The Monkey In The Heart of Memphis

The pic above is from Elvis' TV room in Graceland and is from a collection of pics made by Tits McGee, who was in Memphis last weekend to see her sister get married. Her photos of her trip to Graceland are jes' beautiful. Check them all out.

NOTE: Walking Elvispedia, aka Valley Grrrl points out in the comments on this post that the monkey in the picture is also the source of inspiration for Warren Zevon.

NCAA Bans Bloggers

Both reporters or anyone else who dares to write and blog about a sporting event while it is taking place are crooks, says the NCAA.

Mike Silence has been writing about the confrontation between the NCAA and the press and public at his page. Much of this was prompted by a reporter tossed from a game for live-blogging what the game status was.

Here's the NCAA stand, according to the Oregonian:

"The NCAA claims ownership rights to any during-the-game information and that it can be distributed only through those outlets to which it has granted rights. That means ESPN, in the case of the super-regionals. Lawyers quoted in press accounts seem to believe the NCAA is within its rights.

But it is perplexing as to how a newspaper blogging half inning by half inning -- posting information that has been on live TV many minutes before -- somehow threatens the NCAA or ESPN's revenue stream. One could also argue that once broadcast the information is public.

And we won't even get into the notion that the NCAA can threaten newspapers and their reporters, but also claims that no one anywhere in a stadium can blog during the game. Do they really think they will stop some fan with a PDA from blogging out of the left-field bleachers at the CWS, even if it is just to a few buddies back in the dorm in Corvallis?"

Mike has more info here and here. And he pretty much lays down the facts in the NCAA claims:

"If we sit back and take this, we have only ourselves to blame."

Strange Tech Gadgets

I think the idea of making an object which is meant to perform one function look like something utterly and totally different has been with humans a long time. I know there have been many such instances in my wee lifetime, often the weird mish-mash of objects is the selling point of the item. Such as telephones that look like ducks or footballs, a cigarette lighter that looks like an alien-head or a pistol, or even those odd household items you see like a candy dish shaped like a leaf. Why is it that people feel compelled to make a jittery plate of jello look like a Pilgrim or an art-deco ziggurat?

Techies today have been having some fun with the idea too, and a fine example is this flash-drive designed to look like, well, just what you see here: a headless teddy bear. Other items like this include little dogs that look like they are humping the computer. There is of course at least one list of the Top 10 Weirdest USB connectors, and the teddy bear isn't even on the list.

All these items were found at a blog I've been perusing for laughs, called Shallow and Tacky.

One item the blog mentioned over the weekend was the strange case in New Jersey where folks were getting liposuction done in some chick's garage. Yeah, smart idea. Just be careful when they start using that sand-blaster on yer hips.

Designers also offer a mouse for your computer which will monitor your vital health stats as you waste, I mean spend, time at your computer.

Banning Science and Mr. Coffee

Are science education in our schools and scientific curiosity in general being sacrificed in service to Fearful America?

As a result of state laws attempting to squash the home-made production of methamphetamine, once commonly obtained items like beakers and vials, as well as science programs in schools, are now part of an ever-growing list of banned items. Wired magazine talks about the issue here, noting:

"In the meantime, more than 30 states have passed laws to restrict sales of chemicals and lab equipment associated with meth production, which has resulted in a decline in domestic meth labs, but makes things daunting for an amateur chemist shopping for supplies. It is illegal in Texas, for example, to buy such basic labware as Erlenmeyer flasks or three-necked beakers without first registering with the state’s Department of Public Safety to declare that they will not be used to make drugs. Among the chemicals the Portland, Oregon, police department lists online as “commonly associated with meth labs” are such scientifically useful compounds as liquid iodine, isopropyl alcohol, sulfuric acid, and hydrogen peroxide, along with chemistry glassware and pH strips. Similar lists appear on hundreds of Web sites.

“To criminalize the necessary materials of discovery is one of the worst things you can do in a free society,” says Shawn Carlson, a 1999 MacArthur fellow and founder of the Society for Amateur Scientists. “The Mr. Coffee machine that every Texas legislator has near his desk has three violations of the law built into it: a filter funnel, a Pyrex beaker, and a heating element. The laws against meth should be the deterrent to making it – not criminalizing activities that train young people to appreciate science.”

Or making coffee. Yeah, I wonder if lawmakers considered banning, say Mason jars, too.

