im in ur magazine, killin ur n00z.

If you don't understand the headline of this post, then you are not part of the You selected by Time Magazine as Man of the Year in their issue with a faux mirror on the cover.

So instead of You, they should have said Us. Because most of Us know what's what when it comes to the internet, blogs, YouTube, iPod, and other personal computing practices.

Or they could have said Some of You. Or some of Us.

Next year, Time will announce that Them is the winner of their MOTY title.

(oh for the love of -- fine, fine, explanation of the headline on this post can be found here)

Border Wall Company Hires Illegals

I told you this was going to happen. I said it in April about the idiocy of building a Hi-Tech-Mega-Super Wall on the border with Mexico.

A company has agreed to plead guilty for hiring illegals to build the wall to keep illegals out.

"A Southern California fence-building company and two executives pleaded guilty Thursday to knowingly hiring illegal immigrants and agreed to pay a combined penalty of $5 million. The executives could also go to prison.

The penalty is one of the biggest fines ever imposed in an immigration case, and the case represents a rare instance in which prosecutors brought criminal charges over the hiring of illegal immigrants."

Of Toes and Snows

A fine day in December here in East Tennessee, as I can walk outside barefoot still. I know, I know - shades of the barefoot hillbilly.

It's more a matter of deliriously nice weather outside and the fact that last night while taking garbage out to the house-assigned and massive county-sanctioned receptacle here at the homestead, I fumbled my steps in the dark, and stabbed my toe on something far too large for said toe. The result is something not quite broken, but not quite right, a gaping (though wee) wound on the third toe of my right foot.

Socks and shoes make it hurt even more. Yes, I've slathered it with unguents and ointments and various antiseptics, but fortunately it's warm enough to step outside in bare-naked feet to walk the dog around the yard and fetch the mail. Said nakedness won't last, though, as a busy day encroaches and naked feet aren't allowed

The balmy day mocks the agenda ahead - shopping for Christmas items. Sure, the music now playing on the computer is all snow and cold and baby, Santa is coming. Yet sunshine and a high near 70 degrees evokes a tropical Christmas. I love it. Being a lifetime inmate - er, resident - of Tennessee I think of snow and cold as appropriate on two occasions: on Christmas day itself, and only if it dissipates within 48 hours; and on those days in January or February when some wan child has not completed an arduous homework assignment and needs a snow delay for school in order to avoid the wrath of some taciturn teacher.

I subscribe to a myth of my own making regarding snow in Tennessee and the South in general. When the signing of surrender documents at Appamattox in the Civil War occurred, one section of the document included a section stating that from that day forward, if it snows south of the Mason-Dixon line, then that day is clearly designated a holiday. And as long as snow was on the ground, no work or school is mandatory.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Now I am off for some additional salves for the wounded toe and a leisurely search for gifts to give folks for the holidays. A search which will include me finding the perfect gift for me. It relieves pressure from others who might wonder what I'd like and insures a smile on my face when the morning (perhaps snowy) of December 25th dawns.

Six Faces of Bob Dylan

I read some months ago about the "experimental" movie being made by Todd Haynes about iconic singer/songwriter Bob Dylan and that multiple actors were cast to play the man.

A new article talks about the project with one such star-turned-singer, Cate Blanchett.

"Each Bob is filmed in a different style too, as Blanchett described hers. "Mine's in black and white and I think some of them are hypercolored. Todd is a genre defying film director to begin with. If you look back to his film school thing about Karen Carpenter, if you've seen it, with the Barbie dolls, it's amazing. He thinks so laterally, in such a Todd Haynes way. I don't think anyone else could have conceived of the idea. And it's great because the fact that I'm a woman, automatically you have that Brechtian distance between the persona of Dylan and the form of the film liberates it from being a biopic."

Others cast to play Mr. Zimmerman include Christian Bale, Richard Gere (??!!!??!), and Heath Ledger. And Cate. The photo here is from a set that appeared on a French web site.

The movie is set to premiere next year at the Cannes Film Festival.

I'll have more movie and entertainment news in a later post today - but this story deserved it's very own space.

