBS News poll shows that while most Americans (63 percent) are opposed to sending more troops to Iraq, they are evenly split over whether Congress should pass a nonbinding resolution against the president's plan: 44 percent said they'd like to see it passed, 45 percent are against it."

Any conversation in America today - perhaps at the workplace, among friends or on the internet - which brings attention to the war clearly shows one vivid aspect: the population is divided on this war. So debating the status of the current policies and the decisions to be made from now on has already been endorsed by voters - that was made clear in the November 2006 elections.

And today a letter from conservative leaders John Shadegg (R- AZ) and Peter Hoekstra (R-MI) seems to privately affirm that debate itself highlights the real lack of progress and success in Iraq:

"If we let the Democrats force us into a debate on the surge or the current situation in Iraq, we lose."

Also of note is this question in the letter:

"Join us in asking our Democratic colleauges the essential question: If we do not defeat radical Islam in Iraq, then where will we do so?"

That question is truly central to the conflicts in the middle east, so perhaps debate next needs to shift to how we join in and win a religious war, since that is at the heart of the civil warfare in Iraq.

Erwin Elephant Hanging Hits The Stage

It's an amazing story from the history of Tennessee - an elephant named Mary charged with murder, convicted and then hung from a crane. Brittney at NiT today has a YouTube video about a new play about this event, penned by a Nashville writer and staged by the People's Branch Theatre in March.

It's a story rife with legend and myth but the fact remains the elephant was tried and convicted and hung by the neck.

It also reminds me of yet another of those Personally Embarassing Moments from the Past.

Back in college at ETSU I had a Basic Speech class and one of the first assignments was to write an 8 to 10 minute humorous speech. I had just learned of what happened in Erwin back in 1916 and decided the tragedy was perfect for a humorous speech. (yeah, now I see the lack of logic in my plan.)

I decided to write a speech lampooning the entire event, using as a premise that the elephant was really a member of a secret terrorist organization called the PLO - Pachyderm Liberation Organization. I remember writing a (what seemed to me) long and funny account of this organization, angry elephants and bizarre characters.

So on the day of my speech, convinced of my brilliant comedic ideas, I volunteered to be the first to give an example of humorous writing. Within seconds, my "best material" was offered up and I glanced around the room waiting for a single glimmer of laughter. I got zip, nada, nothing. I quickly continued, again, quite sure this was comedy gold I was offering -- and got more nothing. I even sensed a bit of anger from the professor of the class.

My speech became a two-minute-oh-god-let-me-just-finish-the-thing affair and I ran back to my seat as fast as I could, wondering if my bright-red face might actually explode from shame.

Got an F for that speech. Not funny and too short, said the professor.

Being a witless freshman, my approach to resolving this was to never, ever go to that class again. I did however, appear in the professor's office on the next to last day of class and begged for an Incomplete.

"Oh, you," he said when I arrived.

He heard my plea, had mercy and did give me that Incomplete on one condition. He said he was teaching a summer course on Politics and Media, and needed more students in the class in order to get the amount of pay he wanted from the administration.

"Enroll and attend this summer course and I'll give you the same grade for both classes," was his offer. I saw it for Extreme Mercy and embraced the deal.

That class had no tests, no textbook and was mostly a one night a week deal where myself and others in debt to the professor would gather and talk about what we had seen on TV that week that might be politically oriented. He often dismissed the class after 10 or 15 miinutes and said the class could move, if anyone desired, to his favorite bar. I was too frightend to dabble with our deal and he kinda scared me so I never went with other classmates to the bar.

But I got an A in both classes.

So in many ways, Mary the elephant and her demise was the beginning of my political education.

Who Is Congressman Davis Working For?

I guess it isn't news when a congressman grossly distorts the facts or even lies about events as he seeks to please his masters.

But the recent comments and distortions of fact by 1st District Congressman David Davis were printed as fact and never challenged by the press in a report from the Kingsport Times News. Why would the newspaper ignore realities?

Here are some comments as reported by the KTN on Feb 10, 2007 :

"Some of the things that come across from the (Democratic) majority party sound very good on a bumper strip - providing prescription drugs for everyone, raising people's payroll, becoming less dependent on foreign oil, ... but you've got to look at the reality of each one of those pieces of legislation," Davis said.

Davis told chamber members "don't be fooled" when Democrats go on national television and claim credit for raising America's minimum wage."

Ah, but the Congress did vote and approve all those agenda items. How awful. Approving increases in the minimum wage, as more than half the states in the nation have, is an action that has improved business growth and job growth in those states.

"Davis was also critical of Pelosi using a government plane to fly back to her West Coast congressional district from Washington.

"We are starting to see that arrogance coming out of Washington," said Davis. "I don't think people voted for change where you have a speaker of the House who wants a plane that holds 45 people and costs $22,000 an hour to fly cross-country. Most people in the 1st District, after four hours of flying that plane, could pay off their home. ... I think the American people will hold that type of arrogance accountable in the next election."

Davis says this even though the White House had already said this is a non-issue, that the Speaker of the House is required to have more security as a result of changes after 9-11, and that the Speaker did not make the request for the plane. But what do facts matter.

And notice that Davis ignores the fact that workers in his District earn less than national and state averages. It's as if he prefers that your income remain low. Does he announce any effort on his part to improve the earning power of those in his own District? No. He's just mouthing typical Hate-The-Democrat rhetoric.

"Davis also called for Bush to pardon two Border Patrol agents who pursued and shot a Mexican drug smuggler ..."

Another hot-button issue, but based on a lot of false assumptions. While hysteria surrounds this issue, even the Wall Street Journal notes that crimes were committed by these border agents and that it was a Texas jury which convicted these men.