Couple that story with others, such as this one, which questions whether any of the recent alleged terrorist plots were even possible:

"I don't think these nut jobs, with their movie-plot threats, even deserve the moniker "terrorist." But in this country, while you have to be competent to pull off a terrorist attack, you don't have to be competent to cause terror. All you need to do is start plotting an attack and -- regardless of whether or not you have a viable plan, weapons or even the faintest clue -- the media will aid you in terrorizing the entire population."

An ever-confusing alarmist mindset will not serve anyone except those who use terrorism as political tactic.

Demonizing science can only dumb down the country. Replacing science with superstition isn't moving forward, it's racing backwards in time and abandoning rational thought.

Is this perhaps why we have a growing culture which is embracing ideas such as the one being offered in a 'museum' in Kentucky, where claims are made that the reason the T. Rex had long sharp teeth was so it could eat coconuts.

Camera Obscura: 21st Century Movie Mayhem

Time again to wade deep into the shallow end of movies.

Oh, the things I watch so you don't have to, and the things you (meaning The Public) watch which I take in many months after the movie is on The Hot List. All that and more is here in this regular Friday feature.

Let's tackle a new movie first, like the based-on-a-really-bad-video-game - "D.O.A." "D.O.A." is a video game about ... uh, well,chicks in skimpy outfits who fight in tournaments, and there are like 4 or 5 game 'sequels' including one involving volleyball. They could have just called the game Nekkid Fu-Fightin' Chix, but I guess D.O.A. sounds ... more clinically violent. The movie offers up Jamie Pressley, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance and Eric Roberts (as the Bad Guy), and is directed by fight choreographer Corey Yuen. And boasts 4, count 'em, 4 screenwriters. It was supposed to be released last October, but distributors wisely reset the date for the summer.

Why make the movie? I think it has something to do with the fact that Maxim magazine makes money, that kung fu movies make money, and that America loves sex and violence. Especially when there is absolutely no logic, narrative or reason for the sex or the violence. Here's one write-up of the plot which made me laugh out loud: "Three female fighters are chosen to take part in DOA: Christie Allen, a sexy jewel thief, Tina Armstrong, a tough-as-nails pro-wrestler and Kasumi, a Ninja princess."

Yuen is a highly imaginative fight director, and pre-adolescent boys who pay (repeatedly) to see this PG-13 hoo-ha will be in Heaven. Fighting. With Chicks.

The reviews are in for the new Fantastic Four movie and they are not fantastic. They are really bad. Clocking in at 87 minutes, the movie is apparently still too long according to some critics. I may go see it, but only because Silver Surfer is an old favorite of mine. The good news is the Silver Surfer will be getting his own movie, with "Babylon 5" writer J. Michael Straczynski providing the script.

As I am an inclusive person, here's a movie for the women -- a movie of nekkid dudes in an action setting!! There are plenty of bare butts, ripplin' muscles and even a love story in the fresh to DVD "Apocalypto." It's a bizarre mish-mash of history and hysteria, and director Mel Gibson provides heaps of torture and dismemberment in his .... well, it isn't really an Epic, though it has Epic Moments.

I will say however that the visual style and cinematography are so good, there is truly little need for script or subtitles to the movie. It's so well presented that almost anyone can grasp the story and the drama by the vivid pace and graphic violence. Run, Jaguar Paw, Run!!

I liked the movie a little bit better when it was called "The Naked Prey", as that film's Lessons in Empire Building were more clearly expressed. Still, Mel Gibson knows how to ramp up the action and show off the beefcake, so have at it ladies.

For sheer weirdness , the Movie of the Week this time out goes to "The Thirst." The advertisements claim the movie is a cross between "Requiem For A Dream" and "Near Dark", but it isn't nearly that good. It does have a cast of fairly well-known performers Clare Kramer (Glory from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"), Adam Baldwin ("Serenity") and Jeremy Sisto.

The plot is nearly indescribable nonsense -- a stripper and recovering drug addict (Kramer) is turned into a vampire one night. Her boyfriend, who is not a stripper but is a recovering drug addict and nerd, sees his ex-living girlfriend in some skeezy Goth-strip club which looks like some kid's idea of a how a basement in his parent's house could look cool. So he gets turned into a vamp too.

The boyfriend learns his girlfriend is now living among a group of vampires who are hiding out in a church camp for kids, awaiting the first campers of the season. The duo decide to kick the vampire habit and take down the vamp family. Oh, and there's some plot point about only women being able to turn people into vampires, but no one has fangs. There is more arterial blood spray in the movie than I've seen in a long time - this blood sprays out like it was designed by the guy who did the water fountains at the Bellagio in Las Vegas or maybe the guys who did the Mentos and Diet Coke videos.