Botched Grand Jury In PS3 Shooting

The strange events surrounding the shooting death of Peyton Strickland by police who stormed his apartment got even stranger this week. A judge has declared that a deputy who was indicted on Monday of a charge of second degree murder is not indicted after all. Reports say the jury foreman accidentally checked the wrong box on the jury form.

"Cpl. Christopher Long was indicted Monday on a charge of second-degree murder in connection with the Dec. 1 death of Peyton Strickland. But a judge dismissed the charge Tuesday after the foreman of the grand jury said he checked the wrong box on the indictment form and that members of the grand jury didn't find enough evidence to charge Long with murder.

[County D.A.Ben] David met Wednesday with officials from the Special Prosecution Section of the Attorney General's Office to discuss the grand jury's reversal to determine what to do next. He declined to answer specific questions about the investigation Thursday but said the case would move forward."This case is still open. The investigation is ongoing, and future court action is anticipated," David said.

Outrage has brought death threat's against the deputy, which is sheer nonsense. The family of the 18 year old has been through unimaginable and difficult times. But there are elements in the evidence presented so far that stands out in my mind.

One is the deputy's claim in the grand jury hearing that he mistook the sounds of a battering ram for gunshots from inside the house, which prompted him to fire. Forget that he is outside of the apartment, knowing the door is about to be rammed. He's admitted he fired without reason.

That, plus the fact the coroner says the bullets which killed Strickland came through a closed door, indicate some critical breakdown in the normal course of events in serving a warrant and an eagerness to shoot first and ask questions later.

After all the confusion so far, it looks like incompetence wins the day, at the cost of one young man's life. The authorities involved have done massive damage to their own reputations too.

As for the family, they issued to following statement:

"This is bizarre.

How can an indictment one day not be an indictment the next? How could this happen? Yesterday, our son’s murderer was going to have to answer for what he did. Today, we just don’t know what is going on in Wilmington. We are upset, confused and searching for answers.

We call on the judge presiding over the grand jury to hold an inquiry into what happened here and make the results public. And, if it shows that anyone even attempted to influence the grand jury, we trust charges of obstructing justice will be filed.

Grainger Today Now Online

It's taken some time to construct and it was time well spent. The online version of the weekly Grainger Today newspaper is up and looks great. You can also link to it in the link list to your left.

Kudos to publisher Steve Cason and his staff for maintaining a solid example of good reporting and good writing. More projects from Grainger Today may also be ahead, and the East Tennessee region continues to to be well-served by their work.

Making A Christmas Classic

No one ever thought it would be memorable, but they were wrong.

"What the roomful of executives saw upon the first screening was a shock—a slow and quiet semireligious, jazz-filled 25 minutes, voiced by a cast of inexperienced children, and, perhaps most unforgivably, without a laugh track. “They said, ‘We’ll play it once and that will be all. Good try,’ “ remembers Mendelson. “Bill and I thought we had ruined Charlie Brown forever when it was done. We kind of agreed with the network. One of the animators stood up in the back of the room—he had had a couple of drinks—and he said, ‘It’s going to run for a hundred years,’ and then fell down. We all thought he was crazy, but he was more right than we were.”

Read more about how "A Charlie Brown Christmas" was made, including how the kids were coached into phonetically sounding out their dialog.

Making jabs at commercialism, panic during the holidays, and much more, it also has the best soundtrack I've ever heard for a TV Christmas show. This following is just a wee snippet of the show, but it has The Dance.

Are Men Funnier Than Women?

Are women, as a rule, lacking in humor?

The idea has long been debated among friends, once the old adage was mentioned during one fateful evening, that only men think the Three Stooges are funny. I admit I only know a handful of women who do while men are always fans of the hitting and slapping and sheer violent comedy of the Stooges.

A story in Vanity Fair puts forth the notion that women just don't make with the funny as well as men do, though the article is about as lame a presentation as I've ever read. No surprise that Christopher Hitchens is the author of yet another pitiful proposal, this one titled "Why Women Aren't Funny".

