Friday, November 18, 2005

Camera Obscura - Just Weird

Some things the world does NOT need:

A TV-movie remake of "The Poseidon Adventure", which hits NBC Sunday night. At least its not a reality show and it hits the airwaves just before next year's big-screen remake which features a gay couple. People get paid for this crap??

Fox has ordered up a series based on the "Terminator" movies and plan to call it "The Sarah Connor Chronicles." My advice to anyone involved in the production is cash those paychecks quickly and then get ready for the entire 6-episode DVD set soon to follow. Yeesh.

The current season of "The Simpsons." Please stop this show. I am hopeful the big-screen movie in production now is getting all the good writing and satire missing from the show for last year or so. The first eight or ten seasons are priceless, but it just isn't aging well and the bite is gone. And try as hard as they might, "Family Guy" and "American Dad" just don't make the grade for me. I think the shows are satires of how bad TV shows can be -- but that's like shooting fish in a shot glass. Let the bashing of my opinion begin.

Now for some more interesting viewing choices.

At least, I think this could be interesting. The NBC show "Medium" has a 3-D episode on Monday, and features a CGI-altered Rod Serling introducing the show and telling you how/when to wear the 3-D glasses (which are in the new magazine format TV Guide). I sort of like this show which is a cross between "Bewitched", "Columbo" and "Memento," but it is a guilty pleasure.

Speaking of 3-D, let me get nostalgic. Back in the early 80s, a highly profitable (and utterly silly) group of 3-D movies were released, "Friday the 13th 3-D" and "Jaws 3-D". A small theatre in Morristown somehow then followed that up with a re-release of the 1973 release "Andy Warhol's Frankenstein" in 3-D. I nearly wrecked my car as I saw that title up on the marquee -- wha???? Someone thinks Morristown is gonna go for Andy freakin' Warhol??? Of course, I HAD to go see this, if only to watch the revulsion grow faster than kudzu thru the audience. I was not disappointed. Folks brought their kids to see this one -- I laughed so hard I had a nosebleed as the movie unspooled and all the weirdness stomped into the room and the audience kept up a mantra of "Dang! What the heck is this?" Sadly, some of my favorite lines are not suitable for this blog. Suffice to say that by the time the credits rolled, the theatre which had been packed to capacity, consisted of myself and two friends (who had both wanted to leave.) Now, Udo Kier shows up in everything - I'm waiting for guest shots on "Desperate Housewives" and "The West Wing."

Just one more thought unconnected to anything else in this post - Oone of the funniest movie titles my double-entendre mind has encountered lately: "Tarzan's Magic Fountain." Heh heh.

Oh, one more great moment in Celebrity History - Rex L. Camino's post this week about Paris Hilton's monkey attacking her in a lingerie shop. Yes, that's what I said. God Bless you Rex, and God Bless that monkey too. (Paris named the monkey Baby Luv.)


  1. Why no review of the 'Girls next door' the reality tv show about Hugh Hef's gf's?? That's quality programing - real 'bang for your buck'.
    I enjoy Medium as well, and find her husband to be very supportive. Sho would like to meet a man that supportive - though I don't have those special talents.
    What did Paris expect, everyone knows that Monkeys hate lingerie shops - that is why you never see them at victoria's secret, man she is as dumb as sack of hammers.
    And,, you said 'magic fountain', tee hee

  2. Anonymous1:04 PM

    The Poseidon capsizing looks great, however. I've seen the final cut. Worth checking out.

  3. Tim Smasken2:14 PM

    I had forgotten about the Andy Warhol in 3D in Mo-town, but now I have vivid memories. Still hilarious thinking about it.

    And I certainly believe that homosexuals have earned the right to go down on--er, I mean--with the ship, and Ernest Borgnine, and Red Buttons . . .

    Speaking of which--and I absolutely love the cheesey odor of the original but--that cast was appaling AND inspirational simultaneously: One legitimate star (Gene Hackman), one underrated star (Roddy McDowell), and a bunch of has-beens and nobodies. I have nightmares of Carol Lynley singing "We've Only Just Begun!" Also, I wanted to smack that little punk-ass kid and his sister, Nancy Drew.

    Secretly, we all know that Shelly Winters sunk that ship, luring helpless tsunamis with her gravitational pull. God bless her; she has inspired generations of drag queens to embark on highly unflattering imitations with wide eyes, puffed cheeks, and lazy breast strokes.

    YES. I do own the DVD!

  4. Animated Monkey3:21 PM

    The Simpson's has weakened, but it's still better than most live action comedies on the air. American Dad is trying hard, & improving, but it's still not there, yet. Family Guy, however, is pure genius, & I'm disappointed in your lack of enthusiasm for it.
    Paris Hilton's Monkey For President! (I'm printing the bumper stickers, now.)
    As for Tarzan's Magic Fountain - Pee Tarzan, eww Jane.....

  5. How Freudian.. Tarzan's Magic Fountain.. reminds me of an old boyfriend. (men who insist upon naming their members)
    I grew up in the era where John Wayne spanked that willful Jane Russell in every Saturday afternoon matinee (watched in the privacy of my living room, since religion forbade going to a theater!) Now what does that teach a kid about relationships? 'You get lippy, big boobs, you'll get a lickin'..' It drove us all to S&M. ;o)

  6. Finally, you outed the Tarzan film!

    Woo Hoo!

  7. anyone care to try and re-write the lyrics to Big Rock Candy Mountain and call it Tarzan's Magic Fountain?

    jes' askin.

  8. Speaking of 3D movies, did you miss The Three Stewardesses. This was porn movie. Interesting body parts were in their lush full shape. If they had added "smell-o-vision if would almost like being there.

  9. Forgive me if I find it a bit creepy for a Unitarian Minister (aka, Tossing Pebbles in the Stream) to be talking about smell-o-vision in porn. I'm the last person you'd call a prude, but... ew!