Curl Up and Dye; or, Washington's Hair Cliff

A recent outrage du jour: the fiscal meltdown of the Senate haircut emporium, promoted by email and 'news' reports:

"Since 1997, the Senate Hair Care shop has consistently run deficits of about $340,000 annually, a taxpayer subsidy that is growing rather than shrinking.

"The Senate hair salon provides about 509 services a week — a range of haircuts, shampooing, coloring and waves, nail services, hair removal and shoe shines. It costs about $900,000 annually to operate."

Some say the salons are getting bailouts.

Confusing this tonsorial dilemma, the House has their hair salon while the Senate has their own, too. Last year the one for the House was cheered, though the year before it was demonized.

Exclusive hair salons, gyms, cafes, car rentals ... It certainly is not easy to remain a pretty politician - even tougher to make a good business model.

Valentine's Day Sewage Plant Tours Return

Valentine's Day tours of a sewage treatment plant were a massive hit with visitors last year, so romantics get more of the same this year too.

OK then.

Montana Zombies and Fashionable Fear

Someone hacked into local Emergency Broadcast Systems in Montana and Michigan to warn viewers that dead bodies were coming back to life as Zombies.

Not really surprising since Zombies are so fashionable these days. Not really surprising since Fear Itself is so fashionable these days too - we're pummeled with Fear at every turn.

Fashionable Fears arrive in a steady stream: schools aren't safe, guns are everywhere, not enough guns are available, snowstorms are named like hurricanes, nuclear weapons are everywhere, asteroids are zooming overhead, the world economy is collapsing, gay people are taking over, illegal immigrants are taking over, government-by-Obama is taking over, Obama was re-elected, drone strikes are targeting everyone, giant soft drink servings are illegal, diet soft drinks give you diabetes, there's no jobs, robots run factories, banks will rob you, the church is full of pedophiles, all sports are fixed, all athletes cheat, the wealthy are under attack, the poor are under attack, prisons are full, prisons are being emptied, the planet is melting, the planet is freezing, food is full of secret genetic mutations, water is poison, your phone/computer/identity has been hacked, you're being stalked by your ex, there's too much information, there's no information being shared, bullies are taking over, space aliens are taking over, you're too fat, you're too skinny, your neighbor is a doomsday prepper, Truth is out of style, you can't afford healthcare, everyone is addicted to prescription pills, radioactive tsunamis and mega-storms are being created by secret military weather machines .... the Apocalypse has begun ...

Fear is the fashion. Fear is a customizable brand.

Remain calm.

Remember, all you have to fear is Fear Itself.

Baracula and Lincolnstein

Inevitable?

What happens when you create a mash up of toys, presidents, and Hollywood monsters ...

Fake Fakery or Bold Boldness?

The daring legislature of Tennessee is pushing for a State Constitutional Amendment to ban a state income tax despite the fact the current constitution has a ban on a state income tax.

Call it pep rally legislation.

This is rather like the "bold" decision that Frito Lay, which created Doritos taco shells for Taco Bell, is now offering Taco Bell flavored chips which will taste like .... Doritos.

It's as if something were actually happening.

The Stench of He-Goats in Mtn. Dew

Some months ago I learned that food additives are beyond bizarre. And despite consumer labels on products we seldom know what we are actually ingesting.

My first surprise was Castoreum, which is a nice way to refer to the anal glands of beavers and is used to flavor cigarettes plus it is used to evoke the flavor of vanilla or other fruits. Products do not list Castoreum but merely say "natural flavoring".

Mmmmm. Tasty.

There's also shellac, which comes from crushed Indonesian beetles and is used to make candy, chocolate, and apples shiny.

The past week brought news that Gatorade was removing brominated vegetable oil as an ingredient. Bromine, a word whose Greek origins means "stench of he-goats", is used as a flame retardant and as a flavor enhancer for Mtn. Dew and orange sodas.

