The conduct of people writing and commenting on websites and blogs was mentioned in a post today from Mike Silence at his KNS blog. His headline sums up his approach to the topic neatly: "Code of Conduct for bloggers is a bad idea."
There are many ways to allow or not allow comments, anonymous or otherwise. There are sites I go to not only for the info they offer, but for the comments. MetaFilter and Nashville is Talking always have comments that are immensely entertaining to read. Some national sites have informative posts and the comments are pure drivel.
Some folks loooove to pick fights and get nasty in comments. Some don't. Heated arguments, those that don't dip into childish name-calling, can be informative too. What I've found is that you can pretty much determine the standards of writing and commenting just by reading thru a few posts, without ever bothering to read Site Rules page.
So the idea there should be some "standard code of conduct' in place is just inane and also a sign that the person or persons who operate a site are pretty clueless. There have been comments I have deleted myself on these pages, usually when someone decides to get nasty and mean in attacks on other people who leave a comment. You wanna leave a comment that rips me, have at it. I do not worry about it, because I run this site. I have all the power to delete or not delete.
Sometimes folks have used coarse language in comments here which I don't use on this page. I may cringe a little, but I leave those comments in. Usually, they are funny, but if someone were to start hurling invectives at others for no reason -- well, like I said, I run the page and I make the rules. And just like in much of life, the rules are not written down. You cross a line and get smacked, well, you learn from it hopefully.
So if you feel the need to establish a 'code of conduct' for your web site, then do it. Rules on posting can vary from site to site, depending of the person or persons who run the site and that makes sense to me. But to expect others to do likewise is a fool's dream. People create groups of like-minded blogs all the time and there is no reason to demand all blogs fit into one category only.
It's like that old joke when the guy goes to his doctor and waves his arm up and down and says, "Hey doc it hurts when I do that." And the doc replies "Then don't do that." If you are contstanly shocked and dismayed by the comments you read regularly on some site, then maybe don't read them or (over)react to them. If you have something to say, say it. If you can't make a coherent comment, that's your tough luck.