Smell Those Trees or A "Twin Peaks" Guide

It was a marvelous moment, a rare event embedded in memory. I had received a review copy of the pilot episode of "Twin Peaks" in early 1990. Already a fan of filmmaker David Lynch, I was greatly skeptical he would make anyting worthwhile just for television How very wrong I was.

Within minutes of starting the tape, I was ushered into a neo-gothic surreal television mystery, with ghostly music and bizarre language. It was the start of a cultural milestone. As many reviewers later said, the character of Laura Palmer was an instant American icon because she arrived dead to TV screens, and the mythmaking of why and how and who was a central focus of the show.

I was in a rather feverish state of mind as I carefully took that videotape to a friend's house to make sure this program was as exceptional as I thought. We watched, called over more friends, and watched it again. Like millions of other TV watchers, we gathered in groups to watch every episode and debate every oddity of language and image. And the women, too, we talked a lot about them. Shelly and Audrey and Donna.

I still have that screener video. Wouldn't part with it for anything.

Today, via MetaFilter, I found a website that offers an episode guide that so far, seems very well researched and has fascinating commentary. Here's a sample:

"But the legacy remains, more striking with each year that passes. The immediate effect was very noticeable—for a brief period, surrealism and experimentalism were suddenly acceptable on American television. Shows like Eerie, Indiana and Wild Palms (both overseen by film directors, Joe Dante and Oliver Stone respectively) attempted to cash in on the craze for all things weird, with varying degrees of success. The show that scooped up most of Twin Peaks’ hungry fans must have been The X-Files, shoehorning familiar Peaks-inspired weirdo FBI agent antics into a more straightforward Sci-Fi serial format to enormous popular acclaim. In recent years the genre-blending aspect of Twin Peaks has been felt time and again, in shows such as Chicago Hope (hospital drama/soap/comedy), Firefly (western/Sci-Fi) and perhaps most notably Lost (mystery/thriller/Sci-Fi/etc.)."

Link to it here. (Note: It is worth remarking that David Duchovny, star of X-Files, was first featured as a cross-dressing FBI agent in Peaks.)

Smell those trees. Have some coffee and a slice of cherry pie. Don't go into the woods. Leo needs new shoes. Break the code, solve the crime. "Laura ... Laura!"

Camera Obscura - District B-13, Aeon Flux and More

Yay Friday! Time for movie news, reviews, DVDs, some hot summer movies just ahead and a few thoughts on the week's entertainment news. This includes a new summer action film based on "Escape From New York" and a kind of street-gymnastic-fu craze that boasts worldwide membership, even here in Tennessee, but more on that in a moment. Let's start with the story of li'l Katie Couric and her jump to the Big Show.

Katie Couric says she's the best, mostest hard-nosed journalist going, and is vowing to end what she called the "pretentious era" in TV news. I have no idea what that comment - or several of the other comments she made to CBS execs, really means. One function she has filled for years is to talk extensively without really saying anything.

She's no Edward R. Murrow and she's no journalist - for instance, the late, great Peter Jennings worked his way from field reporter to bureau chief to anchor, not from Morning Face to Evening Face. We are all better off searching for news on our own. And she might consider the words Mr. Murrow offered to news directors in 1958:

"It is not necessary to remind you that the fact that your voice is amplified to the degree where it reaches from one end of the country to the other does not confer upon you greater wisdom or understanding than you possessed when your voice reached only from one end of the bar to the other."

Last week, I mentioned that there wasn't much success at the screening for "Southland Tales," and new reports indicate a major re-edit for the movie is on the way so it can find a U.S. distributor. Which also means you'll have to wait for the DVD to see the original cut.

For summer viewing fun, a reader notes his most-anticipated movie is the "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel. Enjoy a lengthy preview here. Personally, I am looking forward to the 3rd movie, which was shot simultaneously with part 2, which will feature Chow Yun Fat. Fat is my hero.

Opening today (though not anywhere locally I could find) is the movie "District B-13," which has captured outstanding reviews. It's a sort-of "Escape From New York" story. Set in the near future, Paris has become so ridden with riots and crime (as it actually has been) that the government was walled in several communities and ghettos, including B-13. A cop and a criminal join forces in typical buddy movie fashion and the action in this Luc Besson-produced adventure takes the action of "Transporter" and endless king-fu features and ramps up the intensity several notches, thanks to a recent urban sport called Parkour. Oh, and the presence of nuclear weapons in the ghetto.

