America Grills Iranian President

Reason's Managing Editor Jesse Walker:


"When Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University yesterday, he did not emerge with the "propaganda victory" that the neocon pundit Bill Kristol assured us he would receive. He didn't seem to be having fun either. Instead, he had to listen while Columbia President Lee Bollinger lambasted him for the terrible state of civil liberties in Iran: the executions, the political prisoners, the persecution of homosexuals. Bollinger also questioned Iran's foreign policy—sometimes skating past the province of the proven, but never beyond the realm of legitimate inquiries—and he challenged the Iranian for suggesting the Holocaust is a "myth." Agence France-Presse called the introduction "a humiliating and public dressing down."

And then, after presenting his point of view, Ahmadinejad faced frequently hostile questions from the audience. Immediately before the Columbia speech, he had spoken via satellite to the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., where he also had to answer audience questions. Before that he appeared on 60 Minutes, where he had faced still more questions. For a few days in September, the president of a repressive religious regime actually had to engage his critics.

No wonder the hawks were up in arms. For months Kristol and company have been telling us that engaging Iran is a dreadful, futile mistake. When they complained about Columbia's decision to let that country's president speak on campus, they were simply continuing this crippling inability to distinguish conversation from surrender. Maybe they were genuinely afraid that this would be a PR triumph for Ahmadinejad, and maybe they just didn't like the idea of a pause for reflection as they steamroll us to war. Either way, they were wrong."

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"But free speech is at issue, because this tempest gets to the heart of a key argument for the open marketplace of ideas: the idea that hearing what other people have to say and confronting their ideas is good, and that doing so makes us not weaker but stronger. "This event has nothing whatsoever to do with any rights of the speaker," Bollinger said as he introduced his guest, "but only with our rights to listen and speak. We do it for ourselves."

That is why the petty tyrant who spoke at Columbia emerged bruised instead of beaming. Because the people who posed questions were free to ask those questions, and because they were free to hear his answers. They had an enormous opportunity, and they made the most of it. Only a coward would see such an opening and fear catastrophe."

Read the entire column here.

Living On Venezeula Time; or Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?

Time itself is being altered in the South American country of Venezeula, or as it's president, Hugo Chavez has renamed the nation, Bolivarian Republic of Venezeula. Or it will be altered, probably in January, since a plan to re-set the clocks there by half an hour this past Monday was a bust.

"Even Chavez had seemed unprepared. When he first made the announcement, he told Venezuelans to move their clocks forward, when really the measure requires them to be turned back.

In delaying the shift, Chavez said on Sunday that Venezuela still had to complete the necessary bureaucratic steps with international organizations.

Chavez has dismissed criticism that moving the time only a half hour was quirky, questioning why the world had to follow a scheme of hourly divisions that he said was dictated by the imperial United States."

Other nations have also decided on their own to alter time settings, which I suppose is simply a minor deal in most minds. Although I thought the hourly division of time was a world-wide norm, and learned it is not, as Tibet is on a 15-minute time difference from GMT.

But GMT - Greenwich Mean Time - is really not the standard time-keeper it used to be. Since 1961, the standard is really based on UTC, which stands for Coordinated Universal Time, and which some debate occured as to whether we should call it UTC, CUT, or TUC, which is French for Temps Universel Coordone. At least, that is the history of our changing time according to WikiPedia, which may have a Liberal bias according to ConservaPedia.

And even the creation of GMT was a formalization of time made in 1884 since the vast majority of navigation maps used Greenwich as the Prime Meridian in 1884. UTC is based on atomic time standards and the apparent rotation of the planet.

Which means that time, really, is whatever we decide it is, depending on the beliefs and/or needs of earthly inhabitants at any particular moment. Which means I am never ever going to accept blame again about not being on time, as I can claim atomic alterations in leap seconds. At least, I think I can claim that. Or perhaps I can claim an adherence to GMT is not as accurate as UTC, or as they write on that nefarious WikiPedia:

"Noon Greenwich Mean Time is not necessarily the moment when the Sun crosses the Greenwich meridian (and reaches its highest point in the sky in Greenwich) because of Earth's uneven speed in its elliptic orbit and its axial tilt. This event may be up to 16 minutes away from noon GMT (this discrepancy is known as the equation of time). The fictitious mean sun is the annual average of this nonuniform motion of the true Sun, necessitating the inclusion of mean in Greenwich Mean Time.

Historically the term GMT has been used with two different conventions for numbering hours. The old astronomical convention (before 1925) was to refer to noon as zero hours, whereas the civil convention during the same period was to refer to midnight as zero hours. The latter is modern astronomical and civil convention. The more specific terms UT and UTC do not share this ambiguity, always referring to midnight as zero hours."

The headache which I induced by trying to puzzle out just what time it might be at any particular point has lasted, though I am reluctant to say it, for some time.

Some say time is a dimension all unto itself outside the observable three dimensions (thanks, Einstein), and some say time is simply an imaginary construct.. And isn't The Fifth Dimension a band from the Sixties???

And all of the above brought another thought to my admittedly confused mind: If humans scattered across the earth cannot agree to what time is might be, will we ever agree on anything at all?

And if somehow a planet-wide single acceptance of what time truly is takes place, will all other debatable topics be rendered into uniform acceptance too? Judging by human history, I say no. We seem prone to debate on any topic imaginable. More likely, all my ponderings are mere indicators that I scored poorly in math and geometry classes and scored better in philosophy classes.

And now my headache is worse and I should just go be quiet for a time.

Or should I say if you have read this far, I am sorry I took up your time??

GOP Leaders Build Private Paradise?

A host of Tennessee lawmakers are being very quiet about the revelation that $900,000 from a specialty license plate has gone to buy land and build a two-story hunting lodge in Cumberland County, all owned by a 'foundation" owned by the plate's creator, Republican H.E. Bittle. Those involved in creating the legislation include current Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey, 1st District Congressman David Davis and current Sullivan County Mayor Steve Godsey.

The Knoxville News-Sentinel says the Attorney General is investigating the case. Questions began to arise once some basic facts were reported:

"In letters to Comptroller John Morgan and Attorney General Robert Cooper, Rep. Gary Odom, D-Nashville, cited a story in Sunday’s News Sentinel about the Sportsmen’s Wildlife Foundation, which is led by former Rep. H.E. Bittle, a Republican from Knox County.

In 1999, Bittle was the prime House sponsor of a bill that created the Sportsman specialty license plate and directed revenue from that plate to the Sportsmen’s Wildlife Foundation.

