Losing

For a day or two now I've been trying to find the language to express just how distorted and lost my home has become. My home was once a revolutionary country - one with problems aplenty as history shows. But it was revolutionary because it was a defender of Liberty and Freedom and bound by laws. In the scope of human history, I told myself in search of some comfort, America did much in a very short time.

In civics and history classes, the ideas and ideals which were the bedrock of America were constant. Flaws were found, for they exist in even the best of intentions, but I saw a country moving into such better reckoning, realizing that not just landowners and not just white males had Liberty, Freedom and lawful protection. For a while, it was as if the vast majority of this country both understood that and worked ceaselessly to achieve it.

Now the thoughts in our national capitol and in the minds of too many well-educated citizens are tuned to a single note - Fear.

Leaders locally and nationally have shown contempt for our bedrock ideals. The most unnerving and shocking example of this is tucked away in a bill quietly signed into law by President Bush - a worthy bill containing pay increases for the military, accountability for (some) government contractors, better housing a military bases.

But then there's this section which leaps backwards hundreds of years - a little paragraph which eliminates the rights of states and grants to the President and the President alone authority to send in military troops into any town, city or state, regardless of whether a town city or state requests or requires such might.

Public Law 109-364, in Section 333 states:

"The President may employ the armed forces, including the National Guard in Federal service, to--

`(A) restore public order and enforce the laws of the United States when, as a result of a natural disaster, epidemic, or other serious public health emergency, terrorist attack or incident, or other condition in any State or possession of the United States, the President determines that--

`(i) domestic violence has occurred to such an extent that the constituted authorities of the State or possession are incapable of maintaining public order; and

`(ii) such violence results in a condition described in paragraph (2); or

`(B) suppress, in a State, any insurrection, domestic violence, unlawful combination, or conspiracy if such insurrection, violation, combination, or conspiracy results in a condition described in paragraph (2).

`(2) A condition described in this paragraph is a condition that--

`(A) so hinders the execution of the laws of a State or possession, as applicable, and of the United States within that State or possession, that any part or class of its people is deprived of a right, privilege, immunity, or protection named in the Constitution and secured by law, and the constituted authorities of that State or possession are unable, fail, or refuse to protect that right, privilege, or immunity, or to give that protection; or

`(B) opposes or obstructs the execution of the laws of the United States or impedes the course of justice under those laws.

`(3) In any situation covered by paragraph (1)(B), the State shall be considered to have denied the equal protection of the laws secured by the Constitution.

The Senate passed this unanimously. 23 members of Congress voted against it. Since the bill contains regulations on hundreds of changes, I'm sure some would say that "overall, this is a good bill." That is a sheer lie:

"On September 19th, a lone Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) noted that 2007's Defense Authorization Act contained a "widely opposed provision to allow the President more control over the National Guard [adopting] changes to the Insurrection Act, which will make it easier for this or any future President to use the military to restore domestic order WITHOUT the consent of the nation's governors."

Senator Leahy went on to stress that, "we certainly do not need to make it easier for Presidents to declare martial law. Invoking the Insurrection Act and using the military for law enforcement activities goes against some of the central tenets of our democracy. One can easily envision governors and mayors in charge of an emergency having to constantly look over their shoulders while someone who has never visited their communities gives the orders."

A few weeks later, on the 29th of September, Leahy entered into the Congressional Record that he had "grave reservations about certain provisions of the fiscal Year 2007 Defense Authorization Bill Conference Report," the language of which, he said, "subverts solid, longstanding posse comitatus statutes that limit the military's involvement in law enforcement, thereby making it easier for the President to declare martial law." This had been "slipped in," Leahy said, "as a rider with little study," while "other congressional committees with jurisdiction over these matters had no chance to comment, let alone hold hearings on, these proposals."

More here.

I know some may argue that the failure of the Federal response to Hurricane Katrina makes such changes necessary. But let's remember that this president staffed FEMA's leadership with idiots who had zero working knowledge of responding to natural disaster. Hundreds of long-time FEMA staffers quit their jobs in disgust and, no surprise, the argument was then made that FEMA should just be a part of Homeland Security -- which is now responsible for flu vaccines and responses to tornadoes and ... what was that other thing?? Oh, yeah, Terrorism.

My home, my country, was once known as the "home of the brave."

Today, it is home of the terrified.

So terrified, that both leaders and citizens are willing to abandon any belief or any law if they feel, for the moment, it might provide an illusion of safety. They have abandoned reason.

I do understand know why so many voices on Right-Wing Radio and Newspapers and Cable networks and Blogs all sound as if they are shrieks of fear. They are fearful. And they appear to fear everything.

They have no confidence in themselves, their country, in Liberty or Freedom or Law. In their hearts, they feel only loss and terror.

Such people are like those who are drowning, and when a rescuer appears to help them, they will likely attempt to drown that person as well due to their relentless panic.

YouTube Yanks Comedy Central Clips

It really isn't a surprise to me that video clips are being yanked off YouTube within days of their purchase by Google. One can imagine Google's attorneys wailing and warning about copyright lawsuits -- something I'm sure they did before the purchase. And I imagine the meetings ended with "we'll deal with that AFTER we buy them."

Via Digg today, reports claim YouTube is yanking clips from Comedy Central's "The Daily Show", The Colbert Report" and "South Park."

I did a bit of checking today and found that many older clips are currently available, but many recent clips are now gone. Given that thousands and thousands of clips are available, it may take them some time to remove them all.

Lawyers cited the dreaded Digital Millenium Copyright Act as justification for the removal. The far-reaching law can also prevent industry professionals from even speaking at conferences about issues related to digital research. More here.

So until the clips are all gone, here is a fine conversation between Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert of the Real Threat in America - bloggers:

Camera Obscura - Top Funny Horror Movies

When the holiday of Halloween occurs so close to an election day, it's rather difficult to conjure creeps and shivers which could compete with candidates and nefarious unnamed committees

Given the surreal absurdity of politics and the dread of the voter, it seems a fine time to offer a list of some of the Funniest Horror Movies. Please feel free to add your favorites. Oh, and just because the movies mentioned here do have humorous qualities - some can still scare you witless.

THE TOP TEN

10. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE -- I never tire of watching this aberrant attempt at filmmaking. It truly is so awful it is completely hilarious. The writing, the acting, the sets, the narration, the plot, just every thing about it will make anyone laugh. Can anyone even understand a word that Tor Johnson says? Rumor has it that the TV host Vampira spoke no words in the movie because she said the writing was so bad it could ruin her career to utter the lines. Like many a classic comedy, it gets funnier every time you watch it. The pie-plate flying saucers on strings wiggling across the tiny sets, the shower curtain that serves as a doorway to an airplane cockpit and lines like:

"Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots.
Jeff Trent: Now you just hold on, Buster "

Sheer genius.

9. BEETLEJUICE - A box office hit with bona fide stars, directed by Tim Burton, this movie has much in it's favor - like The Handbook For The Recently Deceased, which reads like "stereo instructions." I also liked the football team killed in a crash who just can't fathom that they are dead. Great satire on many levels, and the scabby, crusty Beetlejuice performance from Michael Keaton: "I got demons runnin' alll through me!!"

8. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD - This movie's ending gets really scary, but what fun to be had along the way! Start with the medical warehouse where the movie is set as actor James Karen goes into a screaming panic when he realizes a canister containing a zombie has broken open. Karen nearly steals this movie, closely followed by actor Don Calfa as a mortician who reluctantly agrees to help burn the pieces of a zombie in his crematory - which creates an instant rainstorm which brings even more zombies back to life. Famous for the introduction of the line "Braaaaaaains" from a zombie, and my favorite, when a zombie gets on the radio from an ambulance and says "Send more paramedics!"

7. EVIL DEAD 2 - Yes, numbers 7 and 6 are pretty much a tie for Sam Raimi's hilarious antics of poor Ash (Bruce Campbell) fighting off demons from some comedy one-liner Hell. Make no mistake, Campbell turns in a performance worthy of Harold Lloyd or Buster Keaton or any comic legend. He cuts off his demon-possessed hand, then has to chase it all over the house as it taunts him and makes goofy noises. Prior to cutting it off, the hand proceeds to bash the hell out of Ash's head with so many dinner plates you'd think this cabin he's in is a warehouse for a restaurant. Gory and comedy non-stop.