"Agents Ramos and Compean were guarding the Mexican border near El Paso, Texas, on Feb. 17, 2005, when they encountered a van driven by Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila. When the driver saw the agents he sped off, eventually abandoning the vehicle and fleeing toward the border on foot. At one point, Aldrete-Davila stopped running and raised his empty hands to surrender. But when the first border agent to approach him stumbled, Aldrete-Davila took off again toward the Rio Grande.

At this point, Agents Ramos and Compean opened fire, shooting at the back of a suspect who they knew was unarmed. They fired 14 rounds in all--Agent Compean even paused to reload--finally hitting Aldrete-Davila in the buttocks. The suspect was wounded but still managed to make it across the border and escape.

It later was determined that Aldrete-Davila was in the country illegally and smuggling drugs. Nearly 750 pounds of marijuana were found in the van. But Ramos and Compean didn't know the suspect's immigration status when they shot him. Nor did they know the contents of the vehicle he was driving. What the agents did know is that they had broken any number of border patrol policies.

So Compean and another agent returned to the scene to gather shell casings and discard them in a drainage ditch. Compean and Ramos, who'd been disciplined for past conduct unbecoming a federal officer, then filed a false report. The only reason their cover-up didn't succeed is because an honest border agent who learned of the shooting eventually reported it.

After a trial lasting nearly three weeks, a federal jury in El Paso convicted both agents on charges including assault with a deadly weapon and obstruction of justice. As Johnny Sutton, U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Texas, put it: "The simple truth of this case is that former Agents Compean and Ramos shot 15 times at an unarmed man who was running away from them and posed no threat. They lied about what happened, covered up the shooting, conspired to destroy the evidence and then proceeded to write up and file a false report."

Too bad Davis doesn't read the news, opting instead for following someone else's talking points. Here's to hoping the congressman starts to address issues and needs of the First District.

Follow Me to Middle Tennessee

Once again I have the honor of guest-blogging at Nashville Is Talking. Please come by and join in the conversation.

And yeah, that means posting here this weekend is gonna be very light. I get paid over there!

And it's worth the trip, if just to see "24's" Jack Bauer facing off against Meatwad.

Cartoon Network Prez Out After Aqua Teens Hit Boston

Looks like Turner found at least one - and there may be more - to sacrifice after the Aqua Teen ads in Boston prompted a security freakout. The President of the Cartoon Network is out.

" 'I feel compelled to step down, effectively immediately, in recognition of the gravity of the situation that occurred under my watch,' Jim Samples said in an e-mail to Cartoon Network employees, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported."

Smart money says more fallout will follow. It's a shame, people, since it was Boston and Boston alone who got wigged out by the ads.

Where Am I??

Ug.

This switching around from Old Blogger to New Blogger is a chore. It's two chores. Maybe even three.

If I disappear, it's not my fault.

Camera Obscura - Indy's Whip and Comedy Research

Score two points for Harrison Ford and 30 lashes for George Lucas over The Whip Debate.

Ford was told he could not have a real whip in the endlessly planned and re-written 4th installment of the Indiana Jones movies. Lucas said, safety regulations demanded only a CGI whip would be used. And Ford said, "No whip? Then I'll abandon the project." No word yet on the outcome. But here's a simple question ... how many CGI shots were in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"?

Next: The Eddie Murphy movie where he plays a woman in a fat suit is opening. I am past being just annoyed at the commercials. And Eddie -- Why are so many of your movies just about you in a fat suit?

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"Saul of the Mole Men" debuts Sunday night on the Boston Hoax Network - I mean, Adult Swim. This live-action comedy-adventure is patterned in a 1970s style, Sid and Marty Krofft show, which means cheesy sets and costumes. In fact the whole show is a Green Screen affair as the witless Saul is separated from his pals on Team Strata (making it sort of a show within a show within a parody) and must make his way through the Earth's crusty underworld, encountering bizarre creatures, time travel and of course, some vampires (?). Looks promising. As another 15 minute entry in the Adult Swim line-up it may take a few shows for this one to find it's legs.

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Do comedies about being unfunny really work? It's been the schtick of Albert Brooks for a long time, and his 2005 movie "Looking For Comedy in a Muslim World" is loaded with deeply droll and painfully absent humor. ("There are no comedy clubs in India?" he asks repeatedly)

Brooks, as himself, is recruited by former senator Fred Thompson to go on a fact-finding mission for the U.S. government to find out what Muslims think is humorous -- though they can only send him to largely Hindu India and Pakistan. It will improve US understanding of the non-American world. The idea is so off-kilter, it may well have been part of the real U.S. "strategery".

A good example of the humor here is the scene where Thompson lays out the plan to Brooks, and Thompson says, "We all know about the great sense of humor our President has", and the executives all laugh and Brooks sort of raises his eyebrow to say "Whaaaa?" It's a very low-key approach to comedy - but if it were much more low-key it would need CPR.

I certainly related to one aspect of the movie - the scenes where Brooks travels the crowded streets to ask people "What makes you laugh?" A most dangerous scenario, I can assure you.

You see, some years ago I was working with an Improv Comedy troupe and hit on the idea of taking a video camera and some troupe members thru the streets of Morristown asking the same. The idea was, I'd get some hilarious responses and make a short film to show during one of the weekend improv shows. You know, real life and street theatre all in one. I got that in spades, but not in a good way.

We had done four or five of these "interviews" at the local mall, and gotten zip for our efforts. Realizing that vast numbers of young people congregate along the main drag thru town in the evenings in various parking lots, I said, "Let's go out at night and ask these people what is funny!!"

Yeah, and no one bothered to question the wisdom of that plan. Thanks, guys.

Cut to a gas station parking lot about 11 p.m. Myself and three others, riding in a friend's new Porsche, taking along a then state-of-the-art videocamera (it was 1992 so the camera was a big bulky deal). The parking lot was loaded with pick-ups with gun racks and still, I thought this was a great idea.

Looking back, what must they have made of this goofy group of long-haired theatre boys with a camera? Blindly oblivious, I immediately chirp "Hey guys! Can we ask you a few questions?"