In state records, Bittle is listed as the founder of that organization, and he has used money from the license plate to pay for property in Cumberland County and build a hunting lodge.

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"Bittle said the idea is to provide a place where children who take an online hunter-safety course can fulfill the program’s field-day obligation. He also said the property could be used as a camp for disabled children and that he would like to invite hunter-safety instructors to bring children from their classes to the lodge for longer visits.

Odom was a co-sponsor of the bill in 1999, but he said this week that he wasn’t aware Bittle was running the foundation or that the money would be used to buy property and build a lodge."

Notice how Bittle says the property "could" be used. Do policies exist stating what the property and lodge WILL be used for? If you bought one of these specialty plates, can you use the property or lodge?

An editorial from Tri-Cities.com calls the actions 'shameless' and 'self-serving':

"While Bittle was chief House sponsor of this shamelessly self-serving piece of legislation, he had help from other lawmakers. Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey, R-Blountville, carried the bill in the Senate. Other notable local co-sponsors of the House bill included state Rep. Jason Mumpower, R-Bristol; former state representative and current Sullivan County Mayor Steve Godsey, R-Bristol; and former state representative and now U.S. Rep. David Davis, R-Johnson City. They, too, must answer for their role in this sham.

Bittle has spent the past few days rationalizing his behavior. He believes he did nothing wrong.

A Ramsey spokesman offered somewhat conditional support for Bittle – saying the use of the money is proper if the lodge "is within the confines of the legislation." Davis, Mumpower and Godsey have been strangely silent.

The Bittle affair points to a flaw in the system. Neither the state Department of Finance nor the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency has oversight of the money generated by the sportsman license plate program. But someone should be watching to make sure the money goes for the purpose outlined in the law. This is a significant omission."

Vague legal definitions in the law, and in legislation, at best serve only to raise the prospect of unethical behavior.

UPDATE: Volunteer Voters has a post and several comments on this topic today.

Dangerous Clothes

Play-Doh, wires, and a peg board - that was enough to send security staff at Logan Airport into a paranoid state of hyper fear, fingers twitching on their triggers. A female M.I.T. student, who had been wearing the wires and peg board zip-tied to her sweatshirt, is labeled a bomb hoax threat terrorist. Maybe it was just a bad week to have the last name of Simpson.

"She's extremely lucky she followed the instructions or deadly force would have been used. And she's lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue."

I would have imagined security staff at Logan, of all places, would be trained to observe and recognize what a bomb would look like. Especially as Logan is on a high threat level status. Wonder what would happen if someone was seen wearing those sneakers that have teeny lights in the heels of their shoes? I think an indication of how much this case was overblown can be found in the judge's decision to put Simpson's bail at $750. I would expect the entire case to be dropped.

It's true that funky fashions are often seen as a threat, just ask someone who wears their pants hanging half off their ass. Some say these pants threaten society and laws are being passed to ban low-slung baggy apparel. Will you feel safe if that happens?

"And let's spend a lot of taxpayer money to enact the laws and enforce them. That'll show these teenagers who wears the pants."

Will you be able to wear your "Don't Tase Me, Bro!" t-shirt without being seen as a threat? Could you freely wear a shirt that had lettering reading "This Shirt Is Illegal"?

Did it all go downhill straight to the hottest part of hell when the days of Statutes of Apparel disappeared?

"The English Sumptuary Laws were well known by all of the English people. And they were strictly obeyed! The penalties for violating Sumptuary Laws could be harsh - fines, the loss of property, title and even life."

See also the laws for men's clothes.

Camera Obscura: Luckless Chuck; History of Bava; Japanese Guitar Gods

Want to know about the romantic comedy "Good Luck Chuck" with Dane Cook and Jessica Alba? You have my sympathy if it is on your list of movies you have to see. Here's just one sample of what movie critics have to say:

"[It] is so ham-fisted and blunt that you feel like you're being beaten about the head with clubs made out of artificial breasts, sexism, gross-out humor and Dane Cook's naked body. Another friend, after I dismissed Good Luck Chuck as unfunny trash, said "It'll probably be the top of the box office, then" and offered that I was "an elitist." Well, to paraphrase David Rees, if 'elitist' means 'not the dumbest person in the room,' then hell, yes, I'm an elitist. And Good Luck Chuck may make money; so does cocaine, but I don't feel like that alone is a reason to endorse either product."

Ouch!!

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Weighing in a 12 (count 'em) 12 pounds, the new book "Mario Bava, All the Colors of the Dark" by Tim Lucas is beyond exhaustive and comprehensive. Bava's work, many times uncredited, was vastly influential on every genre of film made in Italy (and America) during the 20th Century.

from Planet of the Vampires

Bava made some true gems in the fantasy/sci-fi/horror genres which have always been among my personal favorites - like Planet of the Vampires, and Black Sunday, featuring the incomparable Barbara Steele, and "Danger: Diabolik!", which is so super groovy it makes Bond and Flint look like total squares, baby, yeah.!

Lucas is also the creator of Video WatchBlog, and he currently has several deeply detailed posts about some of Bava's last few movies and tons of photos. There's also a post on this week's 90th birthday of schlock cinema scribe Ib Melchior, who worked with Bava and many others. His movie "Robinson Crusoe on Mars" is merely one of the minor classics he created.

Bava used simple techniques and vivid scenes which were the inspiration for dozens of American filmmakers, from Scorsese to Tarantino to Dante and many of the slasher movies still around today. Though often given cheesy dubbing, his movies were eye-popping and always very entertaining.

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I've been waiting a long, long time for the movie "From Beyond" to land on DVD and it has arrived in a great un-rated version which makes it a Must Have (for me, at least.) Director Stuart Gordon's Lovecraft-inspired tale brings back Jeffery Combs and Barbara Crampton from "Re-Animator" for a grisly and funny romp. When the movie includes scenes of folks biting off someone's extruding pineal gland, well ... 'nuff said.

Extras include a full-length commentary by Gordon, Combs and Crampton that's as much fun as the movie itself. Who knew 20 some years ago that Scream Queen Crampton would be a soap-opera star?

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And a bit of music for this fine Friday. When the American band The Ventures toured Japan in the summer of 1965, they set off a massive cult following in the country and a movement called the Eleki Scene. Many guitarists took to the fuzzy, grungy sound, such as Takeshi Terauchi, and the folks at WFMU's Beware of the Blog has a collection MP3s of his recordings which you can (and should) listen to.