6. ARMY OF DARKNESS - And Campbell and director Raimi don't stop - poor Ash is sucked into a demon dimension and of course Prophecy says he will save the medieval world he is trapped in. He is attacked by tiny two-inch high Ash-clones, has his faced nearly sucked into a demon vortex and has a shotgun on one hand and a chainsaw welded to the other. Plus, he wows the crowds with lines like:

"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You *got* that?"

5. DEAD-ALIVE - Before he fund fame as the director of "Lord of the Rings", Peter Jackson made some very strange, very funny and very gory movies. Bitten by a Giant Rat of Sumatra, the hero's mom turns into a flesh-eating zombie, which our hero tries to protect. Bad idea. Plenty of jokes are here, especially the local preacher, Father McGruder, who fights the zombies with his kung-fu skills. Oh and there is the scene where the hero takes a roaring lawnmower to a room full of zombies. Unforgettable (but be warned - this is a clear-the-room gorefest).

4. HIDE AND CREEP - Made in Alabama a few years ago for about $1.95 and cheered by Kevin Smith, the story presents a simple set-up. What happens when the dead begin to come to life in a town full of dim-witted hicks? Lots of zombie-movie jokes and it may be the first movie to be labeled a "zomcom."

3. GHOSTBUSTERS - Another big box office hit, with a hilarious script ("Here's your mucus, Egon!") and many other quotable lines. It's a modern version of the old Bob Hope horror comedy "Ghostbreakers", plus it spawned a terrible sequel and an animated series. And that song that Would Not Die.

2. SHAUN OF THE DEAD - If you haven't seen this one, run as fast as your feets can go and grab a copy. This British comedy makes it quite clear that it is rather difficult to determine just who a zombie might be as so many people drift so lifelessly thru the day. Once our "heroes" figure out what's happening, their plan is ... well, not so much a plan as a desire to hide out in a pub. And even in the worst of times, there is always time for friends to argue.

1. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN - A masterwork of moviemaking from Mel Brooks, which makes careful homage to all the old Universal horror movies of the 30s and 40s. And it's "Fronkenstein!" And of course, "Eyegore" and not "Igor."
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If you are rushed for time and don't have the chance to see a full length horror comedy, then try this one out - "Night of the Living Dead" in 30 seconds acted by bunnies.

"Masters of Horror" Back For 2nd Season

Ah, Halloween - the annual return of, as AT said, "the best banner ever!"

Thanks, AT - it was created for just this holiday last year by The Editor.

And it serves to herald the return of an excellent series of one-hour specials on Showtime, which begins again on Friday the 27th of October. I've got a full rundown of episodes and info about each show. And how best to introduce these fright-fests featuring the work of Dario Argento, Tobe Hooper and more? Why, via the pen of William Shakespeare, who wrote:

" 'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world."




Ok, now the episodes:

Oct. 27th -

“The Damned Thing” by R.C. Matheson. - 10/27/2006

An unknown monstrous force descends upon a small Texas town, turning husband against wife, brother against sister, parent against child. Tortured by his own tragic past, Sheriff Kevin Reddle (SEAN PATRICK FLANERY) must overcome his horrific rage if he is to restore order. MARISA COUGHLAN and TED RAIMI also star in this apocalyptic tale of terror.

Tobe Hooper (“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “Poltergeist”) directs.

Nov. 3 -

“Family” by Brent Hanley. - 11/3/2006

The Fullers (MEREDITH MONROE and MATT KEESLAR), a young married couple, move to a new town and discovers that their neighbor, Harold Thompson (GEORGE WENDT), is not what he seems. He putters away at his hobbies; however, his passion is anything but innocent. The Fullers will soon know what evil lurks in the depth of suburban basements.

John Landis (“American Werewolf in London ,” “Thriller”) directs.

Nov. 10 -

“The V Word” by Mick Garris. -11/10/2006

When two teenage boys break into a mortuary in hope of seeing a dead body, the macabre punishment visited upon them will far outweigh their crime. Instead of fulfilling their morbid curiosity, the boys are attacked by a rampaging vampire (MICHAEL IRONSIDE) and must ultimately decide whether to sacrifice themselves or survive as blood-thirsty killers.

Ernest Dickerson (“Bones,” “Demon Knight”) directs.

Nov. 17 -

“Sounds Like" by Brad Anderson- 11/17/2006

Quality control supervisor Larry Pearce (CHRIS BAUER) spends his days monitoring the nuances of his tech support staff's telephone conversations… listening is his life. However, when grief over his son's death leads to a supernaturally heightened sense of sound, Larry is forced to take violent action to silence the horrific cacophony in his head. Its “The Tell-Tale Heart” meets “The Conversation” in this tale of psychological terror based on Mike O'Driscoll's short story. LAURA MARGOLIS also stars.

Brad Anderson (“The Machinist,” “Session 9”) directs.

Nov 24 -

“Pro-Life” by Drew McWeeny & Scott Swan - 11/24/2006

A near-accident on an isolated mountain road lands young Angelique (CAITLIN WACHS) in a nearby women's health clinic. As her fervently anti-abortion father Dwayne (RON PERLMAN) and his well-armed three sons attempt to “liberate” Angelique, she discovers that the only thing more dangerous than her would-be saviors is the demonic seed growing within her. MARK FEUERSTEIN and EMMANUELLE VAUGIER also star.

John Carpenter (“Halloween,” “The Thing”) directs.

Dec. 1 -

“Pelts” by Matt Venne.- 12/1/2006

Fur trader Jake Feldman (MEATLOAF) knows that you can't make a coat without breaking a few animals' necks. In his pursuit to make the perfect fur coat to win over a woman, Feldman steals supernatural raccoon pelts that violently turn against those that covet them. “The skin trade” gets a whole new twist in this Giallo-style adaptation of F. Paul Wilson's short story. JOHN SAXON also stars.

Dario Argento (“Suspiria,” “Terror at the Opera”) directs.

Dec. 8 -

“The Screwfly Solution” by Sam Hamm. - 12/8/2006

Based on the short story by Raccoona Sheldon, a deadly virus infects the nation, transforming men into psychotic killers who attack every woman that crosses their paths. A suburban housewife and her teenage daughter embark on a treacherous journey to survive, but how can they protect themselves from an entire gender gone mad? JASON PRIESTLY and ELLIOT GOULD star.

Joe Dante (“The Howling,” “Gremlins”) directs.

The official link to the Showtime site is here.

Other entries include an adapation of a David Schow story directed by Tom Holland, and Stuart Gordon is adapting Poe's "The Black Cat" which he will also direct.

Ban! You're It!

I imagine in the future a statue will be created (by committee of the self-congratulatory) to honor the parents who decided the childhood game of Tag was The Most Dangerous Game.

Now if we can just create a state or federal law to prevent children from falling down -- and why not a Ban on The Wedgie? Just imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth from lawyers and inattentive parents such an act will provide.

And this whole "recess" idea is surely a commie-liberal plot to enforce class warfare, isn't it?

Studies in early childhood development offer a variety of reasons "recess" provides vital constructive education:


"The delights of the outdoors are among the deepest, most passionate joys of childhood; however increasing demands on parents working outside of the home have resulted in growing numbers of children with less time to play under adult supervision in their neighborhoods or in their yards. Instead, they are spending more time behind locked doors watching television, playing video and computer games, and as recent studies have shown, growing obese. Other children often have afternoon schedules full of structured activities, including music, dance instruction, drama classes, and tennis lessons.

Compounding the dilemma is a trend among many public school districts throughout the United States to eliminate recess in elementary schools. Those doing away with outdoor activity claim that it is a waste of time better spent on academics, that playground injuries promote lawsuits, that children are at an increased risk of coming in contact with threatening strangers while outdoors, and that there is a shortage of teachers and volunteers willing to supervise play activities.

While these concerns are valid, school recess is often the only time during the work week that children are able to be carefree--a time when their bodies and voices are not under tight control.

It is a widely held view that unstructured physical play is a developmentally appropriate outlet for reducing stress in children's lives, and research shows that physical activity improves children's attentiveness and decreases restlessness. Following are a few reasons why school administrators should carefully consider the benefits of outdoor play before eliminating recess from their curriculum.

