Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Dear American Idol -- Please Go Away

An Open Letter .....

Dear American Idol:

Please go away. You are a blight on music itself.

I've endured talk about you for years now, and you are not exciting or entertaining and you wouldn't know what musical talent was if it bit you in the ass. You are an over-glorified night of sing-alongs and it's been a night in hell, enternal and painful.

Three judges whose musical knowledge and experience combined is hardly a footnote in musical history. There's Paula, the dancer who apparently must drink (or drug) herself into near incoherence to participate in the show. There's Simon, whose daddy got him a job at EMI, which he lost, who then founded two recording labels which went bankrupt, then made money recording novelty songs by the Power Rangers and whose only skill is The Obvious Insult. And I have no idea who Randy is.

Those who appear on your show climb up on the talents of others -- songwriters, singers, musicians - who often worked thankless years and in obscurity to develop their talents. Like scavengers, these contestants, enabled by the talentless producers of this show, pick over the achievements of others with greed as the mark of their nature.

You glorify mediocrity as it reaches for the abilities of other far more talented people, with only the aim of theft.

As for the people who actually watch this middle-school popularity contest -- you would be far more rewarded for actually going out in your own communities to see and hear actual musicians, who write their music, play instruments, and perform for the joy of music and the hope of enough money to cover the cost of their efforts. They are in every community and they strive mightily to create something of worth while you endorse and celebrate nothing.

I blame the show and those who faithfully engage in it's dumbed-down exercise in lip-synching for eroding the arts and obscuring the talents of thousands of others. Not only is the world of music maligned and damaged by your efforts, this program has the entertainment value of watching paint dry. (If the paint were stolen from others.)

I urge the world to boycott you.


  1. Anonymous10:32 AM

    God, that needed to be said.
    You will still have to deal with the public's appetite for seeing people humiliated on national television.

  2. Anonymous11:01 AM


  3. Anonymous11:35 AM

    Thank you sir.

  4. Yep.

    And take the casting call for "Grease" with you.

  5. Anonymous12:56 PM

    While we're dreaming...can we have them take David Caruso, Flava Flav, Ryan Seacrest... God, there are too many to name!

    Great post.

  6. Anonymous6:29 PM

    What oxymoron, james, at, andy and carpenterjd said (that goes double for David Caruso, carp!). I've never watched AI, but it still pisses me off because it's like a virus -- between the promotions, commercials, knockoffs, spinoffs and now games (I'm pretty sure I saw a commercial for some kind of {{shudder}} AI/karaoke video game last night), it's unavoidable.

  7. Anonymous3:55 AM

    I'm totally with ya, man. The fact that AI is a juggernaut to be programmed against is ludicrous.
    But, as an inveterate Devil's Advocate, how do you explain AI's popularity (& to this day, to me, AI means "Artificial Intelligence"), &, what "reality shows" do you find entertaining, if any.

  8. Anonymous8:05 AM

    i will happily join said boycott of AI. Does the fact that i don't watch it anyway negate my boycotting though?
    And way to give props to local musicians, as the ones i know certainly deserve it.

  9. Anonymous9:00 AM

    Thank you. That needed to be said.