Hip-Deep in Dumb

Some days I struggle mightily to restrain childish rants against the presence of The Stupid in our humble, warming globe. There are even times when The Stupid comforts me, reminding me that for all of humanity's achievements, Stupid is a great equalizer. Usually though, I get all self-important and gaze down my nose at creation, and that can't be good.

Sometimes the word Stupid really isn't the best descriptive term which applies to events and people. With that in mind, I'm trying to temper my confusion and outrage with Loving Kindness. (cough) So here is a collection of warm and fuzzy hugs of concern and acceptance for those events and people who do or have done something of ..... let's just call it"Questionable Worth."

In a contest between Barry Manilow and Stephen Colbert, the award goes to Manilow?? (Okay, that goes beyond "questionable" and straight to Stupid) The following moment from Colbert and Emmy winner Jon Stewart helps ... a little bit anyway.



Next - does President Bush sincerely believe a few stops and a few bland words to mark the anniversary of the devastation brought by Hurricane Katrina will raise his standings? He might as well start calling these useless speeches and visits the "Help Is Still On The Way Tour 2006", so that all he'll have to change from visit to visit is the year in which help, not yet presented, will soon be presented. An ABC story on this current event ends with a paragraph which reveals the real reason he has made a trip to the South:

"Bush was ending the day in New Orleans, at dinner with state and local officials. On Wednesday, he is to appear at political fundraisers in Arkansas and Tennessee, although officials will be keeping an eye on [Tropical Storm] Ernesto in case it requires presidential attention."

If you wonder what usually has the President's attention as a hurricane approaches, it's clearing brush at his Texas farm.

Next - some young people in Vermont have begun making a "social statement" by going semi or totally naked in public. Now I have never been to Vermont, but I'm betting that the number of days when the temperature is suitable for being nude would be a small number. This story would really not have garnered my attention if it were not for the "interactive poll" which went with the story as published by the Boston Globe. The question??

Here ya go -- "Do you think nudity is a basic human right?"

The responses to this ridiculous question are fairly entertaining, true. But allow me to add a very serious note to the Boston Globe -- Under the clothes of every human on the planet, they are totally naked.

Perhaps the razor-sharp minds at the Globe could offer us some other must-read polls, like "Hands - Should They Be On The Ends of Your Arms?" (and a big thank you to Tits McGee for this link, and check out her new blog design too! She just always has the best dang links on the internets.)

An engineer friend of mine used to say that certain people were a "bubble left of plumb". A fine phrase indeed. He also used to say that he had days when he was "hip-deep in dumb." Having said that, the ramblings of Katherine Harris, as noted in a Knox Views post, indicate that dumb may have risen far above the hips and sits level at her lips:

"Harris told the journalists "we have to have the faithful in government" because that is God's will. Separating religion and politics is "so wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers," she said."

Or, as in the fiasco of election vote counts and recounts overseen by Harris in Florida in 2000, God needed the help of some hanging chads to accomplish His Will. Mysterious Ways indeed.

And last but certainly not least, how about the D.A.'s office in Colorado who solved the JonBenet case ... or, well, they didn't solve it, they ... well, they made a celebrity! Thankfully the new revised Cracked magazine got that John Mark Karr's confession. An unidentified member of the D.A.'s office remarked on the error, "Hey, he was using the whole 3-name deal, you know, like Lee Harvey Oswald, and all the bad ones use that t-name dealie." Here's an excerpt from the Cracked confession:

"They did catch up with me in Bangkok and I was consulting with doctors about getting a sex change, so I think it’s pretty clear I’m crazy."

Lawsuit Looms for Corker

A lawsuit from 2003 against GOP Senate candidate Bob Corker is finally headed to review in court. Alice has more on the story here. The hilarious aspect is that Corker's political's lackeys claim that the pesky Harold Ford Jr. is to blame for the lawsuit taking place prior to an election.

Hey, if Ford Jr can plan his political strategy that far ahead, then maybe he deserves to go to Washington.

Is It Remembrance or 9-11 Porn?

CNN has announced that on the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks of 9-11, they will replay their entire coverage of that day. Viewers and online folks can access it via the seldom-used CNN feature called Pipeline for free that day.

The story says:

"NEW YORK - CNN will mark the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks by replaying on the Internet the cable network's coverage of that day's events.

Viewers can watch how events unfolded starting at 8:30 a.m., minutes before the first reports of an airplane hitting the World Trade Center. The feed will run in real time, as the network showed it five years ago, until midnight.

For the day, CNN will make its online video service, CNN Pipeline, available for free. Normally, viewers pay $2.95 a month or $24.95 a year for four separate video feeds.

Online viewers will be able to watch live reports of memorial services through one of the feeds. So that viewers won't accidentally stumble upon graphic footage from 2001, the replay feed will be covered with a notice instructing users to click only if they want to watch.

"Our users may choose to view the stream of coverage from Sept. 11, 2001, or live coverage of memorial services at Ground Zero, or they may click through the numerous interactive elements on the site," said David Payne, senior vice president and general manager of CNN.com. "They have the power to determine the best way for them to remember the anniversary."

So is this just shameless marketing of CNN's Pipeline services? Will they sell new ads to new customers?

Is this Remembrance or Tragedy as Porn?

Sushi and Snakes On A Plane

Deep satisfaction followed a fierce consumption of eels and then going to see "Snakes On A Plane" as I did last night. My thanks to The Editor for an early b-day present. The eels of course were part of a massive and delicious sushi feast. But they are kind of snake-ish critters, so I felt a movie about a planeful of snakes was a most appropriate combo.

In more than a few ways, Snakes On A Plane plays like one of the many Airplane Disaster movies so common in the mid to late 1970s and even has a touch of the comedy "Airplane!" on board too. All it lacked was some child on board who is enroute to a hospital for some transplant accompanied by a nun playing a guitar. I mean, when David Koechner (sportscaster Champ Kind of "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy") is the pilot, there is comedy afoot.

The movie is by far the finest Drive-In style movie I've seen in many a year. Forget about plot logic or other elements of realism. This is an unadulterated Fun Time. Sam Jackson is having a blast here leading the Heroic Effort Against The Snakes, and more comedy was added with actor Kenan Thomas of Saturday Night Live.

But I must say that even the most crude Drive-In fodder still contains fascinating subtexts, and SOAP does as well. We live in times when an airplane flight is a source of nightmares - the passengers and crew of this flight mirror much in the real world. Flying is a test of courage. When flight today is accompanied by terrorism fears, its no wonder there is much interest in SOAP.

And as with the cheapest of horror movies (or the most expensive varities) a very real desire to be able to identify and battle the Evil that would destroy Us is based on everyday experiences. The famous line spoken by Jackson gives voice to a common frustration -- we are all damn sick and tired of the threats focused on flying. And in SOAP, we get a truly cathartic experience - locate the nasty threat, work together as best we can to aid each other and relentlessly battle that threat.

Just as in movies past where average folk battled the animalistic terrors of radioactivity, SOAP offers characters the opportunity to battle the animalistic jihadists - passengers must improvise to create a defense as scientists on the ground assist in discovering the origins of the snakes and obtaining all the many anti-venoms necessary to combat the poision in the air.



These creatures hide out in places we assume are safe, and in negotiating a path to restore power to the plane, Jackson must distinguish between the normal chaos of wires and the abnormal chaos of mean, quick-moving snakes.

Such sub-texts aside, the bottom line for SOAP is that it delivers exactly what it promises in the gory glory of Drive-In Movies Past. I laughed, I jumped, and had a fantastic time. Keep your costumed super or not-so-super heroes. SOAP has a vigorous joy in celebrating the success of the frustrated fliers of today.

One more bonus for the movie - stay through the credits to watch the music video for the song "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" by a group called Cobra Starship. The video for this 70s/80s mega-theme is here.

It is truly and hilariously awful - in a good way.

UPDATE on Today's Question- Camera Obscura (Late Edition)

I am more than a little ticked off with the Blogger problems today, but hopefully it appears it has been resolved .... better be anyway!!!

So on the question from the previous post today -- Who are the 10 most memorable TV characters?