Stony silence and stares. "What you want, boy?"

"We're going all over town asking people what they think is funny, what makes them laugh!!" Yes, I was grinning like an idiot.

"My ass is funny." The parking-lot gang all laugh and begin to slowly encircle our group. And that's when I realize how humor can be very specific - as in, beating the hell out of us would be hilarious to these guys.

"Well, ha-ha, I bet it is! Good one!" I say, darting a look to the others in my group and whispering "In. The. Car. Now."

In seconds, we were all running like hell for the car and the shouts behind us had no humor in them at all. We're able to drive away while they're trying to crowd the car and yelling, again, most unfunny things at us. We drive away fast, get a few blocks away and for some reason, the driver hauls into another parking lot asking, "How about here?"

"Here??? Get us the hell out of here!" I say.

But it's too late - they've followed us in their trucks and some guy gets out and tries to open my car door. I had the window rolled down, and though I was able to lock the door, this guy reaches inside and tries to grab the camera. I then have visions of this camera flying through the air and shattering on the pavement. So I bellowed a line from Steve McQueen in "The Getaway" to our driver:

"Punch it!"

Fortunately, he does and we spin out, dragging this guy with us attached to the car door. He finally lets go before we have too much speed and I look back to see him rolling down the street and more trucks coming after us.


Long story short, in a few minutes we were hiding in an off road alleyway, lights off, watching the trucks circle around the area searching for us. After some long (it seemed) minutes passed, they were gone and we sped away into the night, lights off for a mile or two. Thank god my friend had a Porsche - we got away without further combat.

Yeah, most instructive night of Comedy Research. That's when I quit asking other people what was funny. I either know or I don't. Comedy is a dangerous business.

Can Ethics and Government Co-Exist?

The debate about the actions in Knox County's commission to fill offices as demanded by court rulings on the county's charter has raised a most important question.

No Silence Here featured my post on the call for new elections in Knox County, and a commenter there left the following statement:

"I don't believe the word "Ethics" and "Government" can co-exist.

Shameful stunts have been going on around here for more than a decade, and until now, went completely unnoticed.

Term limits was the one thing done right by this county. I doubt there is another county in this state where incumbents wield the kinda of power they do here. It's always been a club"

I'll bet cash money that we could find residents of any county in the nation expressing that very thought - that their county is rife with abuse of power. But that does not mean problems should be accepted as "the norm."

Part of the reason is that too much power in too few hands. And it appears to be far too common to me, as opposed to being just a problem in one county or another. Conflicts, bribery charges, ethics violations, and charges against officials from Tennessee to Washington DC have been prominent in the news.

Rules and regulations and even oversight of those rules and regulations certainly can and do exist. But who enforces these tenets?

Voters and non-voters alike must apply diligence and oversight themselves to both indentify problems and demand solutions. Likewise, a responsible press must be vigilant as well and rely far more on their own skills and duties rather than on the press releases and announcements for information.

The phrase "investigative journalism" implies there is a form of journalism that does not "investigate" the topics being reported. That, my friends, is called PR and isn't journalism at all.

Thanks to a vigorous and vital debate now available via blogs and web-writers, the local and national press must work harder than ever. That's a good thing. An active community demanding more ethical government behavior is the best way to accomplish that we have a presence of Ethics in the governmental process.

War Debate Strengthens U.S.

Right-wing pundits were provided with the facts from the Secretary of Defense and the chair of the Joint Chiefs -- debate in congress about the war being waged in Iraq does not demoralize troops and provides clear examples of how our nation is meant to conduct itself.

"Pace and Gates said they did not think debate in Congress would hurt the morale of troops in combat, undercutting an assertion by many congressional Republicans that members opposing the war were undermining the fighting forces there.

As long as this Congress continues to do what it has done, which is to provide the resources for the mission, the dialogue will be the dialogue, and the troops will feel supported," Pace said."

It's plain if someone does not underestand this fundamental action of open debate, they do not understand or appreciate our basis of government. Period.

More coverage of their testimony is here

In related news - something which does harm U.S. efforts in Iraq: War Profiteering.

Five people, both civilian and military, have been indicted on bribery charges related to the funneling of millions meant for reconstruction projects in Iraq.

"The 25-count indictment charged U.S. Army Col. Curtis Whiteford, U.S. Army Lt. Col. Debra Harrison and Lt. Col. Michael Wheeler, and civilians Michael Morris and William Driver. Whiteford once was the second most senior official at the Coalition Provisional Authority for the South Central Region in Iraq, while Harrison was its acting comptroller. Wheeler was an advisor for Iraqi reconstruction projects."

Also, more oversight from the House Democrats provides contract records that had been reported "missing". Details are in this post from "Facing South."

No Snickers for Snickers Ad

Reactions seem out of joint.

Spotting a LiteBrite constructed ad for Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Call out the bomb squad and shut down the city of Boston and rally Homeland Security!!

Two guys nearly kiss while gobbling on the same Snickers candy bar? Well, it may sound lascivious, but the company has (heh heh) pulled the ad off the air and the internet after complaints from groups like GLAAD that the ad promotes anti-gay thought and anti-gay violence.

Admittedly, "gobbling on the same Snickers candy bar" sounds like a euphemism for naughty behavior.

Humor seems to evaporate pretty fast these days.

Shameful Stunts In Knox Co. Commission

Even watching at a distance, the deeply unethical and rather silly actions of the Knox County Commission last week to fill seats of those who were elected even though they were not allowed to run due to term limits were most obvious.

I was immediately reminded of the character Fielding Mellish in Woody Allen's political comedy "Bananas," as he argues in a trial:

"This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham."

That's what it was all right.

While state law might allow sitting county commissioners to fill a vacant seat, the problems in Knox were far beyond simple vacancies. Plainly, the election ballot from last fall was so error-filled the election results should be nullified. To add insult to injury, the commissoners violated the laws of open debate, despite the meeting being broadcast to the public.