The website for the movie has tons of previews and explanations. Parkour-participant David Belle stars in the movie. Parkour is a sport of sorts, where people sort of jump, dance, bounce, fly, leap, in a freestyle extreme sport kind of way. Tennesseans from Bristol to Knoxville to Monterey to Memphis have joined in the action, according to this website.

I also finally watched the movie "Aeon Flux", based on the cartoon series created by Peter Chung and aired on MTV. An attempt to film this bizarre bio-nano-weirdo hi-tech future is an enormous chore and the results are only average. Charlize Theron stars as the semi-naked assassin and she does well as semi-naked assassins go. The movie's design work and effects are excellent, the writing is not so excellent. But it does compete well in the semi-naked babe sci-fi movie genre (see also "Barbarella" or "Fifth Element" or "Terminator:3" or "Danger: Diabolik")

Afraid of catching a true turkey of a movie this summer? Check out The Movie Binge, where a group of bloggers has vowed to watch and review 85 major releases over the summer. Might save some time and dollars for you.

I also found a good collection of movie scripts online, including David Lynch movies, Kubrick, Raimi, Tarantino, teen comedies and modern classics and many more. C'mon, aren't you tired of always quoting "Caddyshack"? There's a world of movie quotes ready for you!

On Haditha

Not wanting to marginalize or sensationalize the reports from the press concerning the actions of the military in November of last year in Haditha, Iraq, there are a few thoughts I'll offer about the reality of warfare.

The operations in Iraq are not typical military confrontations. It's military versus guerilla or insurgents or militias. The battlefields are streets and houses and neighborhoods. The sad truth of a house to house battle means non-combatants are likely to be killed.

There are ridiculous assertions that the insurgency is in it's last throes, that the media only reports negative stories, and even that this is anything except a continuation of military actions begun in the 1990s.

Good or bad, our troops are engaged in deadly missions each hour. The political strife increases and decreases one day to the next. Recently appointed Iraqi Ambassador Samir Sumaydi knows too well the situation is chaotic at best:

"The way it was reported to me, by word of mouth, seemed incredible," he said at the U.S. Institute of Peace in his first public appearance after being sworn in as ambassador. At the time, he did not have any other evidence and decided that the rumors might have been an exaggeration.

Haditha, he knew, was a chaotic town, virtually run by bands of insurgents. "There were no police," he said, "and, effectively, no Iraqi government." Sunni insurgents were terrorizing the population, even staging public executions of people suspected of opposing them. Residents, he said, were being "squeezed" between the insurgents on one side and, on the other, U.S. soldiers, who were caught up in frequent clashes with the heavily armed rebels. Sometimes, civilians would get caught up in these skirmishes.

Then came a report in Time magazine that as many as 24 civilians may have been deliberately gunned down by U.S. marines during an operation in November. The key piece of evidence was a videotape made by an Iraqi journalism student that shows the apparent civilian victims riddled with gunshot wounds, which contradicts the early accounts by marines stationed in Haditha that the residents were killed by a bomb. U.S. military officials have now launched an investigation into the alleged Haditha massacre, and Bush publicly vowed to punish anybody found to be responsible for killing civilians. Sumaydi says he will await the findings of the U.S. investigation. He has also requested a second inquiry by the U.S. military on the death of his cousin.

At the same time, Sumaydi has a hard-earned appreciation of the difficult challenges faced by the U.S. military. As a former interior minister, he tried to battle both Sunni insurgents as well as shady Shiite militias, who operated both inside and outside the Interior Ministry. He also knows that the militia problem has not gone away.

Just two days ago, another cousin of his was kidnapped in Baghdad from the small supermarket that he owns."

"Core values" training for US troops may help provide some measure of understanding as to how to cope with a house-to-house insurgency battle, but the simple fact remains that Iraq, all of it, is a battlefield and there is no safety for residents or troops.

If the deaths in the Haditha community were unprovoked, it will encourage those opposed to US involvement and erode political support around the world and around our own nation.

A License To Have Kids?

A reader for yesterday's post offered these thoughts for consideration:

"Maybe couples shouldn't start a family until they have the resources (however they want to define that)to care for that family themselves. If that means somebody has to stay home, so be it. I'm all for requiring a license to breed. Too many people are having too many kids without a thought of the consequences."

I have multiple responses and perhaps you do too, feel free to add them.