Oh, and the Vampire Family includes two sort-of Asian Twins who speak gibberish and slither all over the place. Their performance and presence are indicative of the unlimited nonsense in "The Thirst". I've seen worse movies, and that's about the highest praise I can give this one. When vampirism is the cure for rehab, it just is not going to be a good day (or a good movie).

Moon Pie Party and the Bonaroo Festival

Big crowds and much entertainment abounds this weekend in middle Tennessee. You can choose between the constantly growing Bonnaroo festival or the traditional old school celebration of Moon Pies and RC Cola.

For some 13 years, the adoration of the Moon Pie and RC Cola has been held in Bell Buckle, with this year's bash set for Saturday. Events include a coronation of the Moon Pie King and Queen and the World's Largest Moon Pie Cutting Ceremony. Full schedule of events are here at the official site. As a child raised in Tennessee, I myself prefer the full three-course Southern Lunch: a white-bread baloney sandwich, topped off with a Moon Pie for dessert and all washed down with an icy cold RC Cola. I will confess, though, I think the last time I dined in such fashion I was in my teens.

The massive Bonnaroo Festival is underway this weekend in Manchester. Live broadcasts via the web and satellite radio are available for that, and lots of folks are blogging the event, including my fine friend Atomic Tumor (though blogging more at his convenience than for news, and with the style and observations that make AT such a great read). The official 'Roo site has all the news and links to hearing/seeing the event.

I am not sure if anyone has ever live-blogged a Moon Pie Festival, but perhaps it's time.

'Yeah, They're Dead. They're All Messed Up.'

As I am loathe to just jump in and participate in every goofy popular web/blog trend that rolls thru the internets, I am a fan of the zombie movie stuff, and since Newscoma did alert me that today is "Blog Like It's The End of the World!", then I am in. The premise, begun here, is that folks should blog like a full-blown worldwide zombie apocalypse is underway.

And hey, I've joined in for "Talk Like A Pirate Day" and "Wear a Gorilla Suit Day", so then why not this one?

Here's some things to consider -- at best, both electricity and fuel for vehicles will be utterly unavailable within a matter of hours. If you can find a bookstore to loot, which is likely as zombies don't read much, get yourself a copy of Max Brooks "Zombie Survival Guide". It has plenty of helpful info, but your reading time is gonna be limited. If you are traveling in a group, get one person to read as the rest of you flee for safety.

As Max has noted, one of your best defensive weapons will be a good, hefty axe. They need no ammo at all to work well.

Do not spend too much time bemoaning the fact you haven't already read Max's book, or that you did not join up to promote the Zombie Preparedness Initiative. Too late now.

In a recent interview, Max was asked:

"How can a layperson like myself distinguish between a zombie and a bureaucrat?

Max Brooks: Simply put, a zombie will try to eat you, a bureaucrat will try to ruin several hours of your day."

Trust me, a bona-fide zombie is not going to require a lot of pondering on the "hey is that a zombie?" issue. You'll know.

As I was thinking about what to write for this BLITEOTW Day, I wondered how the current media might handle the event. For instance:

The story on FOX News: "Well at long last, the Democrats have shown what they really are and what they really want -- they are the Undead and they want to eat you or convert you. These Demo-Zoms are anti-family and anti-American! .... oh wait, holy crap! Is that Ronald Reagan?? Looks like he has decided to rejoin the Democrat Party. And we can confirm that Hillary Clinton is registering the zombies to vote."

The story on CNN: "We have exclusive footage of the Anna Nicole Smith zombie and she's devouring an attorney and a .... hold on, hold on, Paris Hilton has a comment to make ...."

Drudge Report: Zombies eating brains! Rush Limbaugh, Neal Boortz, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace, Michael Savage, Michelle Malkin, have NOT been attacked!

OK, fine, those are the easy jokes.

Now on to the blogging the zombie doom outside my doorway.

Here's how I would cover it:

"Outta here, suggest you do same."