Kudos to the KNS for filing a lawsuit noting the violations.

And it is quite clear a new election is needed, and Mayor Ragsdale has rightly called for a new one, and he has much support for it from the public and from certain more sensible commissioners. Be certain other elected officials are eyeing this mess to see what it means to them and the message needs to be clear -- the events last week were bad government and will not be tolerated.

Too often, elected officials violate the rule of law and meet in private to discuss how to vote and what to vote on. Deals were made in this case to continue providing taxpayer dollars as income to some elected officials in return for votes. And the time to correct this mess is now, not in another year.

Counties, cities and the state of Tennessee in general need to realize Ethics isn't a catchphrase - it's one of the ways to prevent and punish corruption and deceit. Ethics has real meaning to the public and the public has little confidence in government after such shameful stunts.

A moment-by-moment roundup of the meeting was live-blogged via KnoxViews, which you can read here.

More on the mayor's call for a special election is here and the KNS lawsuit here.

UPDATE: Blogger Linda Noe, a former Hamblen County Commissioner, has also been steadily tracking this story. Detailed posts are here, and in the post dated Jan. 12th. There she wrote:

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Term limits help restrict the growth of power in the hands of public officials, and so help reduce the corruption that all too frequently accompanies the accumulation of political power.

The Tennessee Waltz is a perfect example of what happens to far too many longtime elected officials when they become too powerful and choose to sell their power and influence to the highest bidder."

Most Amazing Sentence of the Month

This may even be the Most Amazing Sentence of the Year. Certainly a contender. Heck of an opening line which likely made the reporter's week.

"An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said"

The details include diapers, romance, and a robotic arm from the shuttle. Entire story here.

Trouble Looms for V.P. Cheney

Now that the first month of the year blues are fading, it's time to tackle the Big Story for 2007: the political mess in the Office of the Vice President.

Since V.P. Dick Cheney started his job with secret meetings with oil and energy executives to draft the U.S. Energy Policy in 2001, he's had his eye and his hand all over long-term domestic and foreign policies. It's getting tougher to under-estimate his power-grab and tougher for journalists to ignore the Cheney Connections. Most recently, he has refused to even say who works in his office, or even how many work in the office.

TPM's recent post sums up the current mess very well:

"I will confess to having been extremely skeptical in the early years of the Bush Presidency that Cheney was really running the show. It seemed too facile an explanation for what I was convinced was a far more complicated situation. Until the 9/11 Commission report came out.

Even the watered-down version of events in the Commission's report made it absolutely clear that Cheney, ensconced in the White House bunker on the morning of the attacks, had issued shootdown orders outside of the chain of command and then conspired with the President to conceal this fact from the Commission.

Since then, I've gone from being open to the idea of an Imperial Vice Presidency to being convinced that historians will debate whether something approaching a Cheney-led coup d'etat has occurred, in which some of the powers of the Executive were extra-constitutionally usurped by the Office of the Vice President.

Last week, in trying to break the lock on who actually works in the OVP--which the Vice President refuses to reveal--the guys at Muckraker stumbled across this entry from a government directory known as the "Plum Book":

'The Vice Presidency is a unique office that is neither a part of the executive branch nor a part of the legislative branch, but is attached by the Constitution to the latter. The Vice Presidency performs functions in both the legislative branch (see article I, section 3 of the Constitution) and in the executive branch (see article II, and amendments XII and XXV, of the Constitution, and section 106 of title 3 of the United States Code).'

"It appears that Cheney's office submitted this entry in lieu of a list of its employees, as federal agencies must do. It sounds like something Cheney's current chief of staff, David Addington, might have written. Cheney and Addington have been the among the most powerful proponents of the theory of a "unitary executive," but there are indications that they have also advanced, though less publicly, a theory of a constitutionally distinct and independent vice presidency."

The whole article is a must read - and the questions raised truly need answering.

Add to this, the ongoing trial of Scooter Libby, in which more and more testimony points to the OVP, both Congress and the press are starting to look at what may be the biggest problem in US politics.

On Whedon and Wonder Woman

That wiley Newscoma had the story late Friday, which kinda surprised me: news that writer Joss Whedon was booted off/walked off the Wonder Woman movie project from Warner Bros. I had just read on Friday morning that WB bought a spec script of WW from two first-time writers "just to get it off the market." Yet by Friday night, Joss says he's off the project completely.

I honestly had small hopes for a Wonder Woman movie. A character walking around in big blue star-covered panties seems out-of-date at best, unless she is a stripper with tats and piercings and performs as part of The Suicide Girls or something.

Why is Hollywood spending so much time and money for comics? That's for another post - my thought today was that Whedon, a third-generation writer for TV and movies, with many successful projects under his belt, stacks of awards and legions of fan, can still get ill treatment from movie producers and the major studios. He is hardly the first and will not be the last writer and creator to get screwed over by those who eye profits ahead of quality products.

I can more than relate. Being a consistently good writer is hardly a guarantee of employment.

Often it means facing compromises, wildly fluctuating lifestyles, and quizzical looks from family and friends. They are puzzled why you just don't have a "real job". The oft-used phrase "have something to fall back on" is loaded with the idea that success is not to be yours, and always reminded me of the phrase "fall on your own sword." Final outcomes are grisly.

Writing has it's own measures of success, and it's own reasons to hard-wire itself into your bones and blood. I often think that's the reason writers and artists are held at arm's length - how can they ever be trusted if there is something murky and unknown in the writing process?

The needs of business and those of the creative arts make uncomfortable bedfellows.

In the meantime, Whedon will get to play on an upcoming episode of "The Office," has Season 8 of Buffy headed to comic stores via Dark Horse Comics, is working with Universal on a project called "Goners" and has fans, like me, happy to wait for more, no matter how long it might take.