First, if prospective parents had to wait for the Most Perfect Time to have kids, there would certainly be fewer - however how often in the course of living do any of us have the luxury of realizing Most Perfect Moments? Living is an imperfect thing, and often we don't realize our best moments until they have passed. In short, living is all about chances and risk. We are all faced with the unknown from birth til death, and I generally think we cannot ever hope to alter that.

Second, I dread the idea of having to have a license for having children. Are their couples and/or singles who should not have children? Most likely. Yet, a far worse notion is some government or quasi-government agency determining the requirements needed to have children. Go ahead and call me a Darwinian, but sometimes our sheer numbers, increased wisely or unwisely, often offer our best chances for continuation. While any of us can question the wisdom of some who decide to have or not have children, I put far more faith in the individual decision than those made by some appointed committee on procreation.

I do understand a desire to provide some kind of "quality control" over emerging li'l humans - but again, I have far more trust in Nature than in government or rule-by-committee. Imagine the horrors of those who live in China, where both the number and the sex of a child has been given a pre-determined government status.

On a side note, the longer we follow a national ignorance regarding sexuality, pregnancy, STDs, and a foolish concept of "abstinence", the longer we endanger our current and future generations. It's as if we fear the result of an informed and educated population, while I can only see the many benefits of a less repressed and more informed and personally responsible attitude.

It's something I've mentioned before - we are Free to choose are actions, but that does not mean we are free from consequences.

The agenda of the group mentioned yesterday includes some insidious claims - significantly, that most often parents "choose" to both work. In the reality of our economic systems, it is nearly impossible for a single income to provide all the needs of a three or more member family. If a couple has that ability - marvelous! As a rule, however, most couples and individuals struggle mightily to make enough to provide for themselves.

Also, I firmly believe that parents and educators, not administrators, need to be far more involved in creating educational systems in their communities. Endless testing is not a solution - the realization that education is a process and not a means to a career is far more vital.

For all the yearnings of various lobbying cultural warriors, abandoning our own abilities to reach a positive, self-actualized community of individuals is a prescription for tyranny and horror.

Is it hard to live with the bad decisions others might make? Yes. Are parents sometimes the worst enemy of the child? Yes. But attempting to control or constrain nature is a path to far worse outcomes.

That's my two cents. How about yours?

Preschool Liberation Army?

Stop the War on Toddlers is a cry from kids to voters, demanding an end to Weapons of Mass Instruction, citing studies that show enforced governmental preschool programs do far more harm to kids than good.

Yes, in the state that takes any and all issues to the ballot box via referendum, that wacky California, a call for a preschool boycott and a no vote on Proposition 92 - Preschool For All Act has been proclaimed.

A group called Tykes on Trikes has issued a Manifesto and is urging the boycott. I might be more convinced if I could find a preschooler who could spell "manifesto" or if teen students were better able to find Louisiana or Iraq on a map.

The Manifesto says:

"Government propaganda, disseminated through the media, insists that society commit to developing future workforces for the global economy as well as thwart crime and social deviance by confining young children in preschools. We have been brainwashed to believe that in order to protect adult interests, we must deny children their right to childhood.

In the name of education and social reform, young children are now detained in weapons of mass instruction called preschools."

Further, the group makes these demands:

" -- Immediate withdrawal of children ages 0-5 from government daycare and preschool facilities and closure of all government preschool and daycare detention centers.

-- The repeal of all preschool legislation currently enacted or in committee in federal and state governments

-- Disarmament and destruction of all weapons of mass instruction known as government preschools and discontinuing government subsidies of private preschool facilities that are required to brainwash children via state sanctioned curriculum standards and testing delivered by state-credentialed agents (i.e., teachers).

-- Abolishing Head Start and other government universal preschool programs. Forty years ago Head Start was instituted to assist disadvantaged children. It has yet to be shown that it helped the 40 million children it claims to have helped at a cost of 50 billion dollars. Instead, Head Start incorrectly led to the cultural misconception that "institutional programs" were the key to early childhood education. As a result, thousands of preschoolers have spent the most formative years of their lives confined in institutions; scores of innocent children ages 0-5 spent years imprisoned on false assumptions about how children learn; childhoods were smashed to pieces; parental rights usurped; entitlement thinking was reinforced; and families torn apart. This infliction of misery has not improved society. It has caused irreparable damage."

You can learn more via the many links offered on this press release page.