There are nearly 200 comments so far in a post about this story at MetaFilter.

There is agreement that the article in question and it's author are painfully off target. But the question remains - are women, as a rule, just not as funny as men?

It is noted that claiming a man is funny is the equal of the compliment that a woman is pretty. Seems to me that the argument is 'pretty funny' indeed. While I admit that I do know many women who don't seem to be able to tell a joke correctly, that is far different from being funny. Measuring the number of male versus female stand-up comics is no good guide either, as very few really funny stand-up comedians even exist.

I've had the great fun of working with many improv comedy groups and found that the women were just as funny as the men, and in general only a few people excel at improv.

The article in Vanity Fair says humor is just another form of aggression. That is another topic of debate too.

Humorist Robert Benchly once said - "Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."

A friend in high school often made the following claim - "The only things people laugh at are pain and other people."

Far more instructive, however, is the following comment made by an improv comedy troupe member during one evening's rehearsal - "The thing about comedy is, it has to be funny."

That's the best summation of comedy and humor I know.

Have A Very Buffy Christmas

This past weekend my nephew asked me how I was coping with the ever-dwindling televised opportunities to watch "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" reruns. He has no idea how obsessed a fan can be, or how resourceful, but he's young, so it's no biggie.

There are ways, oh yes, many ways.

Take for example the following video, compiled mostly from the 1998 episode "Amends", wherein young Buff has to battle The Harbingers, some blind and very bad priests, who are holding nefarious rituals underneath a christmas tree lot and channeling much bad mojo into the mind of the vampire-nearly-ex-boyfriend Angel. And it all ends with snow, blocking out the sun so Buff and Angel can spend the holiday together. Awwww ....

Just remember what Buff said in that episode as she imagines the required ingredients for a fine Christmas - "Tree. Nog. Roast Beast."

Oh and just for the record - Season 8 of the series will appear in March of 2007 as creator Joss Whendon tells the continuing story of the li'l vampire slayer in a 20-issue comic book run for Dark Horse Comics.

The video originally on this post has disappeared. But you can watch it all online at this Fancast link. ... or, guess you'll just have to fire up yer DVD machines.

PS3 Shooting Now A Murder Case

Today a grand jury indicted a North Carolina deputy with murder in the shooting death of an 18-year-old, Peyton Strickland, said by authorities to be a suspect in a case involving the theft of the PayStation 3 game console. The first reports are here.

I mentioned the bizarre and deadly incident earlier today. The deputy was charged with 2nd degree murder today for shooting and killing Strickland. However, details of the investigation remain shrouded at this time. When I discover more info, I'll gladly share it.

UPDATE: No indictment ocurred. Yes, that's right. full details here.

Strange Case of Police Shooting Over PS3

A press conference is scheduled for today in North Carolina regarding the shooting death by police of an 18-year-old suspected in the robbery of two PlayStation 3's. The details of the event have been very slow in coming forth, but authorities are hard-pressed to explain both what happened and who was involved and several of the deputies who apparently shot through the door of the suspect's apartment have been involved in other shooting deaths as well. One deputy involved has already been fired, even though the investigation is still in the early stages.

When the warrant for Peyton Strickland's arrest was being served, deputies also brought along a special S.W.A.T. team - reports now say that's because someone found pictures of the suspect and some friends posing with guns on a web site. Friends say the picture was done as a joke.

Reports also recently released say that Strickland was apparently shot several times through a closed door, meaning he was shot while deputies were still outside of his home. Strickland's dog was also killed in the assault and witnesses at the scene say Strickland was not armed, but was holding a game console controller.

Blogs in North Carolina have been tracking the story and shifting of blame.

Strickland's father is a well known wrongful death attorney in North Carolina.

Iraq Study Group No Real Help

I have little support or enthusiasm for the much overestimated report from the Iraq Study Group.

You don't have to be a foreign relations expert, or former Bush the First appointee to know that the situation on the ground in Iraq has been grim and yes, deteriorating for some time.

