Friday, October 24, 2008

Camera Obscura: Friday the Infinite 13th; Gone of the Dead; "Lost" Returns

From "Gone of the Dead"

No, I don't think I will eat your brain, although you need your brain eaten, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should have your brain eaten and often, and by someone who knows how."

That's from a blog called Cinema Styles, and I had much appreciation for a short they produced too, for Universal's monsters, with the simple title of "Beautiful Monsters". After more than 70 years, these images and performances remain the most compelling created in horror films. In another 70 years, these images will continue to be among the best ever made.


A new re-boot to the "Friday The 13th" movie series is on the way and what I saw in the trailer really did not impress. Let's be honest - the campy destruction of destructive campers at Crystal Lake by various incarnations and impersonations of one Jason Vorhees have never offered too much more than a momentary thrill. This ain't yer cinematic art form. This is low-budget cheese, though it is excellent low-budget cheese. (For the record, since Michael Bay is the producer here, I fully expect someone/something to explode and if it doesn't, I will be sorely disappointed as that is what Bay does best.)

While doing much movie-promo work for Carmike Cinemas in the 1980s here in Morristown, I hosted numerous "Friday The 13th" openings with contests and prizes and midnight premieres and by far, the crowds of folks sitting quietly in their seats under the dim lights while wearing blood-soaked clothes, holding onto machetes and wearing hockey masks remain in my brain as some of the scariest things I've ever seen. They were just so quiet and well behaved it was truly frightening.

At Cinematical, they offer up An Obsessive-Compulsive's Guide To The Friday-13th Movies, which includes this nugget of information:

Finally, and most disturbingly, four of the 10 films feature men wearing Daisy Duke shorts. Was this acceptable in the 1980s?"

For myself, the best moment in the series comes in "Jason X", or as I like to call it, "Jason Goes To Outer Space", when the fleeing space station folks distract (a newly cyberized) Jason by cranking up the space station holo-deck and programming it to run images of his old campground and some 80s-era camper-babes who want to party. And poor Jason can't resist and can't figure out what the heck is happening.



A brief run for "Toxic Avenger: The Musical".

The makers of the "Saw" movies get the go-ahead to remake a stack of RKO/Val Lewton classics, like "The Body Snatcher" and "I Walked With A Zombie".

Hugh Jackman and Catherine Zeta-Jones to star in a 3-D Musical version of Cleopatra.

Finally, finally, we approach a new season, the 5th, for "Lost". When last we left our heroes, the entire island vanished. This season ... Spock and Gilligan help the Scooby-Gang return to Witch Mountain thanks to a new Knight Rider Car driven by Batman and Dracula. Well, hey, you don't believe me? Watch the trailer right here!

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