ADDENDUM: A new zombie-comedy movie is set to open in limited release this weekend, called "Fido". A friend sent me a trailer for the movie, which is set in an alternate 1950s America. Some cosmic debris from a passing comet has turned all the dead into zombies, Fortunately, a giant corporation known as ZomCom, has established a method to 'domesticate' them and they are put to work as servants and menial laborers. A young boy named Timmy finally gets one of his own at his idyllic suburban home, who he calls Fido (played by Billy Connolly). Carrie-Anne Moss plays Timmy's mom. It looks pretty funny, so in honor of this day, here's the trailer:

TN Legislature Rejects Real ID Act

More good news today -- the TN Legislature has adopted a resolution rejecting the Real ID Act!

Mike Silence noted the vote on SJR248 today.

My hearty congratulations to the state - now it's time for the federal representatives from Tennessee to take action and repeal this terrible legislation. Forget asking for federal funds for the act -- repeal it!

Contact your elected officials via these email, phone and faxes.

Local Congressman Designates 'Eagle Day'

1st District Congressman David Davis sponsored a Resolution which Congress adopted last week which is called "American Eagle Day", to be observed on June 20th.

While I have often been critical of the Republican Congressman's take on numerous national issues, I do appreciate his appreciation of one of the nation's symbols, and more importantly, his high praise for the dedicated and successful work of the American Eagle Foundation in Pigeon Forge:

"This non-profit group has worked to establish recovery programs to protect the eagle, and actively cares for many non-releasable birds to ensure they live healthy lives.

“In addition, they operate the largest bald eagle-breeding facility in the world, and have released hundreds of eaglets into the wild with the support of local, state, and federal officials.

“Through the efforts of the American Eagle Foundation and a grassroots effort by children nationwide, I was pleased to offer this legislation for consideration."

Indeed, the organization daily works to protect those beautiful creatures and to expand our ability to nurture and study American Eagles. Their web site is here, though their eagle nest cam is down until next year, but this site is full of information and I encourage you to learn about the group, and support them if you can through donations.

I am also thankful that Rep. Davis' first bill presented to Congress was not some wacky, unwarranted partisan policy. Though it will be noted his resolution isn't really much of a stretch - it's kind of like a bill saying "Hey. I like America and American Eagles" and it's hard to fault an elected official for making that kind of pronouncement.

Now if the Congressman will apply his efforts on some other rather important issues, he'll earn much, much more of my respect.

NOTE: Some other ideas on National Symbols.

Show Me Your Papers, American!

Some controversial new laws for American citizens has me wondering in a most negative fashion about how much government documentation the future American will be required to carry.

I've mentioned some of this before, like the Real ID Act, tacked onto legislation to provide relief funding for victims of the tsunami that struck Southeast Asia. The law mandates every citizen in the U.S. must have this new ID if they wish to open a bank account, travel on an airline, collect social security, enter a federal building, utilize any Federal service, get a job and more. And like Russ McBee has written, this law needs to be repealed.

Over the weekend, I learned about another new law, which I had never heard about, enacted under the title "Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative." Under this law, American citizens who travel to Mexico, Canada, Bermuda, or take cruises to the Caribbean must now have passports to return to the U.S. As of next year, says the law, if you drive or walk into Mexico or Canada, you'll have to have a passport to return.

But this past weekend, the massive backlog of those Americans who seek such passports for travel is so large, the law has been put on hold for a few months until the State Dept. can hire hundreds of new employees to process applications. However:

"This summer also may not spell the end of the passport crunch.

Homeland Security has insisted it plans to go ahead with a January 2008 start for requiring passports at all land border crossing in the United States — a security measure that could trigger a new frenzy of applications."

Since the Real ID law mandates each state create their own IDs, will other states formally accept them since they are from other states? Will we need passports to travel from state to state? Or will we need documents giving permission to travel out of and return to our home states and documents giving permission from the states we wish to visit?

UPDATE: The state legislature has voted to reject the Real ID Act and calls for federal officials to repeal it.

State To Cut Sales Tax, Morristown Set To Raise It

This week the state government crafted a much-agreed to plan for a rollback on state sales tax on food from 6 percent to 5.5 percent. The state Democrats pushed for the rollback, which is likely to be approved by the state and will go into effect on Jan. 1 2008.

The plan only affects food sales tax and customers will get a - somewhat small - break.

Except in Morristown.

Poised to enact a property tax rate increase of 40% the city also plans to provide a referendum (is it one of those city games of a non-binding votes the city has held before if the public rejects it?) which would increase the local option on sales tax on all items by .25 percent and decrease slightly the massive property tax rise. If approved, grocery taxes would be cheaper outside Morristown city limits.