I wait years to read new books by Thomas Pynchon too. I'm wading through "Against The Day," but I've learned not to devour his books, but to take my time, enjoying each page. The epigraph in "Against The Day" is a reminder for writers and readers alike:

"It's always night, or we wouldn't need light."

Camera Obscura - Cache;Spying Smiths on TV; Your Inner Sci-Fi Writer

I know the initial description of this movie may turn you off right off the bat. That will be your loss, because the movie is a haunting thriller that rewards with repeat viewings. I understand that some just won't get it or like it at all, but for those who want a movie with something truly extra, stick around. And as always, some movie news and other entertainment details that makes stopping here on Fridays habit-forming. Oh and of course, my deeply personal account of the 41st Super Bowl.

The main focus this week is on the movie "Cache," aka "Hidden". And it is foreign, so that means subtitles and it's set in France, so I'm sure some of you have said Nope to that movie already.

The award-winning 2005 feature deserves placement among some of the best, innovative and mind-bending movies of years past from directors like Hitchcock, Welles or Lynch and especially "Blow Up" by Michelangelo Antonioni. On the surface, this is a mystery movie, a whodunnit, but layer upon layer of mystery is here, all very patiently composed in long takes that command much attention. In other words, if you don't watch carefully, you'll miss much.



Created by Austrian director/writer Michael Haneke, the movie is about your perception and those of the characters too. Haneke's skillful mind-games start with the opening shot - a long static take of a street-view of the family home of Georges and Anne Laurent (Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche). But it isn't really the movie you're watching - you're watching what the Laurents are watching: an anonymously delivered videotape.

Yes, it's the set-up similar to Lynch's "Lost Highway", but it goes in much different directions. The family is under surveillance by someone, for reasons unknown, and the fear and paranoia grows quickly as they also receive anonymous, childish-looking drawings depicting cryptic images of violence. The object of the attention is obviously Georges, and the unknown observer knows many details of his life.

The story is not going to give you simple resolutions to the mysteries here. It's a brilliant work of subtle and powerful emotion, great beauty and some true terror -- if you allow yourself to follow the riddles. And at least one moment that appears from nowhere and truly throws you (and the lead character) for a loop. I'll gladly provide my interpretation of the mystery and the ending if you email me, but I'm not going to say more here! Highly recommended.

------

I've written before here about how I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the spy caper "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", and the cult following has lead to another surprise. A new TV series based on the characters from the movie. Already signed into the "Mrs. Smith" role - Jordanna Brewster. Some very good writing and directing will be required to keep this effort out of the garbage bin.

Speaking of changing the female leads, rumors say Katie Holmes is out as Batman's girlfriend in the upcoming sequel and Rachel McAdams is in.

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I happened upon one of those online tests which aims to indentify you in terms of some fictional character or something -- but this was better. It determines which science-fiction writer you are most like. My result unveiled a writer I had never heard of, but now I do, so I'm looking for his books. His works were big influences on Arthur C. Clarke, C.S. Lewis and Stanislaw Lem. Sweet!!

I am: Olaf Stapledon Standing outside the science fiction "field", he wrote fictional explorations of the futures of whole species and galaxies.

Which science fiction writer are you?

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I'm happy to see the 41st Super Bowl back in Miami at Dolphin Stadium. That's where I attended Super Bowl 23 in 1989 as the 49ers under Joe Montana took the win. I loved hearing the entire stadium chanting "Joe! Joe! Joe!" for obvious reasons.

My friends will tell you I never stop mentioning that during Super Bowl discussions. I got to hob-nob with all kinds of celebrities, held a can of beer for Senator Jack Kemp while he had his picture taken with a kid, and nearly knocked Donald Trump on his backside when I ran into him as I was running for a bathroom just before half-time.

That's all I have to say really -- just "Yeah, Super Bowl, been there, done that."

Oh fine, here, go check out the obligatory Super Bowl Blog.

Aqua Teen Ad Terrifies Boston

A life lived in terror? Mission Accomplished!

The wild and reckless overreaction in Boston yesterday to stray advertising signs for a cartoon alien from the show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" was a jaw-dropping sign of incompetence. It was not an insidious act of terrorism - though it shows how easily some can be terrified these days.

Incompetent since no such similar overreaction occurred in any of the other major American cities where the ads have been up for nearly three weeks - New York, L.A., Philadelphia, Chicago, Seattle, Atlanta, Portland, San Francisco.

The hysteria was fueled by Boston Mayor Thomas Menino.

I read about how highways, and at one point, even the St Charles River, was shut down because responders thought the small LiteBrite and some batteries might be a bomb, and I read about it online at around 2 p.m, after reports of the panic were mentioned on the MetaFilter web site - one of the most visited sites on the internet - by 12:41 p.m.. Other blogs had noted the events too, and already the information that these ads were just that - ads- was widely known and available.

Now move to around 4:15 pm when CNN went to a live press conference out of Boston with the Governor, Mayor Menino, and officials from police, ATF and Homeland Security are not dismissing the incident but stoking the fears.

Just as Mayor Menino's comments were ending - in which he referred to these objects as "bombs' half a dozen times - a reporter could be clearly heard asking the mayor about information that Turner Broadcasting had issued a statement these "devices" were just ads for a cartoon. The mayor shouted the reporter down and said "I'm not finished yet. Just for that your question comes last!!"

So by 4 p.m., the mayor and other officials knew what these "devices" were. But the pressure was on now, since untold amounts of money and vital resources had been wasted, to point the blame at someone outside the group of officials responsible for public safety. The mayor remains in a state of hysteria, telling the press:

"It is outrageous, in a post-9/11 world, that a company would use this type of marketing scheme," Menino said. "I am prepared to take any and all legal action against Turner Broadcasting and its affiliates for any and all expenses incurred during the response to today's incidents."