Thousands of additives are in use but items like crushed beetles and anal glands are typically called "natural flavors". Just wrap that odd item with bacon fat or sugar and happy eating!!

Go Hungry Says Sen. Campfield

Children in need are being threatened in legislation from Knoxville Senator Campfield. He wants to withhold food stamps from families if a child makes bad grades in school. Campfield wants kids in poverty to face more hardships, worse, face the prospect of going hungry, if they are also having problems with their studies.

Classy Campfield. Punishing kids is Ugly Government.

Another Tennessee government over-reach means lost jobs. The state wants to force private businesses to allow more weapons in the workplace. The massive investment and growth of the VW manufacturing complex in Chattanooga is in jeopardy thanks to this proposal.

More legislators, sadly including my new State Rep Tilman Goins, are refusing to allow funds for health care in the state from the Affordable Care Act go to those who might need it. Firstly, we've paid the taxes that create the funds and are obligated for the debt it creates too. The least we should expect in return is to receive the health care programs and expansions which would follow. Politics aside, even of the funds are turned away, other states will receive the funds, so why cut us out? The state's Federal representatives have made and are making calls for the repeal of the Act - but no go. Until or unless such a repeal takes place then don't let TN get less than their share. If the state refuses the money then residents will just have to find health insurance on their own.

U

Two Dogs Skype With Each Other

Rep. Roe Wrong Again

Again my congressman, Dr. Phil Roe, and other congressmen are doing it wrong.

He has joined others in proposing a law that says if Congress does not pass a budget then they will refuse their pay. Here's the deal:

It's the fundamental job of Congress to pass a budget, job one. They've wiggled away from that and instead take a pose of pretension. They are supposed to be paid for doing their job - not vow and legislate to reject pay for failing to do their jobs.

And a simple online search shows the idea came from a blog rant last year.

Do your jobs - don't promise to not do it. Many elected officials have returned or refused pay without making laws about it. Deceptive poses may be pretty but they remain deceptive.

Farewell To A Fine Friend

I bring sad news today.

The only and official dog mascot for this blog, Sophie, has passed away. Full name, Sophie Belle Mooney, was rescued from a California animal shelter in the early days of this century by her devoted owner, aka The Editor, and was eventually brought to east Tennessee in 2005, when I was first introduced to her.

A few samples of the adventures she and I shared are part of this blog's history, and the image of her below has been seen and shared around the globe. The picture captures some of her inquisitive and sweet nature, and is emblematic of the deeply personal connection she could make.

I am but one of many uncles and other extended family members for Sophie and count myself enriched for such a connection. There are many tales I might tell, but decided to mention just one today.

On many occasions I took naps with Sophie and they were quite fantastic. Like many of us, I have often relaxed and reclined with dogs and cats but with Sophie there was this quality that what we were doing was linked to an ancient connection between humans and dogs, a wordless bond, a relationship which brought a greater quality of life to us both.

And you, dear reader, either know what I am talking about or you do not, and if not you need to seek out the experience and marvel at what it means.

I join with many, many others who both mourn her loss and celebrate her life. I know there is an inconsolable grief for The Editor now, and some joy for the time which was shared. Enormous thanks to The Editor for introducing us.

Peace dear Sophie. And thank you, too.

Fake Girlfriend, Media FAIL, Football and Being 'Catfished'

Moving at Internet speed yesterday, the Sports website Deadspin revealed Notre Dame's football hero Manti Te'o did not actually have a girlfriend whose romance and sudden death made international news.

The in-depth and riveting story on Deadspin prompted the college, Te'o and the nation's into a scramble of explanations.

The fact is every media outlet failed to confirm the stories they sold as inspirational - the New York Times, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, ESPN, CBS, and many more all got caught short.

The "Catfish" phenomena is growing.

Gun Myths Present And Past

I watched in amazement a C-Span coverage of a public hearing on gun violence aired this weekend recorded in Santa Rosa, CA.