1. Play is an active form of learning that unites the mind, body, and spirit. Until at least the age of nine, children's learning occurs best when the whole self is involved.
2. Play reduces the tension that often comes with having to achieve or needing to learn. In play, adults do not interfere and children relax.
3. Children express and work out emotional aspects of everyday experiences through unstructured play.
4. Children permitted to play freely with peers develop skills for seeing things through another person's point of view--cooperating, helping, sharing, and solving problems.
5. The development of children's perceptual abilities may suffer when so much of their experience is through television, computers, books, worksheets, and media that require only two senses. The senses of smell, touch, and taste, and the sense of motion through space are powerful modes of learning.
6. Children who are less restricted in their access to the outdoors gain competence in moving through the larger world. Developmentally, they should gain the ability to navigate their immediate environs (in safety) and lay the foundation for the courage that will enable them eventually to lead their own lives.

Our society has become increasingly complex, but there remains a need for every child to feel the sun and wind on his cheek and engage in self paced play. Children's attempts to make their way across monkey bars, negotiate the hopscotch course, play jacks, or toss a football require intricate behaviors of planning, balance, and strength--traits we want to encourage in children. Ignoring the developmental functions of unstructured outdoor play denies children the opportunity to expand their imaginations beyond the constraints of the classroom.

Ban the Ban!

Speaker Hastert Gives Davis A Boost

Forget all the scandals, forget the stunts Speaker Hastert made to hide the scandals of poor Mark Foley, forget the failures in Iraq, just ignore all the failures of the GOP and just send GOP Congressional 1st District candidate Davis into office because .... well, he's a Republican.

Given that few if any GOP candidates want Hastert anywhere near their campaigns, Davis cozied up to Davis for one purpose - raise money,

"The Illinois Republican, after speaking to about 500 Northeast Tennessee Republicans on behalf of 1st Congressional District GOP nominee David Davis, said the war and Foley scandal are overshadowing Republicans' good job performance with the economy."But, yeah, I think we can hold on to the majority," said Hastert, who indicated he would like to run for House speaker again.

TN Democrat chairman, Bob Tuke, on the other hand, spoke about the massive failures of the Hastert leadership:

"Hastert has been the guiding hand over a U.S. House that is rank with corruption. From the financial misdeeds of (former lobbyist) Jack Abramoff, (former congressmen) '‘Duke' Cunningham, and Bob Ney to the reprehensible sexual misconduct of Mark Foley, Hastert and his people have run wild," Tuke said. "They thumb their noses at our values, and they have no respect for common decency. ... Do these Republicans believe in honesty and decency in government or do they believe in allowing unscrupulous lobbyists, sexual predators and common criminals to control our Capitol? Only they can tell us."

If it weren't for those pesky reporters, Davis says, why then everything would be hunky dory:

"I'm proud to have a speaker who will stand up and do what's right," Davis said of Hastert. "It amazes me how some of the national media will make an issue. There was a congressman from Florida who did something wrong. I'm proud to have a speaker on my side of the aisle that will stand up and do what's right. ..

Putting Out Fire With Gasoline

I'm stunned by the monumental change in America which has occurred, the fundamentals of Liberty thrown away as if it were a hot coal burning our hands, that we are in such unrelenting fear of the Bogeyman we approve of discarding hundreds of years of legal protection and in return, gain ... what?

Legislation crafted by our own representatives in Congress, eagerly signed by the President, allows for anyone to be held in a prison with no formal charge, no review by any court, only the whim of the president determines your fate.

How long before I too will be considered a threat for asking questions about the legality of these acts, for having doubts, for expressing them out loud, for not thinking in accordance with despotic demands?

It is slightly encouraging to note some Americans, other than wacky folks such as myself, see the critical dangers in what has happened. And they see the "national yawn" as a threat too. Jonathon Turley, Constitutional Law professor at George Washington University spoke with Keith Olberman about this -

"And it'’s a huge sea change for our democracy. The framers created a system where we did not have to rely on the good graces or good mood of the president. In fact, Madison said that he created a system essentially to be run by devils, where they could not do harm, because we didn'’t rely on their good motivations.

Now we must. And people have no idea how significant this is. What, really, a time of shame this is for the American system. What the Congress did and what the president signed today essentially revokes over 200 years of American principles and values.

It couldn'’t be more significant. And the strange thing is, we'’ve become sort of constitutional couch potatoes. I mean, the Congress just gave the president despotic powers, and you could hear the yawn across the country as people turned to, you know, '“Dancing with the Stars.'” I mean, it'’s otherworldly."

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"Well, this is going to go down in history as one of our greatest self-inflicted wounds. And I think you can feel the judgment of history. It won'’t be kind to President Bush.

But frankly, I don'’t think that it will be kind to the rest of us. I think that history will ask, Where were you? What did you do when this thing was signed into law? There were people that protested the Japanese concentration camps, there were people that protested these other acts. But we are strangely silent in this national yawn as our rights evaporate."

Senator Russ Feingold was one of the few who spoke to prevent this measure -

At times of great adversity, the strength of a nation'’s convictions is tested and its true character revealed. If we sacrifice or qualify our principles in the face of the tremendous challenge we face from terrorists who want to destroy America, we will be making a terrible mistake. If we cloak cruel or degrading interrogations done in the name of American safety with euphemisms like '“alternative techniques,'” if we create arbitrary dates for when differing degrees of morality will apply, we will have betrayed our principles and ourselves.

Outside the U.S., this overwhelming reversal of Freedom and Liberty is likewise taking place, and fortunately, questions are being raised -

"There will be many reasonable people among you who will argue that the fight against terrorism or some other compelling problem makes the removal of a fragment of liberty the best option available to us. A little bit here, a little bit there doesn't really matter, particularly when it involves somebody else's rights. Without thinking very deeply, we say to ourselves "if you've done nothing wrong you've got nothing to fear from these new laws". Not true. There is something to fear - because someone else's liberty is also your liberty. When it's removed from them, it's taken from you even though you may not be able to conceive of the circumstances when you might need it."

Today, I can freely express my grave concerns. As for tomorrow .....

Camera Obscura - Flags of Iwo Jima, TN Horror Movies, and Super Chicks of "Pussycat"

It makes me mad enough to bite a pig. This week I've learned there are remakes ahead for "The Birds" and the cult classic vampire film "Near Dark", all under the unsteady camera hand of producer Michael Bay. Yeah, take movies that are pitch-perfect and brilliantly made and screw them all up (see Bay's remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre.")

I know it's a time-honored Hollywood tradition to remake movies, but there is no way to improve Hitchcock. Period. (For example, Gus Van Sant's remake of "Psycho" was shot-for-shot the same and Van Sant said he remade it just for one reason - so it would be "in color". Lame, lame, lame.) And while "Near Dark" deserves wider audiences, the best way to see both of these movies is too just watch them.

I've got an idea for Bay - remake yer own drivel, like "Armageddon" and try and make it a good movie.

In the Good News Dept., I have really been enjoying the film reviews offered by Jim Ridley for Nashville Scene. His take on this weekend's release of "Flags of Our Fathers" by Clint Eastwood is a fine example, and his headline "Print The Legend", is reference to one of John Ford's best movies about mythmaking, "Man Who Shot Liberty Valence." Ridley writes of "Flags":

"The landing on Iwo Jima is a master class in controlled chaos, as machine-gun bullets stream out of camouflaged Japanese pillboxes and mortar fire turns human bodies into sizzling piles of flesh and bone. But the most surreal, unsettling images in Flags come later, when Bradley, Gagnon and Hayes are pressed into reenacting their storied feat as a vaudeville spectacle -—and when, at a celebratory dinner, they see the huddled likeness of themselves and their fallen brothers transformed into an ice-cream sculpture."

Eastwood once again is offering a serious Oscar contender with this movie, which will once again pit him against Martin Scorsese and "The Departed." These two American legends duked it out at the Oscars with "Million Dollar Baby" and "The Aviator." I was amazed "Baby" won out - until I watched it and was blown away by Eastwood's skillful work. But c'mon - Marty deserves a win and has for some time. Since he is a New Yorker and Eastwood worked his way up in Hollywood, Eastwood has the edge. And if you haven't seen "The Aviator," you've missed a fine feature about movie-making, madness and one of the most interesting bio-pics I've seen in years.

