Saturday, July 15, 2006

Make Up Your Own Funny White House Job-Title

One Congressman gets the point about the so-called Director Lessons Learned job at the White House - which is that it's a bullshit job.

"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - U.S. Representative Rahm Emanuel (D-IL) released the following statement in advance of delivery on the House floor:

"Mr. Speaker, yesterday the President said we continue to be wise about how we spend the people's money.

"Then why are we paying over $100,000 for a 'White House Director of Lessons Learned'?

"Maybe I can save the taxpayers $100,000 by running through a few of the lessons this White House should have learned by now.

"Lesson 1: When the Army Chief of Staff and the Secretary of State say you are going to war without enough troops, you're going to war without enough troops.

"Lesson 2: When 8.8 billion dollars of reconstruction funding disappears from Iraq, and 2 billion dollars disappears from Katrina relief, it's time to demand a little accountability.

"Lesson 3: When you've 'turned the corner' in Iraq more times than Danica Patrick at the Indy 500, it means you are going in circles.

"Lesson 4: When the national weather service tells you a category 5 hurricane is heading for New Orleans, a category 5 hurricane is heading to New Orleans.

"I would also ask the President why we're paying for two 'Ethics Advisors' and a 'Director of Fact Checking.'

"They must be the only people in Washington who get more vacation time than the President.

"Maybe the White House could consolidate these positions into a Director of Irony."


The link to the orginal is here.

8 comments:

Cinemonkey said...

Are Letterman's writers moonlighting?
This guy rocks!

sandegaye said...

Loved the race track metaphor..
ha!

Tits McGee said...

I loved Rahm Emanuel before, but now?

*swoons*

newscoma said...

Bwwwhaaahaaaa.
That's funny.

Joe Powell said...

cinemonkey - no, but the Keyston Cops are running the White House,

Sande - me too. and dana rocks!

tits - i don't swoon, but i'm glad to hear more officials yelling out the Emperor Has No Clothes!!

Newscoma - yes, yes it is! mr colbert needs to book Emanuel!

The Editor said...

Mmmmmmm... Rahm...
Mmmmmmm...


[not only swooning, but also drooling]

Tits McGee said...

Okay, Rahm Emanuel on the Colbert Report? I think I'd pass out from the excitement.

The Editor said...

Rahm and S. Colbert together?
Tits, you'd better have an emergency medical team standing by just in case.