In addition to the sales tax increase and the historically high new property tax on residents and businesses, the city also wants to tax residents and business under a new 'storm water assessment", a new tax based on 'impermeable square footage' for property owners and they hope to net some $400,000 annually. That's about the same amount of they city's 'book-keeping error' from last year.

The first Morristown council meeting to vote on these proposals, June 14 at 4 p.m., is also the same meeting where the public will be allowed for the first time to comment on these widespread tax increases. According to city officials, all these tax increases will only allow the city to operate for 3 years before another increase is needed.

UPDATE: As I mentioned on this topic before, I doubt there will be much if any dissent on the increase, since comparatively the rate in Mo'town is pretty low anyway. I do wonder just how much taxes and the dubious management of city finances must increase before the public does decide to get involved in the issue.

Lessons in Blog Sarcasm

Some things I learned this week:

Wading deep into the mire and muck and into the witless hubris of some blogs dotting the cyberscape which are best referred to as My Sarcastic Ironic Metaphors Are Better Than Yours, I was reminded of three old sayings from old people.

First, from a conversation I had once on my grandfather's farm on summer day -- "Boy," he said, pointing to a steaming cowpie, "That there is bullshit. Now, it ain't got no use unless you use it as fertilizer. The difference between a human and a bull is that a bull will drop a big ol' pile of shit and walk away from it and a person will make a pile of shit and crow about how proud they are of it, polish it all up as if it would turn into solid gold and then go in search of more bullshit to make folks think they have mastered the art of goldsmithing."

Next, a quote from G.B. Shaw - "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

Third, Shaw also wisely notes, "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty and the pig likes it."

POSTSCRIPT: Nope, not going to link to the blogs of not-sarcastic-just bullshit wordgasms helmed by not-Generals and Meatless buffets, because my grandfather taught me to lead folks away and not into shit. Plus many Tennessee blogs including mine have given you much context on this topic all week. (If yer burnin' with desire to know details, use the email option in my profile.)

Camera Obscura - Extended Tom Hanks Pop-Fest; 'Diggers'; Raimi's FEARnet

Two movies fresh to DVD are very much worth the time (and money), one a new indie feature and the other is a massive extended director cut for "That Thing You Do!", written and directed by Tom Hanks, which tracks a 60s-era pop band as they rise and fall.

I highly recommend the Extended Cut for "That Thing You Do!" which was always infectious fun in it's first release. The story follows a 1964-era wanna-be pop band who move from the garage to national stardom in a rapid rise. The rise and the effects of sudden fame do not, however, detail a weird decent into excesses and self-destruction. Hanks, as both writer and director, keeps the focus on how both success and failure and the fleeting nature of fame are met with grace, how the characters treasure the joys the success brings, and how the bonds of friendship endure. Yeah, the movie isn't about people imploding, but about the optimism of the era.

This new DVD also contains the theatrical cut, but the Director's Cut is just a bit better. Either way, this is a real crowd-pleaser. What's new in the nearly 30-minutes of new footage? For one, the central character, Guy (Tom Everett Scott) gets a girlfriend we actually get to see, played by Charlize Theron. There are alos many more funny scenes about the band, about the record label's other acts, and a curious scene wherein manager Mr. White (Hanks) seems to be headed on a date - with a man.

Mix in the already great performances in the movie from Liv Tyler, Steve Zahn, Hanks and more. Hanks' script and direction are great examples of good character writing and sharp pacing.

Also of note, the tune, "That Thing You Do!" was penned by Adam Schlesinger, who has since gone on to play bass in the band Fountains of Wayne. You can order a copy of the movie by clicking on the banner below.



-----

A recent indie feature which played to great response at the SXSW Film Festival last year is now on DVD and is titled "Diggers." The story here is one set in the mid-70s, about longtime friends all back in their Hamptons hometown on the East Coast and trying to make sense of how to continue a multi-generational lifestyle of being clam diggers. The ensemble cast includes Paul Rudd and Maura Tierney (and oh, what a crush I have on her - my brother in law Fred knows her and yes, I've sent messages via Fred that she rocks my world.) Where was I?

Oh yeah - "Diggers" is both dramatic and funny, a realistic slice of life about the burdens of traditioins, the yearning for freedom, and the effects of work and family and was written by (and features) KenMarino, who was a writer-performer on the cable comedy The State. Based partly on his own life, his story can be both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Here's a trailer for "Diggers:"




Order a copy of "Diggers" by clicking on the banner above.

