Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tennessee Senate Wants To Ban Teaching Gravity

(NOTE:  Satire follows below ... at least I hope it is satire.)

Speaking from outside the Tennessee State Capitol building in Nashville, Weinger said the bill would protect teachers who chose to criticize gravity and other scientific theories in their classrooms.

“The aim of all education is to teach students to think for themselves and we plan to do this by allowing children to be indoctrinated with whatever loosely founded views their teachers may hold.”

He added “there is strong evidence in the Bible that the Law of Gravity is a fallacy. For example, Hebrew 1:3 explicitly states that Christ upholds all things by the word of his power – seems like a pretty solid argument to me”.

“If you compare this against what’s currently taught – that matter ‘emits gravitational waves’ which ‘effect the curvature of the space time continuum’…well gravity starts to look pretty unlikely doesn’t it? I’m pretty sure most of those aren’t even real words. Unlike Christ’s.”

Ms. Jenny Fuller, an elementary school teacher from Gatlinburg TN who has been campaigning against the inclusion of gravity in the school curriculum for several years, said she was “delighted” with the outcome.

“I have long felt uncomfortable teaching gra…gra….this theory” she said. “It is clearly a dangerous idea to teach our children – Newton ‘discovered’ gravity by an apple falling on his head, Adam and Eve fell from the Garden of Eden for eating one. Then Newton calls gravity an ‘attractive force between all objects’ – such a mentality is clearly a gateway for temptation and sexual promiscuity”.

More here, and for those who need even more assistance:
SATIRE:  Noun: 1. The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices.


  1. satire is supposed to be funny ... mocking people's faith, or comparing darwinism/creationism to be like disbelieving in gravity is just rude.

  2. I appreciated all 3 comments you left AgThorn, but decided to print this one as it made me laugh and encapsulated your utter failure to consider that the satire was aimed at the Tennessee legislature.

    However, it has been historically documented that I am often quite rude.

  3. Funny is an opinion. Just because you dont think it is doesnt mean someone else does. What is rude is your selfishness by reading it and letting it affect your personnel opinion and putting it out there for others.

  4. indeed, William, i did read, ponder on what i read and reprinted a large portion of it and linked to the site i found it on.
    this is called, by some, blogging, or linking or a waste of internet time/space. i blog because i want to. i selfishly believe everyone has a right to my opinion.