Meanwhile, Ridley has another fine story on the locally made horror film "Blood Oath" and it's upcoming premiere. The movie will unspool as part of the October Comic Horror Fest 2006 which starts tomorrow. AnotherTennesseee-made horror feature "The Deepening," starring Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen, will also be shown at the Fest. Ridley can tell how you chitlins are a vital part of horror movie effects.

TONIGHT - WELL, EARLY SATURDAY MORNING

Do whatever is necessary to see two movies airing at 2 a.m Saturday morning on Turner Classic Movies, as Rob Zombie hosts Underground, a collection of great American midnight movie style features. Tonight's double bill is cult hit "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" followed by "Mudhoney", both by Russ Meyer.

I saw "Pussycat" a few years ago in re-release and it is hilarious and innovative and - well, here, let the women who made the movies tell you about it --



ALL TV, ALL ONLINE

TV and Anime fans rejoice. "Lost", "My Name Is Earl" and even two seasons of "Freakazoid" are now yours!!!

Super-toon extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Go here for the link to all the shows you can watch online.
UPDATE: Sorry, but that link is now dead and no sign of it anywhere online. Dammit!

Rides around in the Freakmobile
Freakazoid! Freakazoo!
Hopes to make a movie deal
Freaka me! Freaka you!

LEARNING TO WRITE FOR TV

An onlne blog with info on what it's like to write for TV, write a spec script and many insider tips comes from writer Jane Espenson, one of the writers of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", "Gilmore Girls" and much more. Her page is here. And you're welcome.

Scarlett Johansson Does Tom Waits?

Time for some pop culture.

Headlines and rumors are being made about actress Scarlett Johansson taking a turn as a singer, signing a record deal with Rhino Records for an album of tunes by Tom Waits.

Earvolution has some of the details of the story and includes an MP3 link so you can hear Scarlett getting all smoky-voiced in a rendention of the tune "Summertime."

Want this story to get even more weird? FOX News broke the story. Rumors also say she was very much in demand for a restaging of "The Sound of Music." Ugh. Tom Waits is much better.

Dear God, I've written a celebrity gossip post. And a link to FOX. I am going to Blogger Hell for sure now.

Election Time In Tennessee!

Some quick hits on the election now underway --

Enclave picks out a telling Congressional vote cast by Senate candidate Harold Ford Jr.:

"After much thought, I have decided that I cannot in good conscience vote for a man who supports the notion of detaining American citizens without the writ of habeas corpus. My Democratic friends need not bother to tell me how important taking back Congress in November is. Taking back Congress matters little to me when we face a bleak future of omnipotent Bush-picked tribunals declaring anyone an "unlawful enemy combatant." Congress has made itself moot in such a world."

State pundits and bloggers participate in a lively political roundtable about the Tennessee Senate race. Go listen!

From Facing South, R. Neal has a post about the whirlwind Religious Right campaign via the dubious James Dobson to support a referendum on Tennessee's ballot to amend the constitution. The proposed change is totally unwarranted and unnecessary - there's already a law on the books stating that marriage is defined to be between a man and a woman. I see no reason for this referendum other than to scare up some voters who fear "The Gays". So vote no.

The other referendum to amend the constitution is a non-binding change that merely opens up the possibility of freezing property taxes for senior citizens -- which could lead to a different tax structure in every county. What's the point of this referendum? Maybe another effort to get a certain group of voters to the polls??

I was reading some numbers on this year's primary for the US Senate and noted that Harold Ford Jr received over 333,000 votes (total votes in the Democrat primary were 415,900) while Corker received just over 230,000 (total votes in the GOP primary were 481,187). This race is soooo close, but I would imagine keeping an eye on which candidate carries Hamilton County may show who the winner will be .... maybe. Ford's number will certainly increase the farther west you travel in Tennessee.

Your predictions are welcome.

Will the Hard Right Win in ET?

A truly lame endorsement for GOP congressional candidate David Davis was supplied by the Bristol Herald-Courier. It's hard to believe that after compiling some wrong-headed ideas Davis holds, they still decided, "hey he's better 'cause he's a Republican."

Some excerpts from their editorial:

"David Davis isn'’t the perfect choice for Congress.

He pushes a hard-right social agenda that even Republican moderates will find difficult to stomach. He won the Republican primary by the narrowest of margins -– edging out several candidates, who although conservative were closer to the political center."
-----
"We disagree with Davis on some of his most extreme social positions, including his desire to rewrite the U.S. Constitution to recognize the Christian God as '“sovereign source of law, liberty and government'."”

Democrat Rick Trent's failing, according to the paper, is that he isn't a long-time political insider. That's a detriment today??

I've said it before - since the 1st District has been the exclusive home for GOP candidates for over 100 years, I doubt any change will be made this year. Even though it is clear change is truly needed in Congress, this race continues to be the least debated and the least discussed.

Trent did get a brief chance to appear with Davis in public to debate issues -- however the event was only before a Rotary Club. Efforts by Trent to promote a televised or at least a "non-club" debate failed. Since Davis and his supporters already consider the race is his by a wide margin, why bother?

A report on the Rotary appearance, though, shows the two are in agreement on most issues - with some key differences. For example, Davis says a border fence will solve illegal immigration problems and Trent says the focus should be on employers who knowingly hire illegals. Trent also urged for a more comprehensive and strategic effort to resolve the war in Iraq.

So was there a fear in the Davis camp that a debate available to all the District might reveal to voters his weaknesses and Trent's strengths?

Sadly, Trent's chances at victory are slim. Public interest in the congressional race is beyond low. The status quo will limp forward from inertia.

A question to consider -- If Davis is elected but Democrats gain control of the House or Senate - can he work effectively to represent the 1st District or will his "hard right" views keep him out of the loop?

Battle of the Keyboards

Information is a weapon of war. Controlling the flow of battlefront details, propaganda made to elicit patriotic fervor or fear, and many other types of info control have been a part of battle since battles began.

Today the internet is part of that battlefield, part of the weapon of information. Blazing hot words have been searing the internet via the so-called warbloggers and peace-bloggers alike. 40 years ago, the battle of words took place on editorial pages of newspapers and magazines, penned by staffers and by the writers of letters to editors. Television took up the role in the 60s and 70s. By the late 1980s and 1990s, the emerging internet became the newest field of conflict and especially since 2001, Americans have been taking their verbiage to the instant, worldwide forums.

I notice it daily, even hourly. Talking points get web placement, and within hours those in support or in opposition repeat or rebuke the information. As Sen. Joe McCarthy proved - all that needs be done to establish credulity is something be said in front of cameras and reporters, fact checking comes much later. As long as it appears somewhere written down some folks take it as gospel truth.

Just last week I was pondering on all the typing at all kinds of blogs about North Korea and their claims of active nuclear programs. All the typing on foreign policy by folks who had an opinion without necessarily having any factual history was rather daunting.

Does all the rhetoric really affect any policy by the U.S. or Korea? I was having much doubt about that and then yesterday I saw some clips from "The War of the Words: The Story of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders" where Paul H. Henry skewers the "courage" and "sacrifice" of bloggers like InstaPundit who advocate war in the mideast. Two clips from the "documentary" are available here.

Or you can watch the first clip below (warning some language is NSFW):



As a longtime journalist who has written both factual reports and opinion pieces, I can assert that caution on the part of the writer is a virtue. Sometimes what you write and the views you promote can really backfire. Hot-blooded emotion has driven much of the writing since 9-11 about foreign policy. As for myself, I tend to wait and process information or learn more on a topic rather than firing off a polemic seconds after some story hits the cable news or the internet. First reports are often shallow and sometimes plain wrong.

But it is plain to me the "fighting keyboarders" are sheer knee-jerk wordsmiths. I see much effort to dredge details after an opinion is offered to shore up credibility. I don't doubt their sincerity, but I hope most readers spend the time to review info from a variety of sources before they worship at some blog altar.

Our government has for many years depended on "propaganda" and a recent creation of "perception management" can be read here in an award-winning report from 2005.