Recently, a cover band called The M-Ventures re-recreated that Tokyo concert by The Ventures, and a collection of their MP3s is here. All of which leads to today's obligatory YouTube presentation. They wail on a version of "Surf Rider":

When The State Breaks The Law

It is beyond depressing to see how Americans are steadily agreeing to abandon our Liberty and our Law to accommodate the wishes and policies of our own government. I was reading a post from No Silence Here this morning about how the TN Dept. of Environment and Conservation was breaking the law by recording conversations without telling those being taped.

It is illegal in Tennessee to tape someone without telling them you are doing so. Period, The End. (Please refer to the NOTE at the end of this post for the pertinent laws. Seems to me permission is required, but perhaps other arguments could also be made, depending on how a court might define 'reasonable expectation.')

And once this story was presented by a WSMV reporter, the TDEC issued 'new guidelines' to stop their illegal act. 'New guidelines', yeesh. So does that mean if you are arrested for stealing or for assault, all you need tell the investigating officers that you have adopted a 'new guideline' and will no longer do such a thing? They would simply say OK and you have a nice day?

Check out the following from the WSMV report:

"Is it good government to record the public without their knowledge?” [reporter Demetria] Kalodimos said.

“Well, our department is a regulatory agency and part of our charge is to enforce the law. So, I would say that, you know, in the exercise of carrying out our duties, that it is good government to do that. I see it as much ado about nothing,” said TDEC attorney Joe Sanders.

After Channel 4 started asking questions TDEC made a change.

Deputy Commissioner Paul Sloan issued a statement on Wednesday that said: “Because the issue has been raised, our department is committed to ensuring that as a matter of policy, we will disclose routine recording of conversations between members of our department and the public.”

Notice how the official says "since the issue has been raised". If the reports of their illegal taping had not been made public, then the illegal taping would continue. After all, it was routine, it was convenient, it made the agency's job easier to break the law. Their attorney views breaking the law as 'much ado about nothing.'

Again, what happens when you offer that defense if accused of breaking the law?

A comment on Mike Silence's post about the illegal taping is even more disturbing to me:

"Who cares if they records or listen to our conversations. . . I don't do anything illegal.

There is a bigger picture here. . . Finding illegal immigrants, illegal activities, illegal abuses (to woman and children), TERROR PLOTS, etc. . . If you look at the big picture and you are not conducting yourself in an inappropriate manner then you should not care of your conversation. The important issue is how it affects others and our country."

This mantra of 'only the guilty have anything to hide' has been often repeated in recent years, which is deeply deceptive and astonishingly cowardly, in my opinion. Abandoning your rights and liberties is necessary to achieve ... what? Obedience? Blind allegiance? A lack of concern for anyone except yourself?

Perhaps this view that the state is always innocent is one that has grown from Washington as states and their agencies mimic the philosophy that government is above the law. The ongoing debate to make permanent a law to provide warrantless wiretaps and surveillance seems to lack any sense of how the law is meant to function. The reason Congress is being pushed to adopt the law is that existing law has been violated:

"But we don't actually live in a country where private actors are permitted to commit crimes and violate laws provided that the President tells them that they should. The President has no greater power to authorize others to break the law than he does to break the law himself. Quite the contrary, Article II of the Constitution imposes the opposite obligation: "he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed." Lawbreaking is still illegal even if George Bush says it should be done. Does that principle really need to be explained?"

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"A Congressional grant of immunity for past lawbreaking would amount to a bipartisan endorsement of Bush's illegal eavesdropping program. To remove consequences for illegal behavior is, by definition, to approve of that behavior. Laws with no consequences for violations are meaningless. And those who seek to shield lawbreakers from accountability are endorsing the lawbreaking."

Are we, as a nation, so eager to gain even the most illusionary moment of perfect safety from the unknown potential of possible attack, that we willingly surrender our basic fundamental structure of Law and Liberty?

For some time now, we have been casually accepting a fatal premise - that the state and the corporation have rights which trump those of the individual. "You're already being watched and tracked pretty much everywhere you go and whatever you do," I am told by usually very smart and informed people. To believe that is to believe you have no rights and no hope for rights, or privacy or self-determination. It is one of the most cynical ideas ever to be embraced by America.


NOTE: Here are the most applicable laws regarding audio and videotaping without consent which I could locate:

Tenn. Code Ann. § 39-13-601: A person who is a party to a wire, oral or electronic communication, or who has obtained the consent of at least one party, can lawfully record a communication and divulge the contents of the recorded communication unless he has a criminal or tortious purpose for doing so. Violations are punishable as felonies with jail sentences of between two and 12 years and fines not exceeding $5,000. Tenn. Code Ann. §§ 39-13-602, 40-35-111.

Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of "oral communication," Tenn. Code Ann. § 40-6-303.

Anyone whose communications have been unlawfully intercepted can sue to recover the greater of actual damages, $100 per day of violation or $10,000, along with punitive damages, attorney fees and litigation costs. Tenn. Code Ann. § 39-13-603.

Recording or disseminating a communication carried out through a cellular or cordless telephone, or disseminating the contents with knowledge of their illegal origin, without the consent of at least one party, can be punished as a felony with a potential prison sentence of between one and six years and a fine not to exceed $3,000. Tenn. Code Ann. §§ 39-13-604, 40-35-111.

It is a misdemeanor to photograph, film or observe a person without consent where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy, when the photographing, filming or viewing "would offend or embarrass an ordinary person" and is done for sexual purposes. Tenn. Code Ann. §§ 39-13-605, 39-13-607. Dissemination of a photograph or videotape taken in violation of these provisions is a felony. Tenn. Code Ann. § 39-13-605(2).

And the 'Always Sunny in Philly' Winner Is ....

A panel of distinguished judges at Cup of Joe Powell (which is really just me) has selected a winner of a brand-spankin' new T-Shirt from the TV show "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia."

The winner's name is Anonymous, who supplied an email address out of Alabama, and they/he/she have been notified via email. And be sure to read about the third season of the show on FX here.

Thanks to all who sent entries in to win, and keep reading to find out what nifty Hollywood prizes will be offered next.

The 'Don't Tase Me Bro' Roundup

Until today I had no idea the word Taser is an acronym for a book title from around 1911 in the children's book series about one Tom Swift. "Tom Swift and the Electric Rifle, or Daring Adventures on Elephant Island" is the origin of the stun gun's name.

There are plenty of chances to see campus police use a Taser on an unruly student during a Sen. John Kerry rally, but I am not putting the video here. It's being shown plenty on TV news (it's the story not about O.J. Simpson). NOTE: A very thorough look at the events, plus how Sen. Kerry responded to the event is here at Facing South.