For about 2 and a half hours a large number of half-truths and bizarre claims of impending doom and conspiracy were expressed by average folks - claims about secret CIA projects using laser mind control devices to create deranged killers who are used to promote gun restrictions was one such theory, and more were also offered.

Not all claims were so bizarre but often the comments were based on errors and emotions rather than reality.

A Tennessee man who claimed to be a "tactical security expert" got his gun permits revoked after posting a video online warning he'll kill folks who might seek ownership restrictions. Oh, his "training" isn't actually certified by anyone. Just another maniacal mythmaker.

Gun myths are common though the anger aimed at any who might challenge the myths uncommonly powerful.

Southern Beale points out a few of them, including the nature of some "training" classes:

"The classes I took taught me almost nothing about how to defend myself with a gun. One, taught by a man who said he refuses to get a carry permit because “I don’t think I have to get the government’s permission to exercise my right to bear arms,” packed about twenty minutes of useful instruction into four long evenings of platitudes, Obama jokes, and belligerent posturing. “The way crime is simply out of control, you can’t afford not to wear a gun all the time,” he told us on several occasions."

More mythical history pointed out here.

It will be ridiculously tough to enact common sense gun laws since it appears there is a stunning lack of reality among all the myths.

Everything You Thought Was True Isn't

Being wrong is easy. Often we "learn" the wrong information, or just interpret our experiences through a dim understanding of the world. It happens to all of us. Some folks are confessing online to the things they misunderstood and it makes for such fun reading:

"I thought veterans were "veterinarians" and when walking through NYC in the 80s, seeing tons of "former vet, please help" signs really made me wonder why animal doctors kept falling on hard times.

"I have a friend who one day, in our 20s, said, "Oh my god, I just figured something out! U-Haul is U-Haul because YOU HAUL your own stuff!" We still laugh about that.

"I just found out at the age of 31 that pickles are cucumber. : <

I wrote "for all intensive purposes" in dozens of essays throughout middle school, high school, and college, and no teacher ever corrected me. (They just gave me A's on all of the essays.) It took until the age of nineteen, when my boyfriend finally corrected me, to realize that I had been saying and writing the phrase completely wrong for my entire life."

TN Legislature on the Border of Insanity?

The tragic shooting in Newtown, CT provides at the least an opportunity for discussion and debate about common sense gun laws, mental health issues, and more. Sadly, the talk has drifted into arenas of pop culture, blaming video games and/or movies as some Universal Cause. Or worse, we give serious thought to transforming all that teaching and education have historically meant into a twisted-up worldview of weaponized teaching.

Others in the state are writing and talking about the upcoming legislative "ideas" as several East Tennessee lawmakers are promoting weaponized teachers - a discussion one security expert calls "borderline insanity". More informed education leaders  point out the grave errors in such debate:

"Bowman and Summerford are calling for federal and state dollars to better fund security measures and also for funds for more school counselors, who might help prevent school shootings by recognizing emotional problems in students before they bubble over into violence.

“National Education Association President Dennis Van Roekel supports the idea of trained officers in schools, but not arming teachers.

"In a statement from his office, Van Roekel said “haphazardly putting more guns into our schools is the last thing we should be doing to ensure the safety of our students.”

Here's a few other terrible ideas to ponder since terrible ideas are gaining steam:

- Encourage more students to drop out of school. If fewer kids are in school, fewer could be hurt. Or, just eradicate all public education and instead require each child be home-schooled by a heavily armed parent/guardian.

- Require all schools to provide Ninja training for students from Head Start thru college, establishing dojos in every school.

-  Convert all public buildings into underground bunkers, accessible only through a single entrance, which is guarded by robotic machine guns and bio-metric locks.

Bad ideas arrive too easily for some legislators, drown out reasonable discussion and serve no useful function. However, unless we halt the promotion of bad thinking, bad outcomes will flourish.