And please check out the comments in the previous post today - some fine answers are there and some are on my list ... sort of.

This is a very tough selection of answers, and I'll probably forget something, but here goes. One thing I did keep in mind were shows which I often find myself watching both new and in reruns, in other words, the characters as well as the stories, always made me come back for more, My answers are in no particular order:

1 - Homer Simpson -- A fan of Bart and many others, including Mr. Burns, I have to give it to the main man, Homer. If the ancients had the storyteller of the same name to catalog their myths, then the Homer of Springfield is the modern equivalent. He is the Everyman of America. At times selfish, oafish, inattentive to family, fearful, searching for that one gimmick which will bring endless wealth and fame, content to sit in his underwear and watch whatever appears on the television. He argues fiercely with God, is often promoted at his work for no particular reason and just as often fired for the same reasoning (or lack of it). His memory of history is dictated by the needs of the moment. He has been to outer space, has been a victim of crime and punishment, and yet, no matter what, he usually finds that being connected to his family is something he values completely. Unless food, beer, or ease of comfort are offered as alternatives.

2. - Agent Dale Cooper -- It is rather hard to name just one favorite from the enigmatic "Twin Peaks," it was Coop we all could relate too. He loves good coffee and good pie, and has an investigative mind which pieces together bits and pieces of a mystery that still defies complete description. Brilliantly played with both childish innocence and an understanding of the darkest criminal hearts, he was a pinnacle in American detective fiction. Without Coop, we would never have been ready to accept Scully and Mulder.

3. - Buffy Summers - Yes I am a huge fan of the show. And I have a great admiration for Spike and Drusilla, two of the best vampire characters I've ever seen on television (a thin field, admittedly). What kept me watching constantly and made me a lifelong fan however, was Buff. She endured mindless authorities, brutal enemies, was accepting of the ever-changing nature of her closest friends, was sometimes gullible and forgiving to a fault, and deep down had immense self-confidence. But more importantly she was courageous as a constant, she learned from errors, and she refused to accept being categorized as one type of person. Juggling with ethical and moral dilemmas, the character waded through the both the mundane and the serious challenges from high school and college beyond. In my mind, a bona fide hero who realized 'with great power comes great responsibility'.

4. - Rod Serling -- Like Whedon said, he wasn't exactly a character, but he was a defining center to all the real and surreal stories of "The Twilight Zone". He spoke directly to the viewers, casually had a cigarette in his hand and his use of language was often poetic, he presented challenges to morality and to reality, urging viewers each week to remember there is much more to the world than the things we can see and can touch. And again, I'll often find myself watching marathon reruns and have more memories of a vast collection of some of the best actors and actresses as well as writers who worked throughout the 20th century. Sadly, Hollywood made him a spokesperson for the rather uninspiring tales of "The Night Gallery", but the hundreds of shows he shepherded on "Twilight Zone" remain benchmarks of television.

5 - Mr. Haney -- There has never, ever, ever been a TV show as surreal or as funny as the short-lived "Green Acres." And it was tough for me to pick just one from that unusual show - Hank Kimball, Arnold Ziffle, and even Mr and Mrs Douglas were also memorable, but Haney's quivering constant sales pitches and devotion to mindless capitalism were so very entertaining. All he sold (or perhaps I should say misrepresented) was "original, genuine, one-of-a-kind" and always worthless and pointless. Still, he never wavered despite the lunacy of his products. A failed product was merely an opportunity to sell someone something else to replace it. Whatever you needed, he always had it "on the back of my truck". He was Advertising Incarnate.

6. - Caine -- From the time I watched the pilot movie to the last episode (and not that crappy remake from the early 1990s), the stories and the viewpoint of the Shaolin priest on-the-run in the Old West was more influential on me than I can say. Everything about that show was far and above the typical TV fare. Tackling topics of racism, greed, vendettas, poverty, and so much more, this one character somehow found joy in the smallest of things, was always a creature of wonder and of wandering, and his waking world leapt between memory and the moment. Watching then and now in reruns, I am amazed that these Zen riddles ever found success in the television world. It isn't a perfect show, but that character made an indelible impression.

7. - Ted Baxter -- The witless news anchor of "Mary Tyler Moore" was the one character on the show I liked best. I seldom seek out reruns of that show, but in each of the episodes he was in, he boldy paraded his ignorance with such bravado and commitment, it was easy to see him as real. Will Ferrell's Ron Burgundy owed much to Ted - a barely educated, tough-talking, opinionated doofus he truly believed that by altering the tone of his voice he could make facts out of anything. I think his character is so similar to the current crop of talking-heads so prevalent in TV news today. Vain, cowardly, and ill-informed, he presented the reality that a news-reader is hardly a person to be admired by the viewing public.

8 - Captain Jean Luc Picard -- No, he isn't the icon of the mythic characters of Kirk and Spock of the original "Star Trek," and I do enjoy the heights of over-acting those characters reached. There is one simple reason Picard is on my list -- just imagine the re-invention of the Trek franchise without him. The character, played to perfection by Patrick Stewart, provided a vital ingredient: Credibility. I'm sure few will agree with me, but that's my argument and I'm sticking to it. And the franchise would have never been extended without him.

9. and 10 -- A Tie -- I'm going to cheat a little here, since I think two different casts of players made two shows the stuff of legend. The original casts of "Saturday Night Live" and the cast of "Monty Python's Flying Circus". To this day, both of those shows are icons in television because of the combined and individual efforts of the original casts. I seldom get excited to see a repeat of SNL unless it is from the first two or three seasons (Bill Murray did bring much to the show when he arrived and Chevy Chase left). And as for Monty Python -- I never, repeat NEVER, fail to laugh even though I've seen those episodes hundreds of times. Both casts made television history and I can think of no ensemble who had such astounding talent.

POSTSCRIPT: I am positive over the next few days, I'll think of another character or performance that will jump into my mind, but that's part of the fun of this kind of exercise. Please add your own favorites, demonize my choices, and thanks to all who have played along so far. (It does really bug me that I can't think of a private detective, cop or doctor as I have put this list together.)


UPDATE 2: A few other bloggers have also picked up this thread (and thanks very much for the links!!!!). You can check them out at Salem's Lots, Sharon Cobb and Tennessee Ticket.

UPDATE 3: I've decided that since I had a tie for Number 9, that leaves me the wiggle room necessary to name a Number 10. That has to be Stephen Colbert -- in a very short time, the character he has created for his show has unmasked the Clueless Hardcore Conservative as a tenacious chucklehead. That character brought all of the Washington elite and the Press Corps face to face with their failings in a way that was evocative of Mark Twain or Will Rogers, and if either of those brilliant folk had a TV show, it would be just like Colbert's. As many others have said before me - I Heart Stephen Colbert.
And really, I may just have to make the next list of TV faves a Top 25. Thanks again to all for playing along with this!!

A Brief Delay and A Question

Some early non-computer tasks this morning mean that the usual Friday movie and entertainment news will not appear until sometime later this afternoon. Fear not, all will be normal soon.

In the meantime a question for your consideration, and you may leave your answers in the comments.

Who are the Ten Most Memorable Television characters?

The idea was tackled by writer/director Joss Whedon here, and he says the idea came his way from writer James Gunn. Whedon did mention one I would put on my list, Agent Dale Cooper. And Gunn says no cartoon characters allowed, but there is no way I could make a list without mentioning Homer Simpson, so forget that rule. My list will appear later in an Update.

Have at it!

The Disaster Without A Recovery

Contracting scandals, incompetence and a pace on par with geological time are just part of the reasons that the rebuilding on the Gulf Coast one year after Katrina has made few advances.

A fine review of the past year can be found at Facing South - thanks to Knox Views for indicating the report. From the summary:

"Despite promises from national leaders to '‘do what it takes'’ to rebuild the Gulf, the region'’s recovery has been left to move at a snail'’s pace,– with tragic results,'” says Chris Kromm, co-author of the report and director of the Institute. '“Without a revived national commitment, the Gulf and its people won'’t come back'."

