Pelosi Calls For US Auto Bailout
-- alternate report: Final Days of Bush Presidency and Everything Must Go Sale!!
Saudi Arabia Sues Cigarette Importers for $34 Billion
- next up: Medically Obese Population to Sue Makers of Couches, Corn Syrup
Another Celebrity Goes Home on Dancing With The Stars
- come on, times are really tough, so why not turn this into a Depression-era-style Dance Marathon, where the celebs must dance around the clock until they all drop from exhaustion, then the winner is able to qualify for a federal bailout plan.
McCain: Palin Will 'Play Big Role In The Future Of Our Country'
- It's Alive! It's Aliiiiiive!!
Roger Moore Dislikes New James Bond
- one word: 'Moonraker'
SEE ALSO: Great Headline Writing - Not!