Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Sex Toys In Tennessee

Have I missed some news reports where roving bands of sex toys sales teams are canvassing schoolyards in Tennessee attempting to lure underage kids into buying sex toys? Are there television and radio ads hawking the imitation sex devices upon an unsuspecting public? Apparently, some in the Tennessee State House view these devices as a threat, though I do see and hear endless ads on TV and radio advising to men on how they can "enhance" their genital performance.

Others in the TN blog world have posted on this, notably at Tennessee Guerilla Women and at WhitesCreek Journal, and Say Uncle. Senate Bill 3794 and House Bill 3798 would make it illegal to sell, advertise, publish or exhibit to another person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for stimulation of human genital organs.

Does "three-dimensional device" include, say, a human hand?

And is this the (ahem) burning,white-hot issue legislators feel requires (ahem) action???

Given that the legislature is "handling" the issues of ethics, conflicts of interest, FBI probes into bribery, investigations into the actions of the widespread failures of state agencies to provide residents with copies of open records (via Newscoma), the stalled improvements to TennCare, the consistently confusing formula for providing state schools with adequate funding -- Sen. Burks and Rep. Swafford have pointed their attentions at devices for self stimulation.

Will we have to create a special Task Force to (ahem) handle this situation? This is more than a waste of legislative time and energy, it's just plain silly. And I have to wonder, is touching yourself soon to be a crime in and of itself?


  1. Nashville Scene ads this info:

    Of course, as with all good public policy, state Sen. Charlotte Burks and Rep. Eric Swafford have included a few exemptions for responsible dildo-users. ... Your doctor or psychologist will similarly be authorized to prescribe the regular use of a sex toy “in the course of medical or psychological treatment or care.”

    Um, so let me get this straight: doctors give prescriptions for dildos? When did this start? Can you pick up a dildo at your local pharmecy? Will they sell generic brands then?

    A call to all bloggers: send photos of your dildos (or other "genital stimulation" devices) to me at TheEditor (dot) TNWaltz at gmail (dot) com. I will post them on my blog. Let em come after me.

  2. Sounds like law making to give a high paying job to someones kinky brother-in-law, it all started from a drunken joke at dinner.

  3. Are those prescriptions covered by Ten-Care?

  4. My thought exactly, Kelvis. Remember, Tenn-Care reccomends that if and when you can, you should purchase generic forms. Again, do they sell generic brand dildos?

  5. Well, it was a big day for conservatives. Bush wants the line-item veto, Patriot Act sails through the House with nary a cry, GOP wants to make it perfectly alright to wiretap, Ciro lost in Texas and Tennessee is tackling the big issues once again.
    Maybe we could write a grant for dildo education, use and maintenance.

  6. Anonymous7:23 PM

    Lawmakers like arouse the voters anyway they can. God knows the GOP loves screwing us.

  7. Anonymous11:08 PM

    Since the Legislature delights in screwing us over, aren't they making themselves illegal ?

  8. So they think they are screwing us enough that we don't need the help at home?

    Well, I've seen it time and again, how these 'devices' have broken down the 'fabric' of the Tennessean home. I've had to pull kids from homes all the time over just this situation... um.. not.

    Hopefully we can all have a 'Long Hard' laugh over this sometime.

  9. Anonymous11:34 AM

    The bill has been pulled because Sen. Burks didn't like it was drafted. Hopefully it will never see the light of day again.

  10. Thanks for the update on that ridiculous bit of legislation!

  11. Anonymous8:32 AM

    I know Burks and Swafford, and both of them together are too stupid to have drawn up this bill by themselves. They got it from ACIR or another of those uniform law warehouses. The burning question of today is this: Who is supplying state legislatures all across the land with fill-in-the-blanks forms for any topic under the sun? AND, how many Tennessee laws already on the books came to us this very same, unTennessee way?