This fisaco on the Gulf is the most prominent example of how much the U.S. lacks leadership in critical areas. Just imagine that the towns torn to tatters and left to wallow in bureaucratic nonsense was your home town, or in your state. What reactions other than shock and disgust would you have? The families left to fend for themselves and the towns left to stumble through debris perhaps might be expected in a third world nation, but in the Superpower Bastion of Freedom and Democracy?

Shame aplenty can be served all around. Even more staggering are the numerous acheivements of private groups and individuals who have provided aid throughout the Gulf. And all this while those in charge clucked their tounges at what a tragedy the storm and its aftermath were.

Hoaxes and Cynicism

Are you prayers earnestly delivered, but answers to them a bit ... Unknown?

Maybe you need to amp up your delivery and reception technology by using the Prayer Antenna.

To encounter this unique device, I had the chance to visit two fine web sites I'm sure to visit again. One is all about Hoaxes. The other, all about Cynicism.

$126 Billion For Immigration Reform

Hysteria over immigrants legal and illegal abound and the furious fires being stoked got fanned even higher when a congressional report revealed the price tag for the Senate bill to "address the problem" -- 126 billion dollars over the next ten years.

That's a whopping $12.6 billion a year according to the CBO report, which brought out the righteous indignation of Rep. Tancredo who leads the opposition to the bill and supports a House version which offers a felony status for illegals and no changes to the guest worker programs. Both bills call for a 870 mile Fence Project.

Outrageous increases in payments via tax breaks, medical and SSI benefits are part of the cost too along with 31,000 more officers in law enforcement. Though it is noted by some supporters these costs will be offset by the tax revenues gained from the earnings of the immigrant sector.

The Washington Post story says:

"Most people recognize there is going to be a price tag for fixing a broken immigration system, no question about that," said Ben Johnson, director of the Immigration Policy Center, which favors the Senate bill. "It still comes down to the moral question of 'How do we create a new, workable immigration policy?'"

Oh you got that part right -- the fact is no viable, practical solution has yet to emerge. Instead we have a political buzz factor - "protect our borders!!" and "it's time for a change!" but those who have been in charge for the last 8 years, led by Republicans, have failed to enforce existing laws and now want to throw one hundred and twenty-six billion dollars at the problem.

It's easy to frighten the White People with Brown Fear. And Fear continues to be the Weapon of Choice in political policy.

In one Pennsylvannia town, the mayor has taken to wearing a bulletproof vest in public, his Fear is so Great, and the town has decided to chase them dang outsiders away Wild West style, vowing to:

"... get rid of the illegal people. It's this simple: They must leave ."

Other provision in Hazelton call for $1,000 a day fines for landlords who rent to illegals, revoking for five years the business license of any who employ an illegal.

Numerous cities and states are enacting their own laws to cope with the New Fear since the Republicans and Democrats in Washington can't get their programs organized.

Haphazard anger, ignorance and frustration are the polictical coin of the day. Taxpayers get an idiotic policy program and a massive ripoff. From Washingon DC to Your Home Town, the zero precent solution is gonna cost you.

Venable Seeks Recount in 1st District Race

GOP congressional candidate Richard Venable is seeking a recount of the August primary if the party agrees with his view that it is appropriate. Venable finished the race in second place to David Davis of Johnson City.

Press reports today from Kingsport indicate concern due to the long lines and delays and malfunctions of voting machines, issues which have cropped up statewide in the August primaries.

Will the GOP approve a recount of votes in 12 counties? Venable says it's the right thing to do:

"The 1st Congressional District Republican Primary was a tough race, decided by about seven-tenths of one percent, and conducted in a professional manner by the top candidates," Venable said in the statement. "However, I do feel it appropriate that I make this recount request to honor the hard work and dedication of my supporters and family. I would like to add that I fully expect to support our Republican nominee for the 1st Congressional District as determined by this recount."

In a side note, Democrat candidate Rick Trent, Morristown City Councilman, has a massive uphill battle for the seat the GOP has held for over 100 yeaars, but the question for him now is financing. Judging from the district's history, can Trent expect the state's Democrat Party to provide one penny to his campaign? Will they even support him with endorsements? Or is the 1st District abandoned as a lost cause?

It seems to me the voters are the ones who view Congress and Congressional elections as a lost cause since 75% of voters did not cast a ballot in August.

Gossip Rules The Media

So much broadcast news time is devoted to a likely bogus suspect in the murder of JonBenet Ramsey, while critical events slide past as if they held no importance.

Like it or not, a Federal Judge says the President has been violating the Constitution and the Administration says it will continue to violate the document's laws. You know, that document which details the freedoms all Americans have - not freedoms which are negotiable depending on circumstance.

The second case of the worst war crimes possible, genocide, is beginning against Saddam Hussein and his staff, accused of using mustard gas and coventional weapons in 1988 to kill 180,000 Iraqis. You remember Iraq, right? The place where our National Guard is putting their lives on the line? It isn't a hot-button election brochure word - it's a country where death and destruction occurs on the hour.

You recall the National Guard don't you? The emergency back up support systems for states in times of emergency? The one the nation's governors are warning is about to disappear forever and fall under control of the Federal Government???

If Ramsey or Busta Rhymes stories or Mel Gibson's alcohol consumption are the leads in the news you're hearing, then you're not hearing news. It's gossip.

World's Fair Pez Dispenser Worth A Fortune?

I never attended the 1982 World's Fair in Knoxville, so maybe it's impossible for me to have a worthwhile take on the topic. I do recall vividly the fair was supposed to present a variety of "new energy" displays which all mostly failed to work and the whole thing ended up being a drain on the electric systems (and a boon for TVA I suppose).

Up til now, the one memorable icon of the fair has been the so-called Sunsphere - forever linked to a rather hilarious episode of "The Simpsons", in which we learn the tower is a home to wigs and Bart and his friends knocked it over.

But now a piece of fair memorabilia is the desire of serious Pez collectors. The most sought after Pez dispenser in the world is the 1982 World's Fair version. Sources claim it could be worth $100,000.

It's up for auction now on eBay.

Sadly, the World's Fair pencil sharpener someone gave me has yet to be valued above, say, a nickle.

Infinite Energy Source or Hoax?

Is it really a new and cheap process for creating energy or is it some kind of hoax?

A tech company in Ireland says they have invented something that seems to stagger the current laws of physics and even posted a full page ad in The Economist challenging some 12 top scientists to verify their discovery. The Steorn company says too that others have verified their claims, but those experts won't go "on the record." Infinite and clean energy?

So confusion and claims of fraud or a publicity stunt swirl over the claim. Endgadget has one report, another take on the claims are here at MetaFilter. Could this just be a viral marketing campaign for a TV show? Will Steorn end up being a company featured in the TV show "Lost"?

The company's website boasts claims that boggle the business world:

"Following the validation process, Steorn intends to license its technology to organisations within the energy sector. It will allow use of its technology royalty-free for certain purposes including water and rural electrification projects in third world countries, details to be announced later."

Huck and Tom on The Middle East

A teacher friend of mine sent along this excerpt from Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer Abroad" featuring Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer talking about the Holy Land. The book was published in 1894 and the attitudes then are pretty much the attitudes today. Truly fascinating stuff.

Twain uses the archaic word "paynim" to refer to non-Christians, and usually meant Moslem.

From Tom Sawyer Abroad (1894):

"Huck Finn, do you mean to tell me you don't know what a crusade is?"

"No," says I, "I don't.

"A crusade is a war to recover the Holy Land from the paynim."

"Which Holy Land?"

"Why, the Holy Land -- there ain't but one."

"What do we want of it?"

"Why, can't you understand? It's in the hands of the paynim, and it's our duty to take it away from them."

"How did we come to let them git hold of it?"

"We didn't come to let them git hold of it. They always had it."

"Why, Tom, then it must belong to them, don't it?"

"Why of course it does. Who said it didn't?"

I studied over it, but couldn't seem to git at the right of it, no way. I says:
"It's too many for me, Tom Sawyer. If I had a farm and it was mine, and another person wanted it, would it be right for him to --"

"Oh, shucks! you don't know enough to come in when it rains, Huck Finn. It ain't a farm, it's entirely different. You see, it's like this. They own the land, just the mere land, and that's all they DO own; but it was our folks, our Jews and Christians, that made it holy, and so they haven't any business to be there defiling it. It's a shame, and we ought not to stand it a minute. We ought to march against them and take it away from them."