NOTE: My thanks for getting to see both the above mentioned DVDs via M80. I love these guys who have sent me tons of great flicks in all genres and and I'm happy to say we'll continue to work together in the future!

-----

The media empire created by Spiderman and Evil Dead franchises, director Sam Raimi, has expanded this week with the internet creation FEARnet. Web episodes, streaming movies, shorts, trailers, featurettes, behind-the-scenes, news and more from all things spooky from both newcomers and familiar filmmakers. The site started it's first web-series this on Wednesday.

I heart Sam Raimi.

Whew! The Awaited Vol Child Abroad Arrives

Much congrats to the Vol Abroad and family as wee young Cletus (whoops, make that William) has arrived.

Welcome to the planet Wee Vol! Some pics here.

Massive Property Tax Increase for City

I feel so sorry for the city residents in Morristown, since they have been so ill-informed and aware of city government policies but on the other hand, seeking information and accountability does not seem to be a priority either. The result is that the city is about to enact the largest tax increase in the city's history. Still, with the increase, the tax rate on property will be about $1.35 per $100 of assessed value, and perhaps residents are just gladly oblivious.

Oddities abound in the revelation that the city's finances are tanking. Such as - the information was not a topic among the recent city election in May. And since only a few thousand people bothered to even vote anyway, well, it's as if the residents just shrugged and went on to putter in the yard or watch some TV rather than vote. However, since info of an impending financial nightmare was absent, who can blame them?

The budget problems seem to be rooted in pie-in-the-sky projections from the city staff. They adopted previous budget plans based on the idea that sales tax growth would be about 5% over the next 5 years -- a 25% increase in city revenues got zero response from elected officials, though that is a massive increase, essentially doubling the real revenue activity. Local press calls it "stagnant sales tax collection" instead of "normal rate of collection, which was negligently overestimated".

And conveniently for elected officials, all this was absent info until after the elections ended.

A new garbage collection tax on city residents, rising insurance costs for the city, rising costs of (also grossly under-estimated) city-wide sewer system construction, pay hikes for city employees, expanding the ranks of the police department are just some of the post-election realities now being served up to residents.

I have thought for a long time that A.) I am very glad I am a county resident and not a city one. While city actions can have an impact on the county, since I do not live in nor vote in the city affairs, then there is not much I can do or say. Also at the county level, just about all those in charge of running the county are elected and not appointed, which leads me to the next point; B.) The source of the problem in my opinion is that the elected city council and mayor positions have no, or limited, impact on city policies and operations. The city's administrator runs the show and no one votes for who has that job other than the council itself, whose knowledge of the city's affairs are all filtered through that same administrator.

Yet continuing to rely on the people who failed you in such a large way -- would that happen in the private sector? I seriously doubt it. The overall cost of taxation may be small, but the mistakes that led to the budget woes were preventable. And the burden of fixing the mess is landing on the residents rather than on those who cause the mess.

WKRN About To Lose Out

Terrible news from Brittney, who is resigning as blog hostess at Nashville Is Talking. She has been needlessly beaten and abused of late. I hope WKRN-TV realizes they need to rally to support her in a major way rather than allow her to be cut loose.

I respect her viewpoint and reasoning on wanting to go. The threats and hatred are frightening. Which again means to me the management at WKRN need to celebrate, elevate and embrace the enormous success her work has created. Like some others, I wonder if the new management at the station is pushing for her to go instead. Their loss. And a major one.

UPDATE: Fortunately, I do not think her voice could ever be silenced. In fact, she'll be getting a bit more kick ass at her own place, Sparkwood & 21.

Random Points on the Map of Joe

Is anything really random? Or is something else, like Mitochlorians maybe, coursing through us to design some vast unknowable quilt of life?

I do know a young and growing boy who is named Random, but I digress.

From the internets arrives today a meme, a tag event, from the impressive pages of Newscoma. The instructions are as follows:

"I just need to quickly write 8 random facts/habits about myself, then tag 8 people. If I tag you, you had better play."

Okey doke, I'm on it, NC.

1 -- First, I must say a random fact is that right here on the floor by my foot there has been a copy of "Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III" in the Uncut VHS version and it has been there for months now. It has not moved and I've been watching it daily and it just stays right where it is. I don't think I've watched anything on VHS on more than two years ... wait, no, I take that part back. I did watch my VHS copy of John Woo's "Hard Boiled" about two weeks ago. When Chow Yun-Fat plays a cop named Tequila and ends up rescuing babies from a maternity ward during a bajillion-gun slo-mo shoot-out, you have some serious entertainment. Viggo Mortensen is in "Leatherface" and the movie features the line "The Saw Is Family" but I still have yet to place that VHS in the VCR and watch it, so it just lays there like some demented dust-bunny.