So how about a mini-round-up of Taser-related stories and blogs?

Say Uncle shares his view of the student-hit-by-taser story.

No Silence Here has more on the event and links to "Don't Tase Me, Bro!" t-shirts.

There are reports today as well of a wheelchair-bound woman who died after she was shot 10 times with a Taser during a confrontation with police.

And a story of an autistic boy who was Tasered by police.

You can also get your own Pink Taser to carry with you.

This year's Taser International Convention featured some new products, including the wireless eXtended Range Electronic Projectile (XREP), a strategic alliance with iRobot, and the new Shockwave™ T-RAD (TASER Area Denial System). Pictures and product descriptions are here.

The company has also announced the United States Forest Service will soon be packing Tasers.

Photo above from Taser International:

The TASER XREP (eXtended Range Elecronic Projectile) is a wireless projectile that fires from a 12-gauge shotgun. It delivers the same neuro-muscular incapacitation (NMI) as our handheld TASER X26, but can be delivered to a distance of up to 100 feet. The XREP combines blunt impact with the field proven TASER Neuro Muscular Incapacitation that renders a violent offender virtually incapable of moving or harming others

This Just In: Goat Eludes Attempted Tasering.

Tasers, by the way, are not the same as Lasers. But a comparison is entertaining:

Sharks and lasers.

Laser Cats.

And there are Phasers and then there are some other Phasers too.

Talk Like A Pirate Day Returns!

Mindless seas, ho!!

'Tis time me mateys to hoist yer banners and flags fer true, and make yer mark fer Talk Like A Pirate Day.

What does a pirate call a lass with much beauty? Aye Candy!!

Read Treasure Island fer free!

Become a Pirate and play a treasure hunt game! More games are at that link, too, aye and booty and sword crossed danger and cannons belching fire and iron, too matey. While away yer workin' days with all the games.

Grab hold of yer inner pirate and explore the site about Pirate Re-Enactors made by Pirate Re-Enactors!

And here's every blessed and cursed detail of the pirate life, from making knots and all jobs aboard a ship to healthcare fer pirates, all true history, as true as truth might be.

Get yerself an Arrrrrrrr-C Cola and mix it with rum and celebrate the day. Check out Newscoma's Piratey Post o' The Day too!

My pirate name is:

Iron Jack Kidd

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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I Touched An iPod

For the first time in my life, I touched, held and sort of semi-operated an iPod yesterday. And yes, I know that to confess I do not own a personal music and video storage and playback device makes me non-relevant in today's modern-now-a-go-go world. I am fully aware to confess my techno-failings may well conjure the image of me as a caveman hurling mono-syllabic grunts and rocks at the hand-held monolith which offers wisdom to humanity.

How did my clumsy, over-knuckled hands even attempt to operate the device?

Here's how it happened: as I have already mentioned, I am assisting with the production of a children's theater production of "Jungle Book Kids". And so, as part of yesterday's rehearsal it was my job to cue up the appropriate tunes and play them, sometimes pausing them or re-setting the device to play the tune again. Luckily, despite my lack of pod-knowledge, no adults or children were harmed.

I admit the device is a marvel of hand-held tech. I cannot swear to it's actual model, but after some web research, I think it was an iPod Classic (not a NanoPod or some off-brand MP3 dealie). Sleek and black and sliver-backed with the Apple trademark, I was given a quick lesson on how to use it, and that only a touch is needed to guide the device. I like that - no antiquated knobs or buttons to twirl and mash.

I thought what I might do with such a device should I own one. I could load every CD I own into the device and barely use a teeny section of memory, though just how I would actually transfer the music is still a mystery to me other than using some cable to connect the pertinent devices. I gather the iPod is smart enough to know what to do with the songs I might place in them.

Buying or adding music a song a time is still an oddity to me. For instance, I was just reading last night about an album which came out in 1967 called Forever Changes by a band called Love which I had never really heard of before. I found some samples of the tunes to listen to online, noted I could buy them one at a time. But the original album has some nice trippy artwork and I tend to prefer musicians who compose and create an album which is meant to be listened to in the order it was made. So I realize I'm still catching up on 1967 and that was 40 years ago so I'm really behind.

Being hip to the moment has never actually been a goal for me. I stumble across music and tech and news and trends which may be ancient or brand-spankin' new all the time. I follow my curiosity to places and music and things, regardless of whether it's in fashion or obscure or even just a relic of the past.

And I do know I have no interest in peering into a teeny screen the size of a Cheez-it to watch some video or a movie. I like the big screens, I miss 70mm Cinerama images, which again marks me as some ancient artifact.

Touching the li'l pod-thing made me reflect on those days when I first left home and went into college, carting with me a delicately packed box containing a carefully calibrated turntable, and the necessary tuner to power the turntable, likewise packed into it's own box. And then there were the huge speakers and coils of wire needed to provide sound. And then boxes and crates of albums to play on my musical apparatus. I had more sound equipment than clothes to cart around. Still, no matter when or where I moved, those boxes all came first and foremost.

Now I am down to maybe three boxes of albums, which collect dust in the basement, the turntable has not worked in years, nor the tuner, and still I move them from place to place. The years of collecting and buying all that would now be fast-tracked to online downloads and take up the room of a sandwich in my hand. That's most cool, I admit.

Still, I am an ancient thing in the world, which measures time in nanoseconds. I would rather spend the money for an iPod on something else - computer software, maybe a nifty hi-def TV, or maybe some new tires for my truck. The truck has a cassette player which has not worked in a few years, but there are still a few radio stations worth tuning in which have more than the Talk Show Hate of the Day to offer.

So I use the tech I have, portable CD players or radios. I prowl on the computerized info-net-superhighway-cyberized nation, learning of things new and old, taking what I want and leaving the rest for some later day or for someone else to master.

At least I am not yelling for kids to "Stay Offa My Lawn!!" Not yet anyway.

Constitution Week 2007

This week has been designated Constitution Week, meant to encourage the reading of the document and to enhance understanding of this simple yet complex statement of the foundations of our government. Intense debate marked it's creation and many opposed various elements as it moved toward it's final ratification, as our government formally adopted it in 1789.

Historically, we mark the date of Sept. 17, 1787 as the day the document was completed.

The National Archives has a fascinating section of questions regarding the document and it's creation, which I have been perusing some this week. I noted for the first time that some 19 citizens selected to attend the Constitutional Convention never bothered to show up at all. Most of those at the Convention were lawyers, but not all. I have read and re-read the document for years and years, and still I learn from it, and I think each of us can if we bother to exert our brains and consider the words and the declarations within it. (Read the document here.)