Or you may just want to celebrate the fact you and your kids don't live in California. Or you may want to join the movement. Or maybe this movement will help you get started on a science fiction story or the next Fox/MTV/WB pre-teen soap opera.

Supreme Court Backs Crooked Officials

The new Bush appointees to the Supreme Court reversed the stand previously upheld by the majority including Justice O'Connor when it comes to government employees reporting fraud, waste, abuse or other violations and removes protections offered the rest of the nation via the First Ammendment.

The 5-4 opinion issued Monday is clear notice to those who might have reported problems - if you do, you have no rights to protection by law. This decision protects crooked officials and their behavior and endangers the public good and the public trust.

In dissenting statements, Justice Stevens wrote:

"The proper answer to the question `whether the First Amendment protects a government employee from discipline based on speech made pursuant to the employee's official duties,' is `Sometimes,' not `Never.' Of course a supervisor may take corrective action when such speech is `inflammatory or misguided.' But what if it is just unwelcome speech because it reveals facts that the supervisor would rather not have anyone else discover?"

Also, Justice Souter wrote:

"This significant, albeit qualified, protection of public employees who irritate the government is understood to flow from the First Amendment, in part, because a government paycheck does nothing to eliminate the value to an individual of speaking on public matters, and there is no good reason for categorically discounting a speaker's interest in commenting on a matter of public concern just because the government employs him. Still, the First Amendment safeguard rests on something more, being the value to the public of receiving the opinions and information that a public employee may disclose."

From Justice Breyer's dissent:

"The speech of vast numbers of public employees deals with wrongdoing, health, safety, and honesty; for example, police officers, firefighters, environmental protection agents, building inspectors, hospital workers, bank regulators, and so on. Indeed, this categorization could encompass speech by an employee performing almost any public function, except perhaps setting electricity rates."

A Web Walkabout

So many oddities and curiosities abound across the internet, many of which defy explanation, such as the first entry -- using the crucifixtion to encourage voters in a bid to combat a proposal to allow for sales of alcohol. (via Joshua Blankenship)

The next entry takes us to Japan to view a new craze, hikaru dorodango I really do not understand how it can be possible to make a shiny mud ball. Then again, it was mostly pity that prompted my geology professor to give me a passing grade.

Some sad news - last Saturday one of the great artists and animators of the last 50 years passed away, Alex Toth. Toth created Space Ghost, Josie and the Pussycats, took the TV show Zorro to the comics and helped create characters for shows like Jonny Quest and many other Hannah-Barbera cartoons in the 1960s. He worked in just about every genre - westerns, romance, adaptions, superheroes, mystery and horror, and much more.

Samples of his style are featured on his web site.

I've noticed some discussions of late about the federal government's Video News Releases programs, often showing up on a local newscast unidentified as a government-created news release. Despite the FCC's memo from April of this year, incidents continue to occur.

Between 2003 and 2005 the Bush administration has spent $1.3 billion on "pre-packaged news."
And, uh ... hint for the DC cabal ... it's not working.

Million Dollar Budget Errors, Growing Deficits

A very real concern for local taxpayers is being mostly ignored and rising costs of operations at almost every level of Hamblen County government indicates a major tax increase is on the way.

One county commissioner has been actively trying to correct the problems in accounting and budget records, literally catching million dollar mistakes, though Commissioner Linda Noe is often dismissed by others on the commission and on county government as some sort of loose cannon. It's obvious however that her efforts continue uncover serious problems.

Commissioner Noe's blog has been focused of late on what she calls a "perfect tax storm" and here are some excerpts:

"Our first budget meeting on May 16 got us off to an odd start as we looked at the county debt budget for next year. About midway through the discussion, I pointed out that there was a $1,000,000 error (yes, that's one million dollars) in the debt payment budget we had just been given for the 06-07 budget year.

The budget we had been given showed that our debt payments would be a little over $1,300,000 in 06-07. I asked Finance Director Nicole Epps to check her figures and see if debt payments would actually be closer to $2,300,000.

Nicole looked back through debt information, did some calculations, and then told us that, yes, one debt payment (line-item) was "off" by $130,000 and, yes, another debt payment (line-item) was "off" by $870,000, and, yes, the total general debt payments would be $2,300,000 (instead of the $1,300,000 we had been given).

We got the corrected debt payment budget at our May 23 meeting. What a rude awakening there would have been down the road if we had approved the debt budget with the $1,000,000 error!