2 -- Can a habit be random? I must remember to think about that.

3 -- This year I have not been fishing yet, which is a habit I used to have more intensely. I love to go fishing and am surrounded by some most excellent lakes. So I will have to go to it soon. Have I ever told you about the time I went fishing and lost my pants and had to run naked to my truck? It is a true story. I was crossing a dry (I thought) spot in the lake-bed one December day en route to my truck at a nearby state park. The not-dry lake-bed suddenly became an evil mud-bog and I was suddenly stuck chest-deep in the mud. Fearing for my life, the only safety tip I could think of was about what to do if you fell through some ice into a lake, which was to flatten my arms and what was unstuck of my upper body across the muddy ground. So I sank no further. I let go of my tackle box, which was in one hand, and used my fishing pole in the other hand to attempt to leverage my body out of the muck.

That's when I felt my sneakers go. Ah well, I thought, there is no getting those back as 70 percent of my body was still beneath the ground. I could see my truck, about 80 yards away, taunting me. Again, I used my fishing rod to leverage me up and that's when it started -- my jeans slid off of my backside and weirdly cool mud mingled freely with my nether regions and I stopped moving immediately sensing like a bona-fide psychic what would soon be my future mud-slimed naked self standing near the boat ramp of a state park.

I pondered my options for the next few moments. I noted the utter absence of any other people nearby and then considered trying to snake an arm down into the vice-like grip of mud surrounding me to snag the jeans. Putting more of me back into the muck was not an option. With great relief, I recalled that my wallet and my keys to the truck were in my tackle box, which was above ground. I took a deep breath and did what had to be done. Like those earthworms I had, at times, used as bait, I wriggled up from the dirt and mud inch by inch until I had a naked knee on the ground and the wind whipped about my muddy butt. As all of my legs emerged, the hole closed up behind me as if it never existed, my jeans and shoes forever a part of the earth's crust.

I stood for a moment, wearing only a muddy t-shirt, feeling like a primeval creature who dared approach the world bipedally. Snapping back into reality, I bolted for the truck somehow opening my tackle box in mid-flight to get my keys out. And then I realized that even once I reached the sanctuary of my vehicle, I still faced about a 15 minute ride home through heavy commuter traffic naked and covered in lake mud. Also, the impending naked run from truck to house. This was not over. I never veered from my goal, however. I was nakedly committed to finishing this episode. Suffice to say that driving naked was kinda fun, but not fun like you might repeat the act. True, I may have smiled more at the vehicles around me as I steered through school zones and shopping districts, especially when I was stopped at traffic lights. Finally home, I appreciated the usefulness of pants in a new way and to this day know that the lake ate my jeans and sneakers with extreme prejudice. Still, I survived to tell this tale.

4 -- Wow that last point was way to long. As a rule though, I have never ever fished naked. Just went home naked once.

5 -- I must remember to ask the guy at the record store when the new Beastie Boys is coming out. I wanna get that. Their new one will be an all instrumental album and those boys can play some funky grooves. (I really should not have told that story about me being naked.)

6 -- Really, I'm thinking I should not have told that.

7 -- This isn't going well is it? it's turned from a random fact/habit list into something else, but on the plus side, I'm almost done.

8 -- Whew! I reached number 8 and am almost done here. OK, one more random fact/habit. Ummm ... how about .... I collect old post cards and ... nope, all I can think now is how embarrassed I am that I told that naked fishing episode. Damn.

OK, that's my fulfillment of the Newscoma Directive. Next -- name some other blog writers to take on this project. How about:

Les Jones

Salem's Lots

The Freedonian

Juliepatchouli

Tennessee Jed

Cherokee Sage Woman

Fine, that's only six. But I gotta go lay down now.

Wacky Funtime Blog Comments

It did not take long yesterday for the comments regarding a possible election race between two former Tennessee senators, Thompson and Gore, turned into a mish-mash of gibbering madness. While I appreciate that this humble but lovable blog was featured in the post at No Silence Here, I am even more grateful I did not get the comments that were generated there!

All that noise would have given me a headache.