Two people have been charged with felonies as of this morning, again, wasting efforts rather than allowing for cooler heads to control the situation.

And it appears for some, Post 9-11 Worldview deems anything and everything as a threat of terrorism.

It isn't just the mayor and governor who disconnected from the world on this. It shows how perhaps for all the claims that the internet is an object of surveillance it really isn't.

Within seconds of running an image search on the internet, officials would know this was a cartoon character, that a movie is about to be released for Aqua Teen, that's it's been on television for six years. And I'm supposed to believe no one in the hundreds and hundreds deployed yesterday knew what these "devices" were? None of them have kids? None of them watch TV or movies? No one in Boston's media knew what this was??

Or was it all just a chance to wind people a little tighter?

The Washington Post quotes former public relations consultant, now Homeland Security consultant, W. David Stephenson:

"You just can't trivialize this. It's one of those moments where you just can't figure out what was going on in the brain of the advertising person."

That's one of the silliest things I've heard in an Era of Silly. I wonder, as do most Americans, what the heck an ad person was thinking about some ad campaign at least a dozen times a day. Every nook and cranny imaginable has been free game for advertising for a long, long time. Remember how officials responded in L.A. to newspaper boxes that played the theme from "Mission: Impossible III" recently? A county bomb squad came out and blew them up. One way to write a review I guess.

And what happens when someone calls in and says "My God!! Cows are painting anti-hamburger slogans on billboards!!"

"A talking lizard is selling car insurance!!"

If someone calls into a store and asks "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" is that an act of terrorism?

It is amusing to hear references to Meatwad and Frybox in news reports. And Mooninites. And Iningknot and Err are now potential terrorists. It should be funny, but it isn't. Some in America prefer to live in terror of the unknown and now they have the policies and the agencies to enforce it.

National Gorilla Suit Day!

Each year, we mark this holiday created by writer and artist Don Martin.

I've always wanted to get my full gorilla gear on, get an official photo ID made wearing my furry duds, then go into a bar and order banana daiquiris, proudly presenting my ID to prove I am of legal gorilla drinking age.

Apparently this is a family trait. Last year, my nephew and his friend suited up to go thru a local burger drive-thru. One wore a chicken suit, the other a gorilla outfit. A slight fender bender ocurred as they accidentally struck each other's cars, and they ended up outside a local school's soccer field waving to the arriving crowd while wearing their outfits. That made me one proud uncle.

Don't have a gorilla suit? Go here.

More info here and ....

as Don Martin might say "Mamp! Spwat! Tok!"

Police To Perform Together Again

A recent announcement that the group The Police would be performing together at the upcoming Grammy awards brought up some fine memories. I'm happy to hear they'll perform again.

Their first album attracted my attention and it soon became a hit thanks to the single "Roxanne". But the more I listened, the more I liked the whole album. Mixed in with the pop/punk/reggae style there was something more. I made a lot of people listen to it and made cassette copies for friends. All very legal back then.

I kept telling friends to keep their eyes on this band - they would do great things, I predicted.

Their next two albums also made some hit singles, but you could tell the record company was trying to make them crank out more of the same old-same old product, as evidenced by the repeated goofy album titles - "Reggatta del Blanc" and "Zenyatta Mondatta".

I was afraid the trio had been consumed by marketing madmen.

"Ghost In The Machine," however, brought out more of their unique talents. The styles were more eclectic, though still had it's pop music appeal. The lyrics were political, thoughtful and the album title itself was taken from the essay by Arthur Koestler. The music was as intense as ever, and now the lyrics were matching that strength.

Koestler again provided ideas for their last album, "Synchronicity", as did Carl Jung and writer Paul Bowles. Bowles' novel "The Sheltering Sky" was the inspiration for "Tea In The Sahara," and led me to read the novel. It's a teriffic novel, and I'm grateful the music led to it's discovery. Bowles was a composer as well, making music for stage plays in several collaborations with Tennessee Williams.

Both "Ghost" and "Syhnchronicity" are listed in the top 500 all-time best albums according to Rolling Stone. But for me, "Synchronicity" is on my own short list of best albums.

I got to attend their live show for that album in Knoxville, their last tour together. One of the things I've liked best about the trio - Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland - is that they are just that, a trio. Guitar, bass, drums - some occasional keyboards. A trio has to work very hard, especially in the world of arena rock shows. (Side note: a recent documentary made from footage shot over the life of the band by Stewart, which he directed, "Everyone Stares: The Police The Inside Out", is a fascinating look at how rapidly the band rocketed to worldwide fame.)

It's an amazing thing that happens when the sum is greater than the parts. That's true for them.

The show was loud, energetic, fierce and ranks as one of the best I've ever seen.

There was a moment during the show when I learned something about how their music affected their fans, about how their music could express basic human ideas with complexity and simplicity.

The band performed the song "King of Pain," and the entire audience sang along, word for word. Looking around, each person was singing "I'm the King of Pain." Not Sting or Andy or Stewart, or someone other poor soul. It was all very personal. I am the King of Pain, they all said.

Their influence on music videos through the 1980s was also significant - sometimes simple, sometimes somber and surreal. I always enjoyed "Invisible Sun" from "Ghost In The Machine," shot in Ireland and relating to the endless conflict there. But the song, like many others, evokes vivid thoughts about universal experiences. So here it is. And I am eager to see them perform together again, 30 years after their first album was released.

A Conspiracy of Teenage Girls

Last week in the small town of Dunlap, fear and foolishness set up residence after a high school principal says he found a piece of paper in a trash can, allegedly containing a "hit list" of around 300 names. Six teenage girls, between 14 and 15, have been charged with homicide conspiracy.

Names on the list included Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise and The Energizer Bunny. Also, reports say names of people in the school were in this list, which alarmed the principal when they also discovered a My Space page used by the teens and saw the word "kill" used once. The story has made headlines at CNN, Boing Boing and newspapers nationwide.