We also discussed the overall county debt. The total debt is about $46 million in principal alone (not including yearly interest charges that have to be paid). And that $46 million county debt figure does not include any of the huge M-H hospital debt that is kept in a separate debt fund.

In discussing the county debt, I asked whether the county had just been paying interest only on the four big $10 million dollar bond issues. Joe Ayers of Cumberland Securities answered "yes."

What this means is that over the past 6-7 years, we have added $40 million worth of debt but we have yet to pay a dime toward the principal of that debt. We are currently scheduled to start paying down this $40 million bond debt in 2009."

Here's another entry:

"If the revenue and expenditure figures do not change a lot in the next few weeks and if we keep approving all the spending that is in front of us, then we will be looking at a deficit general fund budget for 06-07. We will have slowly approved spending more than we expect to take in.

And that would be a deficit budget before there is any talk at all about pay raises or the school budget!

It's full steam ahead to approve all the spending increases and then saddle the taxpayers with higher tax rates this year on top of last year's higher property appraisals--the old double whammy right in the pocketbook."

And again, it's noted that budget figures presented to the full commission are based on one set of estimates via the county mayor's office versus basing them on the correct audited figures available.

"Using the computer records means that we are using unaudited and uncorrected numbers even though Commission adopted audited-based budgeting years ago for the purpose of having the most accurate available record of county spending in front of us during each budget cycle.

All the historical spending (02-03, 03-04, 04-05) that commission has been given comes from unaudited/uncorrected computer records even though audits for all three of those years were available on March 31.

This commission wanted and voted for more accuracy in the budgeting process by adopting audited-based budgeting, but we didn't get it.

It is unfortunate that the County Mayor and his Finance Department have snubbed the entire Commission.

Actually, it is more than unfortunate and it is more than a snub.

Taxpayers, too, deserve to know that the most accurate records available --audited records--are given to their commissioners and are used by the County Mayor and the Finance Department in the budget cycle.

This is just one of the reasons I spoke yesterday of the mess we are in after just three budget meetings."

As I have mentioned before - ignoring these critical funding discrepancies is perilous for taxpayers.

Confessions of a "Lost" American

Confessing my shallow interests in television is not a proud moment, but I'm not alone in my interest in the "Lost" series. It is a rather finely constructed web of deceits and mysteries which can both follow typical TV conventions as well as distort them, reminding me of such other great programs which I became addicted to like "Twin Peaks" and "The Prisoner".

Thanks to Big Orange Michael, I read a most interesting theory about the Real Meaning of the events on the show in Entertainment Weekly. (Side note: Being caught reading EW is akin to someone catching you reading US Weekly and as I rule I read neither. Honest-to-Pete I don't.)

Writing here about a TV show is a feat of sheer Geekiness, but thanks to Bill Gates and bad reality television, Geek is In. Embracing your inner (or outer for that matter) Geek is the hallmark of the moment.

Apologies aside, the above-mentioned theory calls into importance the writings of Charles Dickens, master storyteller and the man who perfected serial storytelling. I'm sure the writers of "Lost" have more than a passing admiration for Dickens, as most good writers do. And you can read the book which the character of Desmond, one-time hatch-inhabitant, holds so dear in the last episode, "Our Mutual Friend", by clicking here.

Speaking of television viewing - I did not realize at the time that I had chosen to watch the 3-hour movie of Stephen King's "Desperation" rather than watch the finale of "American Idol" -- wouldn't watch that anyway, unless someone was holding a gun to my pointed little head. It was a fine peice of work -- and Stephen himself was most annoyed the suits at ABC put his gem up against the Idol finale.

And that leads to one other noteworthy event for summer viewing - TNT has made a mini-series of his "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" which will air in July.

OK, enough of this attention paid to television. A writer has no place discussing it - or does he??

Song For Memorial Day

WWBD??

Cowabunga, dude.

Be sure to make one of your own.

Yeah, Right, I Made *Smirk* Mistakes

Take a look at the smirk on our President's face as he and British P.M. Blair tell reporters that their efforts to combat terrorism have had a few mistakes.

As noted in other blogs, it appears the confession really wasn't an admission of mistakes, more a regret for the choice of wording.

As before, the lyrics to "My Way" must be running through the mind of the Commander In Chief.

"Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way."

Congress Squeals For Protection- UPDATE

UPDATE: A Katrina-style storm is about to breach the levees in Washington as the Congress, the President, the FBI, Justice Dept. and the courts wrangle and battle over the corruption investigations in Congress.