Hooo-eeee, people. Such rabid indignation and creative assertions of fanciful notions do not make me swell with pride as reasoned discourse turns into ... well, I am not sure what all that noise is except noise. If one or the other of these Non-Official Candidates gets your corn to popping, I am happy for you. Still, if the talk in those comments represents the views of people who actually vote, then no wonder we get the politicians we get.

PS - I better give credit to The Editor for that "corn popping" phrase as she is the only one I've heard use it before.

UPDATE: More fine examples of comment insanity were visited today upon NiT. Such as "And since we’re all being candid with each other, let me just say how much I revile “The South” and everything it stands for. Your whole claim to distinction versus other states is based on a failed revolt to keep your abominable practice of institutional racism, which most of you now fondly remember as your golden age. If there’s a problem here it’s only that Reconstruction ever ended.

Hoo-eee. Is the heat? Lack of fiber?

Tobacco Battle in Legislature

Last night the state Legislature gave their approval to raising the tax on cigarettes by 62 cents per pack. The increase is largely meant to do one thing - provide more money for education. Democrat Senator Jim Kyle sent an email out late last week noting that the new revenues would increase the state portion paid for the BEP funding formula for schools from 65 to 75 percent.

"By increasing state funds and reducing local government funds, your local government benefits tremendously. Home owners should expect and should demand lower property tax payments in the future because their local government will have a smaller obligation on its largest budget item.

----

"What does this say about the Tennessee Senate? What does this say about Democrats and Republicans? I would say that it speaks volumes as to who can be trusted to lead our state. Please remember, for months Republicans said there were other ways to finance the education plan and the tobacco money was not needed, but in the end, Republicans did not fight the tax; they did not offer alternatives to the tax; they simply stood on the sidelines."

Tom Humphrey writes about the fierce battle in the Legislature, as Republicans attempted to tack on amendments to the bill, led mostly by Greeneville Republican David Hawk. Hawk wanted to earmark $100 million to go to the state's schools for construction costs. Since there are 195 school districts, the amount going to each school would have barely been a percentage of the typical costs of construction projects are in the tens of millions of dollars.

Paying more into the BEP at the state level means lower costs for funding by local governments, which typically pay for school funding increases through higher property taxes or through taxes for things like local wheel taxes. But will we actually see a local tax decrease? I sort of doubt it as local governments will likely decide they have other needs which MUST be paid for.

So smoke 'em if ya got 'em and if you can find a place that allows to smoke, and thanks for Volunteering to pay a new education tax.

Also see a wrap-up at Volunteer Voters.

The Hunt for Fred November

After watching former Tennessee senator Fred Thompson speak to a gathering of some 400 Virginia GOP fundraisers, I have realized what office he is seeking. He may not be seeking the office of George W. Bush, but he is certainly aiming to take over from Dick Cheney.

With grim faced-seriousness, Thompson was doing a first rate impression of Cheney. He blamed all ills on terrorism, Democrats, the Media and activist-judges. One comment that I found most spin-heavy and content-empty was the one where he railed against the Judiciary Branch, saying they had their priorities all wrong, that the government could seize private land for private development thru eminent domain but if you want to put a Nativity Scene on the Courthouse Lawn, you cannot. Huh??

It was a pure Rove-Speak event. While I was most curious to watch Thompson campaigning, what I saw was rather a sad continuation of the polices of the Cheney White House. Much anger, and much disappointment that the "media" was not telling the Good Stories.

And that pending Immigration Bill being pushed by President Bush? Thompson said it was all Teddy Kennedy's fault.

Guess he did not read the editorial last week by GOP guru Peggy Noonan, who said Bush's bill was the last straw and a sign for All Good Conservatives to Abandon Bush. She wrote that really, her disillusion (and the country's) has been growing for years:

"What I came in time to believe is that the great shortcoming of this White House, the great thing it is missing, is simple wisdom. Just wisdom--a sense that they did not invent history, that this moment is not all there is, that man has lived a long time and there are things that are true of him, that maturity is not the same thing as cowardice, that personal loyalty is not a good enough reason to put anyone in charge of anything, that the way it works in politics is a friend becomes a loyalist becomes a hack, and actually at this point in history we don't need hacks."

Well then - welcome to the America that George Hath Made, Peggy.

You can watch Fred Thomspson's pre-campaign speech here at C-SPAN's Road to the White House.

For a news round-up of CNN's debate for Democrat candidates last night, go here.

--P.S. The phrase "Hunt for Fred November" was sported on buttons at the Virginia event for Thompson.