Friday, December 21, 2007

Camera Obscura - Dark Knight and Hellboy Trailers; Letter to Hollywood;

Christmas 2007 is almost here, but movie fans have some nifty extras this weekend which point to high expectations for Summer 2008. First, the newest Batman movie, "The Dark Knight" finally has a preview clip that looks pretty awesome, which you can watch by clicking here. Heath Ledger's turn as the Joker has had the internet buzzing all year long and the preview shows he may steal the show next summer.

Another comic book movie for 2008 is also a sequel - "Hellboy 2". Director Guillermo del Toro has again captured the look and feel of Mike Mignola's comic. The preview is below:

del Toro and actor Ron Perlman are also working on a big screen version of H.P. Lovecraft's "At The Mountains of Madness" to be released in 2010.

An open letter to television producers:


American network television will die and roll into a grave made of stupid game shows if the current writer's strike continues for much longer. Some of you welcome such an event, as such shows have been gaining control of the airwaves in recent years.

To halt this slide into mediocre and bland programming, I urge you to do the following:

Hire me to write for your shows.

I'm willing to write for a mere $10,000 for each half-hour sitcom and $20,000 for an hour-long drama. No health care benefits, no residuals, no extra fees. This is a straight-up cash for scripts deal here.

It isn't that I am anti-union. But at this point in my life, I doubt I will ever be a member of the WGA and I could really use the money. I have watched TV for much of my life and am confident I can create material for any genre you wish. I know I cannot write for every show currently on the air, but I can likely find at least half a dozen other writers who will work for the same deal and we'll all make television history together.

Heck, we've all had ideas that Hollywood ended up taking.

For a mere $50,000 I will write a pilot movie for a series. Here's a sample of a show which would attract huge audiences: "The Country Doctor Detective" -- a brilliant young surgeon from Manhattan is forced to move to the Appalachian Mountain region to escape the crime family he testified against in court, and soon learns that he has a knack for using forensic science to solve crimes. Soon, with the help of humorous country characters and sidekicks, he starts a detective agency staffed with tough but lovable female bounty hunters while bringing quality healthcare to impoverished rural America. (Two spinoffs are already here - the clueless crime family trying to blend into the Southern culture and the tough but lovable female bounty hunters show.)

Something for younger viewers? How about "Game Over" -- a rag-tag group of young teens decide to leave their dysfunctional families behind and travel the world competing in videogame contests, earning big bucks and exploring the wacky gaming and sci-fi/fantasy/comic book convention world and when they aren't gaming, they play a battle of wits and challenges with each other as they learn about life, romance, rock music and keepin' it real.

I have more. (And yeah, if ANYTHING like the two shows mentioned above appear on TV or movies, I will sue you to death.)

Like I said, this is a strictly cash for scripts deal, and I am sure you will find that my friends and I can fill hours of programming with the same quality currently available.

I await your calls and emails.


  1. OK, I am forwarding your email to everyone I know. I am also sending it to the LA Times, Variety, and the Hollywood Reporter.

    One of 2 things will happen -

    1) You will be writing me a check for 10% of the suitcase full of money that you'll be getting for writing all those scripts.

    2) I'll be visiting you in the hospital where you will be convalescing after being bludgeoned by 100 picket signs.

  2. mucho thanko, Kelvis. and 10% be fine.

    should i in fact be bludgeoned, at least it would be by writers ... then they would really be 'striking' writers, HAHAHAHAHA!!

  3. I would totally watch the doctor show - but I'm not sure about the lovable bounty hunters.