The Post today says the top three officials at Justice, including Attorney General Gonzales, threatened to resign if records and documents seized in the court-approved raid on Congressman Jefferson's office had to be returned. That prompted President Bush to step into a real hornets nest to order the info be sealed.

From Friday:

Congressional leaders continue to allow liberty and individual rights to drift further and further away from average citizens, but when it comes to keeping themselves free from scrutiny and investigaton, they are united.

I doubt may voters have any sympathy for them, since they have abandoned us. Scandals, corruption, and the inability to encourage ethical behavior has meant their approval ratings are even below the Bushh free fall into negativity.

An editorial in today's USA Today (the less filling, more taste newspaper) they call the political leaders out:

"Now we know what it takes to make Congress mad enough to stand up for constitutional rights.

When the government snoops on your phone calls and records without warrants, lawmakers barely kick up a fuss. But when the target is a fellow congressman — one under investigation for taking a bribe, no less — they're ready to rumble.

Witness the bipartisan frenzy set off after the FBI searched the Capitol Hill offices of Rep. William Jefferson, D-La., on Saturday. The FBI had a court order. According to an FBI affidavit, he was videotaped taking $100,000 in cash from an investor working undercover for the FBI. Agents found $90,000 of it stuffed in his freezer at home, the affidavit said.

Never mind all that. Leaders of the House of Representatives are appalled. They say the search violated the Constitution's separation of powers, "designed to protect the Congress and the American people from abuse of power."

House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., and Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., who rarely agree on anything, demanded that the Justice Department return the "unconstitutionally seized" documents. House Judiciary Committee Chairman James Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., said the episode raised "profoundly disturbing" questions. He set a hearing for Tuesday to ask: "Did the Saturday night raid of Congress trample the Constitution?"

If only those leaders were as profoundly disturbed about executive branch incursions on the rights of average citizens. You certainly have to wonder where they've been for the past several years while the Bush administration ran roughshod over the legislative branch and launched anti-terror programs of questionable legality.

Last December, The New York Times revealed that the National Security Agency (NSA) was wiretapping international phone calls without court warrants. Hastert didn't make a peep. Pelosi and other Democrats loudly protested, but nothing came of it. As it turns out, Pelosi was part of a tiny leadership group that had been briefed on the program since October 2001.

The scenario repeated itself this month when USA TODAY revealed that the NSA has collected millions of phone records.

So now the leadership swings into action because the FBI searched a Capitol Hill office for evidence of criminal activity?"

Camera Obscura: Cemetery Man, X-Men, Comics Galore

The critic is: IN. The movies: Obscure and Mainstream. The News: Sneak peeks at movies out this summer. Ah, yes, faithful followers, it's time to talk movies and we have a bona fide horror gem from the early 90s fresh to DVD; a Canadian treasure; a look at what oddities are ahead this summer and the bad news about X-Men 3.

This week new previews of Marvel Comics "Ghost Rider" were released (the movie stars Nicolas Cage, who turned down a proposed "Superman" role and went for the flamin' skeleton on a motorcycle. Who wouldn't? The preview is here.

Director Jon Favreau has "Iron Man" details here, in a deal that takes all the Marvel titles away from Hollywood control. In fact, Marvel has a whole stack of heroes in the pipeline, including Nick Fury!! (Please never watch that lousy David Hasselhoff TV movie from a few years ago.)

The big comics-to-movies news is the third X-Men movie - and the critics so far say it's all hat and no cattle. Meaning it's effects-heavy and story-light. I admit, the idea of Kelsey Grammer as The Beast is almost enough to keep me away from the movie. It opens everywhere today. (and remember, film critics seldom get the comic book lovers appreciation for the stories told in panels and word balloons.)

And wouldn't you know it - the one movie featured at the Cannes Festival I'd like to see, "Southland Tales" by the director/writer of "Donnie Darko" can't seem to find a distributor. J. Hoberman has a review of "Southland Tales", a Phillip Dick inspired sci-fi end-of-the world musical and satiric jab at national security issues, along with a wrap-up of all things Cannes here. He calls "Southland" one of the first great, visionary flicks of 2006. (Also the movie is linked to a series of soon to be released graphic novels.)

"Southland Tales"

Constant readers here know how much I looooove horror films and I have a real gem from the 1990s today, thanks to the folks at Anchor Bay and M-80 Teams for the screener copy of "Cemetery Man."