The Secret Service has also investigated the situation, according to a report in the San Diego press, with a claim that President Bush's name was involved, though they determined no threat existed.

I do understand that knee-knocking fear has gripped school officials, parents and news organizations since the dreadful events at Columbine H.S. In most every public school now armed officers are on patrol, metal detectors are in place, anti-bully guidelines have been adopted and implemented in many states, t-shirts and other clothing as well as entire host of "offenses" can lead to the invoking of so-called "Zero Tolerance" disciplinary actions by schools. Lockdown reports are as frequent as pep rallies. And some politicians have called for arming teachers with guns -- just in case.

One of the oddities of all these urges to make schools safe (and statistically, public schools are still among the safest places for a juvenile) is the "Zero Tolerance" policy. It most often results in the student being banned from a school, and other public schools won't allow a student to enroll once labeled as a violator of this policy. Halting education and isolating kids who find themselves accused of offenses minor or major is better than sending them to a detention facility, though it seems to me more educational efforts and improved involvement with their peers would be much more effective if the goal is to correct bad behavior.

I often wonder what a student today makes of being under the strictness of a Zero Tolerance policy -- where else do they see such rule enforcement? Actual crimes committed in the private and public sectors typically result in months or years of investigations, talk show appearances, book deals, and often evasion of anything resembling being held accountable. Mandatory sentencing guidelines may approach these issues, though many in the judiciary question the wisdom of such broadly harsh sentences often at odds with the crime committed.

Educational reforms get nifty labels, like No Child Left Behind, which will leave an entire school system left out of funding appropriations -- which leads administrators and teachers under grueling pressure to make sure a high test score is attained, usually at the price of teaching the subjects and lessons most needed. A classroom is not a single homogeneous entity, and requiring them all to achieve a standard established by legislative action, in my opinion, isn't a constructive approach.

Tennessee has recently begun implementing "pilot programs" in a handful of counties to provide "obesity report cards" to parents in conjunction with their grades in studies. Students are rated according to the Body Mass Index (B.M.I.). So add more to the responsibilities of schools and add more money for staff to study BMIs and issues regular reports.

At the federal level, new policies are being promoted for random drug testing to take place, and many schools already conduct such tests among athletes and students who engage in extra-curricular programs. Other trendy new policies arrive daily -- but they always seem to address an issue or hot topic via tests and not by education. And again, more pressure on schools to focus on another test, far outside the needs of a classroom.

Teachers and students must be mind-numbed by all this. A typical school conversation about things that annoy or irritate them (like the Energizer Bunny or Tom Cruise) can lead to criminal charges. One has to wonder what students make of the world and the futures ahead of them - a fearful, dangerous world of gun-toting, overweight, drug-addicted, sex-crazed, easily criminalized adults who demand of children behavior those adults struggle to attain.

A High-Point for Stupid

I hate to just say "that is incredibly stupid" even if it is true. But dang, people, this takes the cake, the plate the cake is on, the table on which the plate sits, the room with the table and the building containing the room.

This particular high-point of stupid is a "speed-dating" event in Manhattan called "Natural Selection" (ooooh, Irony, I get it), where the attendees must only be "rich guys" and "hot girls."

Organizer Jeremy Ableson says:

"The sad thing is not the fact that we would put it together. The sad thing is that people will actually pay for it."

At least he is honest about that -- though he also tells reporters:

"It's like people aren't allowed to say, 'I'm looking for a successful man,'" he said. "And it's taboo to say that men are looking for attractive women."

Reeeeeally? Gosh, nobody ever says or thinks like that!!

A few points I have to make - A woman would have to be a Grade-A idiot to be "hot" and unable to locate a wealthy man to date. And a man earning hundreds of thousands a year, or even millions, unable to locate an attractive date is likewise dumber than a sack of hammers.

This event sounds like the cheese-brained plot of some direct-to-DVD National Lampoon movie. Maybe the true "natural selection" at work here is meant to prevent these people from somehow accidentally reproducing.

Perhaps I should just follow the formula here and offer these chuckleheads something they must pay top dollar for ......

How about: "For only a $15,000 monthly fee, I will share information with you about an amazing secret - a clear, readily available liquid which a person can drink as often as they wish and never gain any unwanted weight!!"

In a culture where people pay to take in the delights of an "oxygen bar", the Natural Selection event will be a hit, I'm sure.

Yeesh. While I'm at it, let me offer you a rather smelly lump of mush, which, if you polish it furiously, will turn to solid gold. Send $500,000 for the info on that one.

(Thanks to Sande for sending me this "news" story. The headache it induced was not her fault.)

Reasons to Boost The Minimum Wage

False arguments with no basis in real events swirl around the federal proposal to increase the minimum wage for the first time in a decade. Guest-blogger at NIT this weekend, Glen Dean offers up this topic today.

Thru state actions already completed or set to be complete later this year, only 19 states will retain the current federal minium standard of $5.15 per hour. Has the economic well-being in these states with higher minimums plunged them all into disaster? Far from it. This part of the debate is often ignored by those who oppose increases in a wage, which at $5.15 an hour, adjusted for inflation, has the buying power of $3.95 an hour.

Studies have shown that in states where the federal minimum was replaced with the state's own higher wage, both job growth and overall business growth is much greater than in states where the federal minimum is the standard. For instance:

-- Employment in small businesses grew more (9.4%) in states with higher minimum wages than federal minimum wage states (6.6%)

More details of note:

-- The number of small businesses across the economy with fewer than 50 employees grew by 5.4% from 1998 to 2003 in the higher minimum wage states, compared to a 4.2% increase for the balance of the states.

-- Retail employment in New York increased faster from 2004 to 2005 than overall
employment, while retail’s growth was slower than total employment growth in
neighboring states and in the U.S. as a whole; and

-- The positive effects of the increased minimum wage on low-wage workers’ income were not negated by reduced hours of work.