"Why, it does seem to me it's the most mixed-up thing I ever see! Now, if I had a farm and another person --"

"Don't I tell you it hasn't got anything to do with farming? Farming is business, just common low-down business: that's all it is, it's all you can say for it; but this is higher, this is religious, and totally different."

Cibo Matto On BTVS

A net surfer from Colorado found this here cup of joe today while searching for some info on the band Cibo Matto, which is a band I discovered while watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It's one of several bands that show featured and is a tasty peice of 90s pop.

The episode is the first of the second season, "When She Was Bad" and Buff arrives at the Bronze to tease her friends. She's mean and sexy for most of the episode, and as a member of the male sex, I felt much sympathy for poor Xander, who is dragged to the dance floor for some way-too-close dancing.

Since school is back in session now, and this is a back-to-school episode and since I'll take any excuse to hype Buff and the work of writer/director Joss Whedon, here is a clip from that episode with Cibo Matto playing "Sugar Water" from their CD Viva! La Woman. (Sadly the clip ends before Cordelia gets to make her "get over yourself" speech to Buff and yes I know waaaaaay to much about BTVS.)

Camera Obscura - A Deceitful Heart, Super News and SOAP!

Ahhhhh, Friday movie time. Best day of the week. Nothing is quite as satisfying as finally getting to see a movie made here in East Tennessee which actually hits it's mark so well and so expertly - even if the movie is a hell of a downer. I will admit that after watching it, I can understand why the state's film office and Knoxville's did not push hard for a local premiere. It's an ugly and difficult film, but loaded with talent and made with great fearlessness.

The movie is "The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things," directed by Asia Argento, who also stars in the film with some great cameos from Winona Ryder and Peter Fonda. Argento shot most of the movie in 2004 in Knox and Jefferson counties ... and hey, isn't that Jefferson County Sheriff Davenport eyeing up Asia's skirt in that scene at the jail?? Yeah! It is!! Fine work there sheriff - really, you did your lines very well. And of course there's a brief scene at the Mouse's Ear South too. More on that later.

Some controversy over the writer of the source stories for the movie emerged this year as "J.T. Leroy" who claimed it was auto-biographical turned out to be writer Laura Albert. That aside, the material is a brutal and depressing journey through the horrific child abuse for young Jeremiah. Bounced from a foster home and into the arms of his drug-addicted mother and her madness, the story is far more realistic than anyone would like to admit. Kids do endure this type of horror. Argento never backs off just how bad and insane the world of a helpless child can be. So, no, this is not a movie to "entertain" you.

Argento also bravely plays a role where she is ugly, sick and twisted. I doubt if Hollywood would ever give her the "Charlize Theron Award" for playing an Ugly Monster, but her work is as good as Theron's. Her camera and her narrative style here is like the fragemented and psychological maze of young Jeremiah's mind. Local East TN landmarks are often in the background and you can watch the movie and say "Hey! I know where that is!"

Is it a good sign that seedy and grungy locations in Knox and Jefferson Counties help fill Argento's vision? One thing for sure, including the Mouse's Ear Strip Club is a small but vivid scene of just how low-rent and skanky a journey surrounds the poor Jeremiah.

This movie is not a Special News Report on child abuse and predators. It's a movie which plainly explores the horror and madness some children do experience. As critic Roger Ebert said " I cannot recommend the film, or dismiss it. My two-star rating represents a compromise between admiration and horror."

Whew. Something a little less awful, Joe?? Please???

Okey Doke. As long as you remember to consider some of the facts in Argento's fiction.
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If imitation is flattery, then I has been flattered by the minds behind Atomic Tumor today. And there are fine recommendations there. Check it out!
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A writer who was able to tap into childhood and drag some redemption out of the horror was Roald Dahl and this week I finally saw "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory."

I'm one of the few who did not like the other movie "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" based on Dahl's book. For one, Tim Burton gets it - the movie is both dark but very funny and WIllie isn't right in the head for reasons from his own childhood. Best of all, no overly sweet songs. The lyrics Dahl wrote get souped up by composer Danny Elfman into a Missy Misdemeanor style hip-hop, some heavy metal, and even a 60s San Francisco rock medley. Very enertaining movie overall with a hearty recommendation.

Can Burton, Depp and Elfman make the music work for them as well in their announced production for the musical "Sweeney Todd"??
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The silliness and the fantasy of Stan Lee's "So You Want To Be A Superhero?" on Sci-Fi Channel has been so entertaining this summer, even though Monkey Woman got the boot last week. The most entertainment is provided by seeing Stan do his stuff. Down to just three contestants now - Feedback, Major Victory and Fat Momma - I feel fairly safe in predicting a winner. I think it may be a close call, but I'm going with Major Victory. Or maybe Feedback. But not Fat Momma. But one of them. Feh. Maybe I should just watch to see what happens.

Make Mine Marvel!

According to Lee's Useless Super Hero Generator, I can be The Perplexing Lightning Utqsjbbu, oh yeah.... that's me. (snark)
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Newscoma has the details that "Cracked" is Back! It's not Mad Magazine, but it was Cracked.
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Jean-Pierre Melville's 1969 movie about the French Resistance gets a rave review here from Pith in the Wind on it's re-release.

Last week I finally got to see Melville's "The Samurai" (1967) which has been a very influential movie, especially for John Woo's "The Killer." And while raves are heaped on Melville's restrained hitman, I think Woo made it better. Woo turned Melville's symbolism into operatic action. And Woo has influenced nearly evey action movie Hollywood has made since.
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The tubes of the internets have been humming a happy happy song about the tounge-in-cheek thriller "Snakes On A Plane" since fans demaned the movie retain its original title last year. It opens today. Expect big business. Or Samuel L. Jackson may get medival on yer ass. An entire timeline of the movie's journey from failure to megahype is here.

SOAP looks like the best drive-in movie of the year. Now if I could just force an internet tubes campaign to bring back the Drive-In.

UPDATE: A post by LA Barabbas reveals another in a string of confused identities which happens as he works withing the major studio systems in LA. It makes me realized I do need to go to Hollywood and follow the always lucky LAB around - I'm telling you, we could turn these events into either a movie or a contract.

A Comedian Is President

If politics has become a stale and unpleasant joke, then why not make a comedian president?

That's the idea in the new movie "Man of the Year" written and directed by Barry Levinson and starring Robin Williams, Chris Walken, and Lewis Black. Imagine John Stewart making a run for the White House. Here's the preview:

Are State and Local Taxes About to Jump?

The funding mechanisms of local and state government are headed for a collision course which will impact all residents and businesses - perhaps property owners the most - according to a new study from the TACIR (TN Advisory Commission on Intergovernmental Relations).

The full study is here and a news report on the study here.

The TACIR often influences how new policies are made in the state, and the ideas they present in their study point the way to how the current system may change.

One of the most notable elements of the study is that Residential property taxes have been increasing while tax revenues from business have been decreasing.

"TACIR noted that from 1973 to 2000, the residential share of total property tax assessments rose from 35 percent to almost 50 percent, while the commercial and industrial share hovered close to 40 percent. By 2005, residential property represented 53.3 percent of total assessments, while commercial and industrial assessments had dropped to 35.9 percent."

I always see these types of "advisory reports" as the smoke of a growing fire. The state has been reluctant to increase the share of revenues from sales taxes to cities and counties -- that seems to be the most obvious way to aid communities and keep property taxes from a dangerous increase. Fear of a rejection or an exodus of business means the individual will be targeted instead.

Another suggestion from this report is far more ominous and may point the way that some in state and local government want to steer -- more taxing authority for cities and counties. The report says:

"Significant new taxing authority that allows local governments to take advantage of existing tax bases or activities that are currently untaxed. Possible changes include an increase in the local sales tax single article limitation (currently set at $1,600), the authority to levy payroll taxes, and local ad valorem vehicle taxes in lieu of existing wheel taxes."