Released in the mid-90s and made in 1994 "Cemetery Man" is a jaw-dropping mix of zombies and doomed love starrring Rupert Everett. I caught this movie on it's original run and the Italian-French production (dubbed in English) presents a very stylish and gruesome movie -- imagine if Fellini and Bergman made a zombie movie with Sam Raimi and you'll get an idea of what the movie is like. I think it's the only art-house zombie flick I've ever seen.

"Cemetery Man"

Rupert plays the watchman at a cemetery, along with a nearly mute helper, who has a problem - the dead keep coming back. He does his best to keep the zombies at bay, but when he sees a widow, an ephemeral beauty in black, one day, he falls in love - of course, she's bitten by her dead husband and becomes a member of the walking dead club.

This is the surface of the story, but the real surprise is how smart the script is and how gorgeous the visuals look. There are many layers here and many surprises. It's very funny, grim and artfully made. It was way past time for a decent DVD version of this movie and I think it's a forgotten classic of the genre. Pick up a copy when it's released in June. (And remember, NEVER bury a motorcyle with a corpse.)

This week a reader asked if I had seen a very odd release from director Guy Maddin, called "The Saddest Music In The World", and what my thoughts on it were. This is not a typical movie in any way. Maddin, a Canadian, seldom uses any technology not available to filmmakers in the early silent cinema of the 1900s. Using eight and sixteen millimeter for the most part, filming mostly black and white, smearing lenses with vaseline and using iris-outs, his movies seldom appeal to the masses.

"Saddest Music" is about a competition to find the saddest music, hosted by beer baroness Isabella Rossellini, who has lost her legs and replaced them with glass legs. It only gets stranger as you watch it. There is much satire here and much, much strangeness as only Maddin could make.

I first encountered Maddin in 1991 when I saw his movie "Archangel" in a dinky screening room in Greenwich Village. Maddin somehow always makes amputees and amnesia central to his movies, which I suppose is his preferred metaphor for the theme in all his movies - loss. He's an acquired taste, no doubt. Though I have enjoyed his movies, I was not able to sit through his version of Dracula, titled "Dracula: Pages From A Virgin's Diary", as it was really a filmed ballet. Yes, I said ballet.

Some things are too weird, even for me.

UPDATE: The announced release of the original theatrical "Star Wars" movies got worse - no letterbox version, just a pan and scan format for TV screens.

And weep for Britney/Federline 'cause it's over.

"Kung Fu" creators are taking Caine's story to the big screen.

Is Hell Freezing Over?

A tax on long distance service dating back to the late 1800s and used to help finance the Spanish American war is being repealed and more amazing, the government says you can reclaim some of the money on next year's tax return. Details here.

Efforts are still underway to eliminate an excise tax on local phone service.

"So taxpayers won't have to spend time digging through old telephone bills, we're designing a straightforward process that taxpayers may use when they file their tax returns next year, said IRS Commissioner Mark Everson. "Claiming a refund will be simple and fair."

[Treasury Secretary] Snow said he could not specify how much of the refund might be made to businesses and how much to individuals, or estimate the size of refund an average individual could expect to get.

He also urged Congress to repeal the excise tax on local telephone service. The Justice Department had appealed in U.S. courts to keep the long-distance tax but was turned back several times."

Did it just get frosty in Hell? How unreadable and obscure are other sections of a typical phone bill?

In an unrelated yet pertinent event, I noticed in a movie from 1989 that a character was speaking to someone thru a device that was a heavy-looking rectangle of black with a curly cord attached to one end ... and I thought, how many people have never used a phone with one of those unmanageable loops of cord connecting a handset to a base? (Handset?? Base???)

It's Officially Towel Day!

It's time to grab a towel and flag down an interstellar ride!

" A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough."

Principal Told To Drop Case Against Student

Some updates on stories from yesterday.

As mentioned yesterday, the case involving a Gallatin senior who spoke out at the school's graduation won't be charged with a crime after all. National and international bloggers and news reports seems to have made the necessary impact. Criminal charges against the student were just wrong. And maybe the school will start allowing for academic achievers to have a voice in graduation ceremonies. Maybe.

Also, the Justice Dept. says that House Speaker Hastert is not under investigation and requested ABC issue a retraction to the story - however ABC maintains that the story was meant to indicate he is "in the mix" of persons involved in congressional probes of bribery and corruption. This story will tumble about for months before it ends - how many will be charged? Hard to say at this point, but I expect after a few perfunctory fall guys get pinned, the whole mess will get swept aside until after this fall's elections.