This analysis does not prove that increasing the minimum wage will boost employment growth over what it otherwise would have been. But it is clear that the prediction that an increase in the minimum wage will result in adverse employment outcomes has not been validated. In fact, this analysis suggests that small employers may benefit from a higher minimum wage because of positive effects on worker retention and productivity and savings on recruitment and training costs.

As for who earns the minimum, R. Neal notes in the comments on today's NIT post that " 46.7% percent of minimum wage earners are 25 or older" and, citing info from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, adds the following:

" Number of minimum wage workers in...

Management/professional: 72,000
Sales/office: 240,000
Production/transportation: 128,000

Only 8.6% of hourly workers work in food prep/serving.

18.9% of hourly workers are in management/professional jobs, 22.7% work in sales/office.

But you are partially correct in that 60.1% of hourly food prep/serving workers make minimum wage.

The point being that just because you and your friends don't know anybody making minimum wage does not mean there aren't people making minimum wage. And they are not all restaurant workers."

Plainly and clearly, from the models and effects of states which have already increased the minimum rates, Congress needs to catch up to the rest of the nation.

All that said, I've often noted the problem with the minimum is that it federally mandates the lowest wages possible. As the examples of so many other states now shows, a higher beginning rate of pay benefts both the employer and employee and obviously aids economic growth rather than damage it.

Camera Obscura - Futurama's Back; Westerns vs Monsters; FOX's Idiocy

There's some good, nay even great news ahead for today.

First, some trash talk. Someone needs to call the forensics investigators to explain the butchering and mangling and ultimate roadside dumping of the comedy "Idiocracy" which landed with a barely-heard thud on DVD a few weeks back. The comedy by Mike Judge has some pure golden nuggets, no doubt.

Doubtless too is the mangled mess of a movie which producers made - blocking the movie's release for years, they then re-edited the movie, slapped on some narration and told theater owners to only offer limited showings for a week.

Too bad - there is much to laugh at in this sci-fi satire set 500 years hence when the population is dumber than a sack of hammers. Funny remains in tattered remnants in the movie - I liked the State of the Union speech held in the House of Representin', the rote repetition of advertising slogans in place of actual knowledge, and all the performances. Even the DVD is a hacked-to-pieces mess: the only extras are "deleted scenes," usually barely three or four words long, and the DVD Menu page is so awful it's impossible to tell what is actually on the menu.

Guess Fox didn't like the way Judge expertly captured the idiocy of television, and the reality that the Stupid of Tomorrow is actually the Stupid of the Now.

Much better news for fans of comedy and science fiction arrives with the promos announcing the Return of Futurama (hat-tip to Wes for the link to the following promo):



Maybe "Idiocracy" director Mike Judge needs to get all Bender and tell Fox to bite his shiny metal ass. (Fox cancelled "Futurama" too.)

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Much fun has been had here at this Cup of Joe via a contest I noticed at Les Jones' place. It's simple: make up your own three-word movie titles for straight-to-video king Steven Seagal. Some of the ones I've thought of:

"My Three Chins"
"Buffet Under Seige"
"Above The Slaw"

And I loved these from the official entries page: "From Russia With Love Handles" and "The Good, The Bad And The .... Hey, You Gonna Eat That?"

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QUOTE of THE WEEK: From the A.V. Club interview with David Lynch: "Cinema is a medium that can translate ideas. But wood can translate ideas, too. You have wood and then you get a chair. Some ideas are for different things."

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What Frank Zappa used to call "Cheepnis" gets a double-dose of life, or rather, Life after Death, with the airing in the wee hours of this Friday/Saturday on Turner Classic Movies with the broadcast of two awful and hilarious movies. The titles for these masterpieces of schlock say it all: "Billy the Kid versus Dracula" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter."

Western cliches, jokes about the Undead, graveyards and guns, and weird fun with electricity and stock footage are wrapped into two of the most nonsensical movies ever made.

More info here.

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Speaking of trying to re-animate the dead, CMT (and their partners at VHI and MTV) are attempting to blend the reality-tv show craze and the dead-as-a-doornail Miss America competition. Yeah, that's gonna fit in great with MTV's usual broadcast fare of shows like "I'm Gonna Convince Your Mom You Should Have Sex With Me On A Bus For A TV Show."

Mister Doctor Smarty Pants

Developing a mathematical theory, with appropriate vectors and an axis and points and inputs and outputs, a psychologist in England determined that Jan. 23 of 2007 was the worst day of the year. AT noted the story and offered a rather fine bit of artwork to attempt to reverse the Day of Universal Suckage. You go, AT.

But I'm always contrary. For instance, how come a psychologist and not a mathematician devised this particular math formulary?

Is there somewhere a very sad math scholar glummed out by the co-opting of his craft by an outsider? WIll said scholar recover?

If anyone is asking (or even if not), I'm marking this whole damn week down as a time of sheer crapola. Oh and I just love the psych's ideas of deflecting the un-awesomeness of the Worst Day of the Year: think of something else, eat breakfast and get showered and dressed. I did eat, then shower and followed by dressing (with clothes, even) and pondered on a wide range of "something elses" and remain confident this week is blowing chunks like a freshman at their first kegger.

Why do I perceive and label this week as bad? Don't ask. Really. I'm supposed to be thinking of something else.

Of course I have a bounty of things to be thankful for. Yep. Could list tons. And I don't need a slide-rule or a statisical analysis to make that list.

And really, if Mister Doctor Smarty Pants in England was actually attempting to do something worthwhile, wouldn't he have provided some information on which day was the Best Day of the Year?

I always liked the sage wisdom on most any topic provided by Walt Kelly and Pogo his friends.

Once, while casually boating with his pal Porky Pine, Pogo asks:

"What day is it right where we is now?"

Porky responds:

"That depends on what month it is."