Of all the questions posed at the NA site, I liked this one best:

"Q. Does not the Constitution give us our rights and liberties?

A. No, it does not, it only guarantees them. The people had all their rights and liberties before they made the Constitution. The Constitution was formed, among other purposes, to make the people's liberties secure-- secure not only as against foreign attack but against oppression by their own government. They set specific limits upon their national government and upon the States, and reserved to themselves all powers that they did not grant. The Ninth Amendment declares: "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."

It's most important to know that each of us already have rights, liberties, freedoms which exist not because of a document or a government, but simply because we exist. The government and it's foundation are simply tools to secure and protect what we already have.

Part of the promotion of awareness of The Constitution this year is a project called "I Signed The Constitution", as copies of the document travel the country. In Greeneville at the Andrew Johnson National Historic Site Visitors Center, visitors can view and sign the document. While I appreciate the intent of encouraging citizens to affirm the tenets of the document, I rather wish we were instead promoting "Read The Constitution and Know What You Are Signing."

I also think it would be a fascinating experiment to ask those who go view it to come up with one amendment of their own to add. What additions would we make? Something insightful, something selfish, something which could never have been imagined in 1787?

For example, I have long thought it would be appropriate to require that members of Congress should live in a dormitory-style setting. Two to a room, very sparse accommodations, like bunk beds, common rooms, a TV room, a laundry room, and a cafeteria with a limited budget, no chefs and no maid services. No visitors in the rooms, no lobbyists or media allowed in the dorms, curfews, and no outside residence would be allowed. They work, they come back to the dorm, and when the congressional session is ended, they go home. Payment for the dorm's operations would come from the pay of each member, a percentage of what they earn. Likewise, congressional staff would have their own dorms as well.

And maybe when the return to Washington, time would be provided for dorm residents to present an oral report on What I Did During Recess To Learn About My Home District.

What might you add to the Constitution?

I Read The News Today, Oh Boy ...

Blackwater, one of the private security firms in Iraq funded by hundreds of millions of tax dollars which provides armed military-style support for US forces and businesses, has had it's license revoked according to Iraqi officials. Confusion surrounds what this may mean, confusion surrounds what happened as they were escorting a convoy of US State Department vehicles, and secrecy surrounds the contract they (and hundreds of others) have with the US government. The Guardian has more on the dispute.

This follows a report from the Washington Post that the US military is in urgent need of help to provide support services to soldiers as more and more soldiers are being placed into combat patrols.

"With the increased insurgent activity, unit supply personnel must continue to pull force protection along with convoy escort and patrol duties," according to a statement of work that accompanied the Sept. 7 request for bidders from Multi-National Force-Iraq."

Oh boy ...Each time the current White House leaders announce their strategy in Iraq is working, we learn that much of that strategy is in the hands of secret government contracts or that we regular folks just don't understand the strategy. An accurate account of how many contracted soldiers are operating in Iraq remains unknown, and the same lack of accounting is in place for their activities, their casualties, their wounded. While they are there in the name of the US, residents of the US know little of what they do.

"Many Americans are under the impression that the US currently has about 145,000 active duty troops on the ground in Iraq. What is seldom mentioned is the fact that there are at least 126,000 private personnel deployed alongside the official armed forces. These private forces effectively double the size of the occupation force, largely without the knowledge of the US taxpayers that foot the bill."

More on this information, supplied to Congress in May, is here.

Last week's publicity push for the "success" in Iraq continues to be a muddle of information, or as Fred Kaplan wrote in Slate:

"President Bush's TV address tonight was the worst speech he's ever given on the war in Iraq, and that's saying a lot. Every premise, every proposal, nearly every substantive point was sheer fiction. The only question is whether he was being deceptive or delusional."

Oh boy .... If I just stop reading the news, maybe it wont' matter.

Opinions are hardly a measure of reality, still it's worth noting, as Steve Chapman does:

"By March 2006, 60 percent of Americans said the war was going poorly. Yet all Petraeus claims to have done is lower the carnage to the level it was then—a level most people found unacceptable. If this is progress, then treading water should be an Olympic event.

Likewise, his plan to withdraw 30,000 troops by next summer would merely mean reverting to the number we had before the surge. Assuming he's right, we'll have spent a year and a half making an arduous journey from Point A to Point A."

Oh boy ... If I just stop reading news, opinions, accounts of debauched/depressed elected officials and celebrities, national and international banking woes, details of items sold in the US which might kill me or deform children, who's being abducted, who's been found, if I just turn off all the radios and TVs and this internet, and just sit quietly with all the doors locked and the shades drawn down tightly ... then maybe I can pretend all is well and just getting better all the time. I'll be a model citizen!

Lunar Mission Underway

I've seen nothing in the major media of Japan's successful launch Friday of it's lunar orbiter so some information on what's happening. The mission, steeped in scientific experiments is just the first of several planned from Asian nations, including China and India, which has set a lunar launches by the end of 2008. The U.S. also has unmanned orbiters set to launch by then as well.

The Japanese SELENE mission has many ambitions and details are offered at Spaceflight Now:

"Two daughter satellites stowed aboard SELENE for the trip to the moon will be deployed at different points during the orbital maneuvers. One of the small satellites will be released in an orbit with an apolune of about 1,500 miles, while the other will separate at a lower orbital altitude of approximately 500 miles.

Called RSAT and VRAD, the eight-sided 110-pound satellites will work in tandem with the SELENE orbiter to probe the weak gravity field on the moon's far side for the first time. The small craft will also help study the lunar ionosphere by observing radio interference.

Officials expect SELENE to arrive in its operational orbit about 40 days after launch. A comprehensive two-month checkout of the mission's 15 science payloads is planned before the orbiter begins its observation campaign."

Meanwhile, it was announced Friday that Google is adding millions to a contest for lunar exploration, the Google Lunar X Prize:

"The prize for reaching the moon and completing the basic tasks of roving and sending video and data will bring the winner $20 million, according to the contest rules. An additional $5 million would be awarded for other tasks that include roving more than 5,500 yards or sending back images of artifacts like lunar landers from the Apollo program."

Camera Obscura - Death Proof Arrives; Return of MSTK3

The DVD market is always offering variations on movies and television unlike ever before. Expanded, revised, re-cut and usually without ratings, movies have a freedom not seen since the MPAA ratings board was created in the late 1960s.

Next Tuesday will bring Quentin Tarantino's portion of this year's "Grindhouse" double-bill of B-movie fun, titled "Death Proof." What you won't see on the DVD are any of the fake previews which were part of the theatrical release between "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof."