More on this "documentary" can be read here, here and here, where Michael Silence says much with a one-word comment: "Heh!"

Grim Ads In Knoxville Skyline

Anti-abortion protests took to the skies over Knoxville for the last few days with airplanes towing banners with images of a fetus and slogans like "Abortion is Terror." This political advertising has raised some questions in the blog world and this morning was a topic on WNOX-FM as Dave Foulk sat in the chair behind the microphone on the Hallerin Hill show.

Some pertinent questions were raised by the ad - was it appropriate or outside the bounds of taste and decorum? What happens when a young child, uneducated about sex, asks for an explanation of abortion?

Callers to Dave Foulk's show constantly framed their anti-abortion arguments with false language and false arguments, and an eagerness to control human sexuality. When someone calls abortion "killing children" they present a false claim. Children are not aborted. It also isn't "infanticide", as both child and infant are lifeforms outside the womb.

Certainly opponents to legal abortion procedures - and those who made and towed that banner across the sky - have the right to express their opinion. And they also have the right to express it poorly, which they certainly did.

The vast majority of cases involve the aborting of an embryo or a fetus. So I wish these opponents would stick to facts and not fictions like children being aborted. A child could be killed by abuse, but you can't abort a life outside the womb.

Is it or is it not a woman's right to choose? Of course it is - that is the law. And, yes, as some callers noted, is was a choice to have sex to begin with. What amazes me is how little effort is made to promote accurate education about sex, and instead opponents gather at the last stage of a process to demand a different outcome. And as Foulk said, protests outside clinics are rife with vile insults and damnation. Has anyone ever seen a group outside a clinic calmly and clearly informing a potential patient that their group would help find an adoptive home for a newborn? That they weren't there to judge but to help provide a home for a woman and child in great need?

I heard several callers mention "abstinence only" sex education. It is profoundly ignorant to expect humans to abstain from sexual activity. And the results of such activity by those who have never been educated about it clearly leads to not only pregnancy but to disease as well. Groups definitely want to bring images of abortion into the public forum, but no effort is made to insure the public forum includes frank, accurate communication about sex and sexual behavior.

As for the ad itself -- was it too much? If abortion is terror, why is it that the law calls abortion foes who hurl bombs at medical clinics criminals? It's as if they see sex as subversive behavior.

If these foes have the right to take their argument to the skies, then perhaps others should too. I heard several comments today that adults find images of abortion uncomfortable to consider, but that the public needs a non-sanitized perspective.

What then, would be the response if an image of the corpse of an American soldier killed in Iraq were flown in the skies, and the phrase War Is Murder were with it?

George Lucas on The Colbert Report

The best moment on TV this week was on The Colbert Report when George Lucas showed up to show off his entry in The Green Screen Challenge, a set up for viewers to offer their filmmaking skills by including Colbert in a light saber battle against nefarious evils.

George did himself proud and at show's end even battled Colbert mano a mano.

And George's "film" has a hilarious moment when Colbert and Jar Jar talk about politics. Take a look.



And of course, the big news about the internets this week was Google's stock purchase of YouTube. Some, like Atomic Tumor, worry about the course this will take and if it means the death of YouTube.

Since YouTube has recently signed agreements with Universal, Sony, BMG and others to use their materials, and since Google already has similar arrangements with other entertainment companies, I tend to think the average user will benefit from the deal and still be able to access tv and music clips and still upload and enjoy clips of chuckleheads who light their farts.

A interesting debate on the deal can be read at MetaFilter. What surprised me about the deal was that Google, who had enough cash to buy YouTube, decided instead to offer a stock deal. Not so good for current stockholders, great for YouTube's owners.

Also, viewing videos and internet trends can be tracked so well with this new combo, Google appears to have added a massive consumer habits database, which all the companies which hold copyright would dearly love to have. I'd say viral video marketing is going to rise faster than the floodwaters in New Orleans. The New Yorker has more on this ten-month old company.

When Bloggers Gather

What happens when five bloggers from both ends of Tennessee get together?

Amazing times, of course. I had much fun wining and dining with Newscoma, Squirrels on Snark, Juliepatchouli and The Editor. Which means there were often five conversations occurring at once. Strike that, make it five Fascinating conversations at once.

The Editor and I drove up together, and as we were making our way past the County Courthouse in downtown Knoxville, we were stopped at a traffic light and I see this fellow about 50 yards away and I thought "that guy looks like Harold Ford Jr.".

And as we drove past him - it was Harold Ford Jr. I was kinda pleased with myself for being able to recognize him at a distance, made me feel like my keen political senses were operating at a peak efficiency.

And of course, a fine omen of the approval of the Powers That Be for the impending mini-blogfest.

I think I shouted out as we drove past him something like "Harold! Woooooooo!!" to express my political affirmation.

Some highlights of the evening:

- While in the lounge of the hotel we met at, combined Blogging Forces made them to change the bad trapped-in-an-80s-aerobics-class music to jazz. A much needed improvement. Julie said she once worked in that hotel lounge and related an incident involving the purchase of some stereo speakers, which she put in her Ford Escort and which were quite quickly stolen!!

- The lounge was home to a weird collection of books - a novelization of the old TV teen soap opera "Paper Dolls," an action-adventure novelization of the Bobby Sherman TV show "Getting Together", and a comic book adaptation of Dracula by Nestor Redondo. I emphasize was home to such books. (And for the record, I was most interested in the Redondo book.)

- As we headed into Market Square, there were no raids on businesses by the DEA or ATF. That was a little disappointing for us.

- I learned Newscoma used to be called "Tick". Let her explain that one. And I did not know that the late Ann Richards used to date Ned McWherter!

- I learned Pat Summit is currently separated.

- It is good to be the lone male accompanying four women.

- Poop stories were told by one and all at various points in the evening.

- Each of us has been and continue to be frighteningly close to the Seats of Power in Politics, Government, Media, Sports and Entertainment.

- We concluded this blogging thing might catch on.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention some other happy news about a blogger -- Valley Grrrl is about to have a baby, sometime today I think. That will make The Editor an Aunt. Again. Say congats to both. And yeah, that means L.A. Barabbas will be a dad!

On Being Groovy

So there's this dog here at the house, a bona fide canine, I mean. This said to distinguish the curious quality of Stray Dog which hovers about my particular person. Then there's my personal affinity with canines in general - but I digress.

The wee dog here is a mostly Sheltie dog, some other canine mixed in with it I guess, and she's about mid-sized and I realized a few years back I have known this one dog longer than any other dog in the span of my life. That milestone is also added to the appreciation I have for this particular dog's name, which is Groovy. So much fun to stand on the porch and yell out her name in the wee hours of the morning, calling her home. "Groooooooooooovvveeeeeeeee!!!"

I did not name her. I met her when she was almost a year old, and that was about 15 years ago, so her age is somewhere between 16 and 17 -- doing the mythic dog math means Groovy is 112 or older.

So Age itself hunkers about the poor creature of late, her hips corroded with arthritis and the extra weight she has place on her front legs now often leaves them slightly swollen, and she limps somewhat too. A year or so ago, she lost some control over her bowel movements --- you know what I mean - that ugly revenge Death takes on the Living. There usually are no messes, though, as she knows when action is imminent and she is well looked after in her home.

All those years in the past, the days and hours spent running and playing are dwindling away to days mostly spent sleeping - a walk in the yard nearly taxes her beyond her strength. I ponder on how long I should allow the Groovy One to suffer, and then she has a few days when she is fine - able to walk at least, run just a little. I can tell when her spirits are high and when she is dipping into pain, too.

She does take some pain medicine via the vet who cares for her and we add glucosamine supplements to her food.

But time is not on her side.

Truth be told, given the Stray Dog qualities of my life, I have only a few friends (other than my immediate family) with whom I have spent as much time. I am most thankful for them all -- But on many days, I prefer and have always preferred Groovy's company to almost any other life form on the planet.

Growing up, like bajillions of other humans, I have had pets and have buried them. It is never easy. And in the last 8 years, I have also attended the burials and passings of many of my family, so that the number of those who have populated my own life since birth are likewise dwindling.

So I am aware the passing and pain of one lone pup is barely a blip in the Universe of considerations of everyone and everything alive which exists.