Counting on diplomatic pressure from the likes of Iran and Syria -- no, wouldn't recommend that. Those countries actively, aggressively oppose democratic goals. And prior to the US war in Iraq, even I could have advised White House officials that a weak Iraq and a weak Afghanistan would create the basis for a very powerful Iran.

Let's be honest - Iran has been the poster child for anti-U.S. philosophy since hostages were taken during the U.S. Embassy seizure in 1979. And Syria is a haven for Hussein loyalists.

Despite hopeful admiration for the report, little attention is being paid to two key problems with the U.S. strategy -- contracting out the training of Iraqis to private companies has been rife with fraud and failure; and likewise failure has been achieved at insuring a stable infrastructure of basics like electricity, hospitals, and even oil production.

Facing the house-to-house battles, soldiers are constantly in harm's way. The policies in place and those being weighed now seem only to pull in directions with little advantage for the U.S., our allies and the Iraqis.

In short, the U.S. is in one hell of a mess and clear decisive policies to resolving the war are still elusive. At the very best, the report may perhaps open the eyes wide shut at the White House -- but I doubt seriously if anyone can achieve that.

Wedding Day

There are some recent events which need/deserve blog attention this weekend.

However, real life is interfering. That means I am going to Chattanooga this morning for the wedding of my niece. And I do wish her much happiness.

The will of the triad of my mother, my sister and her daughter is indeed a mighty thing. So I'm suiting up and going in.

UPDATE: In addition to the wedding in Chattanooga, which was a very nice time and my niece was looking even more exceptional than ever, my extended family grew via the wedding (also on the 9th) in Nashville of my brother-in-law, a most excellent fellow who once made me welcome for a long stay in Manhattan, and is one of the newest and bestest songwriters working the Nashville music scene. And his bride is an aspiring screenwriter. So the family kinda doubled in size yesterday. Yay for all of us!!

Camera Obscura - Classic TV on DVD, Christmas Movie Advent

The complete first seasons of two classic TV series arrive finally, and both are must haves.

One is fascinating for capturing the high points and the low for a show that started out as a kind of underground oddity and has become an international giant of entertainment. I do recall very well that first night when NBC aired a show they called only "NBC's Saturday Night" with the Not Ready For Prime Time Players. Putting together the entire 1st season of SNL (and other season sets will follow) was too long in arriving. The show has forever changed television.


The first few seasons all looked as if it had been made in small nooks and around the edges of the NBC building and it isn't all sheer genius and brilliance. There are clunky skits and odd scenes, but the show was almost a nearly instant hit, a collection of loose cannons wildly taking shots at television and fame, with eclectic music and much self-parody. They were mavericks and outsiders, lumping together college style comedy and outrageously bizarre short films with performers singing musical standards and unknown musicians getting their first national exposure.

It was an evolving show too, from the credits design to the structure of opening monologues and the Weekend Update news satire. Hosts, like Richard Pryor, frightened the NBC suits. If you've read any of the so-called histories of the show, you know too that backstage chaos was constant (as was the drug and alcohol).

------

Also new to DVD is the complete first season of "Mission:Impossible" and within that first season are the reasons why the show has remained so popular that almost 40 years later audiences flock to the movies with that title today.

Intense action, serious writing and storytelling made with style and rapid-fire editing. The show made a template still being followed by other shows, like "24" and even "Lost."

Fans and newcomers alike can see that first season headed by actor Steven Hill as Dan Briggs, as the character of Mr. Phelps played by Peter Graves did not arrive until season two.

It was those other actors and characters that made the show most watchable - Martin Landau, Barbara Bain, Greg Morris and Peter Lupus. The scam everyone, including the audience, in spy games and disguises with ultra-cool attitude and backed by a music theme which is still a part of the movie franchise today.

------

Thanks to the intrepid Cinemonkey, I can point you to a web site which has an Advent Calendar where you can open the li'l doors on the calendar for each day of December and read about a movie to encourage a Christmasy mood.

Check it out here.

