The Return of Ted Haggard & Other News

Poor troubled quasi-evangelist Ted Haggard says he is so poor that he need you to give him money each month for the next two years, and then he'll be financially fine.

Despite receiving a settlement salary this year of $138,000 and owning a house worth $715,000, he says he needs your checks and cash for the next two years - which he says will bring you rewards in Heaven - as he goes to school to learn to be a counselor for a facility which has a dubious reputation.

"[The families With A Mission in] Colorado Springs mailing address is the same one to which Haggard is asking people to send donations. However, Secretary of State records show that Families With a Mission was administratively dissolved earlier this year, on Feb. 23. And the man who is listed as the president of Families With a Mission, Paul Gerard Huberty, appears to be the same Paul Huberty who was convicted in 1996 of having sex with a 17-year old girl while he was a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force stationed in Germany, and who later registered as a sex offender in Hawaii. The organization Family Watchdog, which tracks sex offenders, currently lists Huberty at the same Monument address that was the principal address of Families With a Mission."

The report from Colorado Confidential is here.

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Even though some strippers at Nashville's Deja Vu club were faking their erotic interests (with some possibly fake body enhancements) for a customer, it turns out he was faking them out too - with home-made $100 bills.

Smyrna resident Damon Armagost found out the Secret Service will investigate fake bills. Erotic fakery is no crime, however. It may be an art form.

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Forget changing with the times -- Time itself is being changed in Venezuela, which is also no longer the actual name of the nation, it's now the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. And now they are moving their clocks forward by half an hour by command of Hugo Chavez.

He has also announced a plan to build a group of artificial island-cities to claim sections of the Caribbean as his own.

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Tired of waiting for new episodes of the intermittent TV show appropriately called "Lost"??

Thanks to Todd McFarlane and his company of creators, a new series of "action figures" (NOT dolls, dammit) is on the way to a store near you. You can force them to act out your vision of the TV show.

Also available - The Hatch Play-Set. You get to decide what they do now! Make them build a raft and just go home!!