What you will get though, is the full-length version of the movie, which some viewers did not like, and some did. I did, no doubts there. Especially when Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), who has been killing off innocent victims with his car, gets the car chase game played on him by a group of Stunt-Women who are filming in Lebanon, TN when Mike arrives to frighten them.

Another extra treat on the DVD is a featurette of Tarantino's longtime collaborator, film editor Sally Menke. As his movies jump through time so often, her work is worthy of much consideration, as she keeps the narrative focused in all of his movies.

Scenes never shown in the theatrical release get their day on this release, and I am most eager to see it for some other reasons too: so much of the film was dialog, and I want to slow the pace down and explore it. While many of his movies have very strong female leads, there was much discussion among the characters about relationships and sexuality, and I'm curious to review that script.

Another featurette on the disc will provide more details on stunt woman Zoe Bell, whose terrifying ride on a car hood in "Death Proof" was just stunning.

While I think folks who did not see the original double-bill release missed a great old-fashioned drive-in event, I have no problems with the two movies being split up for DVD release. I liked them both very much and will be happy to own them both.

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If you miss the once-regular TV presence of Mystery Science Theater 3000, new hope has arrived on DVD.

Now calling themselves The Film Crew, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett are back skewering bad movies from the sidelines as you watch with the release of their direct-to-DVD release called "The Film Crew: Wild Women of Wongo."

And I'm not alone in my appreciation of the guys as they rip into a very, very awful movie "Wild Women of Wongo."

"Since "Wild Women Of Wongo" is filled with the worst line deliveries ever uttered, blue haired people, and a yappy parrot who is everywhere at once, the Film Crew has no problem ripping into this trashy semi-S&M-ish movie. One of the benefits of these DVDs is that Mike, Bill, and Kevin can be a bit more R-rated. No, they don't simply spout profanities. They do, however, make clever sexual innuendos that are often times the most memorable bits. In addition, the crew does a great job of pointing out how the characters in the film resemble the likes of Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons," Bam-Bam from the Flintstones," and Cher."

Certainly worth a rental if you can find one, and as I understand it, more releases from The Film Crew are ahead.

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Writer Cormac McCarthy is getting several big screen adaptations of his work, with the upcoming "No Country For Old Men" by the Coen brothers, and Ridley Scott has "Blood Meridian" set for 2009. Word comes this week that McCarthy's "The Road" is in the pipeline and actor ViggoMortensen may be getting the lead. More details here.

'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' Contest

This week the unusual sit-com "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" started it's third season on FX and the PR group for the show has a freebie for readers here -- a bright green t-shirt which advertises the fictional pub the show's stars own and work for.

If you'd like to get the shirt - one large-sized T-shirt is available- just leave your name and email in the comments and I'll pick the winner next Thursday.

Unaware of this show? Hold on, because this ain't yer daddy's TV show.

It takes a distinct approach to the sit-com: very edgy comedy which is shot with a single camera, and the characters, played by the show's creator and writers, Rob McElhaney, Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, are brothers who run Paddy's Irish Pub. Other cast regulars include Danny DeVito and Katlin Olsen.

The first episode this season indicates what viewers can expect from these whacked-out brothers and their friends - the episode title says it all: "The Gang Find A Dumpster Baby." And no, they don't strive to find the infant a home or give it aid. Nope. Their first thought is how to make money with it.

In previous seasons, the gang went to an abortion rally to pick up dates. So there's no cutesy 20-somethings living in million-dollar apartments and struggling with love and romance. This show plays out more like "South Park" or "Family Guy" done live action.

Audiences are given some unlikable heroes here, and part of the fun is in their shocking lack of normalcy and in how they react to the consequences they create. You won't see this kind of show on network TV, it's too much of a gamble, too risky for prime time. However, despite what you might think of the premise, the show can sure drawn down some huge laughs.

Strikingly original, daring, sometimes bone-dumb and dangerous, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" will have many fans. Seasons One and Two are now available on DVD and the show's new episodes air on Thursdays on FX at 10 PM.

You can also check out the show's MySpace page for more on this twisted sit-com.

And for the free shirt, just add your name and email in the comments on this post.

Disaster Capitalism and the Security-Industrial Complex

In the last few days I've discovered a new set of concepts and wordings designed to describe the modern world, and none of them are very comforting. Even considering them with the appropriate doubts of the intents of their creators and promoters, it still appears rather distressing and depressing. The populist banner cries of Freedom, Democracy and Liberty stand like antiquated oddities before them.

So let me share some of the things I've read with you and you tell me if they are valid or vapid or portents of a 21st century in which an individual is the Most Endangered Species.

First I read an excerpt from a new book, by author Naomi Klein, called "The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism." Klein is a most vocal journalist and activist who has been in the forefront of opposition to the tenets of globalization. The Guardian presented this excerpt, which you can read for yourself. Here are some quotes:

"For weeks after the attacks, the president went on a grand tour of the public sector - state schools, firehouses and memorials, the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention - embracing and thanking civil servants for their contributions and humble patriotism. He praised not only emergency services personnel but teachers, postal employees and healthcare workers. At these events, he treated work done in the public interest with a level of respect and dignity that had not been seen in the US in four decades. Cost-cutting was suddenly off the agenda, and in every speech the president gave, he announced some ambitious new public programme.

But far from shaking their determination to weaken the public sphere, the security failures of 9/11 reaffirmed in Bush and his inner circle their deepest ideological (and self-interested) beliefs - that only private firms possessed the intelligence and innovation to meet the new security challenge. Although it was true that the White House was on the verge of spending huge amounts of taxpayer money to launch a new deal, it would be exclusively with corporate America, a straight-up transfer of hundreds of billions of public dollars a year into private hands. The deal would take the form of contracts, many offered secretively, with no competition and scarcely any oversight, to a sprawling network of industries: technology, media, communications, incarceration, engineering, education, healthcare.

What happened in the period of mass disorientation after the attacks was, in retrospect, a domestic form of economic shock therapy."

SNIP

"Through all its various name changes - the war on terror, the war on radical Islam, the war against Islamofascism, the third world war, the long war, the generational war - the basic shape of the conflict has remained unchanged. It is limited by neither time nor space nor target. From a military perspective, these sprawling and amorphous traits make the war on terror an unwinnable proposition. But from an economic perspective, they make it an unbeatable one: not a flash-in-the-pan war that could potentially be won but a new and permanent fixture in the global economic architecture."