I attempted to describe to a friend recently a certain mental image which has developed in my own muddled mind over the years as I (just as many others) try to accomadate an acceptance, an agreement with the spectre of Life's end. Again, to dredge up facts of my own past, I grew up with Death as a large presence -- my grandfather's farm was connected to a cemetery where he and my uncles worked to maintain the grounds and dig graves; my father, as a minister, ushered many families through times of Death; and I had a close childhood friend whose family home was the lone mortuary in the small town where I grew up.

So Death has always been in the edges and sometimes in the center of experiences.

With the recent demise of many in my family, along with an elderly and often sick mother and a few other elderly friends I help with household day-to-days, the particular mental image I have made might seem grim to some, but to me, it's more of an image of symbiosis.

One cannot be without the Other. Death and dying hover about each of us, like carrion birds, vulturous pets which as time passes begin to gnaw away at the very perch they require, to whittle away on us. In too many places one the planet, violent death and destruction are constants. So in context, living in this fortunate country is a wild and imagined luxury for many.

But here's the deal: Groovy is my friend and Death is replacing my prominence in her life - Age and Time grip each of us in a smothering hug which culminates in lifelessness.

For now, I assist the Groovy one as much as I can and am mindful that a day is swiftly rising in which a decision will have to be made, unless through some merciful moment, she simply fades while sleeping. I doubt that will happen - and it is a selfish thought, for my benefit but also for hers.

One day she'll look at me with eyes that ask for me to play Dr Kevorkian instead of fetch. I don't like that fact, but again, as I mentioned, I am forced by Time and Experience to be ... accomodating. It's like that line of Dickinson's poem which I have always liked -- "because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me."

"Kindly."

As a writer (and a living creature, too) I so appreciate that particular word choice.

Both the creamy warm human center in me and the aforementioned Stray Dog-ness crave to Live as long as Groovy - to be 112 one day would be fine, as long as it did not happen at the end of a hose or on handfuls of dizzying medicines. If I were to reach that age, the year would be 2072, and in all my imaginings that part of my life would be in the early days of galactic human migrations. Given the state of humans in this year, 2006, I seriously doubt any such event is likely by 2072. Maybe by 2172. Maybe.

Humanity's taste for self-destruction which reigns so supreme in 2006 makes it more likely that 2072 will still be a time of Tribal Wars, as it is today.

Personally, I am glad to have no affinity for minds which see honor, glory or goodness in exploding or shooting other living things. Maybe those minds never had the simple joy of having a dog as a friend, maybe their minds were nutured in some holy fervor wherein Death and Killing are the (deeply misunderstood) avenue to moments of transendence.

Most days, for instance, I think the world's Tribal Leaders (and their fervent followers) have not even the tiniest grasp of what Life or what Death means. So it is no suprise to me they have no concept of what words like Freedom or Equality actually mean. Their non-creamy human centers must be instead bitter and barren plains, vast and endless. They and their followers must be swamped in such learned ignorance and greed for intangible and imaginary Power that they barely (if at all) touch the outer-most edges of Humanity

Again, to be more direct, it's that I treasure this rather simple problem of boy and dog and the progression of Time.

Within that parameter of Time, we are playing, or she is nuzzling my hand as I scratch her nose. Those millions of moments have more value than a flag or an anthem or a committee. Within that section of Time, Joy is the constant, and the end is barely a millisecond.

Like George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life", I know I am one of the wealthiest people on the planet.

POSTSCRIPT

I wrote the above about one month ago. Today, the Groovy one died, due to her failing health and our ardent wish for her suffering to end. Not an easy thing, but it was the right thing. She gave me that look late last night.

When I got to the animal hospital with her this afternoon, she waited in the truck while I spoke to the vet. An assistant asked me what color of fur she had (I have no idea why that was important) Before I could even think to answer, the words "She's golden" came out of my mouth. She is and always will be.

Your Vote = $10, More or Less

Vote buying scandals were reported widely in August, and I understand the TBI is investigating several allegations. In a story today from the Knoxville News Sentinel, a hearing on the matter in Union County was so garbled and absurd it could easily be a People's Court segment. Or maybe a weird mashup of Jerry Springer and Judge Judy with a little Kafka and a little Dukes of Hazzard all mixed together. I got a headache trying to follow it all.

When witnesses who had previously signed affidavits professing their votes were purchased for 10 bucks actually got on the stand, they began to claim a common woe - they were mentally ill and illiterate. The judge asked if everyone testifying was also incapable of voting too.

Charlie Cox,a Union County Commissioner accused of the vote buying in the election for 10 bucks a whack tells the KNS that is too low a price:

" Later in the day, sitting in the bay of his body shop north of Maynardville, he said he's not concerned about the possibility of a criminal probe into the vote-buying allegations.

"I don't give a (expletive)," Cox said in a profanity-laced interview, adding: "I haven't done anything."

Cox said he'd given the Miller family money for years to help them out. Plus, he said, buying votes costs more than $10.

"I've never seen anybody buy a vote for $10," he said, "and I've been around a lot of elections."

It is a fascinating account of an election. And the judge did dismiss the case, even though the TBI is still investigating the events. But Cox is wrong about the price - it could just be equal to the value of a bag of pork rinds.

A case that has been unfolding over the course of this year in Appalachia has accounts of votes being purchased for 10 bucks and less - and yes, even pork rinds.

It is a very convoluted case to track through, but reports in the Kingsport Times-News do reveal one very clear scam - seizing and altering absentee ballots.

Also last week an editorial in The Tennessean had some startling statistics about voting fraud, noting:

"Legal experts say most voter fraud occurs in absentee balloting, not covered by the new photo ID laws. Plaintiffs challenging the Arizona law have shown that only 238 of 2.7 million registered voters in the past 10 years have been noncitizens, and only four of them voted."

It truly shatters the myths about our process, that every vote counts. Seems as if some people hold pork rinds in higher esteem than the right to vote. Seems they hold the right to vote with something like contempt. But for all the modern equipment and no matter which state is involved, multiple problems continue to be reported -- and none of them would be solved with the proposed changes in voting IDs.

In Hamblen County, Judge James Beckner has been appointed to investigate challenges to the August election -- but I wonder if anyone will be investigating the absentee ballots along with alleged malfunctions in voting machines. Info on the case so far can be found here.

There is an expression that it isn't who votes that counts, but who counts the votes. But as best as I can find, even determining who actually said that is in much doubt.

Foley and Bush Chat, or Make Your Own Caption

Can't help but laugh when I see this photo.

The original caption for this reads

"President Bush walks with Rep. Mark Foley, (R-Fla.) (L) after Hurricane Charlie in Florida in this August 15, 2004 file photo. A seamy Capitol Hill sex scandal is the latest bad news to deflate Republicans and leave them scrambling for political survival four weeks before elections that will decide whether they keep control of the U.S. Congress. REUTERS/Larry Downing"

The story is here. And it isn't a good one. (And who is surprised they were there to see Charlie?)

However, the one and only Tits McGee has found another notable photo to commemorate the Foley scandal. (um .... scroll down to the photo in the post)

Time to Arm and Train Teachers To Shoot?

School teachers should be allowed to carry concealed weapons while on the job, or so says one state legislator in Wisconsin.

Why?

To prevent or at least change the outcome of someone attacking students/faculty with a gun.

Since school property has already been deemed a "gun-free zone", it is amazing that armed killers somehow get their insane plans to work.

"Republican Rep. Frank Lasee said he planned to introduce legislation that would allow school personnel to carry concealed weapons. He stressed that it would hinge on school staff members getting strict training on the use of the weapons, and he acknowledged he would have to work around a federal law that bans guns on school grounds."

Despsite recent events and some continued fears - statistically, kids are at their safest while in school. But hey, an Algebra or Geometry teacher might just be able to decide the right vectors and probabilities faster than any would-be attacker. And kids darn well better get that homework in on time.