A local payroll tax?? That would be a very bad move. Yet, higher taxes are certainly being considered and it appears thought is being given to find a way to quickly and quietly to change the way residents in the state are taxed.

After all, the report also says one of the "problems" in creating revenue is the "truth in taxation" laws are so public that it is "politically difficult" to raise taxes on property. Sounds too much like some "less public" decision-making is the goal here.

Once the TACIR begins to influence legislation, it is usually with a specific goal in mind. Government is always looking for ways to increase taxation and public review is the best way to insure spending isn't bloated and that any new legislation is necessary and fair.

What They Said

Some Wedesday web-walking has much to offer on all kinds of topics - discuss them as you wish.

I will make this claim first, however -- seems there were so many electronic problems, long lines and mistakes made in the August 2006 elections across the state. Here in Hamblen County, a two vote margin for the seat of incumbent County Commissioner Bobby Reinhardt has prompted him to file a suit because election officials say the vote tally shows a total tie, except in the absentee ballots - and that a court order is required to conduct a recount of those votes. Hopefully, the suit also calls for checking the registration status of all absentee voters.

Lawsuits have followed in county after county - was it really just electronic malfunctions or a long ballot? Isn't this a clear sign to the state election office to investigate the problems and provide some assistance?

Salem's Lots has a fine post on the myths of immigrants legal and illegal and how the state and federal officials respond to the issue. Here is a sample:

"I'm tired of being anecdoted and told we have a problem, without seeing any real evidence. I'm not saying there is no problem, but I want to know what it really is.

Jingoism and xenophobia may boost ratings for talk show hosts, and probably engenders comments I read recently that Nolensville Road is becoming a junior Tijuana (obviously the commenter has never been to the real Tijuana), but hot air does little but produce steam.

Yeah, we could bump up the penalties on employers who hire illegal immigrants, but the truth is, we don't have the means of enforcement, and it would probably do little than cause employers do a more efficient job of keeping illegals off the books.

I'm not saying that our nation's borders should be opened and unguarded. I just don't see how we can legislate here in Tennessee, based on anecdotes, ignorance and fear.

Can you honestly say that illegal immigrants have had a detrimental effect on YOUR life?

It is also odd to me that very little news media attention has been paid to the massive federal probe and charges against Garcia Labor Company. The charges indicate the company was aggressively seeking ways to employ illegals, but the state's media have given the story a very low profile.

Did you know the US has been at war longer with Iraq than with Germany in WW2? I've said it before, but the fact is we have had an active military operational status in Iraq since 1991 - 15 years and counting.

Go check out the saga of Tennesse Jed and his Bronco. He got it back!

Giving into Fear is what terrorists want, isn't it? Then take a look at what Tam says:

"If they "hate our freedom" so much, Georgie, then why are we doing everything we can to help them kill it?"

That's a quick peek around the state - if you have a burning issue in yer noggin, add it in the comments and we'llt ake that on too!

You're Fat and You Need Government Help

There are more obese people in the world now than there are undernourished people, according to comments presented at the annual conference of International Association of Agricultural Economists. Simply put, worldwide humanity is quickly becoming fat and fatter and market manipulation is viewed as a solution.

Barry Popkin says government intervention or a manipulation of pricing on "unhealthy foods" may be the way to reduce the fat:

"But all countries have failed to address the obesity "boom," Popkin said. Food prices may be used to manipulate people's diets and tilt them towards healthier options, he suggested.

For instance, if we charge money for every calorie of soft drink and fruit drink that was consumed, people would consume less of it. If we subsidize fruit and vegetable production, people would consume more of it and we would have a healthier diet," Popkin said."

Marketing - not as in going to one, but as in advertising to consumers - is seen by some as the real culprit here. Rules over adverstising, existing federal guidelines which are often deeply deceptive, and an enormous increase in the reliance on processed foods do not make it simple for the average person to even comprehend what foods we eat and what we don't.

A recent interview with writer/author Michael Pollan says we have to become "food detectives" to discover what we are really eating in America -- mostly corn and sugar. Then of course, there are the cows fed chicken poop, which we then eat, and that supermarkets are the worst places to get good food. Yeah, and which government agency decided to allow for crap and meat to be fed to chickens and cows??

Read the interview with Pollan here.

And put that bag of "go-food" down and take a dang walk, people.

Or wait until Nanny Government, pushed by industrial needs and fearful consumers, dictates what your daily intake of calories will be.

Mandatory Lie Detector Tests?

A fascinating story was cited today by Justin on KnoxViews about a "test" that's been taking place at the airport in Knoxville this summer. The project requires those who fly to take a mini lie-detector test in order to identify terrorists or other lawbreakers who take to the air.

The news story from the WSJ says:

"The test alone signals a push for new ways to combat terrorists using technology. Authorities are convinced that beyond hunting for weapons and dangerous liquids brought on board airliners, the battle for security lies in identifying dangerous passengers.

Here is the Cogito concept: A passenger enters the booth, swipes his passport and responds in his choice of language to 15 to 20 questions generated by factors such as the location, and personal attributes like nationality, gender and age. The process takes as much as five minutes, after which the passenger is either cleared or interviewed further by a security officer."

So the ONLY way this dectection can work is if air passensgers are all subjected to this test?

Stupid, just stupid.

Fluffy Chucklefanny

"Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

(Thanks goes to Tits McGee for revealing the above web page and the fun to be had there. Your new name awaits you there too. And if you want to know why I am not mentioning my "new name", you'll have to just go to the web page above and do as instructed with the letters of my name. Oh and you can leave it in the comments if you think I'm being chicken for not adding mine next to Fluffy Chucklefanny's. Seems that whenever I do these re-naming games, something horrible appears. .... ok, fine, fine -- my new name is Crusty Pottysquirt. Happy?? Jeepers, name makes me think I need to carry some towels or somethin'.)

Not Really Lost Apollo 11 Footage

I think I know how the NASA folks feel. It isn't that something important is missing or destroyed, it's just that no one knows where it is.

That's not really lost, then is it?

Half-information and innuendo have led some to decide that there are some soooper-secret "lost Apollo mission tapes" containing soooooper-secret government information. Not sure what information could be - alien contact, footage of Neil Armstrong on a faked Moon-landing site maybe?

Here's the deal:

High quality television signals from the first Moon landing (and other missions) were recorded on telemetry tapes at three locations. A search is on to find these tapes, since the original slow-scan tapes won't last forever. But finding the tapes has become something of a mystery.

So the tapes are not lost. Not yet. If they aren't somewhere, then they may be destroyed. But that isn't lost is it?

But perhaps it would be a good idea to locate them, before the only reference for the Moon landing becomes a footnote for Famous MTV logos.

Survey Says Democrats Have The Advantage

A survey out this weekend from Newsweek reveals a growing trend among Americans - that Democrats would provide improved leadership in both policymaking and the national economy.

From the survey:

"Fifty-three percent of respondents said they wanted to see the Democrats win enough seats to take over Congress, while 34 percent said they wanted the Republicans to retain control, the poll found.


Fifty-three percent of Americans surveyed also said they trusted the Democrats to better manage the economy, while 34 percent sided with Republicans, according to the poll.

The GOP-led Congress has been staggered by charges of corruption, an economy built on deficits, and a lack of supervision over the other branches of government. While the approval of the current Bush administration has improved, the coming fall elections are aabout the Congress.

The recent win of Ned Lamont in Connecticut is not a referendum on the war in Iraq - it was a clear voice on the disapproval of Congress and the view that they are failing to do their jobs.

The idea that it's the GOP way or terrorism wins is a false framing of the issues Americans are debating in earnest. A wider range of policies and actions in the military and the diplomatic realms need consideration, and that the It's Good Us or Evil Them argument doesn't serve America's best interests. Both political wings need to remember that.

Camera Obscura - Clones, Private Eyes and Snake Plissken

Remaking every movie ever made is no new invention in Hollyweird, silent films often got remade and I kinda lost count of how many times C.B. DeMille remade all his biblical epics. A true challenge for a constant film critic is to be able to see a new (or an older) movie with eyes of the uninitiated. I like challenges.