Rep. Roe Refuses Emergency Aid to Americans

My congressman, Rep. Phil Roe, is continuing to show off how much he despises folks in need. Worse, he was joined by other Tennessee congressmen who voted against providing emergency funds to repair the devastation left by Hurricane Sandy - $70 billion in damage to New York and New Jersey,  125 lives lost. (NOTE: some very thoughtful discussion at the link above)

Rep. Roe offered this comment as he took his oath of office this week: "There are many challenges facing our nation, and I will continue to be a strong voice for the values of East Tennesseans.”

However refusing to help our fellow Americans who have suffered greatly from a natural disaster is not a part of our values.

Gov. Chris Christie spoke plainly to those elected officials who hold no value for human life: 

"There is only one group to blame for the continued suffering of these innocent victims,” New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) said Wednesday. “The House majority and their speaker, John Boehner."

"This is not a Republican or Democratic issue. Natural disasters happen in red states and blue states, in states with Democratic governors and Republican governors. We respond to innocent victims of natural disasters not as Republicans or Democrats but as Americans. Or at least we did."

Shame on you, Rep. Roe. You dishonor so many with such actions.

Babar Goes To Washington; or Who Ordered The You-Know-What Sandwich?

The Republicans in Washington need an update to their symbol.

The above image captures what I imagine might be the self-image of many a Republican in Washington.(And yes, it pleases me to irritate said group by linking them to French children's literature.)

And let's be honest - the entire Congress under Republican rule for the last few years ranks as the worst-performing and most disappointing since records on performance have been kept. Writer Ezra Klein refers to them as the "rottenest in history" and the "Wile E. Coyote Congress":

"What’s the record of the 112th Congress? Well, it almost shut down the government and almost breached the debt ceiling. It almost went over the fiscal cliff (which it had designed in the first place). It cut a trillion dollars of discretionary spending in the Budget Control Act and scheduled another trillion in spending cuts through an automatic sequester, which everyone agrees is terrible policy. It achieved nothing of note on housing, energy, stimulus, immigration, guns, tax reform, infrastructure, climate change or, really, anything. It’s hard to identify a single significant problem that existed prior to the 112th Congress that was in any way improved by its two years of rule.

"The 112th found legislating so difficult that lawmakers repeatedly created artificial deadlines for consequences and catastrophes intended to spur them to act. But like Wile E. Coyote with his endless supply of Acme products, when the 112th set a trap, the only sure bet was that it would explode in its collective face, forcing leaders to construct yet another hair- trigger legislative contraption."

Ouch!

They invented a fiscal crisis, wailed about it endlessly and barely acted in time to delay the consequences until the last possible moment, which gave most of the Washington representatives from Tennessee time to show off their failings.

My Congressman, Rep. Phil Roe, issued a statement after voting no on the plan approved this week - "Washington cannot continue to tax, borrow and spend."

Um ... isn't that pretty much a major chunk of what government does? Too bad he always says No rather than offering a more positive idea, say, maybe "Government needs to invest in America" - it's education, infrastructure, technology, etc etc.

Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker doesn't sound much better as he offers his view on voting for the plan to avoid fiscal meltdown:

"I looked at the policy of where we were going to be if we didn't pass it or where we would be if we did, and while it was like eating a you-know-what sandwich to vote for this, to me it was a right of passage to this quarter." 

(NOTE to the writer of the article cited above - you mean "rite of passage" maybe? Tsk Tsk.)

2012: Days of Future Passed

As the new year approaches I tend to reflect some, as most folks do, on Past, Present and Future. In truth, I'm likely too reflective on a constant basis, perhaps part of the hard-wired nature of The Writer in My Head.

Given the purely tentative and fragile essence of Life itself, I confess to some surprise to still be a living creature here on this wee speck of a planet in an infinite Universe. Existence for more than a handful of decades defies the odds. Perhaps it is that I have felt as if I were an Old Soul since I was but a young boy. Now that I am far beyond young boyhood, the passage of Time perplexes me far more than ever.