A Story With More Diversions Than A Political Campaign

So I walk into the tiny convenience store the other morning, probably to get more of those cigars my doctor has said I really should avoid since I am toying with a return to my dangerous habit of starting to smoke cigarettes again, which I won't, they smell so nasty now and it has been an impossible habit to break, and anyway, I just spent the last few weeks wandering the hallways of a hospital in Knoxville in the section where people dying from smoking habits fill each room and echoes of pain seared my ears, so even if I do have a few cigars, I have so much fear of smoking-related illnesses I've begun to equate having that cigar to chewing on radioactive cyanide bubble-gum and wonder why I do it at all.

Jeez. Where the heck was I?

Oh yeah, I walked into this little market. And really anymore, if the store I walk into isn't a hundred-bajillion-square-feet of Monster Store, then it is a teeny market that carries odd items like cans of Vienna Sausages, beef jerky, Power drinks, B.C. Powder and usually something like a Confederate Flag shaped into a Yin-Yang symbol on the outside of an imitation Zippo lighter. And lottery tickets.

And why is that hundreds of billions of dollars has been awarded to states and attorneys on behalf of lawsuits related to bad business practices of cigarette companies and I have never received one thin dime for the 30 years I spent smoking, which results in me having Immense Fear of the sleeping rattlesnake of smoke coiled in the bottom of my lungs? I mean, do I have to find some actual group of people who have signed onto some class-action lawsuit and then join them officially by spending what little money I have filing some sort of legal papers? What if the suit is lost? Do I have to pay even more?

Aw, jeez. I'm waaay off from where this one started. I blame that habit of telling long jokes usually populated with talking animals, imaginary creatures or religious leaders simply to end in a really bad pun, like "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids" or some such nonsense.

And really, at this point, can I even get to where I was going from here? Lemme go get a cup of coffee to clear my head and try this again.

Ahhhhh, coffee, my favorite bean product.

Let's try this approach - after reading the above it may (or may not) seem obvious I have various fears of inanimate and animate objects which clutter up the world and sometimes going out to do something simple requires I somehow gather a hefty amount of courage to attempt interaction.

I used to just think I had a verrrry low tolerance to Stupid and actually being out there in the world among Others, that threshold was quickly crossed and I got headaches and felt anger and bile rising up my gullet. I sincerely fought to combat that by trying to imagine, all Zen-like, that everyone and everything I saw and heard was just another facet of myself, which can make you think you're either really messed up or humble you into realizing you ain't all that. And on those rare occasions when I can see something of myself in everyone, I start to get dizzy.

OK, wait - I'm drifting again. Must be these sinus problems and my general slacking, procrastinating ways.

Suffice to say, I think everybody has to suck it up and get out in the world since it is populated by both people and things which often seem so alien it's no wonder wingnuts and wackos seem to fill up the world. I mean, I see some order in stuff like the trees and the grass and the sunshine (or clouds), but I fathom zero usefulness or order to some now-agendized and activated political program which requires me to staple myself into my taxed and insured mode of transportation, which I am only allowed to use on certain stretches of tax-funded pavement, and if I'm lucky enough to work I can only sit at the desk a certain way and not have photos or personal items in my work area for fear it may somehow de-value the stock of the company I work for or offend some tenderfooted numbskull who fears the affects a word or a picture might have on the Structure of Civilization itself.

Ah. damn! Sorry, sorry everyone. There really was a rather funny little event I was going to relate and these somewhat deranged diatribes have pretty much sucked all the Funny out of this post.

Sigh.

Sure, I could delete all the above and write it again. But just this week I was wondering how many fine and excellent pieces of writing appear on the internets in all the pages and blogs, fine sentences and metaphors which in the past some would-be writer might struggle for a week or a day to achieve and even if created, what chance did that person have of seeing other people read it? Of course, sometimes finding a good sentence or thought in all the digitally textualized moments on the Web is rather akin to sifting a pan through muddy waters for a year to find a few nuggets of valuable mineral.

And now that this story I wanted to tell has trailed away with so many distractions and diversions it could qualify as a campaign for public office, then let me summarize as the Would-Be Campaigner:

"I can assure you, my friends, the story you could have heard today would have warmed the hearts of America's family and embiggened us all with our common humanity. And again, let me assure you of my good intentions - I am sure the honesty of my words will be perceived as such by all honest men and women.

For now, I shall take my leave but upon my return, I vow to provide the story we have all come here today to hear, and have every right to hear as Liberty-loving Americans, will be presented in it's entirety.

Thank you and God Bless America."

More Friday Film Fun

Begin by checking out The Mother of All Trailers here for the most awe-inspiring film preview of the season.

Writer/director Joss Whedon vents on all the web rumors about his work and says "Wonder Woman" will be played by that "interweb" star, Lonelygirl. Heh heh. Also, he'll tell you about CLEM! The Musical.

In the Real World, Ann Coulter gets buuuurned in Reason 5,346 why she is an unreliable hack.

And lastly, there is one huge Harvest Moon up in the sky this weekend. With the approach of this giant orb and the impending arrival of Halloween, here is what happens when a creation from the mind of horror writer H.P. Lovecraft turns into a call-in talk show host -- it's Calls For Cthulu --

Camera Obscura - The Departed, The Proposition and Other Acts of Vengeance

It"s no secret I am a big fan of the Hong Kong action films and many of them draw power and ideas from American Cinema. Director John Woo's operatic "The Killer" is dedicated to Martin Scorsese, who returns the thanks this weekend with the release of "The Departed," a loose remake of one of the best HK films in some years, "Infernal Affairs."

The hallmarks of Scorsese violence are large in "The Departed" and he leans heavily on three A-List stars - Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson - in an epic story of living double lives, as police detectives, mob informants and mob bosses. His version of the film, set in Boston, also runs about 50 minutes longer. Scriptwriter William Monahan says he never saw the original film, but made his adaptation after reading a translated version of the original Chinese script.

It's a good way to re-interpret the movie, since the original's visual style, pace, acting and music are truly without match. The Scorsese film flows more from his own style, which will give audiences two distinct takes on a similar story. But I get so disgusted with American critics/media promoters who claim this movie is a "triumphant return" for Marty -- as if he last two or three were somehow sub-par, half-assed nonsense.

What I do encourage viewers to do, however, is to vigorously search out "Infernal Affairs." Not only does it boast it's own A-List Asian stars, the movie is expertly engrossing, suspenseful and constantly surprising with the way it twists and turns the characters. It swept up so many awards in 2002 and has such respect in the film community, it clearly echoes the admiration Hollywood gave to "Seven Samurai", which has been endlessly remade.

NEW ON DVD

As with "The Departed," another type of cop drama, another type of re-imagining of genres hit DVD shelves with the visceral and relentless Australian "western", "The Proposition". A gritty and character driven script by punk rock legend Nick Cave, the movie takes on a time-honored story of what is deemed necessary to "civilize" the countryside from haven for "outlaws and savages". It opens in mid-shootout, which is as grim as anything from Peckinpah -- messy, chaotic and not one bit sanitized.

The local "sheriff", Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone) and his crew ends up capturing members of the brutal Burns family and, in his mind, offers a crafty plan. He tells Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) he will hang the somewhat innocent youngest Burns brother unless Charlie seeks out and kills the oldest of the family, brother Arthur (Danny Huston).

Just as Sergio Leone did in the 1960s, director John Hillcoat, fills the screen with a scarred and barren landscape of faces and scrubby wastelands. The story also draws from ideas used by Clint Eastwood to examine the nature and effects of equating revenge and retribution with justice. No mistake, the Burns brothers are ugly beasts - but the ugliness of the settlers and the law is made nearly identical. And for all the intense violence, the story is also deeply subtle and never preachy. It has moments of lyrical beauty and absurd madness.


The movie is not for every taste, I admit. But it is deeply haunting and a brilliant take on the Western genre. Also of note are the fine performances by Winstone (who also provided the voice for the cuddly li'l beaver in "Narnia'), Pearce, and Huston. Huston, the son of director John Huston has been making terrific supporting roles in a wide range of films over the last few years. But here he stakes out a real breakthrough performance.

RATHER SAD NEWS

Poor George Lucas - loved for creating the "Star Wars" movies and hated for making more of them - is truly having a tough time with what to do now. He announced this week he is giving up on film and is taking Lucasfilm to television -- "We don't want to make movies. We're about to get into television. As far as Lucasfilm is concerned, we've moved away from the feature film thing because it's too expensive and it's too risky. "I think the secret to the future is quantity," Lucas said."