Newscoma has a great clip of newsman Jack Cafferty calling out the hypocrisy in Congress.

DeLay Uses Colbert as Defense and Other Ironies

As rumors of investigations and scandal continue to swirl over congress it is obvious that Weird and Ironic will be the twin dangers like Scylla and Charybdis, waiting to swallow those who are too close.

First is the truly amazing story that Tom DeLay's Legal Defense Fund has decided that comedian Steven Colbert's satire is DeLay's best defense. Astonishing on so many levels and just darned funny too.

And I must wonder, since the news was released today that the Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert is under investigation by the FBI as part of a massive corruption scandal -- was that why he was so upset that the FBI actually raided a congressional office?

Hastert's web page even goes so far as to express grave concern about warrants or the lack of them, and the the importance of Constitutional rights and consolidating power in one branch of government.

Now, he's concerned. When it was just the average American whose rights were being trampled, well that's national security.

High School Grad Faces Criminal Charge For Speaking

I had thought of providing an address to the graduates of 2006, a commencement speech which might offer something useful to grads leaving school behind and entering the working world. However, I read a story today about a valedictorian from Gallatin who experienced a volatile blend of just how silly both school and non-school worlds truly are.

The school oddly does not allow for top academic performers to speak at graduation. Applause from the audience is also banned and spectators are threatened with criminal charges.

Criminal charges have been filed against valedictorian Chris Linzy for defying the ban on speaking at the ceremony and now school officials say his diploma is on hold and school officials have confiscated his records.

Welcome to America 2006, Chris.

He did write and submit an apology to the school board for "disrupting" the ceremony. Apparently, the board wants to pursue the issue into criminal court.

TGW has a post about this, including contact info to tell school officials what you think.

And here are Chris' comments which brought out the rabid, senseless anger of the principal of the school, titled:

People who need to be heard are silenced

By Christopher David Linzy

Guest commentary

Christopher David Linzy, member of a generation not without heroes but worse with counterfeit heroes.

This is not because those persons that deserve to be role models do not exist but instead because these people that need to be heard most in our society are silenced by the roar of counterfeit personalities.

The great industrialists and philosophers of our society are drowned out by nihilistic and altruistic celebrity voices that preach a message the end result of which is in fact the destruction of our industrial world.

These people have become our generation'’s only guides and this is why we live in a moral vacuum. With no one to inspire us to pursue our desires and personal goals we turn instead to the mindless goal of the so called collective mind. Individuals are lost in a sea of disillusion and decay.

This however can be stopped. Our generation can turn back the tide of decay and build a new America upon the values of reason and individuality. We can lead not only ourselves but all who follow us out of the swamp of the mind and onto ground paved with individual morality and reason driven ambitions.

UPDATE: The principal at the school was ordered to provide the diploma Linzy earned. No word yet if the idiotic criminal charge is going to be dismissed. However the one enormous positiver from this chuckle-headed, fearful action by the principal -- it has insured that bloggers and news sites around the state and the nation are providing copies of Linzy's words to a massive audience. Can't silence that, can they? (thanks to NiT for the news update)

Not To Be Missed

There's still time for you to get involved and add your questions to the ever-growing list of inquiries into what you, dear readers, want to have me answer. Perhaps it's personal or perhaps it's something more .... well, something more. Some samples from the list now include:

-- It is winter of 1874. You are leading the Brady Bunch (including Alice and Tiger) from Provo, Utah to Breckinridge, Colorado in search of gold, when something goes horribly awry. Which Brady do you cannibalize first, and why?

-- You have fallen out the window into a vat of toxic waste, and have transformed into the Toxic Joe-venger, super hero extraordinaire. What is your super power?

-- Who does your hair?

-- When did you decide journalism was for you?

And, who knew, some of the questions submitted got some answers already:

-- Zombies are overrunning Morristown! Which weapon do you grab first? Moonshine and a Moon Pie

I asked myself a question just last night - If I were a congressman would I rather be videotaped by the FBI for hauling giant packs of $100 bills in bribe money into my car or sneaking around Britney Spears waiting for a chance to trip her as she ran away from photographers while loosely holding an infant?

You can add yours to the comments on this post or on this one -- I am quite sure the final result will be a post not to be missed and thanks for asking.