I know, as do most cognizant citizens, how much value and 'new meanings' which key words and phrases now in place to frame many, if not all debate, on the topic of security and patriotism seem to be shielded from scrutiny.

But a 'disaster capitalism' mindset? Who could believe or endorse such an idea? How about the Wall Street Journal, which is now offering opinions to support the "Security-Industrial Complex"? Writer Heather McDonald, of the Manhattan Institute, presents an enormous amount of "ifs" and "maybes" to justify radical changes in American life.

"How do we shore up the country's equally limitless vulnerabilities? There is reason to think, however, that we may have overestimated Muslim terrorists' reach. To find out whether this is true, the next stage of the homeland security enterprise should be oriented around one overriding goal: determining the actual capacity of jihadists to strike the U.S. That means ramping up our intelligence efforts and facing down privacy zealots and civil libertarian extremists, who continue to impede those efforts at every turn."

Klein and filmmaker Alfonso Cuaron ("Children of Men") have also presented a jarring and disturbing short video to advance their discussions, which you can see at Klein's website.

As for me, these concepts are some of the most dehumanizing ideas I've encountered in some time. If it all sounds too weird, too conspiratorial to hold any truths, then simply consider that despite what you or I might think, policy-makers and 'experts' are using this language and have been for some time.

The Bush Failure Continues

Years have passed and thousands are wounded and dead and the best ideas from the Bush White House regarding Iraq is to keep on the same course? It all seems more than a bit mad.

The U.S. invasion of Iraq was made based on flat out lies, and there were little if any plans on what to do in that country past 30 or 60 days. Billions pour into the effort, billions are wasted.

After hearing just what was expected from Gen. Petraeus, even staunch GOP supporters like Senator Elizabeth Dole said:

"The difficulty of the current American and Iraqi situation is rooted in large part in the Bush administration's substantial failure to understand the full implications of our military invasion and the litany of mistakes made at the outset of the war."

Time is ripe for a reality check and for fresher, more honest minds to step forward. This war was botched from the get-go, so why trust these same folk to frame the debate?

"What if all that Bush has left us to choose from is different degrees of dishonor?

We can't leave, because the civil war will escalate, terrorists will be emboldened, and Iraq will break into hostile fiefdoms. We can't stay, because the U.S. occupation is inciting violence, discouraging political accommodation, draining our treasury, straining our armed forces, and costing the lives of American soldiers. Yet those are the only two options, and there is little reason to think they will look any better in one year or five or 10."

Also worth considering in the current debate:

"What progress have we made that will be sustained after we leave? If all we've done is tamp down the violence in some places by putting a lot of troops there, then once we leave, all that progress will be reversed. Only if there's some reason to think that the progress we've made will outlast our presence have we achieved anything. Lasting progress depends on political reconciliation, and Ambassador Crocker had precious little to offer."

In Which I Am Training Elephants

Yesterday afternoon was spent with a herd of elephants. Or at least elephants in training. Nothing political in the event (thank goodness). No this is something sort of new for me - helping to direct a musical for kids, called "Jungle Book Kids", being produced by the Morristown Theatre Guild, with performances set to begin October 7th at Rose Center.

I haven't really been a part of a musical production since I was in a musical version of "Hansel and Gretel" when I was in elementary school. The scars from that, which included wearing lederhosen, have never healed. (Oh, sure, there was a brief musical number which we created some years back for the Improv Comedy group I worked with, a country music horror tale called "Drac'ler", but that is another story.)

But I am reaching for new things and hoping to learn much, which I can always do when I work with the vastly talented Mr. Horton who is THE director for the show. With two full casts, this show is a massive project, and I most happy to have been invited to help. Singing and dancing jungle creatures (even monkeys!!) moving to some great music is going to be great fun. Professor Horton has skills beyond reckoning and his shows always entertain crowds and educate performers.

So for me, yesterday was day one, working with two groups of youngsters, who will perform as the elephant herd in this musical based on the famous Disney script and music. It must be noted that this show also requires the participation of many parents, schedules, costumers, plus music rehearsals, choreography and giant heaps of coordination. In other words, it involves many people whose talents and responsibilities far exceed mine.

In coming days, I'll share more from this venture and can, I hope, remember all the names of the key players. Most in my elephant herds were forced to correct my pronunciation of names like Mowgli and Hathi.

A constant element of productions is taking the immense journey ahead, starting with a script and a score and a host of backstage and onstage talent, and reaching the moment of live performance. I never tire of such work. although I am sure some exhaustion will occur as the rehearsals gather momentum.

In coming days, I'll try and offer some pics from this event and hope many of you will come out in October to see the show.

Forget Spears, Gimme Carla Thomas

All the ink spilled and binary digits devoted to the dismal performance of a mediocre performer, which I detailed in my previous post, brought to mind a real singer, a stellar performer, a Tennessee girl who has become a national treasure. So some selections from the iconic Carla Thomas to close out this Monday.

She cut her first record at age 17 in Memphis, and in 1961 she recorded the hit "Gee Whiz", a simple love song with tremendous power. And she still can belt it out with astonishing style and talent - as evidence, this performance from 1989 on Dave Sanborn's "Night Music" TV show.



You can also listen to an early classic penned by Isaac Hayes, "B-A-B-Y" at this link.

After 40 plus years, a remarkable singer and award-winning career. In 40 more years, her work will still stand far above and away from all memory of this current pop star.

In Praise of Britney Spears

The public lynching of a minor singer/dancer whose flesh has been mythified since adolescence by managers, producers, record companies and a leering public is underway following a performance by Britney Spears on MTV last night.

I give her credit for all but standing on stage and pronouncing how fake and non-musical Music Television has become. What I saw was a person clearly announcing she is sick of it all. Even her ex-boyfriend Timberlake begged the network last night to actually show some music videos. You can only find them on MTV spinoff networks, while the parent network airs vapid accounts of vapid people engaged in vapid behavior.

Is she biting the hand that feeds her? I'd say she was chewing off the hand, arm and shoulder with intense glee. Who could blame her?

MTV's celebs of the moment - Kanye West, 50 Cent, Fergie, all of them - blow chunks as performers, musicians, writers, and producers. Few of those garnering awards could make a note without the help of hijacked samples of other, better songs.

When karaoke singing, a la American Idol, rules the day, who needs MTV's lip-synching or the endless parade of faux-angry rappers who plaster gold and diamonds on cups and fake teeth?

So yes, yer fave MTV act sucks. No news there.

'Twas video killed the video star.

Music will be found most any place other than MTV.

NOTE: Please take in the video and another song from a real singer instead.