So today brings some recent Hollywood hits and their origins. And the burning question of the day is "Will Snake Plissken return?" I sure hope so.

First on the remake list is the ever-exploding-world of director Michael Bay's sci-fi thriller "The Island." Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson star in this futuristic tale of a society forced underground after a massive worldwide biological apocalypse. Every moment of their lives is under constant watch, and even the bathrooms instantly assess your bio-behavior and dictates dietary requirements. It is quickly clear something is rotten in this mall-world.



I don't want to give too much away - but the main characters are clones. Why they exist is a question that puts them on the run and gives Bay a chance to blow up a lot of stuff, and he taps into many other movies - "Logan's Run", "Blade Runner", etc etc. But it took me about an hour after the movie ended to remember where I had seen it before.

The story is a huge budget remake of an ultra low budget 70s movie called "Parts: The Clonus Horror." Certainly the acting in "The Island" is what helps carry the movie, far better than the "Clonus Horror." And if I had never seen any of the above mentioned movies, then "The Island" stands as a very exciting sci-fi thriller. So I did enjoy the movie.

But the double-feature night at the drive-in where I saw "Parts" (the second feature was the marvelously titled "Meat Cleaver Massacre", and distributors have dropped the word Parts from The Clonus Horror) was and is the best way to watch this kind of half-baked goofy thriller. There were five of us in someone's station wagon that night at the drive-in, and I remember we were all intensely pleased when it began to rain so hard we couldn't see the screen anymore and we turned our attention to the case of beer we had.

Another genre retread which I also liked when I watched it this week was the largely ignored mystery-comedy "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." The movie stars Robert Downey Jr as a petty crook taking a turn thru Hollywood as a hopeful actor and Val Kilmer as a gay private detective. The movie is very funny and the script and direction by Shane Black is steeped in every Hollywood private eye movie ever made. Black ("Lethal Weapon," "Long Kiss Goodnight") gives Downey the most entertaining job of narrating all you see and hear - very funny and very P.I., with a touch of William Holden from "Sunset Boulevard."

Movies from Black owe everything to Raymond Chandler, and he even includes a fake hard-boiled detective in this movie, named Johnny Gossamer. Also this movie is divided into chapters with names from Chandler's books and stories. (And speaking of Johnny, Johnny Knoxville was up for Downey's part, but Downey won the day.) The DVD also includes very funny commentary by Black, Downey and Kilmer and is as good as the movie itself.

Chandler's funny and wry detective Phillip Marlowe has been at the center of so many movies and other private eye mysteries, it can easily be said Marlowe is an all-American classic hero. This week I also watched one of the best early movies of Marlowe, "Murder, My Sweet" with former musical star Dick Powell in excellent form as Marlowe.

His narration, like Downey's, is often hilarious and cynical and fun to hear. As when Marlowe says:


"Okay Marlowe,' I said to myself. 'You're a tough guy. You've been sapped twice, choked, beaten silly with a gun, shot in the arm until you're crazy as a couple of waltzing mice. Now let's see you do something really tough - like putting your pants on."

Finally today - rumor mills are churning out a tale I hope comes to life.

Reports claim that director John Carpenter will get to make a third "Escape" movie starring Kurt Russell as the one and only Snake Plissken. Snake is in many ways a futuristic offspring of Marlowe - a dangerous and cynical anti-hero who is always quotable.

Snake is the hero of "Escape from New York," "Escape from L.A." and if the project gets the green light, the new movie will be called "Escape From Earth."

Next week - a new horror movie on DVD, "The Tooth Fairy." Really. I watch 'em so you don't get "sapped".

Worm Regulators Pursue Connecticut Boy

A 13-year-old boy in Connecticut and his family have been ordered to take down a sign in the yard annnouncing "nite crawlers for sale" to hopeful fisherman thanks to an order from Zoning and Planning officials in the town of Cromwell.

Maybe Ned Lamont can help the kid out.

And maybe the city is right to start regulating such childhood businesses as lemonade stands and worm sales. Young Joey Cadieux was hauling in as much as seven to ten dollars a month, after all. What out-of-control suburban business sprawl might be next? Trading comic books or Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, the dollars could turn to billions in untaxed revenues ... NOT.

Of course, once the press picked up the story, those who ordered the sign be removed and the council who ok'd it are the ones now trying to wriggle off the hook for this idiotic regulatory control.

"In a residential zone, if you want to put up a business and work out of your home you really need a special permit," Zoning and Planning Commissioner Al Diaz told The Hartford Courant in a story published Friday. "You come before the commission and state your case ... and then a decision is made. Chiropractors do that, lawyers do that, doctors do that, and then you're allowed to put up a sign."

However, in an interview with The Associated Press on Friday, Diaz said that other town officials overreacted to his inquiry and that he will ask the board to rescind the order when it meets again in September."

I had no idea doctors and lawyers and chiropractors were hiding their night crawler earnings.

Delays For Movie Reviews, Explosions Follow

Hey!! Where's the Friday movie and DVD reviews??

Such messages filled my email today.

Fear not, faithful readers, it will be here on Saturday rather than today. Non-computer filled days this week made for little time, but Camera Obscura will be here tomorrow.

New movies, new DVDs and all the news the regular media is afraid to report, as always, will be here.

Between now and then, why not a short video of some really stupid people creating explosions with dry ice?

Musical Interlude 2

Hot summer days and hotter nights.

Time to take a journey to Cantaloupe Island by composer and pianist Herbie Hancock, with the legendary Freddie Hubbard on trumpet, Ron Carter on bass, and mega soul from Joe Henderson on sax and Tony Williams making the beat.

'Smart Pig' Down, Profits Up for BP

The breakdown of British Petroleum's pipeline is more than a potential 8 percent loss in domestic oil distribution, it's likely part of a long string of criminal actions.

If they had only used the 'smart pig' the pipeline would likely be in operation.

A rupture in their lines that led to a 200,000 gallon leak this spring, an explosion at a BP refinery, and accounts of actively fabricating repair records and covering up problems are all part of a criminal investigation now underway.

"Tuesday, in an interview with NBC News, a federal official in charge of pipeline safety charged that BP has been doing inadequate maintenance for 15 years.

"Frankly, we would have expected a higher level of care from a company like BP on lines like this," says Thomas J. Barrett with the Department of Transportation's Office of Pipeline Safety. "What disappointed me was their failure to maintain these lines to an accepted industry level of care," Barrett says.

Tuesday night, BP would not comment on the criminal investigation, but insists that its maintenance program was adequate."

Pigging refers to using a machine which travels inside pipelines to detect leaks, weak seals and weak repair welds. BP stopped using these machines about 10 years ago.

But the 'smart pig' wasn't on the job. BP was able to reduce or eliminate maintenance costs, and haul their profits to record levels.

And those who reported the problems years ago to BP? Greg Palast writes:

"In one case, BP'’s CEO of Alaskan operations hired a former CIA expert to break into the home of a whistleblower, Chuck Hamel, who had complained of conditions at the pipe'’s tanker facility. BP tapped his phone calls with a US congressman and ran a surveillance and smear campaign against him. When caught, a US federal judge said BP'’s acts were '“reminiscent of Nazi Germany.'”

This was not an isolated case. Captain James Woodle, once in charge of the pipe'’s Valdez terminus, was blackmailed into resigning the post when he complained of disastrous conditions there. The weapon used on Woodle was a file of faked evidence of marital infidelity. Nice guys, eh?"

Palast has the goods on BP. The new 'smart pig' is at the money trough, hogging like mad.

Let the spin to protect BP begin and let the price gouging at the pump begin!

View From The County Fair

I had the honor of judging the Youth Talent Contest at the annual Jefferson County Fair on Monday night. Normally I have been the emcee of the show, and this year I wanted to change the roles - a change which was ultimately a mistake. Sort of.

I made several critical errors on Monday evening, which began when I left behind the digital camera at home, thus depriving readers here of the visuals of the fairgrounds and the extremely talented performers. So no tempting pictures of roasted corn-on-the-cob, towering stacks of funnel cakes, airbrushed t-shirts of thonged vixens astride motorcycles or reclining on the hoods of muscle cars, and no images of the varieties of foods-on-sticks. My bad. (And just a side note - food on a stick is a marvel of technology and a boon to stickmakers worldwide.)

