Great writing is flourishing in the comments section of Amazon (as I've recently noted). Today's example comes via the hundreds of 'reviews' of a BIC ink pen ''designed for her":
"I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each
day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good.
It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer
thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks."
---
"Normally my hand writing is defined and strong, as if chiselled in
granite by the Greek gods themselves, however upon signing my name I
noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and
looping. More worryingly the dots above the I's manifested themselves as
hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley
face and kisses. Obviously I had no choice but to challenge the delivery
man to a gun fight on the rim of an erupting volcano in order to
reassert my dominance. Had I not won this honourable duel this
particular mistake might have resulted in a situation that no amount of
expensive single malt whiskey and Cuban cigars could banish. I leave
this review here as a warning to all men about the dangers of using this
particular device, and suffice-it-to-say will return to signing my name
with a nail gun as normal."
---
"Gone are the days when I had to wrap my delicate lady hands around an
ugly man pen to write my recipes and devotional love poems to men. Now I
can commit myself to writing to do lists with an oh-so-soft grip
between the frail appendages that - were they stronger - could be called
fingers."
No comments:
Post a Comment