Some movies on this list I truly do NOT like however - such as "Home Alone". I thought the whole movie was vapid and dull and, let's be honest, it is also rather sadistic as the Boy Left Alone (not saying his name, sorry) beats and brutalizes some would-be thieves. Just not my idea of 'holiday fun'.



Also - they leave off some movies which I think are great films to bring out that holiday cheer. The 2003 comedy "Elf" is infectious fun with Will Ferrell as the overgrown elf with an addiction to syrup and sugar. Another movie worth the time to watch is "A Christmas Story' -- overplayed to death on TV, I can still enjoy it for many reasons -- Scott Farkus fears and the fishnet hose clad female leg lamp, which the Dad calls "a major award" and the Mom secretly destroys. And where are movie versions of "A Christmas Carol"??

The photo here is via the Tennessee Christmas Tree Growers Association, a site to tell you where you can get the finest in locally grown trees for the holidays.

------

Do you have a holiday movie favorite?

------

Mention must be made of the dangers of the Wii Game Console, which will be under many a Christmas Tree this year. Be careful with the dang thing, people!

Actually, the danger is in the controller for the game - seems some people using this wireless controller have gotten so intense during gameplay that they have snapped the wrist-loop on the controller and smashed in their TVs and other household items.

A website devoted to such events is here, where they have gotten the attention of Nintendo's executives, who promise a better wrist-loop is on the way.

------

On the way for 2008 -- the long-awaited movie version of the Stephen Kind/Peter Straub fantasy novel "The Talisman." The TNT network and producer Steven Spielberg will create the mini-series!

We Have A RoboWinner!

Congratulations goes to a reader here, known as CarpenterJD, whose entry into the Win A RoboReptile Contest was short, sweet and ridden with longing for the new toy. He wrote:

"I would like to win the Robo-reptile because I am a frustrated adult/child that still loves to play with toys. Besides, when I was a youngster it was implied that in my adult years I would be aided by robots and flying cars. I have seen neither & I would love to have just a small sample of what life would be like with a Robo-reptile."

'Nuff said, CarpenterJD. Look for the RoboReptile in your mailbox!

My thanks to the DiscoveryStore and the folks at Wowee Toys and with Buzztone marketing for offering readers here this free electronic robotic marvel.

And thanks to all the other readers who submitted entries, too!

Mmmmmm, Hydrogenated .....

Most of us have no idea if or when we consume foods which are made using the now-nefarious partially hydrogentated vegetable oil. Brittney has an interesting post today about the current trend to ban the use of trans fats in food and says:

"The restaurant I used to work at fried their frozen crinkle fries in a vat full of trans fats, and they were awesome. Did I eat them every day? I wanted to, but I didn't. Did I eat them once a week? Hell yes, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I can't believe I'm saying this, it's such a cliche, but everything in moderation. Cigarettes should not be banned, even though you shouldn't smoke them regularly. Same goes for trans fats. I can't believe I'm saying this either, but at what point does personal responsibility for one's diet come into play?"

Some communities and some corporations and some countries are actively banning artificial trans fat usage. Web sites are devoted to the ban. Apparently, it all started with Crisco.

But given the vast number of processed foods, is a label on the side with content ingredients via percentages and small typefaces going to be read by a consumer?

If personal choice of foods is to be maintained, will you soon by asked by food service workers, "Would you like an extra hydrogen atom with that??"

Win A Free RoboReptile!! UPDATE

UPDATE: An Executive Committee meeting of the writers and owners of this blog (me) made a recommendation to alter this contest -- if you'd like to one of these robotic toys, just submit in the comments on this post why you should be the winner.

No Poems, no Essays, No Manifestos, No Power Point Presentations.

Just 25 words or less on why you should be the winner. TIP: If there is only one entry in the comments as of noon Friday, December 8 -- guess what, you'll be the winner!! More than one entry means winners will be selected by me, for whatever reasons I determine to be valid.

As for the 'write a poem' idea, it was not mine. I appreciate very much the efforts on behalf of those offering this Free Christmas Gift from Wowee Toys, but the poem thing just had to go.