And while I thought the heat on Monday evening was brutal, the heat in the competition was just as intense. I've emceed the show for many years, and what happens when I get to sit in a judge's seat? The performances were varied, unique and strong and judging among them nearly impossible.

My fellow judges and myself decided who would be Randy, who Paula, who Simon, although I kinda wanted to be a David Hasselhoff a la "America's Got Talent." Fortunately, we simply scored the contestants and did not have to speak up. Yet, by contest's end, each judge spoke about how good all the performers were -- not to just encourage those who did not win, but to emphasize how narrow a margin existed between victory and loss.

For example, one 14 year old boy played an instrumental classical guitar solo, another girl sang Jim Croce's "New York's Not My Home," and then there was the clogging duo. Now stop laughing. I know I just said clogging and I'm sure your image of such is about the same as mine. However these performers appeared wearing vivid sparkly red tops and pleather pants and the music was a pure rave remix of hip-hop and rock. The "clogging" including plain old fashioned tap-dancing and Britney Spears/Janet Jackson dance choreography. (And perhaps is was the heat, but for a minute or two I did flash onto that memory of the dance team from the movie "Donnie Darko", which creeped me out a little bit.)

In years past, there would often be several singers all singing the same momentary country music chart-topper or squads of clogging teams using the exact same bluegrass jam.

Not this year. Nope, not the year I get to be a judge. Powerful singers and musicians, making selections from Billy Joel to Martina McBride to Nelly. Boy, was I glad I didn't wear my overalls and I wore my shoes (that's a county fair joke - just relax).

Back in 1988 was the last time I judged something at the Jeff Co Fair. It was a 'Comedy Contest' and it was not pretty. It took place on a hilly spot on the fairgrounds. And the best joke I heard was about some farmer's confusion between a pig and his wife. Not pretty.

For some years now, the Youth Talent Show has had it's own covered pavilion and lights and bleachers for the crowd.

I'd show you a picture, but ... I can give you a link to the official web site for the fair, which goes thru Friday and you can enjoy this shot of a super-amped lawn tractor below.


And here is a video for the tractor pull competition.

But the real battle was among some truly talented teens.

Crazy Is More Than A Song

This will certainly blend the most pessimistic and the one at the other end -- what was it? Oh yeah. Optimism. A recent commenter here left the message that optimism and trust were the hallmarks of ignorance.

A variety of news reports today from around the world will certainly challenge the best and the worst, and I readily admit I'm starting to shy away from all the news, because seeing idiotic talking-heads providing fifteen minutes of some American Morning program to the question "Is our butts getting bigger or is bigger butts just better?" gives me the same headache that reports from the frontlines of a half-dozen battlefields do.

Meanwhile, I have read the all-out horror stories emerging in the hearings to determine if court-martials are to be held for a group of soldiers accused of raping and killing an Iraqi girl and her family. It is as grim a story as I've heard.

Today also brought in a report from NPR about "religious assassinations" in Iraq because the visibility of female sheep butts can bring death to a shepherd, or that the arrangements of vegetables in a market stand can also bring death. You can here that report here.

In Afghanistan, the long-standing cabinet-level office of Department of the Promotion of Virtue and the Discouragement of Vice (yes, that's the real office title) is maybe not as bad as it used to be. Maybe. That story is here. "No reason to be frightened," say officials, but I would recommend some fearfulness and perhaps moving to a more sane country.

I really need to stop being surprised that much of what appears in print and on TV is a variant of two topics, humanity's favorite pastimes, Death and Sex. (Or chess-playing under the Taliban regime.)

Wouldn't a sane person really really have to have the most troubling doubts about religious policing of Islam? Perhaps being immersed from birth onward in a spiral of madness makes sanity a fantasy only the truly deranged can imagine. Like the late, great Hunter S. Thompson said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

It is frustrating as a bloggin' guy, as I was just about to post a video for this Monday, from a super-catchy tune that gets my vote for Best Song of the Summer. Even the music video for it is both original and layered and still matched the thematics of the lyrics with the faces of the band. And I love this band's name, too - Gnarls Barkley. I'm not the only one who thinks this tune is worthy of fame in 2006.

It has the appeal of an old Marvin Gaye or Bobby Womack tune, but it's an MTV hit too.

"Crazy" is the song. And I guess that for better or worse, Crazy is the theme of 2006.

"Snakes On A ...." Hey! That's A Theology!

via Hutchmo at NiT

Sunday Sermonette

I think this particular patch of ruminations began because I was out this morning barefooted in the yard. Nothing quite like that feeling of green grass and the warming surface of this spinning planet between your toes. As I was walking the dog around the yard, always mindful of the doggie landmines of previous days, it is a mostly safe way to travel and my thoughts got lost on this Sunday morning about ... well, about a lot of things.

I start to thinking - always an act with the most curious effects - about how in my childhood, shoeless was the preferred mode of dress. And not just in the yard, but everywhere - through weed-thick trails between the houses, riding a bicycle, running across superhot sidewalks and asphalt. All tenderfooted adult now, I make careful steps, grateful that the walnuts already on the ground haven't crumbled into shrapnel.

I guess back in the day, my feet had the toughness of Tom Sawyer's ego. I do remember once hopping a ride on the back of a friend's bike, hauling off down some jungled dirt trail, and my right ankle dipped into the spokes of the rear wheel and chipped the skin away at my heel with some slightly bloody results. And yes, while it hurt, ultimately, I did not care.

In today's now a modern-go-go world, my parent could have, in response to the tattered ankle, started a national campaign for a federal effort to enforce the wearing of shoes for all children, a No Shoe Left Behind Act, which would be trumpeted as yet another way the Nanny Government is Making The World A Safer Place.

Once the walk was done I sat on the porch, sipping coffee, and the wheels continued to whirl in my head in that way they have - semi-philosophical world-gazing. I began to ponder on various news stories and blogging editorials I had read earlier in the day. "Sure seems to be a troubled old world today," I thought. "Warring and killing and bombing. All the hoopla over the recent elections, which no one really seems to care much about outside a small circle of politics groupies. Maybe I should do like a lot of folk today and go buy something since there is a tax holiday!"

A tax-free day is just a tiny decrease, really. Maybe we should consider a different kind of tax-holiday, one that occurs on the weekend after an election. And pricing decreases would be tacked to the percent of people who vote -- a 25% turnout means prices would fall one weekend by that amount, and maybe that would increase the turnout. Would enough people realize a 60 or 75 percent attendance at the polls could then mean a likewise discount?

As I sat and pondered on that fantasy, I was watching various insects scurry and fly about on their enigmatic tasks. The non-individualized actions all serve a hive or colony mind. Sadly, I see to much of that in humans too. There is literally no talk among the pundits and bloggers about the "best person to be elected." Today it is all My National Party, Right or Wrong.

Me feeble (and perhaps already heat and humidity filled) brain jumped to another thought. This relentless warfare in countries throughout the Middle East. Can there be any doubt that many wannabe tyrants are fueling raging fires with religious fervor? And that too many people in this world, and not just in the mideast, deeply feel their religious and spiritual values are so compelling that anyone whose views are different must be chased down and killed wherever they may seek refuge?

Praise Your Creator and Pass the Ammo. Yeesh.

And I am amazed at how our versatile language and rubber-limbed P.R. acrobats put the prettiest and most meaningless clothes on ancient behaviors. Today we have "sectarian violence," which used to be called "civil war" or just "anarchy." Another favorite is "collateral damage" instead of "dead civilians and bombed-out buildings." And the creepy presence of a world imagined by George Orwell seems omnipresent: "Security" means "I'm terrified of everything and don't feel safe," or that "Liberty" means "No amount of secrecy is too much."

I was talking to my 80-plus year old mom, who is Baptist down to the bone, and she confessed she had actually been making prayers of late for the Creator to infest the minds of warmakers and profiteers with endless nightmares of the horrors they are committing. She's obviously, like many, frustrated and disgusted by humanity's destruction at the will of so few.