This fading year, 2012, is one where I have realized I am aging to the point of cultural irrelevance, a fact which was driven deep into my thoughts rather too often for comfort. My time here has straddled two centuries, and the changes in how life is lived are radical and spectacular. A great many of the changes were expected, yet many more were not. (Not that such a state is uniquely mine.)

And there's the simple fact that the time which has passed in my life is now greater than the time which is ahead and yet to be lived. Spooky.

The year I was born, Time magazine proclaimed that the "Men of the Year" were Scientists. Scientists. 

Every day, new and startling discoveries are made about our world and how we manipulate it and use it and attempt to understand it. Sadly, this year, the dubious wisdom of the Tennessee state legislature decided that Science was a collection of random theories which were to be challenged and doubted by American grade school and high school students. 

Not that Science solves any and every problem, but the vast wealth of possibility and discovery has apparently been dismissed as if they were mere Superstitions while Superstition is now heralded as a beacon of Truth.

The men who were singled out in 1960 helped to create so many of the innovations which shape life today via technology and medicine, and much more, and hundreds of other inventors and innovators built on their ideas:

George Beadle, geneticist, Charles Draper, designer of the Apollo Guidance Computer, John Enders, "Father of Modern Vaccines", Donald A. Glaser, particle physicist,  Joshua Lederberg, artificial intelligence and genetics,  Willard Libby, chemistry,  Linus Pauling, quantum chemistry and molecular biology,  Edward Purcell, magnetic resonance creator and physicist,  Isidor Rabi, physicist and microwave developer, Emilio Segrè, physicist, William Shockley, "Father of Silicon Valley". Edward Teller, physicist, inspiration for "Dr. Strangelove",  Charles Townes, quantum electronics, James Van Allen, nuclear and astrophysicist, and Robert Woodward, organic chemist.

I often think that it will be the children who have been born in the last few or next few years who will provide the next major shift in how life on our planet is lived -- and I confess that I most selfishly want to live as long as possible just so I can be alive as our wee planet makes another monumental stride into and beyond the realms of possibility.

Here's to you 2013 and all the years and surprises yet to come. 

The Lost: Aboard a Conservative Cruise Ship

It's so easy to highlight the ridiculous and delusional when one takes a cruise ship adventure with a boatload of Conservatives just days after the 2012 Election - one writer joined a National Review-sponsored cruise and the report is a metaphorical descent into a malestrom.

"Hassett pivoted to the liberal media. “I actually think that Goebbels was more critical of Hitler than the New York Times is of Obama,” said Hassett, tucking into a piece of strudel. “I was in the middle of the fight against the propaganda, and I have stories like you wouldn’t believe. These people are so evil. They’re basically Fascists. It’s unbelievable.” 

---

"Rob Long, a conservative Hollywood TV writer behind a TNT show called ­Sullivan & Son, said the party has to accept that it’s been living in a fantasy world. “It’s like The Matrix,” he said. “You can continue to live in the dream world, or you can take the pill and we can unplug you and you can see that things are actually kind of bad.”

---

"John Yoo, the former Bush Administration lawyer who helped formulate its theory on torture ... worried that the Republicans were too quick to blame each other, saying, “This is all out of Lord of the Flies and Karl Rove is Piggy and we’re supposed to all chase him around with spikes and throw him on a fire?”

Tree - Nog - Roast Beast

Tree. Nog. Roast Beast.

Merry Christmas to All.

Annual Christmas Photo Caption Contest

Yes, it's that time again - craft your best caption for the photo above and you too can be a WINNER!

What will you win? A giant heapin' helpin' of my love and devotion, that's what. Not too shabby. (And of course, you'll receive the satisfaction of a job well done!!)

A caption to get you started --

"Say Mayan Apocalypse one more time, and there will be something way worse than coal in yer stocking."