George -- it's the Quality we all miss.

BANNED BOOK WEEK VIDEOS

As the American Library Association has again devoted time and attention to books that have been banned or removed from shelves due to complaints, I noticed a webpage of short student-made videos based on some of these nefarious writings.

Take that, you censors!! If a parent was horrified their child might encounter "Catcher In The Rye," the short video translating it with a lesbian twist may well make their heads explode. Also featured are videos based on such banned titles as "To Kill A Mockingbird" and "Brave New World" Check the page out here.

IT IS OCTOBER, BRING ON THE ZOMBIES!

Here's one for your discussion and review -- a list of the best ever zombie movies via RetroCrush. The good folks there even give you YouTube clips of all their picks.

Happy Halloween!

Why Sen. Frist Loves Mark Foley

A roundup of the outrage and verb-rage among Tennessee bloggers about the Congressman Mark Foley scandal which Brittany put together is an astonishing thing.

Those are just a few of the writers in one state, so the entire national media output on this whole deal, if converted to, say, electrical energy, would likely be enough to eliminate the infamous 'oil addiction' our humble country shakes and shivers from like the most stereotypical junkie of all time.

Of all the many thoughts I read today, however, I liked how the folks at Liberadio framed it -- the political landscape is currently eyeball-deep in disastrous leadership of nearly every stripe, but a sex scandal - now there's an attention-grabber!!

The one and only Republican who is on his knees (*cough*) thanking Mark Foley for getting freaky with the boys is Tennessee Senator Bill Frist.

Why?

Because Foley's problems have pushed the dangerous confessional comments the senator made about appeasing the Taliban terrorists so far into the background, it's like he never said what he did say:

"U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) said Monday that the war against Taliban guerrillas in Afghanistan could never be won militarily, and he urged support for efforts to bring "people who call themselves Taliban" into the government.

Frist said he learned from military briefings that Taliban fighters were too numerous and had too much popular support to be defeated on the battlefield.

"You need to bring them into a more transparent type of government," he said during a visit to a military base in the Taliban stronghold of Qalat. "And if that's accomplished, we'll be successful."

Frenzied internet sex scandals win the day - and idiots rule in Washington.

Schools of Violence

I was driving past a few elementary and middle schools yesterday on my way into Knoxville, and I had to wonder how many of the parents, teachers, and of course the kids, were thinking about the three most recent violent attacks inside schools in America.

One of the schools I passed was the scene last August of an incident where a fight over a weapon in a bathroom led to one teen being shot in the leg and two students being charged with planning to kill a teacher. So even in the most rural of settings, violence erupts in a school.

The horrific events in the small Amish school were created by a very disturbed adult, and not a child. In just about every way, I'm glad I do not easily grasp how such a thing can happen. Even though there may be explanations and reasons provided in this case - the acts the man took made everything worse.

Writer William Gaddis once wrote that it was one of the "blessings of childhood that when they are being warped the most they are aware of it the least." I used to think that line had some truth, but not so anymore. With friends who work with abused children, with an awareness of how brutal and sadly how often adults can warp a child, I tend to marvel instead that any of us make the passage from infant to adult with few warps and twists.

The school years seemed to take an eternity to pass for me, as slow as the endless seconds which might occur on the event horizon of a black hole. I have some fine memories of those days, but mostly I never liked being there. And there violent events in my own school, back when nearly every boy carried a pocketknife. I remember one girl in 5th grade who gained infamy when she boasted about the straight razor she carried in her purse. But no teacher or administrator ever confronted her or took the weapon away.

The items teachers confiscated in those days were comic books, yo-yos, or stuff ordered from the ads in comics like joy buzzers and whoopee cushions and "x-ray specs" and vampire teeth, or maybe the toys one could fit into our pre-techno pockets like Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars, green toy soldiers, and other tiny distractions we used to enliven the dull droning days.

By fifth or sixth grade, educators were experimenting with the effects of circular chair placements, "learning pods" instead of classrooms, and other oddities that seemed to emphasize the geometries of space rather than the efficacy of lesson plans.

By the last few years of high school, you would sometimes see a student hustled into "the office" with a small bag of marijuana or some pills they snagged from the home medicine cabinet or maybe bought from a fellow student.

And also in those last days of my time in high school, I could sense this real and growing deep despair among students and faculty alike - some prompted by the multitudes of "broken homes", by the depths of poverty and the increasing pressures and menace of social status. That social ordering was becoming vicious - who you were or were not friends with started being an intensely cruel situation. And I was in a very small school, which I typically think of as so small we hardly had enough people to form more than one clique -- but they were formed and the rules of association and disassociation were very harsh.

When I graduated, I felt as if I had been released from prison, though I'm sure that sounds like a very lame comparison.

I admit there were a few teachers in high school which I actively punished with psychological attacks, pushing at boundaries and behaviors if only to define those boundaries. One dull afternoon in my senior year, I was standing in the hallways prior to a class with a few of my friends and one of them whipped out a deck of playing cards and we started flipping them at each other - well, trying to flip them. We were hardly ninja assassins with throwing acumen. Still, a vice-principal saw us, took us into "the office" and lectured us for half an hour on the Evils of our card throwing. He actually said "someone could have lost an eye" and I nearly hemorrhaged suppressing a laugh.

If that event were to occur in a school setting today, myself and my companions would likely be treated to the absurdity of "Zero Tolerance", be forever expelled and possibly have to appear in court.

Statistics currently indicate episodes of school violence are declining, but obviously the intensity and media feeding frenzy that follows create the impression of schools as dangerous, dark places with metal detectors, windowless rooms, constant camera surveillance, lockdowns, constantly roving police officers.

Current policies labels like No Child Left Behind or Zero Tolerance, along with constant testing pressures in which scores must reach certain levels and continue to roll upwards or loss of federal funding is threatened, all that policy-making and pressure, along with events like those in recent weeks and the Columbine Fear that seem to envelope all education make me even happier that I left school long ago and that I don't have children who would be immersed in such bizarre cultures.

Instead, as I did yesterday, I drove past the school zones feeling some sympathies for all those kids and adults left in these buildings to make their way in an ever more convoluted maze. It appears to me the process has become more confusing, the goals and methods obscured by federal or local regulations with mystifying meanings.

I consider myself fortunate that while I have the maddening adult world to contend with, I don't have the added confusions and fears of what my children may or may not experience in public education. Too often I hear the emphasis being placed on students that they must learn well in order to obtain a good job, and seldom do I hear emphasis placed on the real value of education for it's own sake - to develop critical thinking skills and comprehension, to realize that we must constantly process information and determine whether it is factual or theoretical, that learning to express yourself can be the most important of lessons.

'Greatest American Hero' Returns

Back in the early months of 1981, the nation was about to have an actor transform into a president and the hostage nightmare in Iran was about to end. MTV was about to be launched. In 1981, Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton would be born. And in those early months a new adventure-comedy TV show arrived and it finally arrives this week in a brand spankin' new DVD set.

"The Greatest American Hero" was an unusual mix of comedy and drama and fantasy. A mild mannered school teacher (William Katt) receives an unwanted draft into superhero status one night when aliens give him a vivid red super suit and an instruction book on how to operate it. The aliens depart and unfortunately, our "hero" loses the book.

Mixing the comedy and the drama was well done by stars Katt and an oddball FBI agent (Robert Culp), though most people recall the show these days because it's theme song actually broke into the Top 40 charts.

I'll have more on this new DVD boxed set from Anchor Bay in a few days, but the limited edition set now available boasts some true fanboy items to attract your attention -- the limited edition tin-box set includes all 3 seasons, a full length American Hero cape and the instruction book on it's operation (don't lose it!!), and 200 randomly inserted autographed pics of Katt. This new set has already earned the sci-fi Saturn Award for "Best Retro Television Release on DVD".

More of My One-Sided, Narrow Views

Had enough yet?

More on the forgetful Rice memory.

Thank you sir, may I have another?

(hey, you know, it's really, REALLY easy to imitate the blog stylings of InstyBoyWonderPundit - it's is just like they say - all linky, no thinky.)

Oh and AT refers us to 19 Terrific Midnight Movies.