I found myself offering her some optimisim, saying that perhaps there were still more Good People alive than Bad People, or else we would all be on the knife-edge of Death itself. But don't ask me any percentages.

A friend today emailed me this story - some kind folk have been seeking to assist this dolphin they saw off Sarasota, Florida, who had a Speedo wrapped around it's body which was slowly killing it. They did capture the critter and got the deadly garment removed. I'm fairly sure that in the long-distant past there was seldom a chance that Thag's or Ulu's thatch-woven thong would slip off only to kill the ocean-going life.

The story also noted that this dolphin had been "caught in a life-threatening extra large Speedo bathing suit".

Now I am not a member of the haute-couture, but I can tell you this - if yer Speedo size is "extra-large", do all of humanity and aquatic-kind a favor and don't wear it. It's time fer some Bermuda Shorts, bub.

Anyway, there on my porch, pondering imponderables, I did notice something that made me smile.

A car cruised slowly down the street in front of the house and a dog was sticking it's head out of the passenger window, a gaping grin and flying tounge giving expression to some doggie satisfaction. Now I personally hate that whole "is the glass half-full or half-empty" psycho-babble argument. The dog I was seeing offers a better way to frame the question.

Is that dog an example of Pure Optimisim and Complete Trust or of Blind Ignorance?

Camera Obscura - A Supervillain Arrives, Serenity Survives

I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit it. I know I have that reek of fanboy geek already when it comes to movies and TV based on comic books, then there's the devotion to the horror genre.

Despite the goofiness of the admission - here it is as simple as I can put it. I am really enjoying the super-silliness of the "Who Wants To Be A Superhero" show on the Sci-Fi Channel from Stan Lee's production company, Pow! Last week, I admitted the fun to be had in hearing Stan Lee say things like "Well done, Monkey Woman."

I tuned in Thursday for the second episode and blast it all if Monkey Woman didn't wow Stan and me with her refusal to allow to attack dogs to stop her from crossing some backyard and reaching the back door as part of the evening's competition. Wearing one of those protective suits dog trainers wear, the critters hauled her to the ground in seconds flat. But for the next ten minutes - yes, T-E-N, ten minutes - she clawed, crawled, inched and scooted her way to complete the goal. Most of the other wannabe superhero types either made it across in a minute's time or caved in to the dog attacks in mere seconds.

That li'l Monkey Woman fought so hard I got exhausted watching it.

Now that's not enough, however, to keep me as a viewer for the show. But at the very end, Stan the Man threw in a new element which excited my childish heart. The brutish "Iron Enforcer", whose B.O. was a topic of discussion among other contestants, and who had already said he wanted to be a superhero 'cause he wanted to kill, kill, kill finally got the boot off the show. But not really.

As the show ended, Stan appeared via a hidden TV screen and said, "Hey! How about you join me in a new plan! Let's make you a super-villain to challenge the other contestants!" Makeover experts zipped him into a waiting van and he emerges in a mean looking costume and is dubbed by Stan as "The Dark Enforcer!"

So yeah, I'll tune in for the next episode. And yeah, I am a total doofus.

(Oh and by the way - Heath Ledger is going to play The Joker?? Holy BrokeBatman!)
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Two movies opening today are getting rave reviews, especially the thriller "The Descent," the newest film from the maker of the cult favorite "Dog Soldiers." That movie was a nifty revision of the werewolf myth as a squad of commandos encounter the hairy monsters in the Scottish Highlands. And overall, it was quite scary and a much better than expected movie. Both "Descent", or Tough Chicks In A Cave, and Will Ferrell's "Talladega Nights" are getting high marks all around.
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Since I've already invoked that Fanboy Presence, the true believers of the universe created by Joss Whedon in the TV series "Firefly" and the excellent movie follow-up "Serenity" should be eager to view a documentary on just how powerful the fan-force was in getting that movie made.

"Done The Impossible" is that documentary and is now out on DVD and snippets are available online.

Maybe sooner than later, the Suits will greenlight a sequel to "Serenity."
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If John Williams can provide the theme music for NBC's Nightly News, then I suppose CBS had no choice but to seek the composer James Horner to craft a new tune for the arrival of Katie Couric for her evening newscast. Oh, the drama! The starpower! And maybe even some time for news reporting too!

The link to the story above also reveals that US soldiers in Iraq are making use of YouTube to share the daily events in Iraq. Definitely worth a look.

UPDATE: I just noticed that a movie called "Kibakichi" is on ShowtimeExtreme tonight. The IMDB page for the movie says things like "werewolf samurai in a village of monsters who feed on human flesh". Wow. That sounds really, really awful so I read a little more about it. One reviewer on the IMDB says: "What is important is the dubbed version. Its simply beautiful. Lip sinked by a blind man, scripted by an inbred and performed, by the sound of it, by a motley band of monkeys, castratoes and men who have had all trace of emotion removed from them."

Morristown Councilman Wins 1st District Primary

Morristown City Councilman Rick Trent won the Democrat Primary in the 1st District with a total of 40% of the votes, so congratulations are in order. It did take a bit of searching through several web sites to locate and verify the win. On the GOP side, it was a very close race among a host of candidates, with totals now showing David Davis with 16,570 and Richard Venable with 16,049.

As I've said before, it will be an all uphill battle to win over the Congressional seat from the Republican party, which has held the seat since somewhere near the time of Noah.

Computer woes delayed voting results in this county until around 1 a.m. and apparently there were computer woes statewide as well. Was it adjusting to a new system and a very very long ballot?

Several Hamblen County races were very close too, adding to the overall nervousness - Commissioner Bobby Reinhardt (D) was unseated by challenger Reece Sexton by two votes, 158 to 160, incumbent Edwin Osborne (D) lost to Paul LeBel (R) 224 to 242. LeBel is also business partner to the Morristown city Mayor, Gary Johnson.

The contentious battle in the GOP Primary for US Senate was decided by East TN voters, with Chattanoogan Bob Corker taking the win.

As soon as I can verify the voter turnout totals for the county, I'll add that info here.

UPDATE: Trent's official website is here, with views offered on a variety of issues.

UPDATE II: Hamblen election officials estimate turnout for Thursday's primary was about 30-32 percent of registered voters. And a fine example of each vote being important - one commission seat was decided by only two votes!

Thursday Linkfest

Enterprising writer Rex L Camino has devised a sort of literary equivalent of "sampling". He has devised a way to take entries from Wikipedia articles on "oddly named animals and assorted insects" and rewritten them as entries on "semi-obscure" television personalities.

An example provided is for Joyce Dewitt from "Three's Company" inserted in the description for the Wandering Albatross. Here's a taste of Rex-revisionism:

"She feeds on squid, small fish and on animal refuse that floats on the sea, eating to such excess at times that she is unable to fly and rests helplessly on the water.

She lays one egg: it is white, with a few spots, and is about 4 inches long. At breeding time she occupies loose colonies on isolated island groups in the Southern Ocean, such as Crozet Islands, South Georgia, Marion Island, Prince Edward Island, Kerguelen and Macquarie Island."

If you want, you can WikiRead the albatross entry here. And remember -- Vote Rex as Write-In Candidate for Senator!!!!
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Like many TV viewers, the advertisement screaming at you "Head On!!! Apply Directly to you forehead!!" is nearly inescapable and may well incur migraines. On the post and comments here from KnoxViews, I learned the chief ingredient of this never-explained item is ... wax.
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Thanks to Tits McGee, who showed me the way, a site called Mad Vortex takes pics and old advertisements and provides captions that are deeply, satisfyingly entertaining. In one picture of some darling child standing by a large kitchen sink, the caption reads: "As Ginny Rae dumped the arsenic into the village water supply, she suppressed a tiny giggle." Ah, that Ginny!!
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Isn't it time YOU were in command and made the Pipe Cleaner Man dance to your tune?
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Have you ever seen that ever-changing signboard in Times Square, first installed in 1989, which shows the dollar amount of the national debt? It will run out of digits in 2007. This and other fun facts here.