Now - more hyping of the product you could win!!!! END UPDATE

All week you can register here for a chance to win a free RoboReptile just in time for Christmas. What is a RoboReptile? Check out the video below and read on to see how you can own one!



Thanks to the folks at the Discovery Store for offering this free, much anticipated and highly rated robotic toy. (Winner of Toy of the Year Award from Child Magazine.)

How can you be the winner? Simple. You enter by writing in the comments on this post why you should be the winner of this unique robotic, prehistoric toy. Just put your thoughts down and all entries will be sent to the RoboReptile campaign for use in their advertising campaign. Fame may at last be yours!

RoboReptile is a fully-programmable 28-inch long toy with remote controls. It whips it's head and tail around as it searches for food or explores the world around it. It's very reptilian face has mouthful of rubber teeth and can jump, lunge, hop on it's rear feet and has infared sensors to see and sonic sensors which make it respond to the sounds around it. Oh and it is a hungry, aggressive critter.

The remote has multiple functions, allowing you to "feed" it, guide it around a room, set it on guard mode and even a volume control for it's roaring and snarling. It also comes with a hood to slip over it's head so you can get some rest from time to time too. Explore more about the RoboReptile here at the Discovery Store.

And again, to enter, just leave in the comments on this post why you'd be the perfect owner, or how your home needs a predatory robot. It's up to you! You can put entries here up until noon EST Friday, December 8th and I'll post the winner's name and poem later Friday afternoon. PLEASE: entries must include an email address so I can contact you and have RoboReptile shipped directly to your home.

If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer those as well. The toy is NOT recommended for children under the age of 8. Children over the age of 8, such as myself, will love it.

Forgotten Christmas Music and TV

Ah, the holidaze returns.

A dizzy collection of rare (or maybe just forgotten) Christmas music MP3s can be found at Check The Cool Wax, which includes merry tunes from Tex Ritter, Pee-Wee Herman, a Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman Christmas caper, Liberace's dramatic re-telling of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, links to sites so you can find that fabled favorite of your Christmas Past and enough odd TV and rare albums to satisfy everyone.

Christmas special on TV are an American combo as good as Egg and Nog (and other ingredients). What other seasonal event could have ever brought together Bing Crosby and David Bowie? A TV Christmas episode is mandatory broadcasting.

Vast collections of music and personal videos await you in the Galaxy of YouTube, as well. This compilation of Christmas specials from The Simpsons is one of my favorites. Includes unaired version of Bart's Christmas Rap.

Jowlers and Peep-Jousting

The dog was watching "White Christmas" the other night. I took it for a sign.

It's a sign of a 21st century life - all new and fancy and rich with ways to cross over through the media looking glass and poke around like casual citizen scientists in a new frontier.

Here are two discoveries I made as the dog's tounge lolled at Rosemary Clooney and Bing Croby.

1.) Jowlers - Where Distortion is Cause For Celebration. There's plenty of pictures and a how-to guide. I'm thinking this is the way to craft a Christmas email this year. A Sample?



2.) Peep-Jousting. We should decide wars and elections this way, perhaps introduce it to the Middle East. Seems as likely to succeed as current efforts. Explanation: Three things are neeeded - Peeps, Toothpicks and A Microwave. Explore here.

Vote Scandal Ends With Guilty Pleas

The former mayor pled guilty to 233 counts on charges related to the voting fraud fiasco in 2004 in the town of Appalachia. I first mentioned the case earlier this year. A host of charges emerged during the presentation of the case, including tampering with absentee ballots and trading bags of pork rinds for votes.

The Kingsport-Times News has a wrap-up of the case here. Look like just about all those involved in an attempted grab for power in the town of Appalachia have all confessed to their crimes.

Former mayor Ben Cooper's attorney, Patty Church, told the press her client was no political kingpin, however.

"Cooper was "not really a Boss Hogg, and his '‘kingdom' was more like Larry, Curly and Moe," she said of a conspiracy that unraveled after a voter complained that she was not allowed to vote at the polls, having been informed she had already voted by absentee ballot. The voter knew otherwise."

Cooper faces a possible 21 months in jail and over $80,000 in court costs.