Bad Burger Brings Arrest; Slave Labor and Other Oddities

Let's say you order a burger at your local franchise and after a bite or two, you think "Dag! That's nasty!" Why keep eating? A policeman in an Atlanta suburb eats a bad burger, gets sick, then goes back and arrests an employee.

The strange story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

"Union City Police public information officer George Louth said Saturday that police talked to Bull and other store employees who told them Bull knew the burger "wasn't properly prepared." He said she was charged with the misdemeanor reckless conduct because she served it anyway "without regards to the well-being of anyone who might consume it."

The department is still investigating the case. Since the officer didn't eat the entire Big N' Tasty, there were samples to send to the state crime lab to find out what was in or on the burger that made Adams sick.

Bull, meanwhile, said she was hiring an attorney as she awaits her day in court.

After that, she said, "I think I'm going back to Texas."

Next up in Weird News, huffing a can of computer cleaner:

"A passenger in Robar's vehicle during the first collision, in which he allegedly crossed the median on I-89 going about 100 miles per hour and collided with a car driven by Varin Ang in oncoming traffic, told police Robar was spraying keyboard cleaner in his mouth while he was driving and as the collision occurred."

Next stop, slave labor to build the US Embassy in Iraq and other seldom-reported stories:

"The Pentagon has been investigating the slavelike conditions but has not released the names of any violating contractors or announced penalties. In the meantime, billions of dollars in contracts continue to be awarded to First Kuwaiti and other companies at which little accountability exists. As Phinney reported, "No journalist has ever been allowed access to the sprawling 104-acre site."

One more stop - is that an alien overlord in the window as President Bush offers a speech on the economy??

A Gas Planned In Bean Station

It is no joke - although suppressing them may be impossible.

The town of Bean Station is seeking help so they can set a Guinness world record for cooking up the largest pot of beans ever. Nearby Bush Brothers - they of much bean fame and fortune - has donated 1200 pounds of pinto beans to be cooked. But building a 600 gallon pot is no easy effort and the town is seeking sponsors to make their bean dreams a reality.

The city hopes the event at their 11th Annual Harvest Pride Days Festival on Oct. 11-12 breaks the old record set in 2002 in Horace, North Dakota.

And yes, why shouldn't Bean Station have the record for Biggest Pot o' Beans? Snuggled into the bends and curves along the lakes and highways, Bean Station is a most friendly place. More info on the festival is here.

Over the many years here in East TN, I have had many a fine friend from Bean Station. And heard more jokes about the wee town than you can imagine.

So don't be deadly silent. Help them if you can. The freshly-made beans will be sold by the bowl, along with some cornbread, with proceeds going to charity. I bet it will all be a gas!

Camera Obscura - Romero's New Dead; Cronenberg's Crimes; Torchwood

Two filmmakers have consistently offered mind-breaking, visually stunning and unforgettable tales of humanity's darkest and strangest days and do so to this day.

First, George Romero provides another terrifying satirical poke at the living and the living dead as his new zombie movie, "Diary of the Dead", gets high profile praise and placement in the Toronto Film Festival. All other would-be pretenders to the Zombie Mythos fall on their splintered bony knees before Romero. From his first zombie film to the present one, the movies are cinematic poems to the best and worst in all of us.

In "Diary", when the movie poster says "shoot to kill", the shooting referred to is done by camera, from the constant filming in modern culture via cell phones to surveillance cameras. USA Today has more on the new movie:

"The action centers on a group of students filming an old-fashioned horror movie for school. The scares turn real when they see shocking TV footage of corpses feasting on the living. The class assignment evolves into a documentary, obsessively shot by Jason (Joshua Close), who is driven to record every terrifying moment of their frantic escape in a Winnebago.

Though the movie might sound Blair Witch Project-inspired, the handheld camera doesn't shake and the background blares with news reports (some of it actual coverage of Katrina and 9/11), radio broadcasts and amateur Web accounts.

"During the shootings at Virginia Tech, people were filming out of the windows," Romero says. "CNN was asking flood victims to send in pictures. We have all this information now, but it's not being managed."

Though Diary is a departure, it also retains much of the lore and the gore from the director's original four-part Dead saga, but with a few tasty twists. Instead of halting zombies by just shooting them in the head, one stalker gets his brains eaten by chemicals. The slow vs. swift zombie debate continues, with Romero making a humorous case for his shambling brand.

And there are cameos. Those who pay attention might recognize voice-overs by Stephen King, Quentin Tarantino, Simon Pegg, Wes Craven and Guillermo Del Toro."

I am more than eager to see this one.

The other filmmaker whose movies have been powerfully unforgettable - David Cronenberg. He may have at long last found one actor to be his protagonist who is as twisted as he is, Viggo Mortgensen. Viggo was both riveting and funny and scary in "A History of Violence" and he takes his ragged intensity to the old Soviet nations in "Eastern Promises" with actress Naomi Watts.

Cronenberg stirs together such disturbing images and stories in all his films, and never fails to create a film which embeds itself in your brain. This interview with Cronenberg has all the details about his newest project.

Sci-fi/fantasy fans from all over are eagerly waiting for the premiere of "Torchwood" which arrives this Saturday night on the BBC channel. It's a spinoff from the makers of the current "Dr. Who" series. And yes, the title is is sly play on the words Doctor Who.

Reviews are sketchy, as they usually are when it comes to a spin-off series. This one follows a Time-traveling Captain Jack (not Sparrow) who was in last season's "Who", and who finds a Buffy-inspired Hellmouth in Cardiff, where all things extra-terrestial seem to be congregating. The Cap'n then gathers his goofy but lovable misfit gang of pals to combat the unending parade of the unearthly.

As I said, the reviews range from bad to tolerable to ... well, here's one from the UK and another from the US, and the reviewers at IMDB are about 8 to 2 against it. You can decide for yourself if you have BBC on your cable/dish provider.

Now for the strangest movie story of the week:

I recall reading some years back that one of the Wachowski Brothers, they of "The Matrix" fame, was having some .... ah, um ... well there's no other way to say it - brother Larry was undergoing a sex change. I had thought it might be just weird internet rumors. And this week FOX said it was all untrue.

The oddly black leather androgyny of "The Matrix" aside, this rumor has had legs for two years. Why the sudden attention on it now? Perhaps because the G-rated "Speed Racer" movie from the brothers needs some press attention and internet buzz?

Next Friday, right here on this page, I'll have some freebies to give away from the very funny TV series on FX, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia," which kicks off it's third season next week. Stay tuned for details!