Tuesday, September 05, 2006

"We Will Keep Control"

Watching what passes for campaigning these days, which is really just political party humping and grinding, Republican Sen. Dole exclaimed "We will keep control!!!"

She was chastising Democrat Sen. Schumer while some network goober played referee in a game of Bait the Question.

The question - not about the nature of issues facing the country, not about the failure or successes of either elected official, not about the massive public disgust with failures in Congress. Nope. It was a question of "Will the Republicans or the Democrats have control of the Senate after the elections this fall?"

Even the goober reporter knows the Public Good is a moot point. This is a billionaire's game of Party Politics and the Public Good is of no concern.

The response emphasizes that a political party runs America, aided by the party's donors and members. The clubs which are in charge have no desire to represent you unless you donate large cash sums. The emphasis is that the Time of "citizen-led legislature" has been long over and is not about to return.

"We will keep control."

In fairness, if you examine what that Royal We has done what will be found?

Tax cuts for the billionaires - check. Border Security and Immigration Reforms - ask after the elections. Minimum wage increase - ask after the elections. Social Security and Pension Reforms - no on S.S;, and companies now have years to comply with changes to Pension Management, insuring maximum profitability for corporate shareholders and the continuing decrease of Pension benefits to workers, all in a densely worded document which will allow a politician of either party to proclaim on the campaign trail "your money is safe!" without ever having to define "whose money" they mean. Health care reform - yes, pharmaceutical companies keep their control of Medicare and health insurance payment burdens have been removed from corporate concerns and are now the worker's "right". Federal deficit - highest growth in American history!! Housing and job growth - yes, the price of an average home is the highest in American history and there are more service jobs for illegal immigrants than ever before!!

But, Joe, the elections are about National Security and the Global War on Terror, which has been the tent-pole, the star attraction of the GOP for five years. We're winning that one aren't we?

Er. Um. I know we are "staying the course so we can fight them there on our terms rather than fight them here on their terms." Yep. Oh, and "we cannot cut and run."

So ... that means we are still in house to house, town to town, hill to hill battles in Afghanistan and Iraq. Years and years of hearings and trials for former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein are underway, the illegal heroin business in Afghanistan is booming, and Iran is emerging as an atomic superpower in the middle east. Terrorist bomb attacks and plots are now taking place in Britain, India, Saudi Arabia - so, nope, not here in America. Oh, and that whole WMD thing wasn't the point anyway, so we don't have that to worry about.

In terms of public safety, the illicit pleasures and poorer sections of New Orleans have been eliminated and the land is ripe for corporate investment, as soon as the government contractual fraud funding is complete. Any citizens forced to flee have been merged into surrounding state budgets for them to care for.

The Patriot Act has been reauthorized so it can circumvent the Constitution, phones and email are under constant surveillance, and the airlines now rigorously check shoes and liquids.

Education? No child has been left behind, all the test numbers are new and totally misunderstood by the public in general and soda pop machines are quickly fading from campuses everywhere.

On the thorny issue of campaign financing scandals, lobbyist reforms -- well, looking at the race in Tennessee for the battle of the Senate seat, Democrat Harold Ford Jr has raised about $4.5 million and spent about $3.3 million, and Republican Bob Corker has raised $5.5 million and spent about $1.8 million. The edge goes to Corker, who has plenty of revenue left to whip away at the godless, liberal democrat Ford in advertising spots and exiting Senator Bill Frist is hard at working campaigning in Iowa.

Outside Tennessee, the battle is truly fierce in states like Pennsylvania, where incumbent Republican and cheerleader Sen. Rick Santorum is trailing in the polls, but has raised $18.3 million so should have plenty of chance to catch the current poll leader, Democrat Bob Casey Jr. who has raised only $8.4 million.

Congress itself is poised to return for a few weeks, where they will consider a bill to commemorate the victims and events of 9-11-2001. That should coincide with multi-media programs via news networks, DVDs and movies to remind everyone of how afraid they should be, and bring support to the side of Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld, who has successfully been able to stay in his position on the cabinet for a historic length of time.

In short, I think Sen. Dole is right. They are in charge. In glorious, terror-alert colors of half-witted, ill-thought and fear-filled charge.

The old military terms apply - the GOP has SNAFU. The Democrats have FUBAR.

The American Citizen - go back to work, move along, nothing to see here. "We will keep control."


  1. Anonymous11:48 AM

    Jesus Joe, I was having a good day till I came here...

  2. yeah, i'll do that. :)

  3. Anonymous5:33 PM

    When will the unwashed masses learn that the current administration and the Republican party are only acting in the best interest of the public?

    God, I couldn't even type that with a straight face!

    Great post!

  4. Boy, you are a fiesty one.
    You go, Joe!

  5. Anonymous3:44 PM

    Hey Joe, do you know what SNAFU & FUBAR even mean